Three Rings Should Stop Making Promotions!

That's right! You heard me. Spiral Knight players don't deserve promotions anyways. Once there are no more promotions, the CE price will continue to rise and that's a good thing. More players are forced to buy CE with money or farm harder for CE! People don't like to play Spiral Knights. What they really enjoy is farming. In fact, take away the elevator pass and cut the elevator cost in half once every week. No i take it back, make the elevator free! If we really have to put promotions, put the promotions in the Auction House for a few million crowns each or only purchasable with CE. Make sure the promotion is absolutely useless and does nothing to benefit the players. It also must be accessorizable so the players can decorate! (I made that word up!) Hey, women like diamonds and diamonds are absolutely useless and accessorizable. You can make the promotion cute and adorable or pretend you guys are thoughtful. They wont know.

For weapons, we are going to make them break over time unless they re-energize it with CE. So its like renting a weapon, but the players don't know that. Now after we jacked up the costs, players have to farm constantly if they want to continue this game. Then, we slowly turn the players into crown slave farmers! You get more benefits with slaves. [Don't worry, normal people don't usually read this far or they cant read and fully understand it. So people wont know you are turning your players into slaves!. Milked the players more. If players still don't understand slavery. People will understand slavery eventually when they become adults with large Debts. Debt is modern slavery.] Don't feel guilty about being greedy. I am a greedy person and I don't deny it.

After you have done all that, you can make a lottery to win a billion crowns every month! Each lottery ticket will be 50,000 crowns each. Nobody has to win the lottery, you can pretend that someone won a billion crowns. They wont know the difference. If someone complains, Throw A Baby Mewkat At Their Face! They wont say anything because they cant take their eyes off the Baby Mewkat.

Now we have created so much free time for three rings staff to relax. We can utilize part of that time to create new content for the game! You can open up The Core that might actually be another portal to another world that looks identical. The game is already repetitive, the players wont mind if you copy and paste the original world. They wont know. Make a stupid idea up like Gremlins invade Town Square. New content will be released once a year. If three ring's staff gets lazy and players are complaining again, just REPLACE All THE SNIPES IN TOWN SQUARE WITH BABY MEWKATS! Players will have a chance to hold them and pet them! If the staff is still too lazy, then just PUT REGULAR KATS IN TOWN SQUARE TO NOMM EVERYONE'S FACES OFF. It will be a great surprised. Purrrrfect!