Mario Kart Coliseum mode
It's been a while since a new coliseum game was introduced, and I've been wondering what kind of PvP game could be added that would be a lot of fun. The only thing I could think of that is even fun when you are losing is something like Mario Kart. Thinking about it, it could be pretty cool. 8 player kart racing where the knights could choose from 5 or so different types of karts with strengths and weaknesses, grabbing random weapons through iron lockboxes scattered through the tracks, having things like a slimeball for a banana weapon, cursed lockboxes, CE booster as mushrooms, and so on and so forth. Could even have 4 on 4 team races where it's judged on the placings everyone finishes in, like 1st brings 8 points, while last brings 1. Add the points the team earns, and that team wins. Weapons fired will be surrounded in the team color, so if it hits a teammate, it could either go through them or be used up without effect.
I'm pretty sure the lack of wheels isn't so much because they can't be done on Cradle, but because most of the stuff the knights use can be carried easily enough, and the knights don't travel along the surface of the planet, but rather go downwards. The coliseum is proof enough that the knights are sporty, and it can be done. You are kind of right about it not fitting the theme of the game, but PvP doesn't fit them in general really.
As for it basically being the death throes, I guess you are right, but it doesn't have to be if it's done right.

I don't really see how this fits with the whole "coliseum" thing, since a coliseum is generally a place
where gladiatorial combat is fought. Heck, it doesen't really fit with Spiral Knights as a whole. And
also, I'm afraid that I have to agree with Klipik. A kart racing mini-game just seems like the sort of thing that
they WILL inevitably release when the game is in its final years of popularity and they're just plain
old out of ideas to make the game itself better.

I'm new to the forums language and do not speak English too well m so sorry for any mistakes
good at first as klipik said does not fit the theme of the game and why mario kart? Not that I do not like the idea but I can not think esque me a race car with my avatar xD but not saying it's a bad idea...
To those who say that the kart race idea doesn't fit the theme of a coliseum, I would like to remind you of a popular ancient greek/roman game called Chariot Racing. It was a game where gladiators raced in a coliseum on vehicles powered by horses, where the combatants would often take serious injury or death. It does fit the theme of a coliseum, and it's no more out of place than any other PvP game when the point of everything else in Spiral Knights is to work together to kill everything BUT each other.
And have you actually played Sonic All-Star Racing Transformed? It's actually really good. Best Mario Kart-like racing game I've played since Mario Kart 64. And have you played any of the recent Sonic games? Colors and Generations are actually pretty good.

The main thing I don't like, personally, about this is that it would require whole new animations, the cars themselves to be created, and the such. Lots of work just for a PvP game, and one that doesn't use something already based on things in the Clockworks. (BN has, well, bombs, and LD has everything)
If what you're looking for here is a race, how about something like a game where all players have the Striker Boost and have to navigate a long path of dangers, looking for a speedrun?
Stages like Blackstone Bridge, except you're dashing through whatever you can to get to the end with a team, while the other team either runs on your course or has an identical track on the other side, joining at the end at an elevator/finish point where you'd, well, finish.
But hey, this is really just a random idea I'm throwing out there. Feel free to expand on it or whateves, but credit for the basic idea would be nice if you use it. :)

ok forteds, now explain the connection between chariot racing and mario kart.
also, what blade said. and Hex has an important part too.

As a matter of fact, All-Stars may get Spiral Knights eventually. Once they had a poll on who to include in the DLC, and Spiral Knights were one of them. If I remember right, SK were pretty popular but got completely outvoted by a couple of big time contenders. (But not by many...I think.)
However, for SK to get such a minigame wouldn't work. Racing simulators are difficult to create and are quite resource intensive. You usually only see a whole game dedicated to racing rather than a minigame.
(That being said...who wants to race on Giant Lichen Colonies?)

In addition to what Thunder had said, explain Blast Network. :3

Two of the monsters within the Clockworks have already proved capable kart racers in the past :)

Aw, linking that makes me want to add the pit brute to SK too...

Maybe some day. Right now the fiend family already has a giant (trojan), so we would have to ensure all other families have giants before making another fiend.

Wouldn't all families except for the traps already have giants? Jellies have the RJ and SQ, constructs have Lumbers and RT, Fiends have Trojans, Undead have dreadnaughts, and beasts have alphas!

Wow. That's a pretty sweet racing game for an browser game.

I believe Alphas and Lumbers are classified as Elites, not Giants. RT and RJ are bosses, and I don't know what you mean by SQ. Jellies have Giant Lichen Colonies, Toxilargos, and in theory Jelly Green Giant, Oiler Barons, and Toxilargos. Constructs have Battlepods and theoretically Tortodrones. Beasts and Gremlins still need a giant. (unless battlepods don't count, then constructs need one too!)

Alpha wolvers, lumbers and rock jellies are actually 'brutes.' We're hoping to add more of these in the future.

So the five classifications for a monster within a Family is: Boss, Elite, Giant, Brute and Trash Mob. Correct?

This is what I've come up with with the research I'm doing...
I believe it's: Boss, Giant, Brute, Elite, Footsoldier, Turret/Ranged, Underling. (what's a trash mob? o.O)
Ice Cubes, Mecha Knights, Greavers, Overtimers, (either Pit Bosses and Yesmen are Elites or Brutes, they seem to have the health of Brutes).
I thought Alpha Wolvers were in the Elite category, I didn't know there was a "Brute" category.
In Footsoldier goes Knocker, Wolver, Zombie
In Turret/Ranged goes Howlitzer, Gunpuppy, Polyp, then Scuttlebot, Devilite, Spookat
Underling contains Mini Jellies, Mini creep cakes, Shufflebots, and I assume the other minis as well.

Why does this sound fun...oh man I'm losing it. 9 years of pro gaming just to revert to Karting games. Kill me now.

I'm pretty sure turrets have more HP than scuttlebots... right?

A monster's class is determined by not only its health, but also the damage it deals.

From the arena page on the wiki: Theme Monster: A monster appropriate to the arena's monster and status themes, such as a Retrode in a Robo Rampage or Devilite in a Fiendish Fray. Does not overlap with any of the below.
Heavy: Lumber or Alpha Wolver (Alpha Wolvers seem to show up mostly in slime and beast arenas)
Turret: Gunpuppy, Polyp, or Howlitzer appropriate to the arena's status theme, or (less commonly) a Rocket Puppy. Turrets related to the arena's monster theme (e.g. Polyps in a slime arena) seem to be more likely, but are not guaranteed.
Healer: Silkwing or Gremlin Mender.
Fighter: Mecha Knights (Normal and appropriate status effect), Gremlin Thwackers, Gremlin Demos, or Gremlin Scorchers (Scorchers only seem to spawn in Flame Lash Arenas). Gremlins and Mecha Knights do not seem to mix within the same set, but exact types can.
Guardians: Trojans, Lichen Colonies, or Giant Lichen Colonies in T3.
Fighters are elites. guardians are giants. Heavy are brutes.

"Fighter: Mecha Knights (Normal and appropriate status effect), Gremlin Thwackers, Gremlin Demos, or Gremlin Scorchers (Scorchers only seem to spawn in Flame Lash Arenas). Gremlins and Mecha Knights do not seem to mix within the same set, but exact types can."
Apparently Nick called both Mecha Knights and Gremlin Thwackers "Elites", despite the fact they do the same damage as most other Fighters/Footsoldiers. I think that's because of the fact that they're superior in combat skills and variety to lesser monsters in their class, respectively Retrodes and Knockers.
I'm not sure if Demos and Scorchers are Elites as well. They might be, seeing as they have a variety of attacks and are difficult to deal with.
Although Spookats fall into the ranged class because of the damage they do (both their bullets and their bite attack do bullet damage) they're probably moved up a rank (into Footsoldiers) because of their superb mobility.
EDIT: It appears my classification of Ranged/Underling is "Support", and Footsoldiers is "Grunt".

/cue typical counter-point
I... I really don't know what to say.
Of all the things that Spiral Knights could use to make it a better game, a racing/Mario Kart-style mini-game is at the bottom, better yet, not even on the list.
I don't mean to discourage your ideas by any means, it's your opinion, it's also your right to express your wants and needs as does every other human being, but I don't want to see Spiral Knights' potential go to waste by having it become a collection of mini-games. There's plenty of players that have been setting up deck chairs in Vanaduke's Throne Room since 2011 waiting for new, challenging content; these people who are able to charge a Blitz in one hand and sip their Pina Colada from the other, all while letting out a repressed yawn. If the masses keep pushing enough spin-off/irrelevant ideas this game is almost guaranteed to transform into a kiddy magnet that excels in driving away every "veteran" player interested in what Spiral Knights 'could' have been.
All the while I wonder if Forteds is a SEGA Investor looking to turn Spiral Knights into "Mario Knights: Revenge of the Tortodrones" that gets ported to WiiU because SK's core fanbase all but dwindling.
#illuminaticonspiracy

Sorry I seemed to have derailed things here. But to answer some questions, the internal classification we use for monsters includes grunt, brute, elite, turret, support, drone and giant. There are other special ones too of course, such as boss.
The class names really don't factor into the player experience and it will likely stay that way. But we use them for communicating level design while being monster family/status condition agnostic.

Nick, could you read....
http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/80453
Thanks.

I kinda actually came up with this idea a while ago. (But I didn't post it)
The idea would be that your kart would have a different appearance and stats depending on your gear.
Helm = Windshield and roof
Armour = Body
Shield = Wheels
As for weapons, they will basically lie in a unusable state unless you pick up a powerup that temporarily unlocks the power for you.
Swords are automatically activated should an opponent come to close
Guns and bombs have limited ammo.
Annnnnndddd.... that's my thought on racing in SK. Thanks for your time. :)
Fact: When a game or game franchise is in its death throes, it releases either a Kart racing game or a rythym/dance game. SK is not dead yet.
...plus, it doesn't really fit with the theme of the game. There aren't even any wheels on Cradle. And no, gears don't count.