Mission: The Pioneers - Needs comma, and exclamation point!
jeu, 02/09/2012 - 23:14
Kora's dialog has a sentence which reads:
"Heck, they survived the Skylark going down after all."
There should be a comma after down, and the tone of the sentence suggests that it should probably end with an exclamation point, more like:
"Heck, they survived the Skylark going down, after all!"
jeu, 02/09/2012 - 23:34
#2
A LOT of the dialogue lacks
A LOT of the dialogue lacks commas... I've stopped keeping track XD
I think the latter clashes with Kora's personality, well what little we know about her. I think the original gives off a more glib vibe while the latter makes it sound almost cheery.