I'm not gonna post this in the sticky poetry thread because it's kinda long.
Anyway, I made this with the help of a few friends I told this one to before posting it here. Thank you guys, and for the rest of you, enjoy at your discretion.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout the town,
Strangers and Knights were all settling down.
The jolly red jelly had shouted, "Take care!"
as he GLORP'ed out of Haven and into the air.

Knights in their bedrolls were sleeping with joy
as they dreamed of large boxes of shiny new toys
The Lounge of the lizards had, too, gone to bed
in the hopes that their bad-ness would get them well-fed.
The charred Citadel was devoid of fire
As (just this once) Vanaduke stifled his ire.
A Snarbolax pack had met up in the woods
And together they stayed, as family should.

But one group. Just one group, did not share the joy.
Did not go to bed and did not wish for toys.
The grouches of Krampus. The grinchlins, they say,
Despised all things festive; the whole holiday.
They knew they'd been bad, and they'd keep getting badder
As they climbed down their mountain with pick, rope, and ladder.

These Gremlins were out to destroy christmas cheer.
The lights hurt their eyes, and the carols, their ears.
They grumbled and griped as they trudged through the snow,
Mumbling expletives at Haven below.

Their gags were all ready; they'd brought lumps of coal,
spoiled confections, and vile, putrid snow.
For special offenses, they'd locate some gifts,
then drop them in stockings with bottomless rifts.
They'd wrap up a present with un-tearing folds
(That present can never be opened, it's told).
Lastly, they'd pull out a sharp razor strand,
and then fashion ribbons, to cut up some hands.

They snuck into Guilds; not a sole Knight awoke
as presents they ruined with their mean, grinchy jokes.
They tirelessly toiled, taking care in their work
As quality pranking could not be shirked.

Cackling, they left at the rise of the sun.
They'd messed up the party; the foul deed was done.
Though the Snipes were all cheerful and lights all aglow,
Wherever you looked, you could see yellow snow.
They climbed back up Krampus, with mischeivous glee,
And procured a spyglass, to look on travesty.
Lying prone on a cliff, they gazed over the town
and started to wait for sunrise's countdown.

They waited and watched; the prank slowed to a crawl
But oddly, the Knights wouldn't exit their Halls.
They couldn't be found after hours had gone.
The Grinchlins of Krampus were stifling yawns.
Was Winterfest ruined? It was quite hard to tell.
They couldn't hear crying, or even a yell.

They soon became bored, and wished to be done.
But as they stood up, they heard the click of a gun.
They spun around, startled, and came face-to-face
With a great multitude of the Isoran Race.
Many held snowballs, a few wielded guns
But one Knight had brought a large club to the fun:
Their eyes widened, astounded. They must be delirious:
The great Rocket Hammer of Warmaster Seerus.

They panicked a little, and got off the floor,
but before they could run, the Knight shouted, "Fore!"
The foul Grinchlins were, now, quite taken aback
as the War Hammer sung a resounding ker-thwack
As he swung, the Knight's eyed were filled with black glee,
as one by one the foul Grinchlins were made history.
They flew into the sky and they flew out of sight,
But regretting nothing for all of that flight.
They'd set up fierce paths to their cold, icy door
and Krampus would then be a mountain of war
However, for now, they had nothing to show
As their legion had face-planted into the snow.

With the saboteurs gone from the Mount for the year,
The Knights of the Order had nothing to fear.
As the Grinchlins' dark magic faded away,
the Bottomless Stockings spit up their prey.
The Gift Wrap was torn and the Ribbons were dulled,
and the pungent taste of the Spoiled Treats was soon culled.
Knights came and washed the bad snow all away
and a new blanket fell upon Haven that day.

~end~