Put amusing yet pointless weapons in prize boxes

I would like to purchase the following weapons through unboxing them:
-Big angry bomb, but to where the knockback is turned 90 degrees a la wrench wand projectile
-A haze bomb that deals minor fire and minor freeze at the same time aka dropping shiver + ash at the same time
-A tortofist that shoots 1 big angry bomb instead of the little shard projectiles
-Fang of vog, but with all the statuses possible to receive/deal at once
-Sudaruska, but with big angry bomb's knockback on the 2nd hit, and slowed down massively
-Valiance, but the bullet is shot backwards instead of forwards. Model would be valiance facing the wrong way.

I'd like to make a proposal
EDIT: I'd also like to make another proposal: A gun with the "fiend portal" texture that shoots office junk
EDIT: crap .avi files aren't viewable on ios, i'll try to fix it later

The "Mortablitz" can be elemental damage and have knockback on normal shots, that'd be awesome. Also I'd like to know how you made the red laser with the magnus, would help in aiming with it a lot.
- A six-sided die, about the size of the Nitronome, that has a chance of detonating as any 5* bomb in the game, exactly which one is selected at random when the bomb is placed.