This is my first time making a story, please point out any mistakes and tell me sugestions that could make this better.
I was surrounded by jiggling pink cubes. I felt tears trickling out of the corners of my eyes as I closed them. Why did this happen to me? As the ship was crashing, my mother told me "Rinnow, if you meet a dangerous creature out there, run. Don't hesitate, just run. I will see you soon." and then she went into her escape pod. When my escape pod hit dirt, by the time I got out, I was surrounded by these strange creatures. I clutched the steel sword wrapped with strips of paper tight to my chest. Even though my father had given this to me for protection on the expedition, I still didn't know how to use it. Then I heard a thick shulck. I opened my eyes. What I saw was a woman with a gleaming set of armor and a flaming rapier. Around her were splotches of pink on the ground.
"You okay kid?"
"Um, uh..."
"What's your name?"
"Uh, Rinnow..."
"Hm. You may call me captain, I'm a vanguard."
She threw a pile of clothing down at me. "Put it on."she commanded. It was a flak jacket and a round helm.
"Well? Come on! We have to get you to Haven!"
"Uh.. what?"
"It's a little... town, you could say, that residents of this planet have set up."
With that, I followed her wordlessly over the bridge, leading to Haven.
As we walked she gave me some tips on how to use my sword. I was half listening and half looking around the vast cavern when I tripped on something. "Ow!" I looked down as captain kept walking. It was a blue glowing...artifact? It was small and had a little rope to hang it over my neck. After a moment, I put it on and rushed to catch up. The captain was carelessly slaying any monster that came in our way at the same time she was giving me tips. Soon we were in a bigger room. As we stepped inside, metal bars closed behind us. We both looked back in alarm. A dog-like creature stepped in front of us.
"Damn, a Gremlin."
"A what?"
"Give me the artifact!" the gremlin snarled.
"No, I refuse."
Captain took out a gun and shot him dead. "Ugh..." the gremlin moaned. I just stared at the captain. Was that how that was supposed to happen? I thought. My hand went to the artifact around my neck, which is pretty much non-existing in this game. If the gremlins wanted this, it must be important. Then I jumped back as a robotic dog popped up in front of me. I waited for the captain to kill it when it shot at me. I felt a burning pain in my abdomen. I looked back at the captain. She just smiled and said "I'll let you handle this one, you have a 3 star weapon, you'll be fine." My mouth hang open as I processed this. Then I saw the bullets coming again and I rolled out of the way. "Oh crap." I said. It rotated and shot another round at me as I raised my sword and blocked it. I slid under the next round and brought myself up with another roll. I shouted "Shock!" as I stabed my sword at the ground next to the turret. 4 pieces of the paper peeld off and glowed bright light blue. I smelled ozone as the turret shuddered, and then blew up. How did I know how to do that? The captain whistled. "I knew you could handle a gun puppy. Let's go, Haven is right up ahead. We walked toward a elevator. Once we were on, the captain motioned upward as blue light streamed out of both our armor. The elevator shot upward! Once we were up at the surface, I was blinded for a few seconds but when my eyes adjusted, I saw a beautiful fountain with a large building near the front of the square. And it was all in flames. "Oh no." The captain said. "It's Lord Vanaduke."
Your story is written well and and is gripping. It just lacks better wording, maybe a little more detail would be nice too. One example of detail could be the sword (which I assume is a shockburst brandish). Take your time and pretend like you are writing to people that don't play spiral knights and know nothing about it, I feel like I did a little more wondering than I should have while reading your story. Every story should have something in it that makes the reader think, but what you did is make it hard for me to create a visual picture. It's sort of like seeing something out of my peripheral vision, the picture is just as sharp as what my focus is on yet I still can't make out what it is. Also, I'm not sure if you did this on purpose or not, but you said haven was set up by knights that crashed on cradle from escape pods. What you described was the rescue camp. Haven was already there when the skylark crashed and it was inhabited by the strangers when we got there, though the strangers were kind enough to let us take refuge in their little town. So basically that and just slow down, events happen too fast. Read the writing of other writers and learn from what you read, that's what I do. Otherwise keep up the good work and I'll be waiting for the next chapter hopefully containing your exciting journey through the burning town, battle with Vanaduke's defenses, and eventually your encounter with the King of Ashes himself.