A skolver clones guide to lockdown
dim, 11/18/2012 - 10:09
This is a basic guide to lockdown for skolver clones out there! yep, the ones who are bashing your face off and repeatdly kicking your ***
Before you enter a match, make sure you have your clone equipment! Skolver coat and helm, toothpick with a very high ASI on it, 2 penta heart trinkets, and any gun sure to **** anyone in your path
At the start of a match, always make sure that everyone can see you. When people see your clone armor, they will think"hooray! another rich mitt romney guy thats going to dominate me!"
Also, make sure to scream at anyone who is t2 or lower! And when they suddenly switch to t3 armor, go "OH! I knew that!"
When the game begins, always go striker! You want to do this because the penalty of the striker class doesnt matter to you! you're a rich skolver clone! you can do whatever the **** you want! This makes the striker class more overpowered. Remember, more power, more rights to be so very humble!
When the gates open, go directly to the team base! Leave it to your loser teamates to do the capping! Get to their base and own their *****. And when they start whining, say "ha noobs!" Just kill anyone and occasionally cap points whenever everyones dead. which fortunately never happends
If for some reason, you die during the match(noob!), immediately call your killer a AA noob, becase we all know that AA really matters and s SO UNFAIR! Then, just target them the whole match
When everyone is in their base, just wait outside, And when they come out, just kill them with your toothpick! It only takes 3 seconds w=because your ASI flourish + striker boost is like PB and J. This makes gameplay boring, but who cares! As long as you are owning, nothing matters!
When the game ends, make sure to criticize anyone who has bad stats! Because stats tell everything about someones performance. Also, be humble about your items. you dont want people to think of you as a douche! even though that's what you are! Tell players to suck it up and leave the game.
And thats how you be a skolver clone in lockdown. Happy trolling!
dim, 11/18/2012 - 10:14
#2
I KNEW THAT. ok ill change it
I KNEW THAT. ok ill change it
dim, 11/18/2012 - 10:15
#3
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How dare you bring knowledge into a stompy-foot rage thread, Thrillhaus. Shame on you.
dim, 11/18/2012 - 10:31
#4
+1
For the humour of the OP.
dim, 11/18/2012 - 10:57
#5
Sounds like you've had some
Sounds like you've had some bad experience with Skolvers. :P
Btw, lol@rich mitt romney guy
dim, 11/18/2012 - 10:58
#6
Thank u so much
Thank u so much for this. I never would have thought my problem was that I wasn't rich
dim, 11/18/2012 - 11:38
#7
I need to do this. I'm
I need to do this. I'm failing skolver part, because I have full wolver, and I'm failing rich, because I have nearly no crowns and have no CE.
dim, 11/18/2012 - 14:13
#8
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no mention of gf/da? you can just dash up to people and full combo and kill them like a pro!
dim, 11/18/2012 - 14:19
#9
That gave me a good laugh
You should write a book. U_U
dim, 11/18/2012 - 16:01
#10
shame on you...
You forgot to mention Polaris spam as well. That's like... the only ranged option in Lockdown EVAR!
dim, 11/18/2012 - 16:33
#11
--
Oh my god, im a skolver clone, and after reading this, I totally feel like killing myself because im such a terrible lockdown player.
Good bye everyone, Ill see the other skolver clones on the other side.
dim, 11/18/2012 - 16:55
#12
Well, I saw this coming when I saw the name of this thread.
dim, 11/18/2012 - 16:55
#13
Oh god.
oh god oh god dog ho oh god
FUU-
/e strips off skolver clothings
/e wears a magically milky pink fur coat and dashing milky pink chapeau of rose regalia
/e makes all the people jelly
BUTCHY PLEASE IM FABULOUS
dim, 11/18/2012 - 17:00
#14
I don't use skolver. I use OP 6* wolver. LOL SKOLVER NOOBS!111!!
(sarcasm)
dim, 11/18/2012 - 17:29
#15
You forgot to mention Polaris
You forgot to mention Polaris spam as well. That's like... the only ranged option in Lockdown EVAR!
In fact, in some matches, especially in GvG (Hinthint) I can think of certain groups of Skolver clones who use nothing but Polaris.
Odd, considering the fact that they'd win faster if they wore gunner gear due to the sheer overuse of the gun, but I guess using Skolver is like a fashion statement or something.
lun, 11/19/2012 - 02:00
#16
Pew pew pew.
"In fact, in some matches, especially in GvG (Hinthint) I can think of certain groups of Skolver clones who use nothing but Polaris."
I always thought it was a part of the standard clone setup. As soon as they reach a base, they all draw their glorified Polarises and fire away like no tomorrow!
"Ain't no one gonna get past this chokepoint with more than 50 % health! Ain't no one!"
lun, 11/19/2012 - 02:48
#17
I'm surprised I didn't read
I'm surprised I didn't read anything about spam in there.
lun, 11/19/2012 - 06:52
#18
Argh, Polaris. Stupid Shock. Stupid Shock ruining everything.
...of course, I have a Gigawatt Pulsar, so I'm not one to talk. Just keep in mind, there are even better ways to hold down a chokepoint.
/e pats VT on the head.
/e calls for a medic because his hand is now fried.
mar, 11/20/2012 - 04:23
#19
I'm Mitt Romney and I approve
I'm Mitt Romney and I approve this message.
mar, 11/20/2012 - 04:40
#20
Processing Thoughts of You Always
Screw you guys with your Gran Faust I have Shadowsun D<
Skolver strikers don't bomb (Charge Time Increase: Very High), and they wouldn't use shiver of all things.