Step 1: Take C42's special poison/fire Polyp
Step 2: Frontal shield
Step 3: Replace bullets with valiance charges
Step 4: Allow the turret to be knocked around with knockback
Step 5: When dead, turret becomes tortodrone
Step 6: Turret resurrects undead in a radius
Step 7: Turret can be picked up like totem
Step 8: Turret is 4x size
Step 9: Turret is immune to all damage types
Step 10: Turret can be killed with fire
Step 11: Turret has 1 HP
Step 12: Turret is a rare encounter that spawns in place of glop drop clusters