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The Legend of the Core (Fan-fic, Rated Teen and Up)

27 replies [Last post]
Thu, 05/22/2014 - 11:41
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario

Important: This is not an RP, I will not be accepting apps either. There are some things in this story which are not based on spiral knights so, don't start with any bullying. If you think there is anything that you like or dislike, write below the chapter if you want.

New changes to Haven: There is a cafe, a hospital, some more vendors for herbs, spices, etc. Health pills, remedy pills and other items normally dropped or found in the clockworks don't exist anymore unless they are crafted. Starvation and dehydration are new and require food or liquids in the respectable order. New crafting machines for food and water and other consumables are also found throughout the entire clockworks.

Prologue: "The year is 2099 and we are still stuck on Cradle, we haven't found anyway to open or unlock the core. We have been trying for 10 years but so far, we have had no luck. Lord Vanaduke or as some jerks call him "Lord Vanaduck" keeps resurrecting himself every week and always causes trouble. We have no luck and the knights above struggle with his constant battles."

"I should introduce myself, my name is Vaelyn. Me and all the other technicians have tried everything and the core still won't open. We have been exposed to the energy around the core for so long that it doesn't affect us anymore. We only hope that the knights above the core can find clues to help uncover how to open the core."

"During the long stay here, we often get one months worth of supplies at the start of every month and during the entire 10 years of trying to open the core, we have only lost one soul and it wasn't a pleasant way to die. The knight technician managed to get behind the broken lift and started to climb down to the core, seeing if there was anyway to open it but half-way down, he fell and we saw as he fell to his death and... urgh..."

"Vaelyn, we have detected the dark creature's outline that is inside the core but we can't tell what it looks like." Vaelyn rushed over and looked at the shape "Hm, it doesn't look like it can be anything except for a construct due to the shape but I can be.... wrong..." The technician noticed that Vaelyn fell asleep and thought "We should let Vaelyn sleep, she gets the less sleep anyways." The technician saved the picture and sent it to the Spiral HQ in Haven so they can look at it."

((OOC: The prologue here is to set the scene, the main characters are appearing in the next chapter.))

Thu, 05/22/2014 - 16:00
#1
Colray's picture
Colray
I like

I will be watching for more story.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:15
#2
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
Chapter 1

The Spiral HQ in Haven received a new picture from Vaelyn's squad and looked at it, Captain Oslo said "This might be a way to enter the core." Just then, a call came from depth 29 and Oslo accepted it and the Technician from Depth 29 said "The picture shows what the dark creature looks like but, we are no closer to opening the core." Captain Oslo sighed and then noticed something odd on the picture and said "Wait, was there spots around the picture when you saved it Technician?" The Technician said "What spots?" Captain Oslo looked and the spots looked like they where showing a location to go to.

The Technician then said "Need to go, everyone is starting to get tired now..." Captain Oslo closed the call and then started to figure out if they where to locate a location. After an hour, 2 knights walked in and said "Any other missions we need to do Oslo?" Captain Oslo turned around and said "No but, we might have found a new location for you... wait, where is your other partner?"

The 2 knights looked around and the leader sighed and said "Why is she always so late?" The other knight looked at the leader and said "Redley, you know how she is, she is often late. Just, get calm, I know you hate when people are late but there is no need to get angry." Redley took in a deep breath and said to Oslo "You said something about a new location?"

Captain Oslo looked around and said "Might as well start then, we have received a picture from Depth 29 which showed the dark creatures shape which is hiding in the core but we had something wrong and we found a new location from empty spots." Captain Oslo stopped when he saw a female knight running in, looking exhausted. The female knight said "S-sorry I am late, got stuck with a scared knight in Candlestick Keep..."

Redley turned around and said "Rose, how? How did you enter Candlestick Keep in the first place?" Rose took in a breath and said "As you two where going up, I got a new mission and before I could tell you two, it was too late and I had to go through it alone." Redley then said "Yeah, I doubt that, you don't get a mission during a mission Rose, TELL US THE TRUTH!"

Rose moved back a bit and said in protest "I-It's the truth..." Redley looked like he was going to explode in rage when Barrus, the assistant to Captain Oslo walked in and said "Redley, don't get angry. It was my fault that I sent the mission to her." Redley took in deep breaths to calm down. Redley then looked at Gavin who told him not to get angry and just sighed.

Gavin was used to the anger of Redley and the lateness of Rose. Oslo then said "If I can continue, we have found out the location is on depth 20 in a wolver's den. You 3 might have already been through that wolver's den but maybe not. Anyways, he is the precise location, look around and see if you can find any new clues, if this is a way to open the core, we might be able to leave this planet."

Redley picked up the map holding the location and knew where it was, they had been through that wolver's den before. "Well, this shouldn't be too hard." Barrus walked over to Rose and asked her to give the prestige badge back. Rose gave it back and then was given the highest ranked prestige badge and said "Well done Rose, you have done so much to get this badge, keep the good work up!"

Rose smiled a bit but lost a bit when she heard Redley's muttered voice saying "A new badge for what? Being late. That seems legit(!)" Gavin just could not understand how the team wasn't split apart due to the arguments between Rose and Redley. Sometimes even Gavin got involved for no reason.
-----------------------
Depth ???

"Drat! They found the first location to unlocking the core, it is good because I can escape after killing the foes that enter but, I am not ready yet. I need to make sure the guards at the locations can do and delay them or even kill them." The creature opened a talk portal to the creature on Depth 20 and said "Lord Brown, are you there?"

After a minute, there was a reply and said "Yes?"

"Listen, the path to unlocking the core has somehow been revealed by those pesky knights, you might need to prepare to attack"

"I need to prepare my guards to attack them but they obey me without a problem."

"Yes, that's thanks to me! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here right now!"

"I still thank you for it but anyways, I need to prepare but I have encounter a problem with another creature, similar to you."

"Another dark creature? That can't be, what did it look like?"

"The dark creature looked like a knight at first until it attacked. The dark creature is also looking for a knight as well."

"Another knight? I wonder why this creature would want one knight?"

"I don't know but, need to go if I want to be prepared in time, bye Creator Vol"

Vol, the dark creature in the core started to rest, trying to recover his remaining energy.

((OOC: This took way longer than it should have... anyways, first chapter is done now."

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:37
#3
Colray's picture
Colray
I like

Vol seems like a good enemy.

Are Redley, Rose, and Gavin the main team? Or am I missing someone.

Sat, 05/24/2014 - 11:42
#4
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
@Colray

Yes, Redley, Rose and Gavin are in the main team but, it's 3/4 so that means, one more character might be joining them later on.

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 01:47
#5
Robo-Drilldigger's picture
Robo-Drilldigger
So...

Can't find any loopholes yet due to the "some things are not based on spiral knights" so...

But anyways, this is what I can tell

Redley is the leader but has a short fuse due to Rose always been late.

Rose is the only female in the party and is always late but the reason isn't shown yet with the exception of the recent one.

Gavin seems to be the calm minded one, who is patient and knows how to try and calm down Redley.

Then it's the current villains...

Vol seems to be the dangerous creature who is lack some power currently and seems to have allies to help him slow down enemies.

Finally is Lord Brown. Lord Brown is pretty much unknown except for the depth...

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 13:27
#6
Colray's picture
Colray
...

So you're trying to dig up something that's unoriginal? That's kinda low, especially since you pretty much have only called out Creeperlucario on this.

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 14:41
#7
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
Chapter 2

Depth 0: Haven

Redley, Rose and Gavin walked out of the Spiral HQ when Redley said "Right, we will go in 10 minutes, we just need to prepare and Rose, DO NOT BE LATE!" Rose and Redley walked in opposite directions to prepare but Gavin was already prepared. Gavin sighed as he started to walk towards the arcade and thought "I am still surprised that we haven't been split apart. Redley is like a ticking time bomb and Rose, while she is smart, she is just late..."

Gavin waited in the arcade and saw Rose come back before Redley for once and Rose said "That's odd, where is Redley?" Gavin had no clue but then saw Redley coming across and then said "Well, at least you are here on time Rose. Let's hurry to the location now." The 3 knights step onto the lift and Redley pushed the button to depth 20.

Depth 20: Wolver's Den

When the lift stopped, Redley suggested to split up to look for the location on the depth but to stay in-range should something bad happen. They split up and started to explore with Redley being the sword wielder with both Gavin and Rose being gunslingers. During the entire exploration, they had to defeat a bunch of wolver's who re-entered the area.

Meanwhile, on the same depth

"Hm... They have reached the depth. Guards, get ready to ambush them, you need to take each of them out one at a time but, don't kill them... yet. The guards chuckled and said "Got you boss!" The guards scattered throughout the depth and aimed for the leader Redley first. The guards to Lord Brown sneaked throughout the entire area and then reached him.

Redley had just killed a wolver when he was suddenly stabbed in the back which made Redley jump a bit. Redley turned around with pain and saw 2 creatures with dark looking armor. As Redley was going to shout for help, another dark creature covered his mouth and then the other 2 swiftly harmed him enough to make him faint for a while. The dark creatures quickly and quietly muttered to themselves as they tied Redley up.

Gavin looked around for the new location when he saw a lone and injured wolver lying on the ground. Gavin moved closely to the wolver and started to bandage it up. After he bandaged the injured wolver, he gave it a bit of food to get it's strength back and the wolver took it in a thankful movement before walking away.

As Gavin was going to step up, he was knocked back down and then he felt his hands being tied up as he yelled "Redley! Rose! I need help here!" Gavin couldn't say anymore after that as he his mouth was now gagged and then they hit him until he fainted. Before the creatures could escape, Rose shouted "HEY! LEAVE MY TEAM ALONE!"

Rose shot 6 bullets out of her Argent Peacemaker and managed to wound one of the creatures but failed to hit the others. Rose thought "Geez, these creatures are fast, even faster than wolver's. Rose sensed an attack and quickly turned around and shot a bullet into another one of the creatures but was quickly stopped by the others.

Rose managed to struggle against the creatures and the 2 injured creatures shouted "STOP MOVING!" Rose didn't stop moving though and managed to flick her gun into her bound hands and managed to click the trigger and injured another one. Rose kept struggling until the creatures finally made her faint.

The creatures then said "Finally! Geez, that was easy until the girl got into the road. Now, let's carry them into Lord Brown's lair." One injured and one fine creature walked to each knight and carried their fainted bodies into the lair. After they got the knight's into the lair, Lord Brown throw a pale of water onto them and they started to wake up.

Rose saw the creatures and said "You! Why did you lot have to tie us up? We could have made an agreement!" Rose then realized where she was and knew this was the new location they where looking for. Lord Brown walked to Rose and knelt down and said "Why is a loud headed, stupid girl like you even in this team?"

Rose kept her calm and looked at the creature in front of her. The creature looked like a lumber but it was lacking any metal and it only had one eye, similar to the swarm. The creature stepped up and said "You lot don't know me but I am called Lord Brown. As you know, you where knocked out by my 6 dark guards. As for now, we have all your weapons."

Rose was really annoyed now, she was getting annoyed due to the fact the creature called her stupid and a hot-headed loud girl and due to the fact that the weapons where gone as well. Redley just took in deep breaths so he didn't burst into severe anger. Lord Brown walked back into a secret room and said to the 6 guards "Keep an eye on them!"

The door was closed as the guards said "What do you think he's going to do huh? I don't know but, I hope he asks us to kill them! Nah, I want to see them starve. I don't really want to kill them, I kind of want to keep them as pets. Pets? That's stupid, let nature kill them!" Gavin tried to speak but couldn't due to his gag.

Meanwhile in the secret room

"Let's see, what to do about them..." Lord Brown looked around and considered his options. "If I kill them, there won't be a problem for now but, more knights might come back. I could try and find out about the 3 of them and reveal the information." Lord Brown walked back into the main room and started to pull Gavin into the secret room and said "Keep them quiet, gag the leader and that stupid girl!"

Brown pulled off Gavin's gag and said "Right, tell me all you know about yourself and your allies. If you do, I will kill you last." Gavin sighed, he had basically no option because, if he never told him, he would die first plus, he would delay them which might bring more knights to rescue them.

"Right then... you see, out of the 3 of us, I am the calmest and got the most patience. Redley is somewhat like a ticking time bomb. If he gets into a rage, he is an unstoppable force but..."

"But? Kept on going!"

"But... he sometimes hits Rose, his own ally but he never aims at me despite the lack of seeing. I don't know why. As for Rose, she is the smartest of all of us and often does here best. The only problem being... she is late."

"Lateness, that is a problem, but not for us! Keep spilling the beans!"

"I... I... I think that Rose and Redley might have been in a relationship before I joined the team. I am not too sure about that though..."

"Very well, I will send you back to your "Team" and I will be back in a bit to kill you lot."

2 Dark Guards grabbed Gavin and placed him back into the room with the other knights. Lord Brown told Creator Vol what he was told and Vol said "Great news, thanks for telling me should you somehow mess this up!"

"How will I mess this up?"

"I know what happens, sometimes things can go from prefect to a horrible failure in a split second. Keep an eye on the knights as you kill them! I need to sleep now..."

The portal closed for now and then the door to the 3 knights saw Lord Brown walking out with his eye looking darker, ready to kill!

Sun, 05/25/2014 - 14:45
#8
Robo-Drilldigger's picture
Robo-Drilldigger
Bleh!

@Colray: I don't know what you are talking about

@Creeper: Good, good but you ruined some of the suspense by giving away all the character's descriptions but the ending is making me think "What's going to happen next chapter and what was with that other Dark Creature similar to Vol in the first chapter."

Tue, 05/27/2014 - 08:00
#9
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
Chapter 3

"Let's see, I am on depth 20 and I need to look for the knights who might already be at that location." The mysterious knight quietly walked around and pulled out a Divine Leviathan Blade with all the shininess of the Divine Avenger and the power of the Leviathan Blade. As the knight was walking around, she saw a bandaged wolver, worried about something.

The knight walked over and barked "Woof, wo-oof? (What's wrong?)" The wolver replied "Wrr, woof, woo, woof! (The knight that bandaged me got caught, I can take you there but, the enemies are strong.)" The knight nodded and gave it a bit of food. The wolver picked it up and showed the mysterious knight where to go.

The knight and wolver saw the entrance to Lord Brown's lair and the wolver bailed out because it was already injured. The knight looked inside and saw 3 knights tied up and thought "Those... those are the knights I need to help." The mysterious knight charged her Divine Leviathan Blade and rushed in and Lord Brown turned around and said "Wow, another knight? This should be easy."

Lord Brown and the 6 guards rushed towards the mysterious knight. The knight released her charge and shouted just as she was about to be attacked "Spiral Strike!" The weapon glowed furiously and the knight and blade started to spin around fast. The guards got pushed back and where severely injured. Lord Brown got pushed back and shouted "That power! Is that a... Oh no, IT IS! Guards, be careful, that knight wields an Ancient Weapon!"

The knight didn't bother reacting to the shouts and then stopped spinning around to cut free Rose and Redley. As the knight was going to cut Gavin free, Lord Brown grabbed him and threw him into a corner, harming him. Rose run into the secret room and grabbed the weapons that where taking off them.

Redley also run in and grabbed his weapons and run back out, ready to deal with the dark guards. Rose and Redley dealt with the 3 fine Dark Guards and the mysterious knight had to deal with Lord Brown and the injured dark guards. Rose noticed that Gavin's rope was very weak and one fine shot would free him. Rose took her aim carefully and shot the rope.

Gavin managed to get out and run towards the room to grab his weapons. Lord Brown shouted "How did this go so wrong?!?!" Lord Brown jumped back and his eye started to glow in pure darkness. Lord Brown's claws also started to get longer and he started to get a bit faster. Lord Brown dashed back into the knight that caused all this problem and slashed at the knight.

The knight saw it coming and pulled her shield up at the last second and pushed Lord Brown back to deal with the guards. Rose, Redley and Gavin where still dealing with the 3 fine dark guards and then they heard Lord Brown saying "Guards, give them no mercy! Kill them!" The guards started to speed up and slashed at Rose.

Rose yelled in pain and covered her arm to slow down the bleeding but the guards took this as their advantage to kill her but was stopped by the mysterious knight who finished off the other weakened dark guards. The remaining guards and Lord Brown all rushed the knight and managed to break through the shield and a feminine scream could be heard. Redley run behind Lord Brown and released a full Barbarous Thorn Blade charge and it made Lord Brown get pushed into the wall.

Gavin went over to Rose and started to bandage her cut up and when it was done, he started to shot at the remaining guards and successfully killed one of the remaining ones. Lord Brown jumped back and closed his eye and he started flashing. He was flashing because he was healing himself up as the remainder of the dark guards where slowly dying.

The dark guards slashed at the mysterious knight but they missed and where then swiftly killed by Redley. After the last guard was killed, Lord Brown's eye opened up and his entire body turned from brown into purple. He was getting so weak now but his body became full of poison due to the last guard dying and his body's last defense activated.

Lord Brown released a powerful roar at the 4 knights and then bull rushed them. Everyone dodged it but wasn't expecting the second charge straight away. Rose was the one he aimed for but the mysterious knight who basically rescued them took the blow and was knocked into a wall. The knight struggled to get up and swallowed a remedy pill.

Lord Brown was really angry now and said "Enough of this nonsense!" He started to charge his eye up for a laser blast and it was aimed at the mysterious knight. Redley rushed in front of the knight and pulled up his Barbarous Thorn Blade to block it and Lord Brown chuckled. Rose and Gavin where busy shooting at Lord Brown but they both got kicked back.

"Time to finish this, TAKE THIS!" Lord Brown launched the laser blast and it hit Redley's blade and it flew out of his hand and got stuck into the wall. The remaining energy hit Redley and he landed on the ground, in pain. The mysterious knight looked at the creature with her Divine Leviathan Blade out and started to charge it up.

"You, you are the reason this entire plan has gone downhill! For that reason, I am going to kill you first before I kill the other 2 noble males and the stupid female." Lord Brown charged at the knight but Rose couldn't hold back her anger for any longer and shot out a fully charged Argent Peacemaker clip and the owl at the end pierced through him.

Lord Brown turned around in pain but charged at Rose. He made a mistake though and the mysterious knight unleashed her charged blast again and managed to defeat Lord Brown. Before Lord Brown died, he said "You... you lot are making a *Cough* a horrible mistake..." Lord Brown's eye faded out and then disappeared.

Rose and Gavin rushed over to Redley who took a severe blow but the mysterious knight already healed him up. Rose wondered why this random knight would help them but, she is grateful for it though. Rose said to the mysterious knight "Thanks for helping us but, I have a few questions to ask you such as, who are you?"

The knight replied "I am a Vanguard ranked knight called Genevra"

"Genevra? I haven't ever seen a Vanguard knight called Genevra before but, why did you help us."

"I helped you out because you looked like you where in severe trouble."

"I can figure that out but, how did you know where we were?"

"I saw a bandaged wolver who took me here."

Gavin said "That was me who bandaged that wolver, so... It kind of was a good thing that I healed it up a bit."

Rose continued on and said "I heard Lord Brown saying you had an Ancient Weapon, how did you get it?"

Genevra gulped and said "I found it deep inside the Gremlin fortress, even deeper past Seerus war chair."

Rose could tell there was some things that didn't make sense. She never heard of a knight named Genevra and the Seerus mission was only exclusive to the team. Rose needed to think, should they allow "Genevra" into the party?

Tue, 05/27/2014 - 07:35
#10
Feline-Grenadier's picture
Feline-Grenadier
Wow...

Talk about improvement in your writing...

Some periods and commas are needed, and a little variation on words also, but you're doing pretty well from what I'm seeing.

Tue, 05/27/2014 - 14:37
#11
Ironic-Biscuit's picture
Ironic-Biscuit
Eh...

decent. You have come a long way, CreeperLovePuppy, or whatever you call yourself these days.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 09:00
#12
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
Chapter 4

Gavin helped Redley up and then suggested "I think we should get something to eat." Everyone agreed to that and Rose handed out bread to everyone except to Genevra who she still didn't trust. Genevra noticed the hate and walked back and investigated the room where Rose and Redley when to get there weapons and pulled out a few carrots and ate them.

As Genevra was eating the carrots, she saw something at the very end of the room and it looked like a clue. Genevra shouted "I think I found something that might be useful!" Rose run to the location first to make sure it wasn't a trick and then Gavin and Redley where behind. Rose looked at the clue and the text underneath looked like ancient Almirian code.

Thankfully, Rose had read up on how to read Almirian Code and started to read it. "Welcome strong knight(s), you have found the start of unlocking the core. Be warned though, once you unlock the core, be prepared to make the dark creature inside deceased. Now that warning is done, the next location is..."

Rose shivered at the location and Genevra noticed the worry and said "This doesn't look good, just tell us though, where is the location?" Rose gave a bit of an angry look at Genevra before saying "...is... on depth 28." Rose gulped before Gavin mentioned "That can't be right, depth 28 is Lord Vanaduke's lair unless... The Sanctuary!"

Redley walked back and turned around to face away from the group. The Sanctuary frightened him because of the way to reach it. Redley's mind flashed back to the day of the first time he entered the Sanctuary

("At last, we made it." The 4 knights walked around the floor and picked up a nightmare mane. "This looks like a unique item but... why am I getting a bad feeling?" A swarm lumber walked towards the team who where busy looked at the water and knocked them all off the edge except Redley. Redley got severely cut and barely escaped alive.)

Redley sighed before saying "You see, I have actually been in the Sanctuary before but... there was no... no..." Redley held himself back to stop crying but was struggling. Genevra noticed the sudden quietness of Redley and said "You don't need to tell us if it pains you or makes you depressed." Gavin was looked around and noticed the darkness outside and said "It's getting dark outside, we should get some sleep for tomorrow. The Sanctuary will be hard to reach."

Rose took out a bunch of hay for herself, Gavin and Redley. The 3 of them prepared a temporary place to sleep and Gavin noticed that Genevra had nothing to sleep and said "Where are you going to sleep Genevra?" Genevra replied with "I will be sleeping on the ground, I often have too." Gavin, Redley and Rose where surprised with the response but kept quiet for now.

As everyone starts to fall to sleep, Genevra kept awake and walked out of the deceased Lord Brown's lair and looked at the sky. It was a dark sky with a crescent moon and a lot of stars. "The sky, what a beautiful sight. I just hope I can help this team out. So far, I feel like I am a hindrance and Rose doesn't seem to like me but, I can't blame her."

Rose had been watching Genevra the entire time before sneaking back to her well made temp bed. Genevra walked back a few minutes later and looked at the sleeping team and gave one last sigh for the night.

Depth ???

"Well, well, well. How did I call that fail for Lord Brown. Well, at least I now know about those 3 knights but I better warn the guardian in the worst place in this entire planet, the Sanctuary. Calling Sanctuary Leader now!"

"Vol? Is there anything wrong?"

"There are 3 knights coming to your depth."

"What?! How?!"

"Lord Brown failed to kill the knights and was killed in the process. I need you "Dark Venom" to kill them when they reach the location."

"OK then, tell me there descriptions."

"One of them is the leader called Redley and..."

"Wait, did you say Redley?"

"Yes, why?"

"I battled a Redley before when his old party arrived at the Sanctuary but he got away, just."

"Well then, shouldn't be hard for you."

"Right well, need to prepare."

Vol the dark creature gave a roar, showing his energy was secured and was nearly finished...

Depth 29

"Vaelyn, we detected a loud cry in the core, it seems like the dark creature is trying to break out but, not sure. Vaelyn?" Vaelyn was still asleep and so, sent the warning to the Spiral HQ.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 13:26
#13
Valorai's picture
Valorai
Heart of Valor.

Moar.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 13:29
#14
Ironic-Biscuit's picture
Ironic-Biscuit
*Points a gun at Valorai*

Give me another chapter or HE DIES.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 13:41
#15
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
@Ironic

Don't rush me, if you do, it might take me even longer to get these chapters out...

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 14:16
#16
Ironic-Biscuit's picture
Ironic-Biscuit
^^^

Hear that, Valorai? She doesn't value your life!

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 14:58
#17
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
Chapter 5

((OOC: Due to someone that did a rush force, I will only do this chapter straightaway but be warned, 3 more rush forces and this RP will go the graveyard.))

Genevra woke up, early in the morning and looked around the floor for the crafting machine and any threats which could be a problem. After half an hour, she returned with a bunch of berries and made sure the foes where not going to attack. Genevra placed the berries on the ground and started to eat them as she saw Rose and Gavin waking up.

Rose looked at Genevra who was a bit surprised with all the berries she found and Gavin asked Genevra if he could have some and she was fine with it. Rose, Genevra and Gavin where busy eating the berries but Redley was still sleeping which was odd because he was usually awake at this time. Redley was moving about in the hay bed and looked like he was crying.

After a bit, all the berries where done but Gavin was concerned with Redley still asleep and shook him to try and wake him up but wasn't working. Genevra left the Lair and found the crafting machine again. She went to it and crafted a wake up berry and run back to where the team was. Rose and Gavin kept shaking him but it still wasn't working.

Genevra walked over and said "Give this to him, it will wake him up but, it's incredibly dry so, give this bottle of water when he wakes up. Rose placed the berry in Redley's mouth and then started to wake up. Redley struggled to get up and asked for a drink and was given the bottle of water that Genevra gave him.

Redley apologized and said "Sorry, I... I don't know how I couldn't wake up." The team walked out of Lord Brown's Lair and walked towards the lift which takes them to the entrance of the Sanctuary. Genevra asked Redley "Was there a creature with one blue eye in your dream?"

"Yeah, why and how does it matter?"

"That creature you encounter in your dream is the nightmare dark creature, if he enters your dream, it's really hard to awaken."

"Wow... that... that makes sense..."

The lift activated and started to go down to depth 23. Rose asked Genevra about the creature and she kind of froze.

"Um... i-it doesn't matter unless we encounter it during exploration..."

Genevra walked ahead to avoid any more questions and exchanged her energy to obtain a Shadow Key to enter the shadow lairs where the Sanctuary is. The team walked towards the center and asked "Which one is the easiest?" Redley said "The one on the left, I have been through that lair before. It shouldn't be that hard because most of the enemies won't have been resurrected yet."

Genevra nodded to agree with the decision and opened the lock of Rabid Snarbolax lair and the lift started to go down but it malfunctioned. The lift sped up and crashed on depth 27: The Unknown Passage. Redley walked forwards and told the team "We need to rush through this place otherwise we will struggle."

Genevra knew this place and got extremely worried, she knew what creature was hiding here. If that creature spotted her, it would make things much harder. The team walked towards the start and then, swarm portals and swarm entity's started to attack. Redley shouted "Run!" The team started to run throughout the corridors but noticed a giant dark sphere in the direct center.

Genevra told the team "Don't go near that thing, keep away." Gavin and Redley didn't want to know about the true power of it but Rose was a bit suspicious. She got as close as she could before it became too dangerous and rushed back to the team. When they reached near the end, they where trapped in a mini arena and the doors locked up.

All the swarm entity's where outside, looking angry and then, bells started to go off throughout the level. Genevra gulped as she prepared for what was happened. The team noticed Genevra and started to prepare as well. The dark sphere cracked through and a dark creature with a blue eye awoke. The dark creature flew to safety and said "Well, well, well. If it isn't Redley who I caused nightmares just last night and oh, there's Genevra! What are you doing here?"

((OOC2: Rush count: 1 strike. 2 more strikes and that's this story gone.))

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 15:03
#18
Ironic-Biscuit's picture
Ironic-Biscuit
You're threatening us?

Graveyard away, I mean... you seem to do that well enough without a so-called "rush force". Are you just LOOKING for an excuse to Graveyard?

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 15:05
#19
Robo-Drilldigger's picture
Robo-Drilldigger

@Ironic: Look who is now starting to bully Creeper now. With me, I just reveal loopholes, I never actually meant to close RP's, just to reveal those simple loopholes missed...

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 15:12
#20
Trolololololololoe's picture
Trolololololololoe
Not again! Every single time!

Let me explain this, all of the older fan-fic's Creeper made where all vanished because of Robo exploiting Loopholes which basically sent them to the graveyard. As for the new one, Ironic, you started this one with the "Rush force" and I can't blame that. It's slightly worse than exploting loopholes! Seriously, when you rush people to do more chapters, the chapter quality's or length is incredibly short and who's that thanks to? The people who rush other people.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 15:14
#21
Ironic-Biscuit's picture
Ironic-Biscuit
You seem to use the term bully very loosely.

Perhaps you should learn the definition of bullying. before you use it incorrectly. I hardly think that pointing out that she ends up graveyarding most of her work is bullying.

Wed, 05/28/2014 - 17:59
#22
Colray's picture
Colray
well

It certainly isn't encouraging anyone, and I wanna read this story. So be patient!

Thu, 05/29/2014 - 15:25
#23
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
Chapter 6

Genevra looked at the creature and said to the team "Who went towards the sphere in the center?" The creature laughed and said "It was Rose who awoke me, she went toward the radius to wake me up. Muhahaha!" Redley looked at the creature and was confused at the random laughter and said "What is up with the random laughter?"

The creature replied "Redley, Rose, Gavin, you shouldn't be alive right now!" The 3 of them where surprised at the response and they all said "What?!?! That can't be!" The creature gave an evil smile and said "It's true, but there is an abnormality in the time-space continuum. There is one person who shouldn't be here and that is Genevra."

Rose looked at Genevra and said "I knew there was something off about her!" The creature said "I am called Gira, the controller of the entire universe. I control the entire universe except the planet core's entity's. Genevra is from the future and now, I will offer you 3 a proposal that no idiot wouldn't accept."

Redley, Rose and Gavin looked at each other and was confused if he was telling the truth. Then Gira gave his offer "If you 3 give up Genevra, I will spare you and I won't affect your dreams anymore. If you don't accept will..." Gira covered himself in a dark shield and finished his sentence "...I will kill you all. Now, decide! This should be simple."

Redley, Rose and Gavin where really confused as if it was telling the true and so, they muttered so Genevra didn't hear "So, do we give her up? I think we should, she is still unknown to us. Rose, I see what's going on, you are jealous of her aren't you. What, n-no I-I'm not. See, your stuttering. Get ready, I won't sacrifice her." Rose sighed as Redley said to Gira "No, we don't accept your offer.

Gira's blue eye changed into red and yelled "Very well then, be prepared to DIE!" Gira flew into the arena and started attacking with dark bolts of electricity. Everyone dodged it and launched their attacks back but it didn't harm Gira. Gira did a traditional charge at the leader Redley and stunned him. Gavin launched a full Blitz Needle charge into Gira's dark shield and yet, it was to no avail.

Gira laughed as he said "You are regretting your decision now! Lower the gates and bring in the swarm!" The gates blocking off the swarm before where now lowered, allowing them to enter. Redley just remember this section and said "Avoid Gira, kill the swarm creatures." Rose and Gavin replied "Why?" Redley quickly said "Trust me!" as he killed a Void Lumber.

Gira looked at what they where doing and knew their plan. Gira vanished instantly and reappeared behind Redley and slammed straight into him. Redley got knocked back and was in pain. Genevra looked into the distance as one gate fell down and then shouted "Spiral Strike!" Her Divine Leviathan Blade and her started to spin around at fast speed which destroyed a lot of Swarm entity's but didn't even crack Gira's shield.

Genevra quickly bandaged up Redley before fighting on. Rose and Gavin where struggling due to them being gunners but where fine until Gira got in the road. Gira powered up a dark ball of sleep and shot it straight at Rose but missed by the tip of her helmet. Gira was getting really angry and shouted "All Swarm, attack the gunners first!"

Rose switched out her Argent Peacemaker for her Swiftstrike Buckler which wouldn't last long here but could survive one hit if it isn't a lumber. Gavin kept on shooting as he heard a gate falling down. Redley shouted "The gates are down! Run to the lift!" Redley and Rose started to run but Gavin got grabbed by Gira who said "One of you isn't getting out alive."

Genevra slashed at Gira and it temporary stunned him but it was enough to rescue Gavin and get to the lift. When they all got onto the lift, the lift automatically started to go down and they heard Gira saying "I'll get you!" The team took a sigh of relief but they weren't done yet. Redley took a quick drink of water and prepared for the Sanctuary.

Rose looked at Genevra with a angry look and said "I always suspected something odd was about you and I wanted to leave you behind and let Gira kill you but Gavin and Redley had to disagree." Gavin grabbed a hold of Rose's main gun using hand and said "Calm down Rose. This is just not like you." Rose gave a chilling remark "Either she leaves the party or tells us the full truth about why she is still helping us!"

Redley turned around and said to Rose "You are seriously that jealous? Genevra doesn't need to tell us anything unless she wants to." Genevra said "I... I will tell you about why I am here after the Sanctuary..." It looked like there was tears building up. Rose then gave a mean smirk and said "Wow, tears! If you are a vanguard, how do you even have friends or your family must be really disappointed in you!"

Genevra kept quiet as the lift landed but there where tears going down her armor. Rose walked off the lift first after shaking off the grasp from Gavin. Rose then muttered "Genevra is certainly not who she is. Who does she think she is? She might have pulled the wool over Gavin and Redley's eyes but not mine."

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:11
#24
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash

Sounds like Ironic is just encouraging Creeper in a humorous way, no need for any bickering now... Unless y'all think the world is round, which it ain't!

Anyways, the one thing I admire best about Creeperlucario is her perseverance! She always seems to struggle not solely because of the difficulty involved with writing things, but also against others. But no matter what, she always comes back.

Gotta say the story's coming along great! I particularly liked the fight scene, however, as others have said, expanding your vocabulary and perhaps trying to write without the tone of speech (telling the story like you're talking to someone, basically) could advance your skills to the next level.

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 15:30
#25
Creeperlucario's picture
Creeperlucario
Chapter 7

Dark Venom saw a knight who seemed to be angry and then quickly whispered to her "Hey! Come over here!" The knight walked over and said "I heard you complaining about 3 people, tell me about them." The knight said "They are Redley, Gavin and the liar Genevra." Venom said "So, you must be Rose then. Well, how about me and you work together. I want to kill one of them and you are obviously agitated about another one."

Rose said "Sure, as long as that liar is deceased." Venom chuckled a little and gave her a ring and said "Hold onto this, it prevents me harming you by accident." Rose placed it on her finger and suddenly couldn't move. Venom smiled and said "Wow, I didn't expect an idiot to fall for that trap but, let's make this easier. Rose, let's go and kill your team."

Rose nodded slowly and started to walk with the evil Venom. Redley noticed Rose standing by the dark creature which looked familiar and said "What are you doing with my team member?" Rose aimed at Redley and Venom laughed "If you should know, Redley, I am basically helping her out." Genevra noticed Rose wasn't looking like herself.

Gavin kept his distance and attached a sniper scope to his blitz needle and aimed it at Rose. Rose took aim at Genevra and shot her in the arm, making her bleed heavily. Rose didn't seem to have remorse for Genevra. Rose then said to Venom "Go to the elevator, Gavin is hiding there. Redley, don't try anything funny, I will shot you if you try."

Rose aimed at Redley as Venom walked towards Gavin. Gavin quickly changed his aim to Venom but due to him being a lumber, the blitz needle barely dented him. Venom slammed his axe into Gavin just enough to make him faint and bleed out slowly but not to kill him, yet. Venom picked him up and laughed as he went back to Rose.

Genevra bandaged herself up to stop the bleeding but she fainted a few seconds later and landed on the ground, out of energy. Redley looked at Venom and Rose and said "Why Rose!" Rose was going to speak until Venom cut in and said "Don't start, it's clear you always hated Rose and you and Gavin secretly have a crush on that other girl."

Redley was losing his patience and said "No, I don't have a crush on Genevra!" Rose said "It's quite clear, don't hide it." Rose shot a warning bullet at Redley and Venom dashed towards him. Redley got severely injured in one of his legs and collapsed onto one knee and was getting really angry. Venom looked at the weakened Redley and said "I still don't know how you escaped last time but, you won't get away this time."

Venom prepared his axe to finish Redley off when Redley yelled "NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!" Redley managed to slash Venom back with such power that it made him flinch. Redley managed to step up, using reserved energy and run towards Venom. Venom looked at Rose and knocked the ring off her and then made her faint.

Redley slashed at Venom which pushed him on top of a module on the ground. Venom yelped in pain and said "How, how do you have so much power when you where nearly killed." Redley didn't answer and charged his weapon at Venom. Venom aimed his axe in front of him to block the charge but, when Redley released the charge, it broke the armor plates on him and he landed on his back.

Redley wasn't done and pushed his blade straight into Venom and it killed him. Redley looked around and fell back onto one knee and crawled to Gavin and bandaged him up before Redley fainted from the injured battling.

After a few minutes, Genevra awoke and saw that Venom was gone and Rose was back to normal. Genevra walked towards the harmed Redley and used her last bandage on Redley's cut. She then walked to the crafting machine on the water and crafted a herb to recover Redley's energy and then walked back to Redley.

Gavin had just awoken and started to get up. He shook his head and said "What happened? How are we still alive?" Genevra placed the herb in Redley's mouth and said "I have no clue, we should have been killed which..." Gavin noticed something was wrong but kept quiet. Redley slowly started to wake up and was still feeling pain and had a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Urgh, why is my mouth so bitter?" Genevra gave him her last bottle of water and Redley thanked her as he drank the entire bottle. Rose had started to get up and noticed everyone else was awake. She replied "S-sorry about that. I had just lost it and couldn't cope with it anymore." Gavin looked at Rose and said "We are lucky to still to be alive. Why did you trust that creature."

Rose gulped and said "I... I was fed up of you 2 constantly believing Genevra. I was the only one who was always suspicous and I believed what Gira said." Genevra looked at Rose and said "That is why you became meaner and meaner to me but... I better tell you 3..." Rose felt a bit bad for the way she treated Rose but what she would say next would be the interesting part.

"You see, what Gira said about me being from the future was... it was true..." Rose looked at Gavin and Redley with look of "I told you so." Gavin and Redley where a bit surprised and Rose then said "How did you even get here?"

Fri, 05/30/2014 - 16:09
#26
Colray's picture
Colray
i like

But if you put a new paragraph when someone new starts speaking it may be a little easier to follow. I put your first paragraph in said format as an example.

Dark Venom saw a knight who seemed to be angry and then quickly whispered to her "Hey! Come over here!" The knight walked over and said "I heard you complaining about 3 people, tell me about them."

The knight said "They are Redley, Gavin and the liar Genevra."

Venom said "So, you must be Rose then. Well, how about me and you work together. I want to kill one of them and you are obviously agitated about another one."

Other than that I liked the new chapter.

Thu, 06/05/2014 - 05:42
#27
Ironic-Biscuit's picture
Ironic-Biscuit
Typical.

Just, bloody typical.

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