Ideally, I want a UV tiket which can make any piece of equipment usable if given enought time and monet.

Mad Punch Variant Ticket
A variant ticket which can do anything to your equipment.
By anything, I mean:
weapons can get
1. All the UVs of a regular UVs obtained from crafting. ex: Asi increase High
2. All opposite the UVs of #1. ex: Attack speed decrease High
3. Causing Status effects. ex: Fair chance of causing Strong Fire.
4. Recieving Status effects. ex: Fair chance of recieving Strong Fire.
whereas for armor:
1. All the UVs of crafting and their opposites
2. Attack speed, damage, movement speed and their opposites
UV probabilities are skewed against extremes (In other words it is very unlikely to get Max on anything).

Now before you all exclaim OP, there are restraints:
1. It will remove all previous UVs on the equipmet.
2. The ticket will only work for fully heated equipment. It will remove all heat on the weapon. The weapon will bind to you when rolled for a Mad UV.
3. It will add a Status on the piece of equipment called Heat Curse. Its effects are
a. the equipment cannot obtain new UVs until it is fully heated.
b. the heat of this weapon increases depending on damage dealt to enemies by this weapon. It is also affected by revives (Increase if revive teammates, decrease if revived by teammate).
c. weapons with Heat Curse will be worth 0 crowns if sold to strangers. You can unbind it and sell it in AH though.

In other words, this ticket can hurt.

Would you be willing to leave your equipment at the mercy of Punch? What price would you be willing to pay for a ticket like this?