Forums › English Language Forums › General › Treasure Vault

Recherche

A knight's first journey in Tier 3, and to the core.

1 Réponse [Dernière contribution]
mer, 08/27/2014 - 17:35
#6251
Portrait de Hexlash
Hexlash
Not bad.

Good start, I thought it was interesting how this seemed based off an actual run.

There are a few things I want to point out, if you don't mind.

Try to separate the text into new paragraphs, I did see the new lines, but adding two will break up the wall of text and make it easier on the eyes. I would have liked to see a bit more interaction between you and the other knight, who's name we didn't even know. To make something italic in these forums, use < em > (without spaces) instead of [i], in the same opening and closing format (the rest of the text modifiers are right below the text box). You could have added a bit more suspense and "during the moment" action, which I saw a bit of when you fought the 'Toxilargo'.

Since I've never seen you before, welcome to the Treasure Vault! Hope to see you improve and write more! :D

Créé avec l'aide de Drupal, un système de gestion de contenu "opensource"