[deleted]
threaddead
Everything flowed pretty well, and the writing style is very nice.
I loved the end of the first chapter with Jay hiding under his bed. *laughs*
Also, it was interesting to see a "Knight" that probably wasn't one at the same time- just weird Swarm stuff.
The second chapter was a little slow. It just didn't feel like much time had passed through the whole thing...or maybe it's just me. *shrug*
The Gremlins were well written, and I could feel the tension between them and Lorraine (general Knight/Gremlin hatred) during the exchange. Nicely done!
Thanks, input is always welcome. :D
Personally, I didn't feel too good about chapter 2. But I feel it helps explain what happened in chapter 1 and kicks the story in a direction I could work with. So, in the end, I guess it's okay, heh. Maybe it's because I haven't been writing any fanfiction for a long while that makes feel that way... oh well, hopefully I'll be able to write more soon.
Not the best Story Title, but the story sounded nice. Keep up the good work.