When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Boswick.
Boswick won American Idol using only sign language.
Ghosts sit around the bonfire and tell Boswick stories.
Boswick doesn't call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.
Once a cop pulled over Boswick.. the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Boswick won the world series of poker using pokemon cards.
Did you know Boswick had a role in star wars? He was the force.
There used to be a street named after Boswick, but it was changed because nobody crosses Boswick and lives.
Boswick has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead, it's just too afraid to move.
Boswick has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
(If this is against the ToS or anything, then sorry, delete it but if it isn't.. lol.)
Make your own Boswick jokes! Post them here, have a laugh!
Boswick Facts.
Made me laugh.
But I'm a little bit new here, who is Boswick?
564 white rabbits
Glad for the laughs. I just edited that out, Thimol. Good idea.
Boswick can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Boswick's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Boswick.
Once a cobra bit Boswick's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Boswick enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Boswick.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Boswick out. It failed miserably.
When Boswick had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
:)
Chuck Norris got sick of his own jokes.
Chuck Norris plays techo music on his harmonica.
I laughed at all of these :D especially the cobra one.
More Boswick jokes needed! I'm making a compilation.
More Boswick jokes coming Azkaellion!
@Frankdark Boswick is a dev for spiral knights.
Some magicians walk on water, Boswick swims through land.
Boswick doesn't have a middle name, nobody gets between Boswick.
Boswick grew a beard at the age of 18. Seconds.
Boswick can cut through a hot knife with butter.
Boswick can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Fear of spiders is Arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is Claustrophobia, fear of Boswick is called Logic.
Boswick and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Boswick can drown fish.
Boswick can squeeze orange juice out of a banana.
Boswick can send a email with a pencil.
Boswick filmed the making of the first camera.
Hope you enjoyed, I did. More to come tomorrow!
Boswick can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Not to be a pedantic prick, but this is possible.
Boswick can drown fish.
This too, or so I'm told.
http://wiki.spiralknights.com/Developers
Boswick once dropped a duce in the woods. That bush now lies in wait for its next victim.
During beta, Boswick was battle testing the Tortordrones..... they haven't been seen ever since.
"Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Boswick is called Logic."
its Arachnophobia and Claustrophobia =p
I KNEW there was something wrong about that.
Boswick once robbed Vanaduke, now Vanaduke is old
In the year 2012... only Boswick remains
A zombie once bit Boswick, he got infected and in two seconds the zombie turned into a Boswick
During the Cold War America had an entire fleet wiped out, they sent in Boswick on a raft to finish the job
The Pyramids of Giza... Boswick's doing
The Stonehenge... Boswick's doing, but killed those who helped him, so they didn't get credit
The Grand Canyon... formed when Boswick spit in it
The City of Jerusalem... Boswick was given a hammer, nails, one plank of wood, and a slab of stone
The Colosseum... Rome stopped paying Boswick, so he didn't finish it
The Great Barrier... even Boswick doesn't remember how he made it
The Great Wall of China... Boswick was on the Mongol's side
How did the dinosaurs get wiped out? Ask Boswick he remembers
The theories of the Universe:
-God
-The Big Bang
-Boswick (Enough said)
__________________________________________________________
And that's all
Those are pretty good as well :D
Boswick is afraid of Rangerwill for his massive spamming. ;)
Boswick can set fire to the sun.
Boswick doesn't need a Magic Carpet to fly. All Boseick's has to do is eat a bird, if even.
Boswick can deliver a kick which can shatter the bones of a Slag Walker.
Nobody goes to Boswick's Operas. They'd go deaf, Boswick is too good. They run away when they hear The singing, they are not worthy to hear.
People try to cut Boswick's Bush down. I'd tell you to ask someone, but nobody has survived. Boswick's Bush ate them for nutrients.
Jason, Freddy, and Chucky are scared of Boswick.
Here's one I made up myself:
When Boswick goes to the movies, everyone watches him.
Boswick can pop a wheelie on a unicycle.
why is he called the first scammer?
@Stormfast: I believe it is Dogrock who earned that title.
Also, I would like to add: Boswick is so epic, that Mudkipz liek him.
They say that God created mankind, but they never told you that Boswick created God.
Chuck norris writes Boswic jokes.
Also;
http://www.boswick.net/index.php
http://www.crsponseller.com/about.html
Is that... art for elder scrolls?
>:U
Boswick had a wrestling competition with Superman. The bet was that the loser wears his underwear outside his pants.
Boswick scared away his shadow.
How about some more SK themed facts?
Boswick doesn't pay an elevator fee, the elevators pay him.
Boswick's Bush doesn't drop coins, it drops wolver tails.
Boswick's armor is heated to 11.
Boswick got all the Achievements. Twice.
Sullivan works for Boswick.
Poison heals Boswick.
Boswick's Divine Avenger is pure Elemental.
When Boswick kills a Phantom it doesn't come back.
Boswick caps all the points in Lockdown... at the same time.
Kleptolisks give vials to Boswick.
Boswick knew about the Unknown Passage.
Boswick's guild hall came furnished.
Boswick doesn't mistell, you just have the wrong name.
Boswick invented the Prize Wheel because he had too much stuff.
Boswick's equipment doesn't have UVs, it's just that everyone else's is that much weaker.
Boswick's standard HP is 56.
Boswick has five item slots.
Black Kats didn't make it to the game because Boswick crossed their path.
Boswick owns a Guardian Shield.
When Boswick kills a monster, it drops Crystal Energy.
Boswick once had an arm wrestling competition with a mysteriously suspicious stranger. The loser had to go around the rest of his life with the name of Chuck Norris.
cant wait til Boswick pops up here to read these
He might have already! Good idea Culture on the SK themed facts.
I'll try to work on those.
I know for a fact that Boswick has a Max ASI UV'd Blitz Needle.
Here are a few, I'll make up more later.
Boswick's worst loadout is eleven 17* items.
Once, a Alpha Wolver bit Boswick in the face. After 3 days of excruciating pain and agony, the Wolver died.
Once Boswick played a lockdown game, it ended in 2.6 seconds. Everyone quit. Boswick had 419712 damage.
Boswick has a Voltedge, it has some UVs. DMG UNDEAD BM, DMG BEAST BM, DMG FIEND BM, DMG CONSTRUCT BM, DMG SLIME BM, DMG GREMLIN BM, CTR BM, ASI BM. (BM stands for Beyond Maximum.)
Boswick ordered a Big Mac at Taco Bell. Boswick got one.
Boswick plays XBox360 games on a PS3.
When Boswick plays scrabble, ajdhkflb IS a word.
Trojans don't push Boswick into a corner, he pushes them
There are over ten thousand players in Spiral Knights... Because Boswick let's them live
The Owlite Academy didn't fall because of the Grimalkins, Boswick accidentally swung his sword at a book shelf
Boswick doesn't run out of Mist energy, HE IS MIST ENERGY!
There was once an elite unit of knights who tried hacking SK for themselves, we didn't notice any changes because Boswick found them before they could log on
My computer crashed last month because Boswick had a heart attack
Boswick doesn't work for OOO, they work for Boswick
My character's face melted, he stared at Boswick for too long
Boswick doesn't buy ce, the sellers pay him to take it.
You know those trolls you see? They're only still there because they're beneath Boswick's notice.
Once, when Boswick sneezed, there was an explosion. OOO was accused for testing nuclear weapons.
My computer kept crashing because Boswick kept snapping his fingers.
It's a common mistake that people think suns die out. Really, Boswick just turned off the lights.
Remember when Ash got Palkia to restore that city? Palkia didn't do anything. That was Boswick.
How is it?
The reason this thread is true is because of Boswick.
The Bush that never burned yet was on fire in front of Moses was Boswick's Bush.
Spookats become cute when Boswick is around.
Chuck Norris punched Boswick. Thirty teeth fell out and Chuck was crying on the ground.
Boswick is Secret #10.
Boswick beat Darkfire Vanaduke in Proto gear because Vanaduke let him pass.
Snipes are robots controlled by Boswick.
Tinkinzar was fined for stealing Boswick's ideas of making the Clockworks.
The reason Lumbers have only one arm is because Boswick ripped of the other one with a Proto shield.
Boswick ate the cake Portal was supposed to give the player.
Ice Queen beats jelly King. Ice Queen gets beaten by Boswick.
Vanaduke is at the core, hiding from Boswick.
The reason Tinkinzar isn't released yet is because he's afraid of Boswick.
Boswick was once a Beta tester, but was promoted because he recieved feet in game.
Chris and Magnus are in rivalry because they want to please Boswick (Don't come attacking me, either of you.)
Boswick scared the Tortodrone from the game.
Zombies were originally Game Masters until Boswick killed them all in game.
Phantoms were originally Zombies until Boswick killed them all in game.
Boswick killed all the Phantoms in his venture permanently.
Boswick made a suggestion for a Suggestions to be a thread group.
Boswick donated all the stuff in the Featured Auctions.
Boswick's name as Devilite CEO is Boss Wick. (Wick is short for Wicked)
Scissor Blades are used to cut Boswick's hair.
Boswick introduced weapons into the game by wielding a Snipe.
Chuck Norris makes sure the Boogeyman stays hiding in the dark closet. Boswick makes sure Chuck Norris is hiding under his bed.
Boswick's Protogear is now 10*.
Boswick has 30 Unique Variants currently on his Knight.
The howl Wolvers make literally means "Oh help us, great Boswick!"
Boswick eats Jelly King for midnight snacks.
And people say I'm a spammer. Pfff.
The nuke one was good
@Heavy
Those were the best so far you sir have won...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmjHT5GpAYQ
the USGA
When you watch a movie, they say it's based of a true story.
When Boswick makes a movie, one day you'll find they made a true story was based off the movie
Boswick does an energy blast when people give their health to revive him.
When Boswick destroys a Howlitzer, the head flies away from him.
When most knights take damage, pips fly out of them. When Boswick takes damage, bullets fly out of him.
In Lockdown, Boswick exclusively uses a Big Angry Bomb. He always has the highest damage in the end.
Boswick kills enemies by throwing Remedy Capsules at them and heals by drinking Fire Vials.
Ever wondered what ritual the Konjurer Kat is performing? He's trying to summon Boswick.
Boswick doesn't use Elevators, he just jumps down to the next depth.
This thread actually used to be 5 pages. Boswick willed all the bad jokes out of existence.
Haha, loving all the jokes guys! Keep it up!
@Psychodestroyer Good job.
Boswick killed all the Shadow Swarm in his Unknown Passage.
Silkwings heal Boswick first, then self-destruct on monsters.
Game Masters send requests to Boswick.
Boswick invented the Gear in Spiral Knights after inventing matter in Cradle.
All mail goes through Boswick first.
Boswick is there when you're not playing Spiral Knights.
Boswick owns a Chrome Regalia.
Boswick prefers using the Prime Bombhead Mask Bomb.
Boswick once kicked a gun puppy in the chin.It descendants are now known as the RTs.
The reason Love Puppies give hearts is because the were enchanted by Boswick.
Boswick isnt his real name.But if you said his real name you would turn to dust.
The shadow lairs are what's left after an incident by Boswick that he calls: 'The Swarm did it'.
When Boswick entered the Clockworks, he was hit by a Kleptolisk. He later found he had a full belt.
When Boswick is cursed, his health increases wit each attack.
Boswick once stole stale honey from a hive, and a Bee stung him. After 200 apologies and vows to never again even try such a thing, the hive of bees pledged loyalty to Boswick in compensation.
Those train tracks in Moorcroft? Only Boswick can even see the train.
Boswick threw up into a giant globe thingy before. The result was the Core.
Boswick sneezed and the Skylark crash landed.
Boswick coughed and Gremlins fled to the core.
Boswick farted and Poison came to be.
Boswick's anger to Players rises Crystal Energy prices.
Boswick rips up the money you pay to OOO, and gives them gold instead.
Player to player trade was about to be removed because Boswick owns all.
Boswick is cuter than snipes. (Please no comments)
Boswick only once slept in a hotel, but the waiter asked for tips, and the entire hotel was destroyed. Welcome to Moorcroft.
Boswick is the Dark Ritual.
Konjuring Kat is only Konjuring because Boswick says so.
Boswick stole the gears from Minecraft (which are now removed) and put them together in a way that no one knows. Welcome to the Clockworks.
Boswick uses his Leviathan Blade to clean his ears.
Boswick is scarier and darker than a Knightmare Trojan. He owned one of their swords before he used it as a toothpick.
The Divine Avenger was originally named "Boswick's Pinky Toenail" before OOO staff saw it would be an overstatement.
Monsters actually turn away to run when Boswick comes close.
Survey says for more than half the reboots Spiral Knights had so Players would leave were so they wouldn't die in Boswick's time he played.
Boswick dual wields.
Boswick's prismatic color is theorized to be either rainbow, pure white, pure darkness, or power.
Boswick could have Pipe and Moustache accessories at once.
Gates were made for a cage match between Vanaduke and Boswick. As it turns out, they can only hold Vanaduke in unless he's being thrown by Boswick.
Boswick actually used Vanaduke for a junior Bowling Ball.
Boswick cuddles with Snarbolax.
For Boswick's battles against the Roarmulus Twins, they need legs.
Polyps, Gun Puppies, and Howlitzers run for their lives from Boswick.
Cradle's shattered moon was one of four perfect spheres before Boswick landed and nearly destroyed them all.
Boswick did not have a Crash Landing.
Boswick created the Asteroid Belt after the crumbs from his sandwich he was eating on Mars fell.
Boswick's bush hold the meaning of life in it.
Boswick created Stonehenge when he tried to make his own LEGO set.
When Boswick faced Superman and Hulk both they got knocked into the future.
Boswick made Nyan Cat when he put Boswick Sauce on a poptart
(Question:Are my Jokes good?I feel like they could be better and more worthy for Boswick)
The music played is Boswick's humming.
Boswick could kill a Love Puppy and revive it.
Boswick plays Spiral Knights in Sign Language on Microsoft Word.
Boswick failed to do only one thing- to fail.
It is said that Snipes that perched on Boswick's Bush turned to Game Masters. (Please confirm, Eurydice)
Boswick has Sleep inducing weapons.
(@Altos) Boswick launched his pet Spookat, who was eating a Poptart at the time, and launched it into space. It is now called Nyan Cat.
Boswick loves Love Puppies more than they love him.
People blamed Boswick. Those people are now called Noobs. (Just Kidding!)
Boswick donated the Firestorm Citadel to Vanaduke.
Darkfire Storm Citadel was Boswick's tutorial map.
Boswick gives me his facts.
Boswick played Pokemon and captured Ultimate Blue Eyes White Dragon with a Vitapod right after killing the Enderdragon with a Dirt Block.
King Krogmo bribes Boswick for Bombhead Mask Bombs.
Boswick lost a guitar in the loading screen. Can you see it?
Monomi was Boswick's first Gun Puppy he froze, but Spiral Knights did not want him to do it again after he froze her twin.
Boswick can divide his age by zero and get 2319 in the Auction House.
Dragon Scale is actually Boswick's dandruff, and you don't want to know what Ecto Drop is...
Boswick shears Vog Cubs and Skolvers for their respective armors.
Boswick broke a Treasure Box that had a Treasure Box inside.
Treasure Vault once held unlimited Gold Crowns and Boss Tokens until Boswick took them back.
Fang of Vog was actually Boswick's Baby Tooth.
Divine Mantles are all replicas of Boswick's, but it would burn a hole through your computer screen.
Boswick never needs Previews for his Comments.
Do I get a cookie for putting up more than eighty Boswick Facts? :D
Yes! You get TWO cookies!
Boswick makes the cookies you get.
Boawick was born with a power level of over 9000.
When Goku goes Super Saiyan, his hair doesn't ACTUALLY go yellow. Boswick just wanted to play a prank on him.
Grimlakins are Boswick's pets.
King Tinkanizar is a figment of our imagination. Boswick made him real.
In Megaman Starforce 3, Meteor G was actually one of Boswicks energy ideas he rejected. He denies any involvement with it, because it wasn't potent enough, and therefore not worthy of his association (<-Unofficial statement).
You know the Power surge weekends and Birdsong.co givaway? That's when OOO manages to find Boswicks wallet.
I laughed at all of these.
Probably because I don't read many Chuck Norris jokes.