Clockwork Catastrophe 2: Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold (COMPLETE)
Mon, 03/12/2012 - 14:46
I suggest you read the first one before this one to clear up the back story. Linky: http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/45197
Back story
Angie and Vivi survived the calamities that belied them at the core. Max is kidnapped by King Tinkinzar, and Ender is in the Sanctuary, travelling space and time to find his friends. Angie wants serious revenge. Vivi is worried about what might happen. Will Angie die? Or Will she Kill the Mad King? And what has come of Ender? Find out in....
CLOCKWORK CATASTROPHE 2!
Chapter 1: The Start of the End
Max had been brainwashed by Tinkinzar. Now he serves under his rule. Max was the new War Master, replacing Seerus.
***
Angie and Vivi talked in the garden, where the statue of Monomi is. "I am sick and tired of waiting! Let's just get this over with." Angie said. "We need more power." Vivi told Angie. Angie's appearance had changed - She now wears the Red Rose set as a costume set, with her signature prismatic ribbon. She now posses the Valkyrie set for her armor. Vivi has also changed since he last appeared - He has the Valkyrie Set, Alongside Angie. Vivi is now wearing the White Rose set as a costume. He has the following accessories attached the costume: Toasty Vitakit, Divine Canteen, Prismatic Wings and Regal Helm-Mounted Display with Com Unit. Angie has the following acessories attached to her costume: The Regal Helm-Mounted Display with Com unit that Vivi has, Divine Wings and Proto Crest. They kept on talking for a while...
Mon, 03/12/2012 - 21:31
#2
Oo
Just speedread through the whole thing...sorry, no offence if you think I didn't give it full attention.
My problem is that I find it hard to concentrate on grouped lines, not your fault by a long shot, so no worries, and I did read through the whole thing, so I have the gist of the storyline. May read it through in more analytic depth when I get more time.
Interesting story! I'm intrigued as to what happens next.
Just a question, I'm slightly curious...Aside from the characters names which we've already discussed...
Have you been modelling parts of your story off Codename?
I dunno, some parts just sound similar, like the part where you used Simple and Clean Planitb Remix, as well as the dashed lyrics, Ender falls into the Core, sees an unconscious Max (I lolled when I read your explanation of that) and other.
Don't worry, I'm not offended, or even a little irked. I'm just curious, because it sounds similar.
Even the intro to this sounds similar to Codename Part 3; Ange/Angie going on a revenge spree.
As far as I can think, this is one of three things:
1) A really big co-incidence. We just have similar storylines.
2) You've been reading Codename recently and modeled parts from it. (Oh, cool! I think I'll use this.)
3) You were making your story, read Codename, then used ideas you got from Codename in your own story, without really thinking of it as having been in another story.
In any case, don't worry, I'm not mad. Just curious.
Tue, 03/13/2012 - 05:32
#3
Haha, Lols
Yeah, it's alright Psycho. And no, Ender wasn't thrown in the same way as max, Tinkinzar BLASTED HIM OFF THE BALCONY! :O Anyway...I think we broke space and time. Atleast some of the parts were original. Like, The introduction of the Gremlin King, or Ender gaining the power to move through time and space. XD Anyway, I'm on a short Hiatus; I'm letting you catch up.
Tue, 03/13/2012 - 10:19
#4
Also, For the answer....
1. A giant co-incidence.
Tue, 03/13/2012 - 10:51
#5
Chapter 3: Missing in the Shadows
Ender, Angie and Vivi traveled through the clockworks...until they reached Firestorm Citadel. They went on through, like average...but then everything average stops. Vanaduke wasn't there when they hit the button. "Why is he not here?" Ender questioned. "Oh well, let's go on through." Vivi said. They went on. They went back to the core but.... The site was in ruins. A feather from Max's Chapeau lied on the ground. "No...Max couldn't have done this!" Angie said. When they got back up, there was a lot of commotion about some "Mystery Person" Sabotaging the clockworks. "Now I understand....The gremlin king must have done this!" Angie said.
Tue, 03/13/2012 - 10:51
#6
Short chapter, I know.
I was bored, and decided to update.
Fri, 03/16/2012 - 01:42
#7
Chapter 4: Trouble
Meanwhile....
Max had created a blueprint for Project Conquest, a giant mecha. When Tinkinzar saw it, he was astounded at it. "Of course, this thing is impossible to break! No knight can ever penetrate the armor!" The King said. And then started the production....
***
Angie wouldn't just stop thinking about finding Max. She would think for hours on end. All she wanted was Max. But she would never know his location....and Vivi got worried and worried by the minute.
Everyone just knew it.
Trouble would arrive.
Sun, 03/18/2012 - 08:31
#8
Chapter 5: Total Annihilation
Then, Angie snapped. She ran off, into the clockworks. "Oh boy. There she goes." Vivi said, and the two boys chased after her, but then the lift went down. "Looks like this is going to hurt her more than it does to us." Ender said, and with that, the two descended into the clockworks.
***
The factory was in overdrive, but then the materials needed...ran out. It was only 37% done, with the lower part being done. Then the gremlins all fell silent, the only thing that could be noticed was some of them being torched, and others frozen to death. The security cameras were even destroyed too. "Looks like that twerp is trying to find you." Tinkinzar said to Max. "Of course, if she finds me, she would be dead. Very fast." Max replied.
"Angie? Where are you?" Vivi and Ender would often say, running through the devastated factory. Then they ran into a trap. The Red Roarmulus Twins. "Haha! I knew you'd fall for it!" Tinkinzar said, and with a snap, the twins came up. Vivi directed missiles, and Ender attacked the fallen twin. And then Kozma joined them, Assisting Ender with destroying the twins. Finally, they were annihilated. "Well then, I'll wait for your little girl to come back, and then I'll annihilate all of you!" Tinkinzar said. Angie ran through to the room. "Where have you been?" Vivi asked. "On a rampage, trying to find Max!" She responded. "Max? Well that was going to be your surprise opponent, but HAVE AT YOU!" Tinkinzar shouted.
"You, are SO GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!" Ender yelled at Tinkinzar.
MUSIC LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P95Ct52a-MM&feature=plcp&context=C43b7774...
(What? Something other than FF8?)
Max walked into the room, and quickly drew the Barbarous Thorn Blades. Ender drew the Divine Avenger. "All of you, run! I'll deal with him!" Ender said, but they wouldn't budge. "We're going to help you." Vivi said. Then the fight began....
Max quickly got the opening strike, and then Vivi began to charge up a Laser. "On a count of 3, point the sword up to the laser!" Vivi said. Then Ender's sword was charged by the laser. "Now Take this!" Ender shouted, and delivered an almost-fatal strike onto Max. Then Max used the charge attack from the blades, and then Angie deflected the spines. "Now, finish him off!" Angie said. Ender held the pendant close to him, and then struck. The two swords collided, and then Ender delivered a finishing blow. He sliced up, down and then the aura around the sword reached an immense height, and Max was struck down.
MUSIC LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OSjxWJuuqQ
Max laid there on the ground, almost-dead from that attack, and no longer brainwashed by Tinkinzar. "Ender...there's no way I can recover...just...kill me..." Max said to Ender. Ender gave another heavy strike, killing Max in a bright explosion. All that was left was his Sentenza, and the Barbarous Thorn Blades. "I can't believe we lost one forever..." Angie said, dropping on the floor. Yet the heart on the pendant didn't gray out. It stayed Red. "Angie, there's nothing we can do...Max is gone. We need to move on." Kozma said, trying to reason with Angie.
"Ahahahaaha! So sad....yet I enjoy seeing your pity!" Tinkinzar laughed. "But nobody can stop the next creation..." And then, he teleported. "Don't let him get away!" Ender shouted, and they ran after him.
Tue, 03/20/2012 - 15:01
#9
Guess what?
NOBODY'S READING -_-
Wed, 03/21/2012 - 17:57
#10
Chapter 6: Cut to the Chase
Before Reading, Use the link from when Ender fought Max. Use this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P95Ct52a-MM&feature=plcp&context=C43b7774...
The knights, begging for revenge within, chased after Tinkinzar. Tinkinzar sent shadow orbs after them...finally knocking Kozma down at depth 27. It was a race to the core. Finally, They reached the core, and Kozma caught up. "Well then, you've come this far, but not enough to be able to stop me...because I have gained the DNA of every single powerful lifeform on this Planet!" Tinkinzar bellowed.
"Regardless of what you do, You will never stop me!"
MUSIC LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78m-WtEY0YQ&feature=related (Any KSSU Fan will have sudden nostalgia.)
"Enough talk, I'll prove ANYONE can make a difference!"
And with that, Angie rushed on forward...but there was something that kept her from attacking. She was worried...Tinkinzar copied Ender's DNA." No. That would be impossible." She thought, and then Vivi gave her the heads up. "He's switching to the DNA of Max! Be careful!" Vivi warned. Angie struck fiercely, like a tiger going all-out on it's prey.
With all she knew about whoever he copied's weaknesses...It's was certain she was going to win. Tinkinzar switched between the following: Max, Red Roarmulus Twins, Darkfire Vanaduke, and then...he switched to a form nobody knew. Vivi even wasn't sure about the name of the form either. "Who's Magolor?" He questioned. Then Tinkinzar flew up, and started all the attacks. Dark Homing balls. Black hole. You name it. And finally, Tinkinzar defeated Angie. With a giant laser. He thought Angie died.
(How did she make Tinky switch out of RRT? Striking back a ball to disable the invincibility field.)
Except...she didn't. She was still alive, but barely breathing. Vivi took his chance, shooting Max's Sentenza...but he was outsmarted by the same form. Ender finally got infuriated, and decided to fight Tinkinzar himself.
"You have done enough. Now, have at you, against Cradle's ultimate warrior!"
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 13:55
#11
Somebody...READ!!!
I mean it!
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:18
#12
Chapter 7: The Core's Ultimate Menace
MUSIC LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59JFn4pyedM&feature=related (First Final Fantasy, now Kirby?!)
Tinkinzar swapped to Snarbolax, But for some reason... Ender pierced the invincibility field! "WHAT?!" Tinkinzar yelled in questioning. Unlike Angie, Tinkinzar went in this order: Snarbolax, Royal Jelly, Lord Vanaduke, Roarmulus Twins and then finally to Magolor. But when he did switch to Magolor....Tinkinzar began to glow. Vivi scanned the target. "Look out, He's merging the DNA!" Vivi shouted. Behind Tinkinzar, the Core began to open up....in a source of pure white light. The earthquakes that occured on the surface caused sinkholes, attempting to drag down the entirety of Haven! 4 of the arcade's gates crashed down in a flash.
Tinkinzar had reached to a power so high, it scrambled Vivi's sight. Finally, after a rough and fierce battle, Tinkinzar pulled out a nitronome. "NO! Don't even think of it..." Kozma yelled. "Even though my time is up, your's will be soon!" Tinkinar shouted, and detonated the bomb, causing a gigantic explosion. Tinkinzar faded into dust, and Ender took huge damage from the explosion to the point where he barely had any energy left.
Angie looked at the status link. [WARNING: ENERGY EXTREMELY LOW; ENERGY SYSTEM DAMAGED; HEAT SYSTEM DAMAGED; LIFE SUPPORT TERMINATES IN 5 MINUTES] Angie was terrified. Ender had taken so much damage...and he would die.
Suddenly, the core turned pitch black, and shadowy pixels started to rise. Angie, Kozma and Vivi tried a quick escape, but then the elevator's chain broke, crashing them down. Ender began to charge a warp blast that would take them up to the devastated Haven... "No, ENDER! DON'T DO IT! YOU'LL KILL YOURSELF!" Angie screamed, as the swarm began to corrupt the core, and then two giant towers rose up, going from the top of the clockworks to high above cradle, and merging after it surpassed haven.
A path impaled into a set of computers, blowing it up. Ender fired the blast, warping all 3 to haven.
***
"What is going on?!" Feron questioned, as the tower rose up. All the gates moved into the center, and the entire tower froze over in an invisible ice, making it impervious to all weaponry. Angie, Vivi and Kozma warped in. "I'll go change my stock to suit the expedition from the core all the way to the tower's top!" Kozma said, and she ran off.
The swarm had increased...and now who was going to clean up the mess?
Ender collapsed, the impact causing an Enamorock to fly into his hand. He began to recall all of his memories...Ender closed his eyes, waiting for the moment to die. But then he heard a voice.
"I am NOT going to let you die. Right here, right now."
***
In the sanctuary, 3 knights watched as the ground around them went corrupt. "Jump in the water to gain the power to fight back..." A voice called. They jumped in, and became blessed with the power of the Sanctuary.
THE END
Preview of Clockwork Catastrophe 3: The Tower of Shadows
Ender is being rebuilt in a mysterious labratory, Vivi and Angie find a new friend, and the 3 knights begin to seek out others with the power of the Sanctuary. Can they all unite to defeat the new enemy known as the swarm? And who is this mysterious "Max" person?
FIND OUT IN....
CLOCKWORK CATASTROPHE 3: THE TOWER OF SHADOWS
Coming April 2012!
Thu, 03/29/2012 - 13:31
#13
.
Well, you certainly have some interesting ideas here, but I would have liked to see more details, as Angie's conclusion that Tinkinzar was behind everything seemed a bit of a jump without them.
I do think that Chapter 7 was your best in this batch, as you used the nicest imagery there.
Thu, 03/29/2012 - 20:47
#14
Hm
It seems exciting and all, but a bit fast-pace for me really.
Don't mind my opinion too much. Like I said a few times before, I'm no expert.
Don't get me wrong, your story is really exciting, but there doesn't seem to be any downtime for the characters. No intermission, no chat scenes interrupted, nothing that doesn't involve something blowing up/someone threatening them...is that intentional?
That, AND YOU STOLE T3H STATUS LINK!!!
I NOT MAD!
SO Y I YERRING!?
/shrug. Nice to see someone likes my ideas enough to use them for their own lol.
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:15
#15
Thanks...
And I answer.
Tev, Tinkinzar supposedly killed Ender in the first part, so Angie went insane afterwards.
Psycho, I'm a bit sorry if I used your ideas. And I will have stuff blowing up, intermissions, and conversations being interrupted in part 3. Honest.
Also, I may draw what the Tower looks like, if anyone's willing to see what it looks like....
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:27
#16
Uh....
I thought I made it pretty clear in my last post that I didn't actually mind...I DID say:'I NOT MAD'
Emphasis on 'not'.
And I meant that you don't have stuff like intermissions and conversations etc, but more of just stuff blowing up.
As in you just have stuff blowing up, and no downtime stuff.
Ah well, your story, write it how you want. Not my place to tell you how to write it. :)
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:33
#17
Also, The question was:
Could I use Max (Codename one) in your fanfic? Because it's him who saved Ender. You could add that in Chapter 4 of Codename Part 3 once you get to it. Maybe Max tells everyone else to go and up and deals with Ender by himself...and takes him to an unknown lab.
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:45
#18
Um...?
Perhaps...I'll have to think about it...I may have to re-plan how I write Max's resurrection.
But sure, you can use Max. Be careful with him, and make sure he fits the stuff I wrote. Don't go into his history or future, because that's stuff I have planned. Just work with what you know.
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:49
#19
Okay, I know.
Yep :3 Also...wanna know who runs the lab? WAIT, I SHOULDN'T TELL.....hinty hint, you see him in Moorcroft.
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:57
#20
...
T3H creepy desk clerk.
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:00
#21
Nope.
Hint: He says the funniest quote in the game.
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:16
#22
HA
Konjuring Kat.
The quote gave him away.
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 19:03
#23
Yep.
In the story, he works at the lab, and Max calls him "Doc" FOR NO APPARENT REASON LOL
Anyway, Doc/Konjuring Kat Actually developed the Prominence cannon....So CC3 is gonna shed light on A bit of stuff in Codename, Plus a funny part in chapter 2...Angie gets married to Magnus. But then the wedding's crashed before Magnus can kiss the bride. Who does it? Find out.
....Do I keep relevating to a point where a knight is the cause of the swarm, and has refused to come back to Haven, like Arkus?
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 19:04
#24
And before you ask Psycho...
I am friends with Magnus;This is my way of saying "thank you" to him. By making a chapter with him in it.
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 21:10
#25
OI
The Prominence cannon was created by the CORE to equip Max with the tools he needs, for a purpose I have not yet revealed!
That, and I just remembered Max currently is incomplete. There are still some details I have yet to fill in, due to my absence of writing.
If you want, the Max you're going to use can be an alternate reality version of mine, so our ideas won't coincide. That way you can do whatever you want with him.
Sat, 03/31/2012 - 00:21
#26
Er...
I guess it was both mad genius and the core that made the cannon. But still, feel free to use how he was saved; because of a knight's effort. Also, CC3 is up.
Ender was moving through time...
and space... looking for Angie and Vivi. "Darn it, There NOWHERE to be found!" He said, after returning to the Sanctuary. But this was in the future. He saw 4 knights in the sanctuary. Ender went back to the time he was in. Ender No longer has his Ascended Calibur; Instead he fights with the Divine Avenger and Gran Faust. He wears the Blue Rose set as a Costume.
***
After a ton of arguing, Angie and Vivi went to the gates, and went down. They went to Depth 23, and decided to fight the Ice Queen. "We can get EVEN more power if we get some more materials and get powerful weapons!" Angie said. After defeating the queen and passing the passage, Ender suddenly felt the appearing of more knights, so he quickly move to the time before anyone knew the place. But when he saw it was Vivi and Angie...he reappeared.
"ENDER!" Angie shouted, running toward Ender and giving him a great big hug. "I thought I lost you forever!" She said. "Ok, That's enough Angie!" Ender said, shrugging her off. "Well, let's leave to get more power to get revenge." Angie said, and they left the Sanctuary.