Fanfics: The Businessman and The Rookie (Ch.5)

Applying a character for the story is possible, what I need is:
All characters must be Devillites of any kind except Pit Boss and Blarfuls.

Name of Character
Element
Accessories

Core Stat: (Intelligence/Agility/Charisma/Working)(One of them, unless you have a better suggestion)

Any Abilities

Brief Description of Character

--Example--
Name: Boris
Element: Shock
Accessories: Wears a Hawaiian shirt whether is boss likes it or not.

Core Stat: Intellegence

He used to be an actor for a movie, until they realized there were no theaters. Boris is the best at what he does and isn't known for a specific line that he said in that one movie.

P.S. Knights are possible to apply for in Chapter 2, there will be up to 5 Chapters total.

Good writing!

Name: Bigday
Element: Fire
Accessories: A nice tuxedo, slightly charred by his element. He also has a nice top hat.

Intelligence

He is very good with a ball of fire...

A very tricky little devil(ite) who loves sneaking his boss's cup saying "World's best boss". If proved wrong, you can start to see scorched holes in his tuxedo...

@Trymal Accepted, gotta get style points. And characters.
Note: The phearium from PheariumCorp is a new type of coffee. The boss makes everyone keep a Phearnut tree in their yard for maximum net gain. Sniffing it still induces fear into anything that isn't a Fiend, Undead, or Construct.

Part 2
Joseph's phone rang, he sipped his coffee, waited 5 seconds, then finally answered. "Helloooooooooo."

"Underboss, we have a problem here. The elevator's moving I think a hostile is inbound." It was Jimsem calling.

"Okay, Jimsem Jim. I'll be there after I drink some coffee." *slurp*

"It's not Jimsem, it's B-" *beep* "After my coffee break, Johnson."

-PheariumCorp North Entrance-

Bigday was standing at the entrance, holding a swivel chair and boss Lutz's Mug of Misery, was an obvious "World's best boss" written on it, filled to the brim with scalding hot phearium coffee. He gives a dirty look to the approaching Joseph.

"Alright Johnson, whaddaya want. *slurp* "Ugh, I need to stop drinking." Joseph simply drops his cup on the asphalt, causing it to shatter and spill the coffee everywhere.

Bigday facepalmed, "For the last time, un-der-boss, my name is Bigday! It even says it on my name tag!"

Joseph gave himself 15 seconds to look at the name tag at a distance of about 1 centimeter. It was a wide line of swirls and doodles. It was cursive.
*ahem* "That there is a terrible excuse of writing, how did you get hired? Just because you wear a tuxedo and a hat of rabbits doesn't mean that everybody should hire you." Joseph chuckles after saying that.

Bigday places the chair down and sits on it. "Ugh, Joseph... Don't you know... It's called cursive. It's an elaborate form of writing for fancy people. The name tag and my slightly singed tuxedo-" he says while straightening his tie, "-and of course the hat, yells out the word, 'fancy' to people." He smirked slightly and took a quick glance at the mug he was carrying.

*whirrrrrr* The elevator suddenly starts descending to their level.

"Alright, Bigday, if that's your name. Who's coming down the elevator?" Joseph said as he picks up one of the metal blocks off the ground and aims it towards the elevator.

Bigday reads his danger evaluator, which had a bright shade of yellow. "Erm... We might have code yellow. It says there's a 66% chance that there is an anthropomorphic Wolver and Chromalisk heading down here in about 14, no wait 11 seconds."

"Code YELLOW you say? We are so screwed." Joseph said as he lowered the block, staring at the slow elevator.

"Don't worry about it, we only had about 3 casualties last month from code red." said Bigday nervously.

They came down the elevator, the wolver and the chromalisk were standing on two legs and they had wooden sticks with glowing edges, wooden shields with glowing dots, and metal bracers with buttons on them. Code Yellow.

They didn't seem to take interest in the two devilites standing behind the barricade of wooden crates and stopped to open the box and take out their shadow resist gear.

"GET THEM!" Joseph screamed as he threw the metal block at the chromalisk. The impact caused its face to get slammed on the arsenal and get knocked out. The bracer started sparking slightly.

"Umm... Uhh..." Bigday looks at Lutz's coffee cup for a moment, then throws the chair and the coffee cup at the remaining wolver. It hits the giant wolver im the back of the head, knocking him off balance and setting him on fire. In a blue flash, the wolver disappears after pressing a button on the bracer. But not before yelling several profanities.

The chromalisk was knocked out cold. Bigday snickers slightly and says "Well, at least this time boss will believe my excuse about his missing mug of misery."

Funny! Love your writing!

Part 3
"Okay Joseph, I'll just tell boss about his broken coffee cup. You can just... something with the dinosaur over there." Bigday sweeps the fragments of the cup that Joseph dropped off the ledge and walks off.

Joseph stared at the chromalisk. He lifted up it's head and got a good look at it's face. "Hmm... it's definitely a space alien, he doesn't look derpy enough." He dials up Ike to bring him an intern.

-DD Trojan Summoning Grounds/Prison-

"Wow, I'm finally doing something other than shoveling coal! I love my job." says the intern. "Another day, another nickel!"

"What's a nickel?" says Joseph, who was carrying the knight by just one of it's legs.

The intern took the suit's add-on tongue and stuffed it inside the mask. "I don't know, but I hear other knights say it."

"So that's why you look like a Devil-IT without the glasses, you're an intern from Krogmo's coliseum. How did you get fired?" Joseph had given up hope on carrying any part of the knight and starting walking alongside the intern.

He was now dragging the limp body really slowly with his 1 inch legs and arms. "Well... Oof. I spilled... a soda... on a Mewkaaaohh crap-" he collapsed under the weight of the knight. "Why won't you help me?" he asked.

Joseph chucked a Jelly Gem fragment into his mouth. "Because, as Co-Boss I get paid more and work less. As intern you work more and get paid less. Now move faster, unless you want to be turned into a Gorgo."

After about 20 minutes the intern finally chucks the knight in a metal cage without waking him up. The intern leaves for a coffee break while mumbling about unfair work conditions.

Joseph throws a chair at the cage, waking the knight. "Rise and shine, dinosaur! You have paperwork to fill out!"

"Oh, crap." Says the knight. "What? Why do I have to fill out paperwork!?" He yanks on the cell bars.

"Because you activated code yellow. Code yellow is the most dangerous-est code in the Devilite society, don't you feel the dangerous-ity in the word?" He held up the danger handbook close to the knight's face.

"I thought code red was the most dangerous." remarked the knight. "You guys look so short. How did a bunch of wimps like you capture me, Green Whiskers the level 5 knight?"

Joseph threw a bunch of contracts in the cell. "Alright, Whiskers, the level 5 knight. Just fill out the life insurance contracts and we'll release you. Okay?"

Whiskers doesn't move a muscle. "But I don't need life insurance, I have emergency revivals from the Spiral Order!" he says, tapping his Cobalt Crest.

"You don't understand, Whiskers." Ike walked in, while holding the knight's fiery sprite by it's tail. "You're insuring us, should you magically come back we'll place a tax rune on your backpack. If you kill any of us, it comes out of your paycheck too."

"NEVER! Drago, destroy them!" The drakon fired a fireball aimed at Joseph. It however, flies over him and into one of their Moonstone crystals, hardly cracking it.
"Oh jeez, fine, I'll sign your stupid contract." He starts filling in the blank spaces in the contract slowly but surely.

Ike turns his attention to the underboss. "Why didn't you report this code yellow in to the boss?" Joseph didn't seem to be paying attention.

"Every time code yellow or green happens, I have to file a report. I don't want to write papers about oversized animals attacking our company." Joseph walks away to fetch some coffee. "Shock him and toss him on the elevator when he's done. And don't take the time to verify the papers."

Whiskers throws the papers out of the cell. "Okay, can I leave now?"

Ike turned back around to the dinosaur in the cage. "Yeah, sure." He throws a spoon at Whiskers, shocking him and making his eyes see stars.
"Hmm... Hey! Unnamed intern! I could use some help here!"

/laugh

If you want to be a normal Devilite or a Yesman, then insert Dark and Light respectively for your elements.

And also I probably need some more variety in characters other than 1 Devilite, 1 Devil-IT, and 2 Firebranders.
So that means apply characters or watch people apply characters; get to it!

Name of Character, red (but his friends call him Fury)
Element, fire
Accessories volcanic munition pack, fire vial bandolier, volcanic spiralhorns
Core Stat: feisty and grumpy +> (edit) Madness and (extremly dangerous) bravery

hes an expert bomber and rather loud when going into combat and a mercenary by heart (core stat is kinda skill now)

AARGHHEEELL ILL BLAST YO EAD BACK TO THE SEWER STASH WHERE YOU BELONG *throws bomb* ~Red: in an attempt too scare away a mice in his cave mansion

simple yet such potential enjoy

edited hope this is better

Okay I think I'm gonna need a bit more than that.
Core Stat means the character's highest attribute, such as Intelligence, Agility, Charisma, and Skill.

It's optional, but you can put down some skills if you want.

If you don't want to put more description in your personality, then give me a quote from your character.

So get to it! Work hard or turn into an ugly firegut, and after that the workforce will kick your arse with their N/S Swords.

Okay. Good job/hail to the king.
Unfortunately I work for a gremlin that Wears a mask and holds a giant Hammer. Sorry.
The episode will likely be posted 26 hours from now. Because my laptop is acting up.

Other people reading: Apply damnit. Just because I'm a wizard doesn't mean that I can mind control my audience.
SO apply!...

Other people reading: Apply damnit. Just because I'm a wizard doesn't mean that I can mind control my audience.
SO apply!...

Err... sure

Name : Ur (Don't look at me, I'm not good with names)
Element : Ice
Accessories : A deep blue scarf around his neck, a white winter jacket, and a pair of black shades with a cigar.

Core Stat : Wisdom (Decition making skill, High IQ, basically a sherlock holmes. I beleive intellegence is for memorizing.)

Ability : Launching potent sarcasm whenever he can. Mind guessing (not reading, just a guess).

Description: Someone who is smart enough to backoff pitbosses to corner, because of that he always ends up working overtime as punishment. Dislikes the yesman, thingking they are just a lazy pig that hangs around the boss charisma. Likes coffee so much he always have one in his pocket (Don't ask how he can keep it without spilling).

@Spirals-Ore
I'm gonna change your guy's name to Ulvi, Turkish for "exalted, high". Which I just searched up.
Hope you don't mind!

The only wizardy thing that I can do is fire missiles from my Luminite Chunk in a Wrench. But that still qualifies as wizardry.

@Spirals-Ore - Hooray, now I'll find some way to mind control my audience...
Part 4
Joseph was being chased by a giant jelly cube with a crown on it. It moved really fast for a block of gelatin.
It threw many spikes at him, most of them landing very close to him.

“Go away! Get out of here you dumb monster! Frick! How are heck are you moving so fast?”

It kept chasing after him, moving at about 10 squares pet second. It was getting very close, about to envelop him.

Joseph turned around and pulled out a Gran Faust, and did a leaping slam on the jelly with the sword.
The impact looked very impressive; the power of the shadow melted some of the area that it struck, then the sword dissolved.

“Aw crap.” The jelly slammed into Joseph, causing him to fall flat on his face, breaking his skull.

“NO! Oh, ****. It was just a dream. Oh jeez, I need more coffee.” Joseph hopped off his mattress and went to get some morning coffee.

-DD PheariumCorp Offices-
Joseph flipped the switch on the message transmitter. *ahem* “Alright, everyone. Since the boss in on vacation I’m in charge here. Some slimes have infiltrated. Bring out your self-defense firearms and rally up at the gate.” Joseph thought for a moment. “Oh yeah, and they’re not cardboard boxes.”

-Meanwhile, about 123 squares away…-
Bigday was thinking… No he wasn’t. “Alright guys; if the underboss says that there are slimes coming right this very moment, so that means we have to stop them!”

Ike was the one thinking. “Why would he mention cardboard boxes?”

Mark was on to something. “They don’t have cardboard boxes in the underworld, so clearly the slimes are using our packages to sneak in, obviously!”

Red’s thoughts from others had finally given him a conclusion: “Don't ya bleeding idiots know anything!? The slimes are coming! We're gonna flush those slimy menaces down the bloody toilet!" He pulled out his questionably Ionized Salt Bomb.

Bigday stood on a book for extra height and might and said: “Okay, that means pull out your Shadow Blasters; we have code yellow! Everyone in front of me: in case you didn’t hear, we have code yellow!”

-PheariumCorp Main Offices Dumpster Chute-
Ulvi was taking out the excess cardboard boxes from P.Corp's other inventions and was chucking them over near the edge off the cliff. So he could chuck them off and get on with his day.

He was taking extra care to keep his scarf on his face, because the smell of the inconveniently placed dumpster was nearby.

"Damnit Lutz. I just wanted a raise." He sipped his coffee and started throwing out some pink boxes. "Was that too much to ask? Seriously, I deserve it after all of this redundant work that I've been doing."

He sips his coffee one more time and then stuffs it in his jacket. *screeee* "Alright everyone, since boss is on Vacation-" Vacation? What a day, Ulvi whispers "Yes!" And leaves while the boxes are still in the middle of the street.

-PheariumCorp West Entrance-
"-and that, my friends, is how we'll save the day!" Bigday had finished his long world-saving speech.

Ike intervened. "What about the part about where we dodge the slime attack?"

"Yeh! And the part where we turn those repugnant disciples of the royal jelly into our sandwiches!?" Red yelled.

Bigday thought for a second. "Yeah! Uhh... Pretend I put those parts in. Fury, I suggest that you eat something before we initiate code yellow." He tosses a Jelly Gem at Red, who eats it.

"Who put you in charge, Bigs?" Mark said. He shoved Mark off his dictionary and stepped onto it. "Some dastardly slimes aren't anything we can't handle, right guys? I mean just a few lousy T2 slimes speak code purple instead of code yellow to us." Mark looked at Bigday, who was standing up. "That's how you do a speech, Bigs."

Ike explained. "Well Mark, you hardly do anything useful. You either do prank phone calls or play poker in your free time."
Red gave his opinion. "Yeh, you ain't been useful ah-tall. Bigs 'ere, he gave me a grand piece o' candy!"

Bigday smiled and picked up the book that Mark reluctantly stepped off of. "Umm... guys, I see some slimes over there!"

The party turned their attention towards the cardboard- *ahem* I mean slimes and started firing rapidly at the big pack of slimes. "TAKE THIS, you fishy BLOCKHEAD!" Red throws his salt Bomb at the slimes, it explodes several times creating a mess.

"Hey hold up guys!" Ike yelled. "These are cardboard boxes." He picked one up, and threw it over the ledge.

Everyone ceased fire. This was probably a ruse set up by Joseph for some nefarious purpose, but what?
Find out next time on-

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Somebody help meeeeee!" They looked at Ulvi, who was being chased by a pile of mercury.

"'Ave somma this, you bitter ice cream scoop!" Red ran to intercept the quicksilver.

"No Red-Fury, don't! That's a quicksilver!" *zap* the Bomb exploded inside the quicksilver, causing it to spasm, then go on a frenzy.

It bumps into Ulvi, causing him to stumble slightly, his shades fell and broke. "Come on, guys! Do something! You have guns, so shoot it!" He turned around and threw a snowball at it, freezing it in place.

Bigday picked up a chair and slammed it into the frozen metal mash, shattering it. It evaporates, leaving a Freezing Edge and a few crowns. "Okay, I guess Joseph wasn't up to an evil plan after all."

Joseph walked in, now walking a neckerchief and holding a black Umbral Blaster. "Hey guys what'd I miss?" He gets a good look at the mess of boxes everywhere and says: "Yeah... we should probably clean this up before boss comes back."

"Grr....." Ulvi reluctantly started picking up scraps of cardboard.

Part 5 Special: Campfire Stories
[Joseph, Ike, Bigday, Red, and Ulvi are gathered around a fire.]
Joseph: Alright kids, you ready for some Campfire Stories of the year?

Ulvi: I'm older than you. -lights cigar-

Joseph: Big deal. It's an expression.

Ike: Just start already.

Red: Yeh! We don't be having time to wait for an hour!

Joseph: Alright shush it. Now what was it... -eats Jelly Gem- Have you heard the legends of the mighty and powerful being that roams this world? It is called Cramerax the invincible. Legends say that it's

Ulvi: That's the wrong dimension.

Bigday: Heh Heh. Okay Joseph say something that actually somewhat exists this time.

Joseph: Alright you incessant complainers. New legend: The Minus World. It's a lake that you can breathe in. There's only one way in, and one way out. If you reach the end of the deadly perils that await you in there, you will restart doing the Minus World all over again. And again, and again and again and againnnnnnn!

Red: Wait a sec. Is this the legend of the jumping janitor you're speaking in tongues about, boy?

Ike: Actually yeah, it is... That's also in another dimension...

Joseph: YES! IT IS! You wanted to hear about some legends didn't you!? I gave you them with the spookiest atmosphere that I could possibly give!

Ulvi: It would have been spookier if you turned the nearby lampposts off.

Joseph: We can't turn them off! They're going to be on for eternity you idiot!

Ulvi: -sips coffee- Well that's very conservative.

Joseph: Fine, if you want to that way, Red, you tell the stories since you're apparently a know-it-all!

Ike: But I'm supposed to be the know-it-all.

Bigday: -whispers- He's just steamed at our positive remarks, that's all.

Red: Silence, ya louts! You'll now be hearing Fury's astounding stories of monsters!

Joseph: Get on with it.

Red: Alright, *ahem* it is well known that there is a massive energy source in our planet called... The core... and near it, a horde of dastardly deviant demons called the swarm! But what isn't known... Is that they're poor!

Ike: I thought everything but us, Gremlins, and those space aliens were poor?

Bigday: Monsters love shiny things, even if they are dead or gelatinous.

Ulvi: Heh, I found 50 crowns on the Greaver that attacked my tree yesterday.

Joseph: Stupid Mark.

Red: Anyways, they're unstoppable, giving them the terrifying name of The Swarm! Ye kill one of 'em, and there'll be 10 more behind her back waiting to stab your heart through. *ahem* Now how was that, lads?

Bigday: It was kinda short... but it had a lot more atmosphere than Joseph's knick-knack stories. I think he's been playing too much games.

Ulvi: Oh its not a big deal... He doesn't play even a little bit of games because he's our underboss.

Joseph: Well umm...

Ulvi: He plays a lot.

Ike: -laughs- Ha ha! Nice. Alright, who wants to start another story?

Ulvi: I got a good one.

Red: Indeed it will be, but I don't think it'll match the suspense of mine.

Bigday: Whatever guys, we're here for fun, not competitive literature, right? Who cares if underboss plays a too many games?

Joseph: ...

Bigday: Its all about fun.

Ulvi: Yeah, thanks, Bigs. We know you steal the boss's cup regularly. Now without further ado... Now, following up on Fury's legend about the swarm, which IS true. There are Shadow Lairs, one of which is called the Shadow Royal Jelly Palace for some reason. The big cheese of the palace is none other than the frigid Ice Queen and her spiky minions. And if anyone goes down into her palace, they're probably gonna die. Several times. Alright that was all I got I couldn't think of anything else

Red: You tried, lad. Freeze themed Jelly surely is dangerous. Luckily we live about 11 depths above that dark place.

Ulvi: Well, guys. I think it's a little late. I'm going home.

Joseph: Umm... We don't know what time it is here.

Ike: Yeah, and all we have are Break timers, which just have timers for working 20 hours and having 6 hour breaks.

Ulvi: Whatever, I am still tired.

Joseph: Seeya then. Alright guys, want to hear another story from me?

Bigday: No!

Part 6a
Ulvi was in his apartment, watching TV. It was pretty regular of a thing to do. His phone rings.
"Ulvi here." He takes a Jelly Gem from his pantry and starts munching on it.

"This is boss Lutz. I'm gonna need you to come to my office."

Ulvi chucked the other half of the Gem into his mouth. "Why can't you just tell me right now? Your elevator takes 2 minutes to get to your flat.'

Lutz grunted. "Deal with it."

-DD PheariumCorp Main Building Penthouse-
"Okay boss, what is it." Ulvi said while closing the door behind him.

Lutz lights a cigar, scowling at Ulvi, who lit his in response. "Alright boy, I'm gonna need you to deliver the package to Moorcroft."

"I'm pretty sure you ordered Bigs to do it."

"Well as you can see... Bigs had an accident. He's in the medbay temporarily."

Ulvi sighs. "Why, what happened to him? And I also don't see anything indicating his incapacitation."

"A Rock Jelly attacked him and wounded him. That's about it. So deliver the package, got it?" Ulvi took the package and turned to leave. "One more thing, I think you'll need one of these guns."
He laid out a Freezing Pulsar and Tundrus on the table. "You'll probably need one of these."

"Slow bullets, and slow firerate. Is that about it?" Ulvi said, displeased.

Lutz got ticked off slightly and stood up. "Alright, try the Tundrus. It has a high damage and high bullet speed, and it also freezes!"

Ulvi didn't care that much. "Yes boss, I think a gun that a 10-pound kickback will be perfect for me."

Lutz sat back in his chair. "Okay, then take the Freezing Pulsar. The explosions are very effective."

"No boss, I think a standard issue Shadow Blaster will be fine. But why can't I get something cool like Joseph's gun?" Ulvi said.

Lutz took his cigar out and crushed it in his hands. "Fine you ungrateful scumbag, and if you want to know why Joseph has better equipment, its because as Co-Boss he gets to work less and get paid more."

-Continuing Later.-

I snickered once or twice, you play the devilites role really well. Keep up

Part 6b
-DD PheariumCorp Main Street-

Yeller the Yesman walked out of the shadows while Ulvi was walking. “What do you want you little brat.” Ulvi said.

Yeller smirked. “Orders from the boss. Says I have to keep watch on you so that you don’t cause trouble again.” He jumped up and grabbed the cigar from Ulvi’s mouth, who failed to shove Yeller back.

“Ugh, you dumb…!” Ulvi was steamed. He looked like he was about to strangle Yeller, but regained his composure. “Don’t get in my way, kid.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, I get paid more than you.” Yeller said while pointing at Ulvi.

Ulvi chuckled slightly. “Want to know why? Because you’re just a baby.”

-DD Apartment Block 9, Ulvi’s Flat-

Ulvi stuffed the package in a satchel, and proceeded to take his Shadow Blaster and Freezing Edge with him. “Alright, boy. Let’s get this over with.”

“Sure thing, sub-courier.” Yeller said.

Ulvi pulled out his handgun and shot Yeller in the chest, knocking him down. “You’re not gonna cause trouble either, kid. Like heck I can handle an imbecile like you for more than an hour.”

Yeller stood up, holding his chest in pain. “We’ll see about that, Ulvi.”

-D10: Disabled Drowning Traces-

“-so then I found an Alpha Wolver in my backyard, and I of course shoot it, and the boss promotes me to the new Yesman! Pretty neat, huh?”

“I can’t handle any more of your damn stories! You think I want to hear all about how you became a freeloader? HUH?” Ulvi shouted at Yeller, who didn’t seem to care.

Yeller frowned. “What else am I supposed to do?”

Ulvi loaded a cylindrical ice block into his gun. “Maybe if you would shut your mouth you would get paid a little more.”

-D9: Reloading Drowning Traces-

“Are we there yet?” Yeller asked, panting after walking for a simple 15 minutes.

Ulvi didn’t turn his head. “What’s that gonna do if I tell you? Will it stop your incessant bantering? No, it won’t.”

Yeller started eating a pepper. “Eh. What’s in that package anyway?”

“Are you that stupid. I don’t even- its coffee. We make coffee; what did you expect?” said Ulvi, who stopped to drink his own coffee and light a cigar.

Yeller didn’t stop. “What’s that ice cube that you put in your gun?”

“Shut up. I’m trying to rewire this elevator.” Said Ulvi, who was rewiring the elevator to try and make it move up.

-Ding!-

-D8: Moorcroft Manor-

There was a knight waiting impatiently, tapping his foot. “Took you long enough.”

“Oh what do you know, another knight wanting to get some Jelly Gems with this coffee because it has salt in it. Why don’t you ever drink it?” Ulvi asked.

The knight took the package and gave Ulvi 1,000 crowns. “It’s phearium, its gonna kill us if we drink it.”

Yeller started inputting coordinates on his device. “Okay, im going back. Seeya.” Yeller disappears in a flash of purple.

Ulvi smiled slightly. “Finally. Now I don’t have to deal with his incessant idiocy.” He stepped on the elevator and slammed his hand on the button.

-Meanwhile, in the Sickbay-
Red was beating Bigday in Ping, with a score of 1098-14.
"Ha, another point! What say you to that, Bigday?"

Bigday slowly turned his head towards Red. "It's not because you're the almighty Fury, its because my left hand is broken."

Red spoke: "Not a good excuse I must say, to be-"

"Shut up, Red! I'm stuck in a bed for weeks and I can't drink coffee while I'm at it! You don't understand because you're not a courier who constantly gods through the dangerous depths of the Clockworks to deliver coffee!" Bigday yelled.

Red turned off the TV. "Okay lad, we'll see if your Ping skills are good later, then?"

"Yes. Obviously."

Fun Fact: Intellegence is spelled Intelligence.
You probably won't remember that.

Sidenote: The chapter is near it's end. If you put in a character applicaton now, they will be marked as trivial and will usually make 1-2 appearances. Thank you for reading whatever I pull out.
-------------------------
Part 7: Joseph has to deal with a kid.

-2 Weeks Ago, Unknown Location-

Gramps: So, kids… want to hear about a brand new legend?
Girl: Yeah!
Man: Again? Don’t you have anything better to do than sit down and just talk?
Gramps: You don’t need to be so rude, it’s for the kids.
Man: …
Girl: Can I hear it now?
Gramps: Sure! Alright, let me think… Oh yes it was that one. It is said, that there is a town of Gremlins called Emberlight. There is a person in there who roams around the clockworks and saves abandoned animals called Nonna.
Man: Emberlight does exist.
Girl: Wow! That sounds so cool!
Gramps: Wait. I think I heard something.
Man: I’ll go check it out.

-Present Time, Reloading Drowning Traces-

“Hello Bigs, hello?” Ulvi said into his phone.

“This is Fury speaking, who’s talkin here?” Ulvi frowned.

“Red, I want to talk to Bigday.” Ulvi said, standing on the elevator.

He heard someone else talking. “Hey don’t disconnect the charger, Red put it back-“*beep* “Oh great. Now I have no one to help me with the elevators.”

Ulvi looked at a peculiarly placed cardboard box. “That’s strange.” He pulled out his gun and slowly walked towards the box.

He took a sip of his coffee and kicked the box over, revealing a Hoptimer with what seemed to be an abnormally large bowtie on the back of xer head.

“Stay back! Go away!” she yelled.

“Calm down, kid.” Ulvi snatched the Tenderfoot wand that she was holding. “What’s a little kid like you doing in a cardboard box, in the middle of nowhere?”

She didn’t answer.

“Okay then. I’ll keep you safe. But boss doesn’t like kids around the place, even that dolt Yeller. But maybe…”

-DD Apartment Block 9: Joseph’s Flat-

Joseph took a big sip of his coffee while still playing his video games. “What makes you think that I won’t tell the boss that you brought a kid here?”

“Well, for starters, you’re a terrible Co-Boss; you slack around all day and play video games.” Ulvi replied.

Joseph’s character died in the game. He paused it and stood up. “Why do you have to throw this on me? Can’t you ask anyone else?”

Ulvi lit a cigar, causing the girl to back up near the door. “Red has mental issues, Big is in the hospital, and Ike works all day.”

Joseph drank the rest of his coffee. “Fine, I’ll take care of the kid. But she better not be an idiot.”

-DD Sickbay-

Red had finally left, and Bigday managed to charge his phone. “Okay Ulvi, hello?”

“Just want to let you know, that I had to take over your job. While I was on break!”

Bigday ate one of the hospital cookies. “Mmf. Well I’ll make it up to you somehow. After I get out of this place.”

“Yes, by going to Joseph’s place and helping him with whatever crap he’s dealing with.” Ulvi hangs up.

-DD Apartment Block 9: Joseph’s Flat-

“Can I eat this candy?” The girl said. She looked at the glass jar of Jelly Gems in Joseph's fridge.

“Nope.” Joseph kept failing on the same level over and over again.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” she asked.

Joseph still couldn’t beat the level. “I don’t know. Maybe tell me why you in a cardboard box in the middle of nowhere?”

The girl started munching on some of the cookies from Joseph’s cookie jar, which had Rubbish written on it. “I was listening to campfire stories when Gremlins attacked my town! I escaped in a box; and waited.”

“For what?”

“You know, haven’t you heard of the legend of Nonna of Emberlight?”

Joseph turned off his TV because he was getting sick of losing. “It’s a legend, which means it probably isn’t true. The legend of the swarm: It’s real because the aliens tell us all about it.”

-Ding Dong!-

“This is Bigs here. Ulvi asked me to help you with something.” -knock knock knock-

”Oh goody!” Joseph quickly answered the door. Bigday walked in and started drinking his own coffee.

Bigday took a quick glance at the girl and said: “What’s with the kid?”

Joseph started to mix coffee into his PheariumCorp brand coffee maker. “Well, Ulvi found her when he was delivering a package. And now I have to deal with her.”

“Alright, what’s her name?”

“Hmmm… I don’t know.”

“Seriously? You’ve been saying ‘The Girl’ all day, haven’t you?” Big says as he puts a white cup and purple mug on the coffee table.

Joseph pressed the only button on the machine. “Yeah I have called the kid ‘The Girl’ for the past 15 minutes. Hey, little girl, what’s your name.”

“Kiera.”

“Okay, Bigs, just stand there and make sure that Kiera doesn’t eat my Jelly Gems. I need to go buy some more coffee.” Joseph walked out, leaving Bigday watching TV while Kiera just ate from the cookie jar.

I've created about 7 parts of this and I've only received feedback from two people.
I'm not even sure if anyone is even paying attention. Please tell me that you are paying attention if you were so that I don't feel like my work isn't doing anything.

Personally, yes, I have been reading this. It's a decent story so far.

Please do not stop, if that's what you're saying! This story is awesome! (:
Love Bigday, he's awesome, thanks. I like it how you make everyone have a huge part in the story-line! Great writing!

Thanks guys, it really means a lot to me. (It doesn't, really. I have about zero emotions. And I would've posted an episode anyway.)
Just my dark side of no emotion, guys. Don't worry about it. (The person talking to you before is probably my drunk side.)
By the way guys, here's the list of Chapters with the amount of episodes in em.
Chapter 1: 10 Ep.
Chapter 2: 08 Ep.
Chapter 3: 10 Ep.
Chapter 4: 07 Ep.
Chapter 5: 05 Ep.

Thanks, drunk side.
XD

Part 8: Castle Inspection

-DD Apartment Block 2-

Ike walked up to the trapdoor inside Apartment Block 2. He knocked on it twice.

“Who is it?” Someone answered.

“This is the medical inspector. It’s Ike.” Red opened up the door for him and Ike clambered in.

Ike put on a medical mask and faced Red. “So, Fury. What’s the problem?”

“It’s a very dastardly threat, Ike! There is a nest of evil biting rabbits in me castle!”

Ike looked around the cave. “Err… it’s very… spacious. Rabbits?”

“Yes! There are dust bunnies strewn about my castle! Ye have to stop ‘em!” Red said as he started shaking Ike.

“Alright, I’ll take care of it. What class are these ‘dust bunnies’ from?” Ike set down his bag and starting rummaging through it.

Red raised his arms over Ike’s head like some generic spooky monster. “The beasts! It’s those code yellow demons!”

Ike pulled out a can of spray with a purple tag on it. “Beasts, you say? Well, I don’t have any needle spray. Phearium Spray should do the job though.”

“Good! Go and slay all of those evil mites!” Red said, as he pointed towards the bowels of his cave/castle.

Ike shook up the can while slowly walking towards Red’s throne room. “I thought we were supposed to be evil. Y’know, shadow based chair attacks?” He glanced at Red’s bandolier. “Can’t you just use your fire vials? It’s fire. It can probably burn fur.”

Red shoved Ike forward. “Just get on with it! Before they multiply into hordes of the swarm’s minions!”

Ike looked around. He saw a normal carpet and a very furry throne. “Is that your throne, Fury? To show everyone how powerful you are by skinning wolvers?”

“No, lad! That’s a bunch of dust bunnies sticking all over MY throne! Get them, Devil-Ike! GET ‘EM!” Red yelled, pointing at the pack of dust bunnies.

Ike set his spray can to Long-Range and started spraying at the dust bunnies. They all took little bits of damage a lot, creating a huge amount of noise. Ike drops the spray can and starts covering his ears. “Arrrgh! It’s too loud! I can’t deal with this!”

Red pulls out his Rock Salt bomb. “Okay then, lad. Try this on for size.”

“You should’ve given me that earlier.” Ike says as he snatches the bomb. He primes it and throws it at the chair, and then covers his ears.
The bomb explodes several times, creating a lot of noise. Enough noise to force Red to cover his ears too. Even if they did have 2 oversized horns blocking them.

The dust bunnies fly everywhere, disintegrating as soon as they touched the surfaces and dropping heat and copper crowns everywhere.

One of them collides into Red, breaking one of his vials, which starts to catch onto his rug.

“My grand carpet! Ike! Take care of it! It might burn my throne!” Red said as he grabbed Ike, who was covering his ears and closing his eyes.

“Okay. Sure.” Ike sprays the fire with the can of Phearium. He glanced at the throne. “Your throne is made of granite and darkmatter. It can’t burn. Oh yeah, and wash your carpet later. It might disintegrate also."

Ike proceeds to leave Red’s ‘castle’ when he sees a white figure sprint by outside. Joseph calls. “Hey Ike...? Did you see a pinkish devillite anywhere?”

“Hmmm… possibly.” Ike says, leaving the building to investigate.

Nice.

Part 9: Emberlight Fiends

-6 Minutes Ago, Apartment Block 9: Joseph’s Flat-

Bigday was playing on Joseph’s game system. And was beating all the levels that Joseph failed to do. Kiera was still eating from the cookie jar.

“C’mon… take that! Heh heh. Is this supposed to be hard? I can’t believe Joseph failed at something like this.” Bigday said, drinking from his coffee cup while playing.

“Can I go to Emberlight?” Kiera said.

Bigday quit after beating the chapter final and said: “Nope, it’s way too far away. And it’s wolver season. You have to wait for the Clockworks to cycle around.”

“That doesn’t mean anything, if we believe we can make it, we can!” she replied.

Bigday almost drank from Lutz’s coffee cup, then drank from his own one. “As if. You’re about 4. And this weapon that you picked up, isn’t even a weapon. This is a magic stick.” He said, waving the wand around.

“I’m 5.” Kiera took a paper from the PheariumCorp brand paper dispenser, and started doodling on it.

“Big deal. You’re drawing pictures. That means that you’re too young for any of this.” Bigday started to spin his handgun around, dropping it after 2 seconds. “What are we gonna do with you? Joseph probably doesn’t like you. And it’s against the rules for random kids to be loitering.”

*chik… click!* “I’m back...!” Joseph opened the door and walked in without closing it, holding a bag of ground phearium.

“Is that the only thing you drink?” Kiera said, eyeing the bag suspiciously.

“Mmmmmm… pretty much. We don’t have water around here.” Bigday said.

Kiera pointed out of the window. “But there’s a fire hydrant right there!”

Joseph looked at the fire hydrant. “We don’t know how to use those things.” He looked at his TV for a moment, which said Level 4-9 brightly on the screen. “What the heck? How did you complete the levels?” Joseph said to Bigday.

Bigday scratched his head. “Uhh… did you use the Lock-On button?”

“Lock-On? What’s that?” Joseph said with a nonchalant tone.

“Well… you need to tap the Right Trigger to-“

“Hey, where’s the kid?” Joseph stepped forward and looked around.

Bigday pointed very closely to Joseph’s face. “Great, this wouldn’t have happened if you had read the instructions.”

-Apartment Section B Zone-

“…Joseph? Was that a kid?” Ike said, opening the front door of the apartment building and glancing around.

“Bigs, move it! Catch the girl before she causes some trouble!” “You need to stop calling the girl the girl. It’s Kiera.”

Ike hung up. “Aw crap.” He ran outside to look for white-pink devillite.

-Apartment Section A Zone-

Ulvi looked out of his window because he heard something rather suspicious. He saw Kiera running around on the street. “Damnit, Bigs. You had one job.”

He packed up his gear and ran to the elevator.

He dialed up Joseph, even though the loud elevator music would probably overpower anything that he would have to say. “Joseph? Pick up!”

“Argh! What the hell is that noise? The #$&@ is wrong with you!?” Joseph yelled.

The elevator finally arrived at F1 and Ulvi ran out the front door. “Joseph, the kid is roaming on the streets, what’s wrong with you?”

“Don’t blame me. Bigs was just telling me about the wonders of locking on!”

Ulvi bumped into something, knocking him, his shades, and his cigar down.

He looked up to see Ike, who didn’t break his glasses, luckily. “Ulvi! Watch where you’re going, you could’ve broken my glasses.”

“Your glasses are indestructible.” He helped Ike up. “You gotta help me, there’s a kid running amok.”

Ike pulled out a scope and started looking around the perimeter. “Why did you bring a kid here? If we don’t catch her, we’ll have to fill out copious amounts of unnecessary paperwork.”

“It’s a normal thing. If you see a kid, what do you do?” Ulvi asked.

Ike put his scope away. “I would chuck him slash her on an elevator to Moorcroft.” Ike started walking to the end elevator. “The kid is over there, she’s trying to activate the elevator.”

“She can’t do that. Kids can’t activate elevators. All they do annoy everyone and don’t work.” Ulvi took a big gulp of his coffee and adjusted his renewed cigar.

“Hey wait! Hold up!” *huff, pant* It was Bigday, out of steam and boiling all of the sweat that appeared on his fancy suit. “Red… he said that there’s an alien moving around… and we have Code Red.”

Ike kept walking towards Kiera. “Code Red is nothing. We had Code Yellow last time and you and Joseph did fine. Where did the kid go?”

Suddenly, the anthropomorphic wolver from 7 episodes ago leaps out of apparently nowhere and does a downward slam on Ike, who dives over the wall of unbreakable blocks. “He’s back!”

Ulvi charged his Freezing Edge and unleashed his attack on the Wolver. Surprisingly, it froze him on the spot. “Okay guys; hit him before he unfreezes in about 2 seconds!”

Bigday leaped up onto his helmet and pumped him three times in the head with a Shadow Blaster. He tries firing a fourth time, but it fizzles and releases some smoke. “I think my gun is overheated.” The alien throws Bigday off.

Ulvi tosses Bigday an Ice Block, who loads it into his gun and fires at the Wolver, knocking it out.

Ike climbed over the wall. “Umm… I think it has auto revive. Give me one of those Ice Cubes.” Ike loaded an Ice Block into his Voltech Mk2, and then uses a combat knife to stab a part of the Wolver’s clothing into the ground.

“Get a better gun, guys.” He fires 3 shots of electric things into the Wolver, who revived without getting back up.

Bigday walked towards the elevator. “Kiera! I told you it was too dangerous! Come out now!”

Kiera peeked out from behind the elevator, with strange blue orbs moving around her. “…help?”

Ike hopped over the wall again, and walked towards her. “Okay, it looks like you might be infected with Neutralizer. Wait here while I find a remedy capsule.”

-30 seconds later-

“I’m back!” Ike said, holding a bright blue pill.

Everyone was sitting on the wall, and the blue orbs disappeared. Ulvi looked up. “Oh, you’re here. The orbs disappeared after about 15 seconds.”

Suddenly, the anthropomorphic wolver from 7 episodes ago leaps out of apparently nowhere and does a downward slam on Ike, who dives over the wall of unbreakable blocks

This made my day. Good job magician

(:

Part 10 Finale: Zenith

It was ping. Red and Joseph were in an apartment, playing a subtle game of ping. Bouncing around a Krogmo coin through to some nonexistent dimension was a very excellent idea of peace.

“I dashed! I pressed the damn dash button! Why didn’t it work, damnit!?” Red yelled after barely missing the coin.

Joseph chuckled at the 97-82 scoreboard and said: “First of all, you need to work on your volume. And, there’s no dash. Get used it.”

Red growled. “Ugh, this wouldn’t’ve happened if Bigs remembered to play ping with me. I tried playing SIGA games but there were too many buttons on the controller!”

“You mean the SEGA guild?” Joseph said, filling a cup of coffee.

“S. I. G… Umm… A. SIGA!” Red yelled for the 2048th time.

“Uh huh, and what does this SIGA mean?” Joseph said, while still playing the game which Red wasn’t paying attention to.

“Well… it’s long. Somewhat… Intelligent. Gaaaaame… Assistance. No wait Additions, yeh!” Red said uneasily.

“Sure… Wait, gotta check my cell phone.” Joseph whispered something else. “You should really get your own cell phone, Red.”

“Hello?”

“This is Lutz, get your arse over in my office now, boy.”

“Okay, is this about the swarm of humbugs near the dumpster? Because-“

“It’s not! Get to my office right now!”

-2.96 Minutes Later-

Joseph sat down on the stupidly uncomfortable chair in front of Lutz’s desk. With Yeller sitting nearby on a fluffy visitor chair. “Okay boss, what’s up?”

Lutz’s turned his chair around like the generic CEO (Corporate Evil Overlord) that he was. “Alright, Joseph. I think we might have a problem here.” He lit two cigars at the same time. “I’ve received some… unfortunate reports.”

He goes on to turn on his nearby Krogmo TV. It showed the past events of the month: The dinosaur, the cardboard boxes, and of course, Kiera eating Joseph’s cookies.

Joseph straightened himself. “How did you get footage of that random crap?”

Lutz pointed at Yeller, whose face looked like a complete troll. “I had him spy on you since you kept acting like a moron. Soon you would be failing to report alien attacks and then start letting kids in the complex.”

“Why does any of that matter? The paperwork is tedious.” Joseph smugly said. “Not only that, but you probably used some magic $*%@ to edit some random footage so that it looked like me.”

Lutz threw one of his cigars at Joseph, who caught it and threw it behind him, scattering some ashes. *sigh* “Joseph… what are we gonna do with ya? I think this job has been giving you too much pressure.”

Lutz unlocks his safe and places a black/gold blaster on the table. “Do you know what this is?”

“You’re supposed to give me a sundae.” Joseph said with a very displeased look.

“This isn’t working.” Lutz tries to pick up the blaster.

Joseph immediately jumps on the table and picks up the blaster, pointing it in Lutz’s face. “This isn’t working!? Is that all you have to say, you scumbag!?”

Yeller ran out of the room. Joseph didn’t care.

Lutz failed to do a staredown with Joseph. “You ungrateful imbecile. Do you know what will happen if you kill me?”

“Shut up! Shut the #@$% up, idiot!” *click, pew!* The yellow projectile hit Lutz’s amber glasses, snapping them in half. “If you know what’s good for you, you’re gonna shut up!” Joseph pulled the trigger out of the gun and threw the blaster at Lutz’s dazed face. And ran.

-Bigday’s Flat-

*bing!* “Did you hear something, Bigs?” Red said.

“Just the sound of me winning at Pong.” Bigday said, with 72-39 score.

*ding!* *ding!* *ding!* “Attention. We have some insurgency. Repeat… umm… we have an insurgency. Catch Joseph!”

“Hm. I thought Joseph filed the paperwork for that dinosaur.” Bigday said.

Red kept pressing the ‘dash’ button on the controller. It didn’t work. “Why. Can’t. I. Dash!?”

-Ulvi’s Flat-

“Thanks for letting me borrow your Freeze-o-Pedia.” Ike said.

“No problem. Just make sure to return it before the gates switch. Those aliens brought some new crap yesterday.” Ulvi replied.

“Insurgency! Repeat… umm… we have an insurgency. Catch Joseph.”

Ike ignored the announcement and started reading the Freeze-o-Pedia. “Chapter 1: Freeze Status.”

Ulvi pulled up his phone. “Oh what the heck? The connection is off now, of all days!”

-DD PheariumCorp Main Street-

Joseph kept running. He looked behind him to see that he wasn’t being pursued. But someone, not an alien, dives into him.

Joseph quickly recovers. “Bigs? Oh wait, you’re way too ugly.” He was looking at Mark, who was holding a Fireburst.

“Hello, Joseph, master of losing.” Mark said.

“Hello, Mark, master of scumbaggery.” Joseph replied.

Mark started to charge up his blade. “Give up Mark, you don’t need to die a loser.”

Joseph pulled out his black Umbral Blaster. “Wait a second… You’re some moron from Firebrand Co., aren’t you?”

“Double agent. Obviously our company is better than yours.” Mark said. He brandished and sent a wave of fire at Joseph, who dodged and slammed into Mark.

“You traitor! I’m going to kill you purely because of the games!” Joseph fired three times into Mark’s face. Mark was still.

Joseph stood up, panting. He twirled his gun to cool it and started running.

He saw Ike, reading his book near the elevator. He looked up. “Oh hey Joseph, anything interesting happen?”

“The boss fired me for not filling in reports!”

“Well that’s what happens when you are the laziest person here. Behind you.”

Yeller was standing there, holding a wooden stick. (Insert Link Here) “Don’t make this harder for yourself. Joseph.”

Ike closed his book. “You don’t need to be so childish.”

“You’re fired too! Boss says that Ulvi, Bigday, and that crazy dumbo are also fired, because they were in cahoots with Joseph!” Yeller stepped forward.

Someone grabbed Yeller from behind and held him up. It was Ulvi. “I’m fired? Guess what that means, Yeller.”

Yeller was genuinely scared. “No! Please, I didn’t mean it! I’ll do anything! Please don’t kill me!”

Ulvi threw Yeller down. “Alright, pipsqueak. Call of the security alert and un-fire us.”

“Okay, okay!” Yeller stood up, and started to walk away.

Red walked up to Joseph. “Hold it, Joseph! You ain’t getting away! I’m gonna lock you up for betraying my kingdom!”

Joseph shoved Red down and said: “Shut up. Where’s Bigday?”

“Doing an errand. Most likely bringing out my throne chair from my castle.” Red said, with a clueless face.

“Arrrrrgh!” Yeller was running towards Joseph with the wooden stick quickly.

Ulvi attacked the stick with an Overtimer Ice Axe. “You’re supposed to un-fire us.” He turned around to his friends. "Lutz fired us all. That jerk." He threw the axe behind him over the edge.

Joseph thought for a moment. “Okay, we’re all fired now. We have to get lost.”

Bigday jogged forward to Joseph’s position, panting. “Sorry I’m late guys… had to run an errand.” He was holding Kiera, who was sleeping.

“Why did you have to bring the kid? You probably should’ve sent her to Moorcroft, would’ve been way easier than bringing her with us.” Ike said.

“Hey Bigs, got any duct tape?” Joseph said?

“Oh sure, here you go.”

-2 minutes later-

Yeller’s arm was taped to the edge of the map, and was hanging over the abyss. “Okay guys, jokes over, please help me up.”

Red laughed. “Ha ha! He looks like a piñata! I wish he had some candy that I steal from him. I’m famished.”

Ulvi was smiling at the panicked Yeller. “Serves you right. Oh and Red, do you even have any food at your castle cave?”

“Nope.”

“Time to leave, guys.” Joseph and company boarded the elevator, and pressed the Up button. It didn’t work.

Ike examined the buttons. “I think the button doesn’t work.”

Ulvi was a little steamed. “Oh, really? Thanks.”

“What does this other one do?” Red pushed the Down button.

Bigday waved his arms. “Red, no!”

The elevator started to descend.

………

*beep, beep, beep* “Is that a bomb?”

Joseph grabbed onto the floor, and the bomb exploded, knocking everyone but him off the elevator. “No!”
He waved his hand around, trying to catch someone. He did. He caught Kiera, who was awake and whimpering.

“Help! Pull me up!” Kiera screamed, while also flailing around wildly.

Joseph pulled up Kiera, and climbed back onto the elevator platform. “Sorry guys.”

The elevator stopped at some dark, abandoned facility. It had nothing to do with Candlestick Keep or GitM. Joseph pulled out his handgun and slowly walked forward.
--------------------------------
In the dark of the night, you’ll find nothing but rocks to trip over, blocks to bump into, and gaps to fall into. But on a special day you’ll find a blue eyed gremlin searching boxes in the midst of pure black. “Nonna?”

Did you just duplicated the story on the seccond part of the post? just letting you know. And I won't really say it's late, late is over 2 week for my standart.

Whoops, I email myself at school and it gives me all of the stuff twice.

Hey guys! Just want to let you know that I might not be posting for awhile!
So here's an anagram for you to solve for no reason!
No. There's no free cookies for winning.

refmiua is gudistngis a rolfav.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ - _ - _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _.

What? Ho do we solve? Any hints?

The anagram requires that you unscramble the words and then put them in the right order.

Don't worry, the words are not mixed with each other.

"I'm throwing you in the trash bin, tomorrow I'm taking out the trash."
-M. Fleck, ?????

Chapter 2: Charred Scarf (4 Days Ago)
Part 1: Greenhorn
Date: How are we supposed to know?
Time: Time to get a watch.
Setting: Haven Training Grounds
Name: Breaking in the Recruits

“This is Vanguard, codename Akerom. Kora, I have the recruits with me, for some reason you decided to move us down to… Depth 29.”

“Its fine, Akerom. The recruits are indestructible. After soaking up enough damage they’ll just sit down for a minute.”

“Okay, I’ll be moving out then.” Akerom. The captain of a squad of rookies that just roam around randomly and sometimes teleport if they’re too far away from you. “Rookies, report!”

The gunner reported first. “Lewis here, reporting for duty, sir.” He saluted while holding his Blitz Proto.
Next was the swordfighter. “Hey captain, I’m Alex.” He had a Leviathan Proto.
And last, was the bomber. “Oh hi there sir I’m Corey and I’m a bomber!” She had a Nitronome.

“Okay guys, there’s gonna be some really stupid enemies so just kill them or something with your proto weapons.” He didn’t know that they had cloaked 5* weapons.

Lewis walked up to one of the strangers in the area. “Hi, Bootshuze!”
Akerom walked up to the stranger. “Umm… it’s actually Botshoes.”

“That sounds really dumb, who’d want a name like Botshoes?” Lewis replied.

Alex saw some T3 wolvers. “Hey captain, what’s with the T3 Monsters? I thought we were supposed to be fighting some really weak things.

“Eh, you’ll have to deal with it. Soldier.” Akerom pulled out a chair and sat on it.

Alex charged his sword up, then span it around, knocking all of the Wolvers away.
Corey threw a bomb at the dazed wolvers, which exploded and finished off all of them except for the Alpha.
Lewis fired a hail of needles into the alpha, killing it.

Akerom stood up. “What? What weapons are those?” he said excitedly.

“Proto weapons…” Lewis said.

“No no no. What the hell are you guys using?” Akerom said.

“A blitz needle, levi blade, and a nitronome.” Alex replied.

“BS. Why do you guys get those weapons?” Akerom started walking to the party button, with the recruits lagging behind.

Corey just said: “Orders from the lieutenant. Try the new things.”

She stepped on the button, causing the stranger in front of the team instantly turn into a gremlin.

Lewis reacted by firing his charged blitz into the thwacker, which instantly killed it.

Akerom looked at his watch. “Hurry up guys, I’m trying to access DaN.”

“Roger that.”

-17 Minutes Later, Lt. Feron’s Office-
Date: Would you shut up?

*knock knock* “Who is it?”

“It’s Private Lewis, sir. Operation Greenhorn was interrupted by Gremlins.”

Feron opened the door. His office consisted of a computer, a desk, a bulletin board, and a bunk bed, with an arsenal on the top bunk.

Wegner was sitting on a chair with a clipboard.

Lewis walked in. “Okay, sir. I got some minor complaints.”

“Okay, Private. What is it?” Feron asked.

“Well, first of all I’m not sure it’s a good idea to make a blitz needle look like a proto gun. Won’t it confuse people?”

Wegner looked very closely at Lewis’ right hand, which was holding the blitz needle. He saw his finger twitch slightly and heard a clicking sound.

“It’s just part of the mission, Private. We give the 5* cloaked weapons to the recruits that are participating in Operation Greenhorn.” Feron said with a slight smile.

Lewis shrugged. “Okay sir, anyways, how did you make this gun shoot up to 15 bullets at once? It’s really small-“

Lewis let go of the trigger, the gun vibrated slightly and he dropped it on the floor, and it started wildly shooting bullets everywhere.

Feron’s shield was on his back, so he just braced himself and stood in front of Wegner. Several needles harmlessly dissipated upon contact with his armor.

The rest of the bullets hit the bunk bed, puncturing it and tossing cotton everywhere.

Feron put his arm down. He sighed and ripped a paper off of the bulletin board, which said: Toasting on it. “Lewis… put the gun back before it messes up anything else.”

As of right now, you can apply a Knight character. If you applied a Devillite character already, its fine; you can make another character! Here’s the prerequisites for the application.
Name, “Nickname”
Personal Color
Default Eyes (Most of the time eyes are situational based.)
Unofficial Eyes: (Here) If choosing Het, or Heterochromia, then put your 2nd color here.
Weapons Characters must wield 2 different weapon types. If they are dual-wielding, then both weapons must be 1-star apart, on the same crafting line, and with the same variants. (No fire and ice)
Unofficial Weapon: Prismatic Calibur
Shield: Characters don’t need to wield shields. They increase defensive capabilities but slightly decrease overall dexterity and agility.
Unofficial Shield: Prismatic Swiftstrike
Armor: It’s purely cosmetic.
+Accessories
Unofficial Crests: Prismatic Proto Crest, and This
Helmet: Also cosmetic.
+Accessories
Unofficial Accessories: Ski Goggles(Normal/Raised/Lowered), Neckerchief
Class: Pick something generic. There’s:
Striker, Gunslinger, Bomber, Knight, Recon, Biotech, Geo, and Guardian. Or something else.
Skills: Any fighting or smartness skills that you’d like to put in.
Battle Sprite: There are 4 battle sprites: Drakon, Seraphynx, Maskerwraith, and E-Scout.
Quote: This is needed to get a better insight into your character’s personality.
Description: Pretty obvious, state your character’s personality and qualities.
Bold text means required, although you may have figured that out by now.
The Devillite characters are still alive and around. Birdsong Trading Company isn’t searching for them.

-Example-
P.S. Equipment available can be up to 2*, but Swiftstrike is usable.
Name: Unknown “Darkred”
Color: Red
Eyes: Sleepy
Weapons: S. Nightblade, Nightblade (This is just an example.)
Armor: A black cloth longcoat, and a dark grey shirt and pants.
+Prismatic Proto Crest
Helmet: Shadow Hood
+Ski Goggles (Raised)
Class: Developer
Skills: A Perfect Artist, Weapons Developer
Sprite: E-Scout
“…..”
Personality: The hero from the last (nonexistent) story who saved Haven from the Pink/Purple Roarmulus Twins. But he doesn’t talk. Ever. He suffers from space madness (yes that’s a real thing) and he destroyed all the files about him in an episode on a scouting mission. The only thing he does is paint all day.

KK. But what about 2nd weapon? :-(
Name: Richard Calagray the 3rd. Likes to be called Calagray.
Color: Gold.
Eyes: Wink.
Sword: Tornado Blade (2*, charge is a mini tornado, deals elemental...)
Shield: Twister Shield (Shield for tornado blade...)
Armor: A 2* version of the Spiral Flak Jacket, hallow colored.
Helmet: A 2* hallow pith helm with a crown accessory.
Class: Rich.
Sprite: Seraphynx.
"Hey, never misuse money. It can lead to danger."
Personality: Hates monsters, has a lot of money, but is not the "rich, posh, haughty" type of guy. He just has lots of cash.

To clarify on the weapons, Trymal:
You can't be holding one sword in your hand and another sword in reserve.
You can be holding a sword in your hand and a gun/bomb in reserve.

When Dual-Wielding, the weapons have to have the same Abilities, have to be on the same Crafting line, and have to be One-Star Apart.
Yes: Freezing Edge + Cold Edge
No: Flourish + Rigadoon, or Tainting Edge + Searing Edge

"James here, I'm done weeding the garden."
-Lt. Beard, Hotline Miami 2

Part 2: Blades of the Fake

-Hall of Heroes-

Date: Seriously, what the heck is wrong with you?

“So, how much did you guys make today?” Echo said.

Daxen didn’t look too happy. “About 13k. That new gunner update is ruining my business.”

Echo sat down on a box. “Oh don’t be so down, Daxen. I can give you some of the crowns, since I make bank every day. I made about 59k.”

Jorin walked up to the group. “Sold nothing, just like always. Why do we even need crowns anyway?”

“Bad economics.” Daxen said. “The Skylark Crash scattered our 1,926,728 recipes all over Cradle. Basil gets them for us and wants money for them. Except for the cobalt set, it’s on the house.”

“But… can’t we just find them ourselves?” Jorin asked.

“Nah, we’re too lazy. I’ve been standing here for about 8 years.” Echo replied.

Lewis walked in. “Hey Daxen, can I buy an Autogun recipe?”

Daxen gave the paper to Lewis. “Okay, that will be about-“*cha-ching* “-1000 crowns… okay then.”

-Ready Room, Blades of the Fallen-

Lewis contacted Kora. “Okay Kora, I’m at the ready room, what’s this mission about?”

“Alright, Lewis, you need to walk through a graveyard full of ghosts and creepy monsters and put this sword on a grave, okay?” she didn’t sound fazed at all.

Lewis stepped on the elevator. “Okay. Wait, ghosts?” *whirr*

-?????-

There was a phone on the ground. Lewis picked it up. “Hey, is anybody there?”

“This is chief biotech Hahn. You’ll be facing shadow monsters in this area.”
“You mean gh-“
“The lost souls don’t do shadow damage, they do pure normal damage.”
“Okay…”
“There will be greavers and Trojans, the greavers will try to bite you, and the Trojans I just put a recon module near the area where you will find them, bye.”
-5 Minutes Later-

Lewis was latched onto the back of a Trojan, wildly swinging his Hot Edge against the crystal on its back.

The Trojan finally decided to use an attack boost, which shoved him back against the gate. It slams the giant sword on Lewis, which doesn’t miss.

“Ow.” His emergency revive activated and he shot the Trojan’s foot, which killed it. *huff, pant* “Man, I thought this was easy mode.”

-Ready Room, Blades of the Fallen-

“Okay, Richard, you need to walk through a graveyard full of ghosts and creepy monsters and put this sword on a grave, okay?” she didn’t sound fazed at all.

Richard stepped on the elevator. “Okay. Wait, didn’t the last guy do that?” *whirr*

“Alright… after some of this I’ll soon be able to get that slightly more expensive armor and weapons that my guild friends are using.” Richard said.

The place was cleared out. Invisible crowns and heat were scattered everywhere, the buttons down, but there were still lost souls everywhere.

Richard swung his Tornado Blade at the nearby souls as they passed by, merrily whistling a random tune.

The required sword was already on the spot.

“Eh, works for me.” Richard said as he stepped on the elevator.

-Ready Room, Shadow of the Beast-

“Okay, fancy guy, and Bosco, ready to move out?” Lewis said to the crew in front of him.

Richard tossed the 2nd Calibur on Basil. “Uhh… yeah. Hey, aren’t you the guy that shot up Feron’s bunk?”

“You must have me confused with someone else.” Lewis said, rather nervously. “Anyways, what are you doing here, Bosco?”

“Well, you know that I’ve been working on my mecha Knight for a LONG time, now.” Bosco started, he looked rather tired. “A friendly person said that he’d fix the mecha for me, saying that I’d take an entire 3 months to fix it. So I’m out in the clockworks, even though I’m supposed to be fixing the mecha knight so that it would help me in the clockworks.”

Richard was drinking a can of soda while Bosco was catching his breath. “Hmm… how much mechanical experience do you have?”

“Now that I think about it…………… just standard turret fixing protocol.” Bosco said.

Lewis beckoned his allies to the elevator. “Okay, this is taking too long. I want to try my machinegun thingy on the boss.”
"Hey, fancy guy, what's your name?"

Richard Calagray stared at Lewis. "Maybe it'd be best if you didn't refer to a new person as 'fancy guy'. It's Richard Calagray the 3rd, but you can just call be Calagray."

Lewis said: "Okay. At least you're not like one of those rich idiots on TV." *cough* I'd hope not. Lewis pressed the elevator button, sending the team down to the Gloaming Wildwoods.

Bosco stared at Calagray for a second. “Hey Calagray, why’d you sell your Calibur?”

“Oh, it’s no big deal, when I was doing the last mission, the floor was cleared already. So I got to keep this blade and then get another one.” Calagray said, with a rather smug expression.

Part 3: Detectives

“Paper airplanes? Paper airplanes shut down an entire government facility? What the heck do they teach kids in grade school!?”
Italian Engineer, Sonic F

Area: Wasteworks: Gremlin Experimental Area (D24)
Mission: Checkmate

-Enter Darkred-

“Okay, standard protocol, Darkred. Kill everything and examine everything.” Feron said on the com unit.

He didn’t respond. But you can be sure that he listens to mostly everything that you say.
He equipped his sword and proceeded forward.

Darkred encountered a thwacker, a mender, and a scorcher. He walked forward menacingly and sheathed his blade.

The gremlins, which were as dumb as before, converged on him.

Darkred brandished the katana, and let loose a flurry of purple explosions, obliterating the small group.

The floor was rather unenjoyable. Just chokers here and there and a few sick puppies.

He found the party button. A battlepod spawned. Darkred walked up to it and clambered on top of it.

When it released the barrier, he jammed a proximity mine into the lens of the battlepod, basically instantly obliterating it.

His E-Scout activated the stealth field and he wandered off to the one computer in the area.

File 1: “THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. INITIATE S.N.I.P.E.”

File 2: “MAKE SURE THAT THOSE ANNOYING KNIGHS DO NOT INTERFERE.”

File 3: “With pleasure.” -Mack

He took the flashdrive out. Like heck he was gonna read every single file. The lieutenant can do that.

Darkred stepped on the elevator to move down a floor. Because, we have to move through a decon zone before we deliver the Intel.

-Deconstruction Zone: Hazmat Section-

Darkred ignored absolutely everything, and climbed around the metal gate blocking the elevator.

Suddenly, a gremlin with red goggles and a stable rocket hammer leaps over the edge and faces Darkred. “Hey! Where do you think you’re going!? We have business to settle, don’t we!?”

Darkred shakes his head.

“You’re supposed to talk to me, you stupid idiot! Arrrrrgh!” the gremlin lifts the hammer up, and starts to bring it down.

Darkred is thinking about his actions…

Try a skill. One of them is lethal, one of them isn’t.
A. Force
B. Brandish

Hello? Anybody there?

Question: Can we still apply for Devilite Characters, or is it only Knights from this point onward?
Comment: Your writing style is quite unique, and was a fresh breath from the more orthodox methods that've been floating through the Treasure Vault. Keep up the good work, I'll be reading.
Other Comment: Not sure why I keep writing in this Coma-speak format.

Choice: A. -insert overly-used Star Wars quote here -- you know which one-

Answer 1: That was too easy, but you're wrong by something slight.
Answer 2: The story has two arcs, and will switch from chapter to chapter.
Currently you can only apply Knights right now but I think you may be able to apply a Devilite in the future.
Comment: You guys are gonna love these next two parts.

The anagram gave refmiua, so instead of being the PheariumCorp's brand, it's the lesser used FeariumCorp's product -- a lesser known biscuit used primarily in dipping in phearium coffee: Fearium. That way, it's easier to get some Fearium while getting some Phearium. The main ingredient inside of fearium biscuits is... Gel Drops.

What, were you expecting it to be something from the Fearnut tree? Everyone knows that those cause instant implosion.

Anyways. I'll probably make an app within the next day or so.

It's not Devilite brand, it doesn't cause jellies to explode, and it actually is suitable for consumption by Knights. Devilites are however, allergic to it.

It uses the same letters that you saw in the anagram.

“It was a mistake to open this checkpoint.”
Civilian, Papers, Please

Darkred grabbed the hammer’s edge with his right hand, keeping his left in his pocket. He then expertly moved the hammer to his left, throwing the gremlin forward. He grabbed the gremlin by the neck, who dropped the hammer into a pit.

He didn’t bind his captive, he simply dragged him by the neck, while it was spitting out very rude gremlin chatter.

-Haven Garrison-

Rhendon was sitting on the steps of the HoH, drinking soda. “Oh hey… Darkred… uhh… do you have the files?”

Darkred tossed the flashdrive on Rhendon, and kept dragging the gremlin, who looked like he was choking to death.

-NPCs Guild Hall-

Feron was busy discussing the need of manpower to Desna, Kora, Bosco, Konway, Tylen, and a bunch of other unimportant people.

Darkred walked in rudely and forced the gremlin onto an empty seat. Then proceeded to go back to his pad.

Feron wasn’t sure on what to do. “Hmm… what are you doing here?”

The gremlin tried standing up, but everyone in the room pulled out a firearm and aimed at him. He growled and sat back down. “Err… I am from Emberlight, yes. Your friend attacked me for no reason and proceeded to drag me over to Haven.”

“Fat chance, you have a Crimson Order mark on you.” Tylen said.

Bosco looked at Tylen. “Ehh… wait. Who are you?” he said to Tylen’s disappointment.

“I’m Tylen, everyone knows me, right?” He said, worriedly.

Everyone stared at him. Because they really didn’t know who he was.

Kora redirected everyone’s attention back to the gremlin. “That’s not what we’re here for. We need to know about the big deal with this person.”

“I’m a spy for Emberlight. I swear! I go down and-“

Konway interrupted. “Why are your goggles red?”
“But… but…”
“Okay, if you don’t talk, we’ll just have to put you in a place where you can quietly think about your choices, okay?”
“No…”

“Great!” Konway grabbed the gremlin and started marching him out of the hall.

Tylen looked at the nearby knights. “Guys, do you know who I am?”

Take my Chuunibyou app!

===

Name: Emilia Crownwell "Puella Nyx (self-proclaimed)"

Color: Cobalt

Eyes: Almond | (Fake) Heterochromia: Red
[She uses a Red contact lens (if Knights have those) on her right eye.]

Weapons: Pummel Gun, Punch Gun (dual-wield)
[They aren't on the same crafting line, but... They ought to be. They resemble each other a lot.]

Sheild: Prismatic Swiftstrike
[Not really sure whether Shields are allowed with dual-wielding. If they're not, I'll remove the shield.]

Armor: Maid Armor infused with Plate Armor parts. Looks like this, but with the yellow changed into her personal color.
+Prismatic Intel Tube
+Prismatic Sealed Pauldrons
+Prismatic Ankle Booster
[See "Description" for how she got all the prismatic stuff/custom armor.]

Helmet: Shadow Tailed Helm
+Prismatic Targeting Module (covering her "red" eye)
+Prismatic Maid Headband
+Prismatic Scarf
[See "Description" for... Yeah. Same as the last note.]

Class: Gunslinger Maid

Skills: Basic Cleaning, Basic Cooking, (terrible) Enemy/Ally-Analysis, (terrible) Sharpshooting, (sub-par) Information-Gathering.

Battle Sprite: E-Scout (modified for Food-Provision/Detoxification instead of actual combat)

Quote:
"Prepare to be annihilated, fiend -- wait, that's not right... That's not a fiend... A Chromalisk? Or maybe it's a Jelly... Uh... Oh!
*ahem*
Your luck has just run out, evil-doers! ... That'll work since it's an unidentified chroma-jelly, but... It doesn't feel right either... Hm... AH! Got it!
*ahem x2*
Blame the gods of misfortune for our meeting, abomination! Your time has come!"
*strikes a dramatic pose to no one in particular*

Description: Emilia, or "Puella" comes from a rich family. Her parents pampered her until she was spoiled rotten, and she ended up becoming a major chuunibyou. Specifically, an Evil Eye Chuunibyou. Because no one stopped her, she has developed many delusions, including but not limited to the following:

1. She is a battle-maid raised for the sole sake of destroying "the evil that plagues the land".
2. She can harness the power of her "demon eye" which has "extremely powerful analysis-capabilities" that supposedly only work when she's wearing her targeting module.
3. All of her armor "only has the illusion of being light" , but is actually "several thousand pounds".
4. She has never missed a shot. Whenever her bullets go off-target, she was actually "shooting a greater threat, which only her demon eye could see."

In reality, she's just a girl who's used her family's money to get good-looking gear, and entered herself into the Spiral Order via bribery. Her combat skills are sub-par (or just plain terrible), but her skills relating to her maid-persona are actually passable, which is admirable given her dedication to her role -- but it could also be seen as just plain sad.
She holds a strong sense of justice, but is easily lead astray due to her young age. Enemies could easily manipulate her if they had even the slightest bit of intelligence -- but she would never harm other Knights, as that would go against her delusional-calling.

@Ember-Break
Wow. Sounds great. Dumb was a good one for laughter, but delusional is better.
You can use the buckler, but the fact that you are holding two heavy guns at the same time would probably slow the speed at which you raise the shield. Not that you would.
I would make up a 2* Punch Gun but something special is gonna come up so nah.

Part 4: A New Twat

-Haven Garrison-
Rhendon was still sitting on the steps of the garrison, because he wasn’t getting assigned to any missions with the noobs.
“Eh, guess I’ll go get that UV I’ve been dying to get.” Rhendon stood up and marched off to the bazaar.

[Insert Generic Thunder Sound]

5 minutes later…
“Oh come on… low vs slimes? You gotta be kidding me.” Rhendon came back and saw Riley, Morlin, Hahn, Biscotti, and Desna standing in front of the lab. “Oh hey guys, why are you all standing out here?”

Desna seemed to be eating ice cream. “Eh, some gremlins started attacking the lab, so we figured that ALL of the knights should evacuate and that we should keep standing out here. Want some ice cream?”

Rhendon would’ve thought differently if he wasn’t such a generic ‘hero’ type moron. “Okay, then. I’ll have vanilla.” Biscotti hands him a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

5 more minutes later…
“Quick, Emilia! Get to the lab! There’s an emergency!” Kora yelled.

Emilia starts hustling to the lab. “Roger that!”

Rhendon and the others were standing around, busy eating ice cream.

She quickly took action. Emilia ran up to the ice cream stand and ordered mint chocolate chip. “Uhh… isn’t there supposed to be an emergency?”

Rhendon acted really dumb. “Quick, Puella-Nyx! Gremlins have attacked, so we decided to stand out here for TEN MINUTES.”

“Then why are you standing out here? We have to stop them before they… steal the artifact, yeah.” Emilia said.

Rhendon gave her a thumbs up. “Alright! Desna! You and the other recon rangers stay out here to keep everyone safe! Just us two are going in!”

Desna threw the small fragment of ice cream cone that she was holding away into the unending rain. “Why? You need all the help that you can get, don’t you?”

“You don’t understand! This is the safest course of action, don’t you get it? It’s dangerous in there!” Rhendon said, wasting even more time.

“But I have a Supernova with ASI:VH, what more do you need?” Desna replied.

“No time, gotta go!” Rhendon grabbed Emilia and quickly marched into the lab.

-The Laboratory-
Rhendon spammed her Blitz Needle on the gremlins, while they kept magically appearing from the floor cracks.

“Take this, evildoer!” Emilia fires shots at a thwacker, which dodges all of them.
The thwacker attempts to attack her, but she uses the opportunity to shoot his arm, followed with a headshot.

*ring ring* Someone suddenly decided to call. “This is Pvt. Lewis… I see you and Rhendon in the lab.”

Emilia stayed in one spot and kept firing. “I’m a little busy here, trying to stop these devils behind the other things!” she said as she missed half of her shots.

“Yeah… I see. Listen, these guys are gonna keep coming, so just ignore them all and move up.” Lewis said. “They’re most likely after the artifact.”

Emilia slowly ran up the slopes, because a metal dress was apparently a good idea, but who cares?

*beep* “You look dumb in that dress.”
Emilia hung up and reached the artifact.

A cloaked gremlin appeared, covered in leaves with two aesthetic sawblades rotating around him. “So you’re the person who killed Razwog. Fool! You are not fit to-”

“Oh no! A gremlin!” Emilia fired a shot at Herex, which he narrowly dodged.

He got slightly ticked off. “Pah, fool! I am no mere gremlin, I am the-”

“Keep your dirty tricks away, fiend!” Bang. Bang.

Herex was mad, because he wanted to give his speech about him being a ghostmane stalker. “Arrrgh! You… cannot find what you cannot see.” And with that, he took the artifact and vanished.

Emilia took a glance around the room, ignoring the blatantly obvious trail of leaves appearing. “You can’t leave here… gremlin? Err… I’ll… stop you! ...my demon eye will find you… Uhh…”

-Meanwhile, in the NPC Guild Hall-
“That went well.” Lewis said, looking at the cameras.

Calagray was checking the computer, using the flashdrive that Darkred retrieved. “This is bad, we need to analyze this before Herex does something with the artifact.”

Insert Passcode: _ _ _
Hint: 957

“Well that’s easy, is this a literacy test?” Calagray typed in the numbers.

Lewis tapped the backspace button on the keyboard. “No! That’s err… too easy. It is definitely not reverse-reverse-phycology. Examine that open file.”

NINE-FIVE-SEVEN
The number is the letter. The letter is what comes second. The order is the code.
Billard
Broker
BG
Blackjack
Bolt
Beige
Berry
Byproduct

Darkred entered the room and took a very close look at the file. He typed in 1-6-3. It worked.

“Woah! How’d you know that? …nevermind.” Lewis took a look at the files. “What!? It’s…”