Spiral Knights - MDJ's Random Story: Time Warriors

MDJ's Random Story: Time Warriors

16 Antworten [Letzter Beitrag]

Mo, 07/20/2015 - 02:33

#1051

Midnight-Dj

3MichealBay5U

Chapter 1: The day when time stood still

*beep*

...

*beep*

...

*beep*

The heart rate monitor swung up and down like a pendulum, like an alarm clock for the wounded man that laid helplessly in the patient's bed, he couldn't remember why he was here, an explosion, the vivid vision of a woman slowly melting away in his minds cape were all that he could recall. He tried to lift himself up from the bed, but he was strapped solidly in the bed, with one of his hands calved to the side of the bed. The blinding light on the ceiling created a silent ambiance, it was quiet in the hospital, quiet as if the time it self have stopped.

"Mister Pythonne, you have a visitor..." suddenly, an alien female voice knocked on the door before oping it, completely without the patient's permission, although one thing was for sure, to the outside world his name was 'Pythonne' and that was the only thing he could be sure of.

As the door slowly slides open it was accompanied by the longest screech that was ever heard by the man, a pair of stone high heels clicked their way across the tiled floor as the screech stopped, the man zoomed his vision and saw that the heels belonged to a strange yet familiar woman, blue skinned, slender and thinned to the bone .

"..." the man didn't know what to say, but his visitor grinned in response to his silence, beneath those bone white teeth was the woman's murderous intent, she had a bouquet of black roses in her right hand but those were only there to fool the hospital staffs, as the string on the bouquet loosened and the black petals of the roses fell to the ground, the blue woman revealed a stone dagger from between the harmless branches of the flowers. The man panicked in response and tried to break free of his bed, but it was no use, he was trapped in the room with a murderess who only wanted his death, a scream was in his throat, ready to burst out at any second.

"Oh, Saboteur..." the blue woman addressed him in an unfamiliar name as she climbed onto his bed in anticipation of the sweet agony that about to be experienced by her victim, with her slender thighs locked around his waist, the woman aimed the dagger at the man's heart with two hands, ready to unleash a flurries of frenzied stabs, "You will die for what you did to me," the grotesque woman spoke, "Slow and painfully..."

At the last possible second, when death seemed inevitable, a speeding bullets burst into the hospital and found its mark in the woman's temple, so powerful was the impact of the bullet that the blue murderess was sent flying across the room and slammed into pale hospital wall, then her lifeless body slowly dripped down into a pool of her own blood. It was sniper bullet no doubt, only a high caliber bullet could have such a momentum. Before the man could free himself and thank his sniper savior, the emergency alarm of the hospital sounded off, a series of loud footsteps signaled the evacuation of the entire hospital, a reasonable response to a gun shot.

"HELP!" the man yelled while trying to free himself, but no nurse came to unleash him, his heart sank when he looked back at the corpse of the murderess as she slowly crawled back up with still three forth of her head still splattered across wall, she slowly snatched back her dagger and sneered back at him.

"I, queen Mezizas," the woman scorned as she slowly climbed back with a hole still , defying all scientific explanations, the expression on her face was that of a monster, twisted with her lips bent into the shape of a crescent moon, "You got a friend huh? Doesn't matter because you will die here alon-"

A sniper rifle's butt stock found its mark on the woman's cheek with a clean cracking sound of her jaw bone and she was knocked out before she could recover from the head shot. The man was pleased that his sniper savior was finally here, his savior was not what he expected, a burly, long haired old man with a improvised sniper rifle in his rugged hands, he wasted no time for introduction and produced a lock pick from inside of his mouth and freed the patient in bed.

"Thank you-"

"Cut the crap!" the old sniper quickly grabbed the man and forced him out of his bed, he looked back at the blue woman, she was getting back up again.

"Is there anything in this world that can kill this b**ch?!" the patient yelled with sweat on his brow, "And why is she after me?!"

"The hell would I know?! Quick, we need to get away before she recovers!" the old men rushed out the patient but not before hastily barricading the room door with a hospital bed, every second they can slow down the woman is a second that was worth it. There was no time to question his savior, the patient followed the old sniper all the way to the end of a long corridor where an elevator led to the bottom floor, the old man impatiently spammed the elevator button, urging it to open. In the distance, a loud groan erupted from the patient's original room.

"SABOTEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRR!!!" the blue woman was back, she limped her way to the other side of the corridor where she spotted the two men once more, she sneered like a wolf on the prowl and uttered a mantra of foreign gibberish, slowly her physical form changed into the shape of a wolf and her voice changed into one as well, she grounds her new canines and rushed for them. In the last second, the elevator door opened, the Old sniper and the patient ducked down and the she-beast missed her intended goal, small elevator couldn't handle the weight and the metal cable snapped under the pressure, dragging the raging beast down into the underground storage area.

The tension was relieved for a moment as the patient finally got time to sit down and catch a breath, waking up after a long time on the hospital bed was not good for his muscle and he now felt it the hard way. The old sniper on the other hand, tapped his foot impatiently awaiting for the patient to recover.

"You still haven't told me your name... old man..." the patient stared at the old sniper, judging from the battle scars on his body, the old man was surly a soldier or a hired gun prior to the rescue, hence contributing to his remarkable accuracy with a sniper rifle.

"It is Affraiel... Affraiel Greyionne..." the old man halfheartedly replied, "And you are Saboteur... right?"

The patient felt a slight discomfort by the strange nickname, the one used by the blue woman who tried to kill him, "Saboteur? Is that like my nickname? But I remembered that before that crazy blue woman tried to kill me the nursed addressed me as Pythonne..."

"If I am correct," said the old man, "You must be Pythonne Selensky... ah, now I remembered, you are with the Morai legion before you went to cradle right?"

"No... I was with the Spiral Order, that is the one thing I could remember, the initiation ceremony was so boring I went to sleep the first time."

"Well, in my timeline you are a Morai."

"Excuse me?"

Di, 07/21/2015 - 03:40

#1052

Midnight-Dj

writing for the sake of improving???

Chapter 2: Time is not on our side (Literally)

"I am from another timeline," Affraiel explained, "A timeline parallel to yours but in the far distant future."

"..." The patient lets out a dry chuckle, in complete disbelieve to what the old man told him, "Another timeline? Did skylark crash into a sun or are you just a mental patient like me who just recently broke out?" Saboteur shook his head as he replied, "Look, old man, I mean, Affraiel, thanks for the rescue, but I think I will be going now..."

Fate had much in store for the two, as Saboteur took three steps back along the corridor back into his room to pick up any belongings, the hospital floor turned inside out as a crack between reality was torn wide. Tiles, sofas and even hospital beds were sucked into the worm hole of time, Saboteur ran back to Affraiel, who crossed his arm seeing that his words are now proven to be true. With a sigh, Affraiel gives Saboteur a quick hand gesture instructing him to follow along, with the elevator disabled, they instead reached for a set of spiral stair cases leading down to the ground floor.

"OH MY FREAKING VOG!" Saboteur screamed as he tackled open the stair case door, sprinting pass the old sniper, who was slower due to age. Saboteur looked back and saw the time wormhole extended in size, slowly but surly swallowing everything in its path, many time did they nearly fell to the gravitational pull of the hole but with their survival instincts kicked in, both of them made it out of the hospital in one piece, the hospital however, vanished into the ether along with the wormhole. Leaving only a naked concrete foundation behind.

Taking another moment to rest, Saboteur slowly came to term with the situation that he is now in, the world around him collapsed as the cradle's sky islands shifted and bend into impossible geometry. The clockwork's massive gears crumbled and rusted into dust in only a blink of an eye, even beasts of the wild moaned and screamed as they weathered into dust when they came in to contact with the ripples in time.

"THIS IS CRAZY!" Saboteur pinched himself, hoping that all of this was a dream, but hope is the first step on the road to disappointment as he quickly realized that the pain was real. Affraiel, frustrated by the man's panicking, grabbed Saboteur by his neck and slapped him twice across the face with the back of his hand.

"Walk it off, soldier boy!" Affraiel sneered before releasing Saboteur of his pain, "I want you to calm and be focused!"

"Who is causing all this?!" Saboteur desperately tried futilely to find a culprit to all of the things that were happening, "Was that blue woman who attacked me?!"

"Now you are just talking out of your butt cheeks!" Affraiel goes full macho in an attempt to assess the situation to his new found friend, "Look, buddy, here is our situation, I remembered that I was in a forest, a hundred years from now on and I was on the hunt for the core spirit Gwenivere... I had her in my cross hair but the next thing I knew, I was in front a bunch of nurses, of course, they got scared off by the big gun I was carrying... no puns intended..."

"Yew..."

"Anyway!" Affraiel continued, "So as I was saying, I looked around for some clue and found some old news paper where I found out which time of the year I was in and you made it to the headline!"

"Headline? Did I got myself blown up?" Saboteur conjectured, knowing that he was once a demolitionist and there were no better ways to end up in the headline other than an accident, those things are what the medias like.

"No, you were seen by some helicopters fighting some blue woman in the top of a helicopter pad in some king's private mansion, you put up one hell of a fight and killed her in the process... I think she is the same woman who just attacked us earlier... the News writer called her queen Mezizas... I think..."

"Yeah, I remembered now..." Saboteur snapped his fingers, "She did address her self as Queen Mezizas... Mezizas, that is one awful girl name I have to say, what kind of idiot made her a queen anyway?"

"Beats me, but one thing is for sure, she is not one of us," Affraiel said, "So as far as I knew, that was when I realized something was wrong, you killed Mezizas, and that was that, but now she is back... just like how I was transported here, someone or something is tempering with the flow of time, making it so that occurrence of events are reshuffled.."

"Flow of time? Reshuffled?" Saboteur scratched his bald head in confusion, although he clearly understood what the old man said, but he was overwhelmed by the theory that was put forth by Affraiel, "Okay, Affraiel... you got some good points, but what should we do? Fix the time lines?"

Mi, 07/22/2015 - 08:08

#1053

Thinslayer

Hai

Well, I'm reading it. I'm curious to see how you handle Gwen.

Mi, 07/22/2015 - 17:42

#1054

Midnight-Dj

o.0

@Thin, since you are so curious about Gwen, I may just write a chapter about her right now, although she would be integrated to my fanon lores (fan canon) some discretion is advised. I will try and write her as closely to her profile as I can, no promises here, just like how you can portray Batman differently in multiple comics and movies, this Gwen would be my take on the character, but that is all.

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"If morality is the ability to distinguish between good and evil, then both elements must exist for a man to know his true path. Just like you cannot see an apple red if it didn't reflect the red light and absorb all of the other light in the spectrum, one cannot know true evil until it gnawed at their body." ~ Anonymous

Chapter 3: Destiny Rebellion

Cradle has many dark secrets, corruptions, instigation and unending strives are common place on this seemingly peaceful artificial planet. However, these unrest are but minor discontent compared to the true struggle taking place deep in the core, where light and dark struggled for dominion since the dawn of time, since the creation of cradle.

A white haired girl stood in the center of the white void in the core, darkness was all around her, she fought for so long that she already lost count of the days she spent in the core, her name and why she was there, regardless, she fought back against the never ending tide of the swarming darkness. Was the darkness her eternal enemy or perhaps was she the villainess all along?

In the end, it didn't matter who was good or bad as the girl was compelled to fight the incurring shadow out of a sense of duty. With a pair of psi-blade lit up in the darkness, she charged the eldritch horrors head on, the shadow materialized into humanoid entities and fought back, they exchanged blows for blows, an eye for an eye, but every time when the shadow was on the verge of being extinguished and its minions scattered, it came roaring back with a new tide of monstrosities. Like a forest fire that never dies out, even when the flame seemed to have subsided, the sparking ember reignites another fire.

The girl was eventually overwhelmed, succumbed to the shadow's numerical superiority, she was flung aside by the massive shadowy construct with an axe mounted on its torso, the axe was sharp and oozes with dark miasma and it splits the girl in half with ease. The girl falls to the ground with her lower torso flung in another direction but not before twitching in a pile of its own blood.

"This is the end... nothing lasts forever..."

Tired and exhausted, the girl laid back on the back of her head and was ready to accept her death with dignity, but this was when the black miasma subsided and the shadowy constructs vanished. A man clad in stony armor walked out from the fading shadows and stoically reached out his hand towards her, he casts mist of healing aura that engulfed the girl, slowly but surly her bodies were connected back together and she was healed, ready to fight once more, the girl had no gratitude to give to this mysterious man, instead, her heart was filled with disgust.

"Why do you keep me alive?" the girl whimpered with blood in her lips, her silky white hairs are distorted and her robes tattered with blood, what little sanity she had left was slowly but surly corroded away by the never ending onslaught.

"Because this is your destiny..." a cold reply escaped from the man's cold stony helmet.

The term 'destiny' was the last thing the girl would like to hear from the mystery man for this is not the first time he revived her from near death, the answer he gave was the same answer the girl heard all too many times. With her body healed she dashed towards her unwanted savior with her psi blades in full power. The man in stony armor retaliated with a glowing buster sword that was almost the size an adult, the girl expected him to be slow and brutish in those thick armor but soon her hopes were dashed when the mystery man parried all of her attacks with little effort.

"No... Not this time... I am going to defeat you..." the girl thought.

"What makes you think you will ever defeat me? I am Inceptron, I am the will of cradle... I am your destiny..." the mysterious man psychically echoed back into the girl's mind, maybe he was taunting her, or perhaps he was speaking the truth, but one thing was real and it was that his buster sword scrapped across her face as she tried to evade, leaving a red gash below one of her eyes. The second swing cleaved deep into her shoulder, so forceful was the attack that girl fell to her knees, as blood dripped down her breast the white haired girl harnessed all of her remaining strength and stabbed at the heart of the mystery man while he left himself in open, a chink was finally struck on his armor.

The damage seemed insignificant, but it was enough to force Lord Inceptron back, his glowing buster sword disintegrated and now he was the one on his knees. he tried to cover up the chink on his armor with one hand as dark and light energy slowly sipped out from the small gap in his armor and the world around them slowly degraded as well.

"Do you have any idea..." the man said with coughing and panting in his voice, "What you have done?"

"I know exactly what I have done, my name is Gwen, and I hereby renounce my servitude to you..." the girl finished with her hand directed at the massive vault that sealed the core's content from the outside world, the massive steel gate opened up and the outside light shined into the grey filled inner core. There were commotions outside, the denizens of cradle finally got to know what was inside the heart of their world.

"It is time we walk in the light, and out of the way with shadows," Gwen spited as she materialized a series of satires, slowly walked into the light above.

"As long as light exists... erasing shadow won't do any good..."

Gwen paused for a moment to reply, "We will see about that..." she said as she walked away from the heart of the core, the voice from outside was almost near...

... Barrus... I am... *statics* So sorry *statics*

Di, 07/28/2015 - 02:57

#1055

Midnight-Dj

GWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 4: Some scars never heal

Affraiel and Saboteur sat down on a patch of grass outside what was once a fully functional hospital, it is gone now, annihilated down to the atoms by the wormhole craved through time. The old sniper used a twig and sketched the shape of a river in a strip of wet mud in order to demonstrate his plan to Saboteur.

"Tell me, demo," Affraiel frowned and explained his idea with his twig, "When you think of time, do you think of a powerful river, flowering ever forward in one direction?"

"Hm, that is quite poetic of you, old man," Saboteur mused, "Sure, let's just say time is a river, but so what? How does that help us in anyway?"

"So this is my theory, someone, or something is trying to travel back in time," said Affraiel, "Why you ask? Think about it, even the strongest swimmer of our time would struggle swimming upstream against the flow of a wider river, but what if, you diverge the stream into multiple smaller, narrower streams?"

"So you are telling me that whoever is trying to mess with time is doing so by breaking down the flow of time into several smaller, weaker timelines," Saboteur conjectured, "then he tackles the timelines down one at a time and eventually reach the point in history he desire?"

Affraiel nodded, "Good, you have been paying attention, now we just need to know who is doing this? Or what? Heck, we don't even know if all of this is intentional or not. Regardless, we need to re-stabilize the timeline somehow to at least delay the decay of time until someone else can come up with a better solution..."

"We all die some day..." Saboteur walked back and sighed, he was appealed not to go on this fool hardy quest, "Maybe this is our time..."

"The Saboteur in my timeline would have never said that!" Affraiel spat, "I guess you aren't the same man I knew of, forget it, I am going to stop whoever is causing all this..."

"Okay," Saboteur relented, "What was I like when I am a Morai?"

"You were quite damaged, both physically and mentally," Affraiel replied solemnly, "You had nothing to live for, no family no friend, but you fought on regardless of the certainty of death, that is the Saboteur I know, maybe when I go to another timeline, I will find him again..."

"Hold on..." Saboteur held Affraiel back, "Let me come with you, you might be a good shot old man, but I am sure you can do with some muscles."

"I like the way you think already..."

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Saboteur and Affraiel ventured across the devastated landscape of cradle, in the distance, the core could be seen, drifting in the center of all the debris that once made up cradle, it was glowing with an ominous purple aura, Saboteur tried to squint and have a better look at the core, only to suffer a skull shattering headache in the process, it was feeling like as if the core gazed back at him with murderous intent.

"ARRRGHHH!!!" Saboteur groaned as he fell to his knees.

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing... I am fine..." Saboteur got back up, they continued to follow along a series of broken sky islands, it was a dangerous journey for many times did both Affraiel and Saboteur nearly fell to their death. After a few minutes they arrived at a large sky island that was still in tact, a small gap in the wormhole of time was cracked through reality, but this one was stable and did not corrode its surroundings. Affraiel tossed some fallen leaves into the wormhole and it remained green, free of decay.

"Hey, demo," Affraiel turned to Saboteur with a smirk, "I think we got our ticket here!"

"You can't be serious!" Saboteur took a step back and shook his head, "This is some freaky Snarble droppings we are dealing with here, I mean, for all we know, we can all age into old men after we go into that wormhole."

"Come on Pythonne! We are dead men already," Affraiel smacked and encouraged Saboteur to follow along, "Let's face it! You are right about the fact that we are both dead, so why not go out with a bang?"

"A bang... now you are stealing my lines!" Saboteur grumbled, "Fine, I will see through this..."

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As they entered the worm hole, the dimensions of the material realm disintegrated and air flow stopped, Saboteur felt a strange sense of suffocation, his limbs numbed as he dived into the wormhole of time, as they dove deeper, the light from the other side slowly vanished, soon, only darkness remained. Saboteur lost all of his senses for a moment, it felt like death, it wasn't dreadful, but it was somewhat comforting in a way, 'is this death truly this calm and tranquil?' Pythonne thought to himself, "Maybe, dying isn't so bad after all..."

For Affraiel and Saboteur, death had to wait, moments after what seemed to be the feeling of death in a realm beyond their logical comprehension, they saw a beam of light at the end of the wormhole. Soon enough they were ejected out of the crack in time, after all, their material body could not stay for long in an immaterial world. Saboteur opened his eyes and saw a strange new cradle, no longer broken, it seemed the world was somehow restored, suggesting that they are now in either the distance past, or in the far future.

Saboteur squints his eyes and spotted a strange silhouette of a white city in the distance, sky scrappers and statues were erected, the new cradle timeline they ended upon seemed to be stable, calm and free of storm.

"Hey old man, you are quite the risk taker," Saboteur chuckled, "but it seems this time your risks paid off! See those sky scrappers over there? Yeah, everything turned out better than expected!"

"Oh no..." Affraiel sneered with disgust, "That is not a new Haven... that is Gwen's new heaven..."

Fr, 08/14/2015 - 04:21

#1056

Midnight-Dj

Gwen hating intensifies

Chapter 5: Dogma

Saboteur turned to Affraiel with his eye brows tilted, "What is the problem old man?" he spoke as he chuckled at Affraiel's extreme reaction to a calm ivory city in the distance, "The world is saved! It has been a pleasure fighting by your side, see you later!"

Saboteur took one step forward, hoping to return to civilization, and only to be dragged back with a choke hold on his collar. He turned back and saw Affraiel's brazen hand clutched to his cloth with his mouth bent in disgust. Saboteur, becoming quite annoyed, brushed off the old man's hand and swung his arms in a display of frustration.

"What the hell is wrong with you old man?!" Saboteur scowled, "The world is saved-"

"The hell it is!" Affraiel seethed in anger, "Do you know who Gwen is? Let me give you a hint, she is a white haired brat!"

Saboteur suddenly had a flash back, the vision of a melting woman was fully realized, it was white haired, nearly angelic looking girl, this suddenly recall was almost in respond to Affraiel's mentioning of the name 'Gwen'.

"Ok, I don't know who Gwen is," Saboteur crossed his arms, "But what does she have to do with anything?"

"In my timeline, I was a criminal," Affraiel replied, "I spent years serving the Spiral Order to pay for my sentence, think of it as parole in a password locked warden suits. When we finally opened the core, we found her, Gwen the core spirit... Sorry," Affraiel forcefully grumbled at the mentioning of Gwen, the name seemed to make him sick somehow, "Despite that I paid for my crime, Gwen, taking the law into her own hand after being set free, declared me irredeemable and sent me to a prison camp! And the worst of all, when she restored Skylark, she allowed Serris Lengsk, the person who imprisoned me in the first place, TO GO FREE!!!"

"Sure, sure..." Saboteur rubbed his head, he noticed that Affraiel's voice tone was honest and his complaints seemed reasonable, "But still, I am only hearing your side of the story, can we please, just get to the city first, find Gwen and in the case that we can get an audience, maybe then we can make amend for this little misunderstanding."

"MISUNDERSTANDING?!" Affraiel yelled in rage, "THIS IS INJUSTICE!!!"

Saboteur couldn't care much about the old man's complaining, every time he turned around he saw Affraiel skulking in the distance with his sniper rifle still in hand. 'What could this old man possibly hate about a girl named Gwen?" Saboteur thought to himself, he never met Gwen in person, at least not any that he was aware of.

The Ivory city was almost in sight, the outlines of the city were refined as the two ventured closer, and soon, small poles were seen erected outside the city bound, but this was when the optimistic smile on Saboteur's face vanished.

"This is not a city... this is a massive slaughtering ground..."

Dead bodies, dead bodies were seen affixed to the wooden poles, each one of them has a name plate that labelled 'Heretic' dangled on their skeleton neck. The rot and stink quickly wiped off the visual pleasantry the ivory city once offered. There was nothing pure about the Ivory city now, it is reeked with death, as they entered the city, its citizens greeted them with cold eyes and scrapping shoulders, most of them fashioned grey owlite garbs, a type of clothing favored by Gwen, and it wasn't long for Affraiel to get snarled at a statue of her, placed purposefully in the middle of a small town square.

"Bastards..." Affraiel frowned, "They worshiped the brat as if she was the Virgin Mary..."

"So?"

"There is nothing sacred about her... and she is hardly pure, I can insure you..."

"Yes, I already seen the dead bodies out there..." Saboteur sighed, feeling slightly foolish now that Affraiel was somewhat right, "But, how do you expect us to deal with Gwen? She seemed to be in control of the city..."

Just as Affraiel was about to open his mouth, his vision glanced towards the dark figures that emerged from the crowd, with a burst from a powerful assault rifle, the gun shots immediately scattered as the civilians evacuated from the kill zone. Affraiel and Saboteur were what the dark figures were after, armed in full body armor and helmets, these soldiers attacked the two with deadly precision. The goddess of fate was a cruel mistress and a straying bullet found its mark on Saboteur's arm, it was only thanks to Affraiel's last second of lightning reflex did he pulled both himself and Saboteur into cover.

"Son of a overly-inflated SNIPE!!!" Saboteur cursed when he saw blood dripped out from his arm, he has only awaken from a hospital hours ago and now he is injured again, suffering and Saboteur were old friends, and soon he stopped complaining as a dead trooper face planted next to him, the trooper was making a charge for his cover, but Affraiel brought the soldier low with a well placed sniper shot. Biting down on his teeth, Saboteur picked up the trooper's assault rifle and joined the fight, being sidelined was never a part of his specialty.

"Ah, I see," Affraiel snickered, "Sure took you long enough to get back to shape!"

"Thanks for the compliment old man," Saboteur replied as he emptied a clip on another trooper and he felled, "But I seriously need some bandages after this!"

"Oh don't worry, I have body bags and bandages for days!"

The gun fight ensued, Affraiel and Saboteur knew that they cannot last long against an entire army, so in the midst of the straying bullets, Affraiel took aim at the radio operator in the back and severed his enemies from reinforcement. Saboteur then emerged to take out the remaining troopers with a grenade he pulled off from a deceased trooper's harness, a well thrown grenade exploded in the center of the troopers in cover, showing off his explosive expertise.

The dust settled as the last rifle casing exited Affraiel's rifle, the kill team sent after them were dead, almost all of them, Saboteur, busying collecting ammunition, spotted a half dead trooper, still crawling towards his gun in an attempt to complete his mission. Vainglorious but dutiful.

"Who sent you after us?" said Saboteur as he kicked the assault rifle away from the trooper's hand.

"I will never tell you, heretic..."

"Heretic?" Saboteur was bewildered by the term, although he was never religious himself, "Damn, what is this? Some kind of monomaniacal religious state? Okay, let me guess, you are working for Gwen aren't you?"

"Of course I am... you two should have died yesterday... I guess demons never die now do they?" with his last breath, the trooper died. Out of soldiery respect, Saboteur took off the trooper's helmet and a veil of blond hair revealed a young man, his eyes were still open when he died, they were the colors of the bright blue sky.

"Damn..." Saboteur sighed, this isn't the first time that he witnessed the death of those who were younger than him, "This boy had a whole life ahead of him..."

"There is no point being all sad about the death of your enemies, Saboteur," Affraiel tabbed his companion's shoulder, suggesting that they leave before Gwen sent in more soldiers after them, "I know that blondie... his name is Midnight, in my timeline, he was Gwen's choir boy, I managed to persuade him to work for me, but in the end... he is just another casualty... this is just one more reason for me to put a hole in Gwen's brain."

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"Mistress Gwenerivere... we just lost a squad of enforcers in sector 4D-f, should we send backup?"

"Those two assailants... are Pythonne Selensky and Affraiel Greyionne?"

"Yes, Mistress... we executed them yesterday... but now it seems they are back? Did they have body doubles?"

"Lowly terrorists like them would never be able to afford or persuade other people to sell their lives to them... I may have to re-account some of my actions..."

"Should we escalate area denial milady?"

"Of course... I will kill them for the third time if that is what it takes to cleanse this world of the unrepentant."

Do, 08/27/2015 - 15:36

#1057

Midnight-Dj

Mini boss fight inbound

I wonder if anyone is reading this?

Chapter 6: Sins that never died

Affraiel and Saboteur briefly scavenged around the corpses of the troopers that attacked them, their uniforms were mostly generic urban camouflaged body armor, nothing to help indicate their allegiance. But a strange golden medallion on their right shoulder caught Affraiel's attention, there was a five sided star inscribed on metal plate, Affraiel immediately recognized the star as a personal emblem of Gwen, the core spirit.

"These are Gwen's lackeys no doubt..." Affraiel said, "... This isn't like her, usually she would have gone for a smoke and mirror approach with things like sending out a kill team... this is quite unsubtle of her to leave behind evidences..."

"Perhaps this Gwen is different from the one that imprisoned you? Or that she just doesn't care anymore," Saboteur interjected as he wrapped up his bullet wound with some rags stolen from the dead, "And also, it seems with every different timeline, we all get our own unique incarnation, you heard what the kid said before he died, the 'we' in this timeline are already executed..."

"As much I want to say that he may have mistaken you for someone else..." Affraiel replied with a sense of doubt, "All of these things just seemed to add up... fine, we will go with your theory."

The troopers didn't arrive on foot as Affraiel soon spotted the APC that transported them here in the corner of the other street. After some hot wiring, Affraiel started the car, thankfully for Saboteur, there were a surplus of body armors and explosives in the back compartments. He soon acquainted himself with a new set of makeshift blast proof armor and all the explosives he needed to level an entire city block.

"Do we have a map?"

"It is nice that Gwen left us with a GPS..." answering Saboteur's question, Affraiel grinned as he started up the locator console installed on the vehicle, thinking that he may finally use Gwen's equipment to his advantage.

"..."

The city map was rather dubious, most places were named in languages that Affraiel never heard of, either to confuse him in a strange twist of plan orchestrated by Gwen, or just a way to make the core spirit feel better about her achievement. "Damn..." Affraiel sulked at the strange city's incredible setup, the streets bent and twisted across what seemed to be apartment complex, across the main street there were several prison set up, Affraiel easily recognized the prison architecture from a bird's eye view considering how much time he spent in one of them.

"That bastard..." Affraiel sneered, "Even in this time line she executes those she deemed unworthy without even a trial..."

WARNING: TREMOR DETECTED

"What the..."

A small earth quake soon spiraled into a gaping hole between space and time as the Ivory city;s outer bound began to implode on itself, the space time continuum was like an old man suffering from seizure, a violent torrent of energy nearly flipped the APC over. Witnessing the dire situation, Affraiel hot wired the car at a moment's notice and drove away from the worm hole. There was no escape out of the city as the worm hole closed in on the city center, even if Gwen was hidden in the city's edge, the worm hole's entropy would have rend away any steel and flesh that comes in contact with it. Without any hope of escaping, Affraiel hits the accelerator and headed for the city center, where an Ivory tower stood, dwarfing all in its vicinity.

"You see that tower over there?" Affraiel pointed over the yonder, for a second, he saw a small shadowy figure on the top which made him even more furious than before.

"Drive faster old man unless you want to become time chow!" Saboteur panicked, "What is our plan?!"

"We get to the tower, deal with Gwen or whoever is up there, worry about everything else later!"

The two men had no plan ahead of them as they drove to their doom, through out their journey they have bumped and crashed aimlessly. Affraiel pushed the APC to its limit and smashed through a small blockade, but suddenly, an old hobo appeared out of nowhere with a 'the end is here' blank hanging on his shoulders, Affraiel couldn't slow down and the hobo ended up as a smear of blood and guts on his windscreen, before he could start the window wiper, an unseen slope flipped the APC and was sent flying across the sky. The APC then crashed down the road and scrapped across the ground for three more seconds, when it is finally brought to a halt be friction, they were only a few steps away from the tower's main entrance.

Emerging from the smoldering wreck that could be hardly recognized as an APC just a few moments ago, Affraiel and Saboteur limped out of the car with a painful concussion. The tower was undefended, which is understandable when the entire city was being swallow by space and time. This is the apocalypse and it is every men for himself, nearing the front gate of the tower there was an weathered bronze plate with the words 'city administration' etched onto its rusted surface, from the looks of it, the city has been run down for a while now, even Gwen and all of her might could not staunch the unrest from the masses.

Affraiel clutched his hand to the front gate and was quickly repelled by a energy field, landing butt first to the ground. In a second attempt, Saboteur beckoned the old man to step back and threw a belt of grenades at the shield, an violent explosion later, the shield remained unscathed.

"Damn it!" Affraiel threw out an angry fit, "This shield will not stop me GWEN!!! I will KILL YOU!!!"

"Umm..." Saboteur nervously tabbed the old man's shoulder, directing him to the sword wielding blue woman behind them, "Affraiel... remember that blue woman who attacked us in the hospital? Well, she is back..."

"Great..."

"Did you really think a fall could kill me?" Mezizas laughed as she stroked her obsidian great sword, "I am Mezizas, the eater of souls, queen of Apocrea! Kneel before me or face annihilation!"

"I didn't came here just so I can kneel to some blue hag from another realm, I didn't kneel to Gwen's edicts and I am not about to kneel to yours!"

"Oh, really? Ha!" Mezizas lets out another wave of maniacal laughter, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! If you are so unwilling to kneel before me, my minions sure will, come out sweeties, it is time to play!"

Affraiel and Saboteur stood shoulder to shoulder with their favored weapons in hand, grenades and sniper rifle. Mezizas was a being from another realm, the time flow seemed to had no effect on her as she wasn't aged to dust by the torrents of time fizzing around them, either that or she was simply immortal and was immune to the flow of time. Just as a horde of obsidian berzerkers emerged from the ground below them, Affraiel frowned and steadied his aim, Saboteur ,likewise, leveled his hand on the grenade pin. The berzerkers were mindless brutes serving as the bulk of Mezizas's personal guards.

"Oh Saboteur... you were once my favorite pet... " Mezizas pretentiously remarked, "But I have no need for a disobedient pet like you anymore," the obsidian queen said as she glanced at Affraiel, "And I have no interest for sorry old man like you... prepare to be DISPATCHED!"

Cue in Mezizas's battle theme

Fr, 10/02/2015 - 22:39

#1058

Midnight-Dj

Anyone reading this?

"Hence Theocracy is the worst of all governments. If we must have a tyrant, a robber baron is far better than an inquisitor. The baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity at some point may be sated; and since he dimly knows he is doing wrong he may possibly repent. But the inquisitor who mistakes his own cruelty and lust of power and fear for the voice of Heaven will torment us infinitely more because he torments us with the approval of his own conscience and his better impulses appear to him as temptations." ~ C. S. Lewis

Chapter 7: obsidian vengeance

"Those Obsidian berserkers..." Saboteur inspected the dark beasts from a distance, "Are those..."

"Yes..." Mezizas grinned, "These were men just like you, they fell to my temptation of power as I offered them Obsidian relics. I have to admit you are the only person who resisted my influence, this is what make this chase all the more fun..."

"When did all this happen?" Saboteur looked back at Affraiel and he snarled in response.

"Do you honestly have amnesia?!" Mezizas spat, "Fine, allow me refresh your memories!" she said as she pointed at Affraiel and Saboteur, "Run you insignificant miscreants! KILL THEM BOTH!"

The Berzerkers let out a monstrous roar as they swarmed around Affraiel and Saboteur, the bomber threw down a cloud of smokescreen. The Berzerkers took their chances and charged into the dense cloud in hope of taking bite off their prey in the midst of the mustard cloud, only bit into each other and started a massive in-fighting. Not even a single bullet was spent and Mezizas's minions were already in disarray. Although the beasts were obedient, they were single minded and foolish. Saboteur and Affraiel wasted no time and shot apart the berserkers, this caused Mezizas to facepalm.

"UGH!!!" Mezizas groaned, "Even when I am a queen I need to get things done by myself!"

"Queen..." Affraiel sneered at the term, just as Gwen was the Valkyrie queen, "I guess when this is over I would have one less queen to worry about..."

Saboteur tossed a grenade into Mezizas, the mad witch flung the explosive aside with an obsidian shield formed from her hand. She quickly switched to offensive with her shield transformed into the shape of a Zweihander. Mezizas was thin like a skeleton wrapped in skin, but neither Affraiel and Saboteur could have predicted how fast she was at closing distance, Mezizas ran as she was doing a horizontal split, once at melee range. Mezizas stuck her obsidian heels onto the ground as she clung the sword onto her shoulder and swung in a 360 degree arc, injuring the two, Affraiel was left with a gash on his chest and Saboteur's improvised shoulder armor was ripped clean off.

Affraiel was in no condition anymore to aim his sniper rifle properly, he caught a Berserker's attention and it quickly emerged from the in-fighting and rammed Affraiel to the ground, he was only saved when his sniper rifle barred away the berserker's salivating, razor sharp obsidian fangs.

"Saboteur! Pass me a grenade!"

Saboteur quickly tossed a grenade over Mezizas's head, "Chew on this, FIDO!" Affraiel grabbed it and shoved into the berserker's mouth before pulling the pin. The berserker accidentally swallowed it and exploded into a million tiny pieces, Affraiel was not unscathed and went into a trance by the close detonation. Saboteur, distracted by the toss was caught in a stranglehold by Mezizas as her zweihander was transformed into a wimp. The obsidian queen kicked Saboteur to his knees and stomped her boot's high heel into the bomer's naked shoulder, causing him to bleed.

"CRY FOR MERCY!"

"NEVER!" Saboteur stayed defiant, beneath the crack of his helmet, his eyes remained adamant, he was not going to bow to Mezizas or anyone else. Affraiel recovered, and wielded his rifle as a club and whacked Mezizas in the head, the mad witch became stunned, Saboteur capitalized on the opportunity and took a shard of Mezizas's sword. Using it as a dagger, he tackled down the Obsidian queen and slashed open her chest, exposing a dark, pulsating heart in the center, Saboteur knew then that this was only way to fully destroy Mezizas. Dark blood bursts out as Mezizas screamed, she produced another obsidian dagger and plunged it into Saboteur's stomach in retaliation.

"ARGH!!!"

"Slippery LITTLE SLIME!!!" Mezizas yelled, "NEVER CROSS THE QUEEN!!!"

Saboteur grinned as he sat on top of Mezizas, locking her between his thighs. He sat off all of the grenades on his belt and in a blinding flash, both he and Mezizas went up in a violent explosion. The blast was potent, enough to annihilate every last fragment of the obsidian queen. Affraiel was stunned by Saboteur's selflessness, Mezizas's corpse ceased to exist and the obsidian berserkers went into disarray, most of them fled like stray dogs when Affraiel walked near, the path to Gwen was cleared, but Saboteur made the ultimate sacrifice to destroy Mezizas, his body too vanished into the thin air, only pools of blood remained.

"That is two lives you have to pay for Gwen... first is the Valkyrie boy and now my buddy Pythonne..." Affraiel grimaced, he picked up his sniper rifle and entered the ivory tower. The world around him decayed as the torrent of time eroded the last inch of ground outside the tower. He closed the door just in time to see a pile of corpses at a metal detector check point, the site was placed to prevent possible assassination, the dead soldiers all committed suicide, most likely to die quickly rather than having their soul torn to shreds by the torrent of time flow.

"Convenient... save me the bullet to kill Gwen..." Affraiel thought to himself as he climbed to the top, the marble satires and blank walls seemed to lead to nowhere, at the last moment, he arrived at the top with marble columns lined up on two side with a cloaked figure stood at the other end of the hallway, Affraiel was sure that the figure was none other than Gwen.

"HEY! GWEN!" Affraiel seethed in rage, "A fancy little Jerusalem you got yourself set up here, too bad time isn't on your side. The world is finished, you may have hanged millions onto the cross, but it is time for the executioner to be judged!" Affraiel, despite his injuries, took out a tungsten penetrator round and loaded into his rifle. The high velocity round was developed by the Morai legion, designed to penetrate five Aegis shields and still have the impact force to kill a fully armored knight. In his mind, this was the only thing that will kill Gwen, non of her power or trickery can stop his wrath from tearing into her lungs, Affraiel had waited for this day for years, and now...

"..." Gwen glanced back at Affraiel and turned around, she was in a set of dark grey owlite cloak, "Jerusalem? You are as gullible as always old man, I was trying to create an atheist state!"

"Atheist state? You?!"

Before Gwen replied she examined Affraiel, "You didn't age well... yesterday you were only thirty years of age when I executed you..."

"Guess what, NEWSFLASH!" Affraiel replied sarcastically, "The time line of cradle has gone haywire! Both you and I as well as every living beings on cradle are affected by it! I am but an iteration of the same man you killed yesterday!"

"You came from another time line?" Gwen smiled and crossed her arms, "I guess I have wronged you in that timeline too? That is to be expected..."

"So then tell me," Affraiel shrugged smugly, "how was your little China going? Oh wait, it is GONE now... this is the oblivion as we know it! I bet this instability in time has something to do with you too?"

"Old man, why do you always have to state the obvious?" Gwen groaned in disapproval, "I am never one for telling lies, and we will be dead soon, so I will grant you the grace of truth, even though you don't deserve it."

"TCH!" Affraiel sneered.

"I was trapped in the core for so long that I lost count of time," Gwen unwillingly explained.

"Uh huh, I also remembered how the first thing you escaped from the core was unleashing the swarm."

"That is only your side of the story, old man..." Gwen continued, cutting Affraiel short in the accounting of her lesser crimes, "I am the light of cradle, the counter balance to the darkness that you know now as the swarm. But this battle has gone for far too long, I have fought time and time again, the swarm and I are caught in a never ending battle, on the verge of death I was brought back only to fight the swarm once more."

"And who brought you back?"

"A thing, a man," said Gwen, "He is beyond space and time itself, he is the malevolent entity that commands cradle down to its last cranks and gears. His name is Lord Inceptron... the will of cradle..."

"The will cradle?" Affraiel chuckled, "What a title, the man must have ego through the roof top!"

"The only person here whose ego is through the roof top is you..." Gwen continued after another remark, "He is reason why I fought the swarm for so long, in fact, I don't even know if the fight ever stopped since the beginning of time. But on that day, when the core opened, I took my chance and broke out, but not before leaving a chink into the armor of the man who tortured me..."

"Wait..." Affraiel frowned, "If you are the core spirit-"

"Can I be anyone else?" Gwen gave a rhetorical question.

"If you are yin to Swarm's yang, and you stopped fighting the swarm..." Affraiel's eyes bulged, coming to the realization...

Gwen slowly drew out her psi-blades, her legs tightened, ready to lunge her self against Affraiel, "I know as long as Lord Inceptron exists, the clockwork will always be in an eternal war of light and dark, the only way to end this is to kill Inceptron... and we will soon all be free!"

"But you only inflicted a chink against him! And free? You kidding me?" Affraiel yelled, "This world IS DYING!!!"

"Precisely..." said Gwen, "The chink is why the clockwork is deteriorating, Inceptron is loosing grasp on this world, soon, when he finally fall to obscurity, I will rise as the ruler of a new world! A new cradle, where there will only be love and light! Truths and honesty! Life and happiness! I am giving you this final choice, submit to me and I will give you heaven and if you refuse, then face annihilation... either by my hand, or by the torrent of time.."

The old man held sniper rifle tightly in his hand as he squatted to take aim at the core spirit, he squinted his eyes and squeezed down on the trigger, "Face annihilation? YOU first!"

Sa, 10/03/2015 - 04:59

#1059

Midnight-Dj

Taking a break

What is it that you truly want?

What do you possibly hope to gain by slamming your flesh against that wall of steel?

I hope, that one day, this wall will break, and behind it, there is a paradise... waiting just for me...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 8: Oblivion

Affraiel blinked, he cursed to himself knowing that Gwen could read his mind. He quickly slide down behind a marble pillar and took cover, and when he peaked over into the opening, much to his dismay, Gwen disappeared.

"So, Gwen..." Affraiel chuckled, "This Inceptron guy is the will of cradle right? If so, he is also the reason why time on cradle can pass, and now that you wounded him, the time line is distorting as well, you made time itself feel the pain. I got to hand it to you, you performed one hell of a deicide!"

The cracking sound of a pillar interrupted Affraiel's raving as a domino effect nearly crushed him under several thousands tones of marble. Affraiel rolled over by a hair length and checked his surrounding for Gwen, the dust generated by the fallen pillar created a smokescreen, just before he could pull the trigger at a shadow in the dust, Gwen was already below him, kneeing him in the chest. Affraiel instinctively lifted his chin high up and felt as the heat of Gwen's psi-blade skimmed across his skin, the old man falls to the ground, the gravity saved him from another strike that would have sliced his stomach open, using the downward momentum, Affraiel bent back his legs and kicked Gwen defensively. Gwen got out of range easily and jumped up for a downward attack, her psi blade struck the marble floor, the tremor caused by the impact was enough to knock Affraiel off balance, he cursed his old age as he finally tripped over a pebble of rocks.

Gwen withdrew her blades, sighing with disappointment as she kicked off some fallen rocks, a sign that the fight was a bore to her, "You went all this way to kill me and now you have nothing to show for it..." Gwen suddenly stopped to assess the damage on the marble floor, but instead of a beam distorted time torrent, a burst of dark swarm erupted from the hole. The girl dashed back, giving Swarm enough time to reform, the shadow condensed into the shape of a man with one of his elbow covering a gaping wound on his loin. Affraiel's jaw slacked as the man in armored suit fully morphed from the darkness.

"GWEN... THIS IS FOLLY..."

"I am not your slave anymore!" Gwen drew her psi-blade, refused to negotiate. She glanced back at the old man, Affraiel got up as well, he distanced himself from both her and Lord Inceptron while switching his rifle barrel left and right to decide who to shoot. For a second he level his crosshair at Inceptron and realized that he was far more vulnerable than Gwen.

"Affraiel! For once in your life have some common sense!" Gwen ordered her one time enemy, "Kill Lord Inceptron! He has wiped thousands of civilizations and billions of lives off from the face of cradle before you and I even existed! We are but his playthings in his sick game of life and death! Surely the crimes I done against you are but feathers compared to the weight of his sins!"

Inceptron did not respond to Gwen's comments, instead, his helmet tilted towards Affraiel, "I AM LORD INCEPTRON... THE WILL OF CRADLE, I HAVE SEEN YOUR PAST... HELP ME KILL GWEN AND I WILL RESET THE TIMELINE... AND GRANT YOU... ONE WISH..."

"I am all ears, tell me your offers..." Affraiel slowly smirked as he pointed the rifle's crosshair back onto Gwen's head, the girl tried to dash out of the way but was bogged down by an expanding swarm field below her, the darkness oozed from beneath Lord Inceptron, upon a closer look, they were coming out from the chink of his armor, this was when Gwen realized what she had done.

"I WILL ALTER A PART OF YOUR TIMELINE AFFRAIEL..." the voice wheezed out from the dark vent of Iceptron's helmet, "DON'T YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE SOMEONE ELSE?"

"You forget, Affraiel," Gwen intercepted Inceptron's long winded speech, "As long as Lord Inceptron lives. You will have to fight for every moment of your life in your fleeting pursuit of freedom, and so will I inside of the core, is this what you really want? Live only to die fighting and never have peace? I can give you the closure you need, but you must kill Inceptron first!"

"SO WHAT IS IT? HEAVEN OR HELL?" just as Lord Inceptron finished, the torrent of time chewed through the roof top above them, Affraiel had no choice but to pick an uneasy ally. He knew that killing Gwen will satisfy him, but only for a while before Inceptron regain the control of cradle and once more pull the strings of fate. Killing Inceptron will mean there is a chance that Gwen will survive and remake the world as she sees fit, an world ruled by either of them was a hell to Affraiel. The old man lowered his rifle and sighed, knowing the futility of his choices, then, something flashed across his mind.

"No, there is a third option..."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" both Inceptron and Gwen shouted in unison, completely dismayed by Affraiel's obscene remark.

"...Outer Heaven..." Affraiel jabbed the rifle into the marble floor below and pulled the trigger. The penetrator round chewed through the rocky floor and in a blinding flash, a violent vortex pulled him in along with Lord Inceptron and Gwen, they vanished out of existence only a few seconds before the timeline they resided was erased by the unstable torrent of time. Their fate, like the world around them, decayed into obscurity, everything felt empty now...

...

"History is written by the victors." - Winston Churchill

...

A group of Spiral Knights barged into the ground of the last church on Isora as the fire of the first Isoran civil war came to an end. The Spiral Order defeated the former government body that ruled Isora, the corrupted Spiral Confederacy. In order to gain the mind of masses, the leaders of the Spiral Order sent strike teams out to destroy all religious buildings, museums and other reminders of Isora's past under the confederacy rule, all of this in an attempt to rewrite history as they saw fit and ingrain new ideals to the next generation.

"General Nowen..." a silver clad knight kneed before a well dressed man and reported their progress, "The assault on the church was successful, we suffered minimal casualty, there was hardly anyone left after the sustained bombardment from yesterday, the men are waiting for your orders."

"I will break down the final gate my self," the man, known to his fellow soldiers as general Nowen spoke, "It is time the Spiral order wipe the slate clean and start a new chapter in the history of Isora. But this church, a symbol of a bygone age must go down first before we can walk into a brave new world, men, leave no zealots alive!"

General Nowen marched along side his soldiers as he ordered them to drew swords, some of church's nuns and monks tried to resist only to be torn into bloody pulps or be crushed under the stampede of the oncoming army. As they smashed the final door with hatchets, holy books were incinerated in piles soaked with alcohols and all religious symbols were pulled down from high points. With one brutal hack, the thick wooden door chipped off and through it, a beam of light entered the dark corner of the final bastion, a white haired girl sat cowardly in a cold corner, weeping as the Spiral Knights rushed into the tiny world she once knew while breaking everything she had in the process.

"Please, stop..." the girl whimpered with tears swilled in her blue eyes, the knights ignored her pleads and continued with the defilement.

"She must be Gwen..." one of the knight remarked as a poisonous tongue when the girl caught his attention, "One of the church orphan who is also in the choir team... let's kill her just like the rest."

"No... she is still young," Nowen glanced back at his subordinate, showing a rare sight of humility, "We can convert her into a useful citizen yet... but first, let's give her some food, a pair of new clothes and a new name."

The general knelt before the girl, with one of his hands gently touching the chin of the frightened choir girl he stared into her moist blue eyes, "I will let you live, but from this point onward," the smirk on Nowen's face soon changed into a frown, "you will no longer be Gwen, that name is riddled with the past, from now on I will call you Penumbra. And that will be your name."

The girl silently nodded her head, Nowen carried her away pretending that she had accepted his offer, there was no other revenue for the girl to pursue after all. As they left the last church on Isora, the Spiral Knights race walked into a grey and uncertain future.

-- END OF SEASON ONE --

Any comments? Critiques? Some feed back would be appreciated, and if there is any part of the story you don't understand, feel free to ask.

Do, 10/08/2015 - 03:59

#1060

Midnight-Dj

I will continue, will you?

Interlude: the scent of an angel

A weird scent slipped into Affraiel's nostril as his vision slowly cleared from a long night sleep, he blinked several times to rub off the moisture clogging his eyes and inspected the small mirror sat on top of a drawer. He grinned at his reflection and said to himself, "Oh yeah... who is that handsome devil in the mirror? Oh yeah, that is you Affraiel... "

After a moment self musing, Affraiel breathed in the strange scent and comfortably stretched out his arms to fire up his biceps, suddenly, his elbow bumped into something. Something cold and fleshy, Affraiel, alarmed by this, quickly retreated his arms back onto his chest before checking what laid next to him. Threads of silky smooth white hair veiled a woman sleeping calmly next to him, Affraiel, rather frightened by this, jumped out of bed in surprise. The girl was not awoken by the noise and rotated her position unconsciously, she leaned and occupied the part of the bed that Affraiel once slept on.

"Gwen?! NO!!! NO!!!" Affraiel grumbled in denial as he swirled around the bed's outer edge, he grabbed the duvet and carefully tugged it off from Gwen in fear of waking her up, his heart sank when he realized that Gwen was wearing nothing but a set of skimpy swim suit. The rubber material highlighted her figures, the tightness of the strings were pressed against Gwen's firm skin, "What in the-" Affraiel became flustered but not before rubbing his forehead in embarrassment, he couldn't believe that his heartbeat was risen by the woman he sworn to kill just moments ago.

"Ummm..." out of curiosity, Affraiel took another peak at Gwen's body, aside from what was expected from a woman, Gwen's body muscles were well tuned but she was not a hyper muscular beast like Affraiel himself, most likely hardened by the countless battles she had against the swarm.

"I can hear your thoughts you know..." Gwen blinked her eyes as she raised up from the bed with her fist pressed against her frowning face, "...You are behaving like a little boy who has just found a stash of adult magazines, seriously, is this the first time you see a half naked woman?"

Affraiel's mouth twisted to the right and his eyes stared into the distant left to avoid eye contact, "Um, no..." he quickly tucked his hands behind his back, "Okay, one question before you keep on insulting me, why were you in my bed? Why are you in bikini?"

"You stole the words right out of my mouth," Gwen shook her head and sighed, "except for the bikini part... what kind of pervert did this?" she briefly inspected Affraiel who was also in his underwear before looking away, "Can you please put on some clothes?" In respond to her remark, Affraiel shuffled around, the room was pale white with generic paintings decorating the walls, there were no drawers so Affraiel looked back at Gwen and shrugged. The room they were in was sealed, no doors or windows, Gwen and Affraiel were completely isolated from the outside world.

Gwen sighed, "So tell me... why did you shoot into the floor when you could have just killed Lord Inceptron right then and there?"

Affraiel's eyes narrowed and responded with a sneer, "Yeah, knowing you and how many times you plotted against people when you see fit, I wouldn't be surprised the first thing you do after I killed Inceptron is killing me, and then you will say something along the lines of-" Affraiel crossed his arms and spoke in a high pitched voice reminiscent of Gwen, "Affraiel you filthy beast, in my flawless, sinless new world, there can be not one such as you reside in it! Prepare to get purged!"

"You know, I could reclaim your soul and reforge it..." Gwen raised her eyebrows.

"I will pass on that offer," Affraiel sternly replied, "I like my soul just the way it is."

Moments passed felt like a millennia, Gwen sat up and covered her upper body with duvet, she stared with vigilance at Affraiel who rested in a corner, neither of them had anything to speak of their opposition doesn't already know. After a few moments trying to occupy himself with whistling, Affraiel opened his mouth to break the monotony.

"Do you know where we are?"

"I cannot pick up a single thought other than yours... this room is sterile," Gwen glanced at the interior of the room, "It seems your foolishness has led us into this timeline where we and this room are all that occupies the reality."

"Wow, what a boring timeline," Affraiel remarked, "Thanks a lot Gwen, I guess when you wounded that Inceptron guy you never thought the continuity of cradle would go snipe turd insane. So you are not as smart as you think you are."

"I am well within my head, old man..." Gwen cut Affraiel short, "I knew this would happen, and that is why I was trying to create an atheist state, it was an attempt to starve Inceptron out. I though without faithful believers, he would be powerless, but I was wrong... Lord Inceptron was actually fueled by something else, something I never thought of... equilibrium."

"So you are telling me that Inceptron is in control as long the forces of good and evil are in equal competition?" Affraiel conjectured.

"Exactly..." Gwen said with an ominous smile on her face, "So all I did was proclaim to be a god, and then, I watched, as the fools torn themselves apart while claiming their honest faith to me."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Affraiel became enraged by Gwen's arrogant tone.

"Simple, it is almost in human nature to avoid accountability when it comes to their crimes, after all, wouldn't you want to get away with a crime?" Gwen's ominous smile widened, "So I provided them with the most easy escape, a savior who can abolish them of all sins. I came down, I showed them my divinity and without me even as saying a word, your kin started to form religions, each one takes on its own dogma and traditions, and they soon found themselves in a nation wide civil war. I am sure you have seen some hanged men outside the city limits, those dead 'heretics?', yeah, those are not executions by my orders, it is their own doing."

"So, killing thousands in the name of a god? How is that going to stop lord Inceptron?!"

"Think before you talk Affraiel!" Gwen yelled back with a loud, vulgar tone, "Imagine, this world filled with ill-will, hate and death, the balance on the cradle is shifted to the dark, and with the equilibrium shifted, Inceptron will become weak. And that is when humanity must take up on itself to defeat Inceptron, trap him back into the core like Tinkinzar once did, then, there would be peace, and I will reveal my self permanently to guide them to a better future."

"And who are you to decide what future is the best for us?"

"I humbly accept your nomination."

Affraiel and Gwen nearly charged at each other at the same moment with their teeth and fists clenched, completely forgetting that they were both half naked. Without places to hide or any reasons to talk about, without shame or embarrassment and without any reason or goal, the two of them clashed. Even when the universe was as small as a single bedroom, there can never be peace between the forces of order and chaos. And in the shadow beneath the squabble between Affraiel and Gwen, a grey entity cackled.

"IT FEELS... REINVIGORATING..."

Do, 10/08/2015 - 12:38

#1061

Thinslayer

Feedback

I've finally had a chance to condense my thoughts on the story.

I read it.

You have a strong command of english. Descriptions are vivid enough to generate images in my mind. Action sequences work. You can write.

Additionally, you have some ability in characterization, though probably not what you're imagining. The elder woman Penumbra was fantastic, brilliant even. When told that her son was dead, I expected her to blow up in rage or something. That she did not underscored the presence of guiding principles that restrained her emotions. Honestly, she's the deepest character I've ever seen you make.

Which brings me to this story's fatal flaw. Affraiel, Mezzias, and the rest are shallow, ugly, tired characters that ruin your story utterly. I had to force myself to read this story, which I did more out of sadistic curiosity than any genuine interest. There was no effort made to make the audience care about them. If this were an action story, that might be acceptable, but the action was rather lacking and buried in unintelligent philosophical parable. There is nothing redeeming about any of these characters. Bury them and never use them again.

Give your characters reasons, principles, roots, things that make up the undercurrent of personality. And for goodness sake, make the audience care! Don't assume we're familiar with your characters. I barely know Affraiel, and what little I knew of him was repulsive. If you absolutely must reuse such characters, first make sure to establish a foundation giving me a reason to keep reading.

You can be a brilliant writer. But this was not your best work, IMO.

Do, 10/08/2015 - 13:46

#1062

Midnight-Dj

Feed back of the feed back

Thanks for the feed back, Thin

The elder woman Penumbra was fantastic, brilliant even. When told that her son was dead, I expected her to blow up in rage or something. That she did not underscored the presence of guiding principles that restrained her emotions. Honestly, she's the deepest character I've ever seen you make.

Surprisingly, her son is Affraiel, and no, Penumbra was not restraining herself. She was actually stunned by the fact that Affraiel was put down by a mysterious sniper.

I would concur to you that Mezizas is shallow, but that was the intent, she is a shallow, irredeemable scum who only wants power at any cost. And as for Affraiel, well, he is the devil of this story, he is Gwen's devil. If there is an evil in this world Gwen want to be dealt with, then it is Affriael, he is the physical manifestation of chaos, the very thing you hate, of course, I cannot make a story where you care about everyone, that would be absurdly difficult, in the end, some character is left to a reader's imagination, I mean, if you read any Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter books then you would agree with me that you simply don't care for some of the characters.

If this were an action story, that might be acceptable, but the action was rather lacking and buried in unintelligent philosophical parable.

I think I have left enough breadcrumbs across this story to remind you why Affraiel is so hell bent on killing Gwen. It is simple, Gwen is order, and he is chaos, it is natural for them to have conflict. And I also contest to the fact that this parable is unintelligent, the struggle between order and chaos is all around us, and you should have felt its effect just as I have. And Affraiel was seeking for a compromise between the two just as I have, it is in human nature to pursue these seemingly unreachable goals, it is what makes us human, instead of picking up the red pill or the blue pill, we always had the power to take the yellow pill. Yet ultimately these struggles are futile, but we do them anyway, this is the nature of humanity.

And you may be wondering, why can't I just write a story without any parable? Because I, like you, need a reason to care about the story that I am writing. I simply cannot bring myself to write another 'Hi, I am a knight, I landed on cradle and this is my story.' fan fic, this treasure vault is pretty much saturated with stories like that.

There is nothing redeeming about any of these characters. Bury them and never use them again.

Affraiel and Mezizas are but simple, character traits, sooner or later, you will see characters made not just by me, but other people, sharing similar traits.

Affraiel isn't even a new character as a matter of fact, he was evolved from Mister Affairs, a mercenary who also participated in the same civil war as his successor. His name was changed in my first RP to make him sound more serious. And who knows, maybe you will see Mister Affairs someday.

Don't assume we're familiar with your characters. I barely know Affraiel, and what little I knew of him was repulsive.

That is strange because Affraiel's personal back story, philosophy and other stuff are pretty well established in the past RPs, I went into decent length to write him a back story in those RPs. And most of those RPs are hosted by you, so if you skimmed them through, then yeah, hate to break it to you but Affraiel would not be of your liking.

I am not surprised that you find him repulsive, you and Gwen, both hated him and for good reasons. I made him the way he is so you like you can spite him.

You can be a brilliant writer. But this was not your best work, IMO.

I have never intended this story to be the Magnum Opus of my intellectual property, this story serves as a glue for all of the past RPs you have abandoned, only the ones I participated, from Skylark fall to the more recent Condemned.

This fan fic connects all the backstories and other lore you retcon'd when you shut down the RP, in short, in Time Warriors, because the timeline of cradle and Isora are splintered into multiple different realities, it is possible for any fan lore to be canon, but not necessarily true. Gwen could be a rich girl in a wheel chair, an old knightess or a crazy sword flinging boy in other timelines. And likewise, Affraiel can be a radical revolutionist, an old sniper or a mad queen from another realm in other timelines. In one timeline, Spiral Order is a roman republic and in another, Spiral Order is a Chinese communist party wannabe... so on and so on.

Fr, 10/09/2015 - 12:55

#1063

Liminori

See, thing is...

Being original usually deviates heavily from SK lore, and that also saturates the vault.
And when you try to do something that really isn't done much (i.e. almire) it doesn't go anywhere.
Unfortunately, I doubt anything will be good, stay good, and etc. - not any time soon.
I've not read your fanfic, due to my lack of care for most of your characters.
It's about as dried and cut as an old sock.
I'm sorry if this offends you, as usual.
Edit: As usual, I'm sorry if this offends you*

Fr, 10/09/2015 - 15:17

#1064

Thinslayer

Feedback on feedback for feedback

By "care" I mean more interest or concern, rather than "Don't die, senpai!" Shouldn't we cheer when the villain is defeated? I didn't. Shouldn't we cringe when the hero is hurt? I didn't. Shouldn't our hearts race when an innocent is threatened? Mine didn't. Apathy was the most dominant thought in me. Give us a reason to care, not about the characters per se, but about your story.

Regarding shallow characters, claiming to do it on purpose seems more like an excuse than a deliberate decision, because if it is truly intentional, then it's a very poor decision. The main characters, be they hero or villain, cannot afford to be shallow if you want your story to be better than those trashy paperbacks found on retail checkstands. Heroes and villains have no power with the readers if they lack depth.

Fr, 10/09/2015 - 22:58

#1065

Midnight-Dj

@Liminori Being original

@Liminori
Being original usually deviates heavily from SK lore, and that also saturates the vault.

I don't know, did I really deviate from the SK lore? I mean, I thought the whole idea behind SK lore is that we players have to fill up the blanks with our imagination. Sure, I can write a story that is strictly adherent to the SK lore and never deviates, but where is the fun in that? As a writer I need places where I can invest my imaginations into. Otherwise it won't be a fan fiction.

I'm sorry if this offends you, as usual.

Oh well, no one is immune to criticism, I think I've learned my lessons, but if there is anything I can agree with Thinslayer on in terms of philosophies, it would be the fact that it is hard for people to change. And changing my writing style and other characterization is going to be a pain. But still, I will try.

@Thin

Regarding shallow characters, claiming to do it on purpose seems more like an excuse than a deliberate decision, because if it is truly intentional, then it's a very poor decision.

Again, I have addressed this before, some characters in the story needs to be simplified in order to give the people I wanted the reader to care about more highlight. In short, giving everyone in a story an equal amount of character development is ludicrous, not impossible, but ludicrous none the less.

Did you know that Mezizas actually has her own back story where she was once the righteous ivory queen ruling over Apocrea until four acolytes under her service went rouge and created the harvester? It corrupted the realm of Apocrea into the hell hole we know today and Mezizas was corrupted in the process. Of course, her back story is enough for a fan fic of her own, so it is simplified here and she is simply a mad queen.

And yes, you might be thinking, "Wow, that is a boring back story *yawn*", and I would agree, hence why I didn't go into details.

The main characters, be they hero or villain, cannot afford to be shallow if you want your story to be better than those trashy paperbacks found on retail check stands.

I am going to contest this statement as a character with a simple goal in mind can still make for a good story, but I get the jest, my character needs to have a layer or two to be one the audience can relate to or care for.

So if you don't mind, Time Warrior would most likely end here at Season one and never be continued. Unless you want to know what happened, the clues are inside the story I wrote in your tales from Morai war thread.

SPOILER FOR THE ACTUAL ENDING to TIME WARRIORS : Affraiel went back in past to kill himself in his prime, allowing spiral order to recover from the revolution he instigated, with their effort refocused onto the Morai War, the Spiral Order won an easy victoty, and never had to exodus to cradle. But Affraiel erased himself from existence in the process.

Sa, 10/10/2015 - 00:18

#1066

Thinslayer

Depth vs backstory

Backstory =/= depth. There are multiple elements that grant a character depth, including backstory, worldview, health condition, and the like. Darkwatck's characters, like Amaria and Firebug for example, are emotionally broken, which both supports and conflicts with their worldviews that prize fairness and justice. Justice likes being emotionally unbiased, but without empathy, it devolves into cruelty, which is often unjust. That's depth right there, and I didn't even mention backstory.

Affraiel is shallow. He's violent and crude, yet also wants to do what is right. Why? And I mean why everything. Why is he so violent? He can't pin it on Mezzias. That's just implausible. Why is he so crude? Does he have a beef against women? Why would he want to do what's right? What moral standard does he use? What drives him to cuss and sexually harass women one minute then turn and fight for vengeance and justice the next?

Nothing.

I mean, even people who just do whatever they feel like doing have some kind of internal standard by which they measure themselves. Affraiel is a baffling mess. For all I know, maybe there's a lot more to him, but if so, tell your readers. We're not telepaths, nor are we criminal profilers or anything. There's no way we're learning anything about your characters unless you tell us.

Simplicity is good. Shallowness is not. Shallowness doesn't highlight characters any more than bad writing highlights skill. It's has the opposite effect.

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MDJ's Random Story: Time Warriors