Spiral Knights - A Beastly Limerick Competition Heralding the Snarbolax--END

A Beastly Limerick Competition Heralding the Snarbolax--END

54 replies [Last post]

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 12:03

Raspberry

Beware the Snarbolax, my Knight!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
~~~~~~Nick the Impostocube~~~~~~

Greetings fellow knights and knightlings from the Obsidians!

In anticipation of the NEW CONTENT boss, the Snarbolax, as hinted by Nick the Impostocube, the Obsidians have decided to hold an epic poetry competition for all knights and knightlings. We have a few unbound items left over and some previously useless UVs as prizes.

Deadline:
Thursday, June 9, 2011 @ 5:00PM CDT (GMT-5)

Judges:
The judges of the limerick competition are the Obsidian alphas Raspberry, Thebadger, and guest judges.

Eligibility:
The Epic Limerick Competition is open to all knights. We were going to keep the competition open only to new knightlings who have not reached Tier2. However, by the time the competition closes, enthusiastic knightlings may have already reached Tier2 or even Tier3. So we decided to keep the competition open to all levels of knights within the Spiral Knights realm.

Objective:
Submit 1 limerick only based on the new beast themed Snarbolax to this thread. Please include your IGN (In Game Name). Yes, we know limericks are traditionally bawdy, but PLEASE KEEP YOUR LIMERICK ENTRIES CLEAN! Otherwise, your entry may get nuked by a GM.If you don't know what a limerick is, please check the Wiki definition at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29

Judging Bars:
50% Conformity to limerick convention
50% Conformity to theme
50% Creativity and originality
(Wait! Rasp, that's 150%! Derp! Well the judging bars are similar to the damage and protection bars attached to our gear and weapon information cards. Hence, in theory, visual representation can go beyond the maximum with no specific identifiable hard cap! There may also be an undocumented feature to the Judging Bars such as bonus points for humor.)

The Toys:
Since the new boss content is a Tier1 beast theme, the winner of the competition will receive some previously useless 1* and 2* UV toys in addition to some 3* and 4* goodies which are especially useful against beasties.

1* UV Haze Bomb with High UV extra bonus damage to beasts
2* UV Troika with Medium UV extra bonus damage to beasts
3* Non UV Magnus
4* Non UV Grand Flourish (unbound)
5* 25,000 Crowns Recipe Bounty

Reference Links:
http://twitter.com/NickPopovich
http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/9022
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 13:17

Azurenightmare

Unless I lagg out 'cause of a

Snarbolax, hide in your ditch
since unless I lagg out 'cause of a glitch
as you lay on the ground broken
I'll make off with your boss token
Snarbolax, you son of a [witch]!

IGN: Azurenightmare

(PS.: [witch] as in female canine) - Edit: still filtered in game so edited here
(PPS.: what are the rules regarding number of entries and later corrections and stuff?)
(PPPS.: sheeeet, nevermind I'm already t2 :( )

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 15:14

opaopa13

Legacy Username

Zarizeni's entry:

Snarbolax! No beast quite so currish,
But my bank I'm sure he will nourish:
He'll be counting his days,
when I faze him with Haze,
Then finish him off with a Flourish!

edit: Ha ha, thank you! I hope days/daze and flourish/Flourish count as puns, even though they weren't that well incorporated. "Then finish with a stylish Flourish!" just doesn't flow off the tongue. Why can't all -ish words rhyme??

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 13:32

Raspberry

@ LoneKnight

Nice submission (TheBadger is in stitches)! We'll just look at your first entry post. So if you need corrections, feel free to edit your entry post. TheBadger is a notorious paronomasiac (punster). Can you believe he was going to call this competition The Beastly LimeRICK ROLL. I wish I could throw a curse vial at him >.>

PS: Even if you do get to higher tiers, the Boss isn't out yet so you can still use the new toys. The Grand Flourish simply slays all manner of beast, gremlins, grievers, wings, and whatnots at tier3. People have been known to have a stab at Vanaduke with the 5* version of this sword. If I can find a Final Flourish Recipe, I'll officially add it to the toy bin list of prizes. Good luck.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 13:34

Raspberry

@ Zarizeni

Thank you for your entry! You have such panache! Good luck!

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:28

akragster

Legacy Username

The great beast known as

There's a great beast known as Snarbolax.
A proper sounding name, though, he lacks.
The devs thought they had spunk,
but I think they were drunk,
still I guess I should cut them some slack.

IGN: Krag

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 13:49

Providence

Legacy Username

I'm not competing, I just did it for fun:

Snarbolax, o thou of quick bite,
Aggressive—how I know your type.
Alpha wolvers beware
It’s not safe out there
Especially if you kids don’t get off my lawn.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 14:01

Raspberry

OMG!

I just snorted Mountain Dew! You guys know how hard it is to eat lunch while reading your limericks! Good job all of you!

I envision poor Providence going around his lawn with a pooper scooper.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 14:20

pmarshmallow

Legacy Username

I tried to make this one like

I tried to make this one like the Jabberwocky poem (I love that poem!), I hope you like it! :)

Beware, my sons, of Snarbolax!
With claws and with jaws it attacks!
If your sword's less than vorpal,
It might as well be incorp'al.
So relax, turn your backs: you'll be snacks.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:10

Nick

Developer

I very much approve of this

I very much approve of this competition. We'll certainly hang the best ones up on our walls here in the office.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:45

#10

Dasparian

Reflection Upon the Snarbolax.

Prepare yourself for this grand fight,
a demonstration of true might!
It's a matter of skill,
to kill or be killed-!
....yes Mom, I'm that dead knight.

IGN: Dasparian.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 18:10

#11

joolee

Legacy Username

Wolv from Nantucket

There once was a Wolv from Nantucket,
Who's tail was so long he could tuck it.
Drool dripped from his fang,
As he gaily sang:
"I'm Snarbolax, so go and suck it!"

I know some admins got nervous after the first line :)

IGN: Joolee

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 19:10

#12

Pupu

Legacy Username

Awesome

There's a new beast in the pit
Which we'll all try to aggrieve
There's but one question
That halts my progression
Will a poke-flute awaken it?

I don't really care much about the prizes, but this seemed fun. I also probably got it wrong since English is not my native language, derp.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 19:47

#13

Shue-Donnym

Xplad's entry

Snarbolax, you are a BLEEP
Who makes young knights shake and say "Meep"
I hate you so much
So don't keep in touch
'Cuz you'll fall down a hill that is steep.

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 20:23

#14

Berzerkules

I'm loving this. (Entry)

Curse you!! Ol' Snarbolax
Oh! How you haunt my dreams, fierce
I woke up and you were beside me.
Sweetie!! Fetch me another cold beer.

(My Girlfriend inspired me to concoct this great piece, Thank you baby, I heart you)

IGN: Berzerkules

Tue, 05/31/2011 - 23:24

#15

drmchsr0

Legacy Username

Some say the beast is rather

Some say the beast is rather dashing,
Others saw it's jaws a'gnashin',
But I have my Flourish!
And a Jelly Suit so garish!
I'm ready to face him- No wait, I got bashed.

IGN: Drmchsr

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 02:08

#16

Rageling

Snarbolax a beast of terror

Snarbolax a beast of terror and dread
Stalking without end for your head.
A pounce and a swipe
Will lay waste to your life,
Comparable to your evil ex-husband or wife.

IGN: rAGELING

*not married as of yet
**Not trying to alienate ex husbands or wives
***While I'm at it, not trying to alienate current evil husbands and wives. Carry on with your mustache twirling and evil cackling.

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 03:47

#17

voidstar

Legacy Username

You take your ladies by the

You take your ladies by the triples,
Since you prefer them to have six nipples.
Snarbolax you're a pimp,
But a bit of a blimp,
When I slap you I could ride the ripples.

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 04:13

#18

Teferi

On the popularity of Wolver Gear

Snarbolax, ye mighty great brute!
Please forgive the knights chasing your loot.
That brief piercing you've felt
is us taking your pelt -
Since the fashion, it seems, is your suit.

IGN: Teferi

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:49

#19

Credendo

Legacy Username

The Tale of the Wolver King

IGN: Credendo

Four knights on a run to the Core
Chanced upon a young wolver who swore
"Better cover your tracks
'Cause here comes Snarbolax
And he'll leave you all battered and sore!"

Then from out of a hedge did appear
Basil carrying a bunch of new gear
"I have just what you need
To make that beast bleed
And I'll sell you one each have no fear!"

But sadly the knights were all broke
Having spent all their crowns on a coke
Basil won't take CE
And the markets not free
So one of the knights smiled and spoke

"It seems we're a bit strapped for cash
But this beast will be easy to trash
If you'll loan us just one
And after we're done
We can pay you with loot from the bash"

Basil thought for a minute and said
"Well I've got this new crowbar I've read
Might be just the thing
For this foul wolver king
And may help you to kill the beast dead"

So the knight that spoke up grabbed the bar
And behind them a deafening roar
Signaled the attacks
Of the beast Snarbolax
And an army of wolvers weren't far

The knights fought as hard as they could
But the outlook sure didn't look good
As more wolvers poured in
And their life bars grew thin
Till soon only the one knight still stood

But the knight beaten down to a fluff
Saw the crowbar just wasn't to snuff
Cause a hit of the rental
Only did elemental
And that's why you should never pry wolf!"

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 10:42

#20

kevomatic

Legacy Username

Ground floor: perfumery, stationery, and leather goods...

Snarbolax is the name of the beast
On whose runs Tier 1 players will feast.
Will it be worth their time,
Their mist energy dime?
It should train them to shield, at least!

IGN: Couture

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 11:52

#21

Tennispro

Poor Snarbolax...

Onward I fight, a lesson to teach
though through tier one, my party must breach
until the great Snarbolax
destroyed by my pierce attacks
attempts to escape, my infinite reach.

IGN: Tennispro

Note: In order to keep a consistent meter, a slight pause is intended after each comma. Also, although some of the lines do not have the ideal syllable count, in my defense, I see them as a guideline to follow; not necessarily a rule. ;)

Though I don't hold high hopes having read some of the other entries, I had great fun writing this, especially as I do not consider myself a writer at all. Great work all, and keep those entries coming! :D

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 12:42

#22

Cinnabar

Legacy Username

Sick fires, yo.

On this strange planet we explore
And what can we do but implore?
The spiral HQ
To see what we do
And pay us a little bit more.

But HQ says it's out of the question
"If you want it, then show some aggression!"
Snarbolax, we come
With three swords and a gun
To test our time honored profession.

Well fought, you mangy old beast
You did not disappoint in the least
But if I may
I complain, to this day
That his corpse was not much of a feast.

IGN: Cinnibar

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 13:11

#23

Raspberry

@Nick and Knightlings Brave

ZOMG! So many great entries! Even from people who don't speak English as a first language. I wish I could speak Klingon as eloquently!

Thebadger and I are getting annoyed with Basil. He hasn't offered us another Final Flourish Recipe. I think the Snarbolax has been bribing him. Soooooooooooooo, we are throwing in 25,000 crowns to the winning entry as well. The winner can deal with Basil! Damn you Basil!

This competition is going to be hard to judge.

NICK! HELP!
Nick, seriously big guy, we're are going to need help with the judging. When the competition is over, which looks like in a week according to your twitter, let us know which are the office favorites that will be hung. We will choose someone from the office wall favorites. If we can't decide, then we'll will random a winner from the favorites. The office wall favorites will get honorable mention and some random goodies.

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 13:27

#24

Patito

hehe

Snarbolax I'm told you are new here
You'll need to know things, I'll make a few clear
godofskype is a troll
and energy whines are droll
but new content is rare, so for you we do cheer!

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 13:32

#25

Nick

Developer

You're free to run the

You're free to run the contest as long as you like, but the Snarbolax will be making his debut tomorrow.

We would be happy to help judge the entries, but this is your contest and if you're giving out the prizes I think you should really weigh in on who the winners should be.

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 13:47

#26

Raspberry

We accept your offer to help judge

Thank you Nick. We appreciate your great courage.

Judging is hard. We fear reading this thread with lunch in hand, because of the spew factor. We would hate to lose a laptop or Ipad to a laughing+lunch incident.

We are keeping the contest open for a week from tomorrow so that whoever wins and any honorable mentions can have fun with experimenting with toys they may not yet have.

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 13:51

#27

Dogrock

Judging is hard. We fear

Judging is hard. We fear reading this thread with lunch in hand, because of the spew factor. We would hate to lose a laptop or Ipad to a laughing+lunch incident.

Cleaning Mountain Dew off of one's screen is not a pleasant experience. Trust me on this one.

I love these entries.

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 14:03

#28

Caelean

Legacy Username

Snarbolax is the wolf form of Snorlax? o3o

Raving mad, Snarbolax, don't you dare!
You ate this poor chap's dainty hair!
And why be so queer
To stay in First Tier
When you could be romping down there?

IGN: Zhirisa

PS: How long can the Limerick be, stanza wise? There are some pretty nice ones that are laid out in multiple stanzas, but I'm just fine with one.

Wed, 06/01/2011 - 16:22

#29

Kilrain

I do love some elegant nonsense.

I had the same question as Caelean re: length, so I guess just count my second and third stanzas as optional. :/ (It was too much fun to stop at one)

Beware the chulsome Snarbolax, my Knight,
Unless you're karowling for a fight
Whose prize goes unseen
As a chromalisk's green
To proud braggans who deign not just kite.

And before you leave I must expound
On this forgant foe I've seen around:
You may think it simple
To make an early boss crimple,
But whence think you plawed these grave mounds?

You see, though his claws can croom boulders
And his gaze splarks beholders,
These are hardly distressing
For brave heroes progressing:
It's his breath that most Knights cannot shoulder.

IGN: Kilrain

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 05:07

#30

Raspberry

Stanza SK Style

Well, Spiral Knights has it own type of rapid fire charged convention.

Sentanza:

Charge Attack

Fires all 5 shots in rapid succession, and then a large purple howl that passes through all judges until it reaches max range or hits a wall, the howl does roughly 2.5 times normal damage and knocks the judges back/sideways. Due to the knockback, it can spew Mountain Dew on your screen up to 3 times.
~~~Shamelessly pirated from: http://wiki.spiralknights.com/Sentenza

I think I count at least 8 shots, possibly more. Extra shots if your rapier wit knocks all judges back/sideways till they can't breathe and turn purple from howling. This form of lethal limerick is otherwise known as ROFLMAOWSMD. (Rolling On Floor Laughing My Axe Off While Spewing Mountain Dew.)

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 05:19

#31

Fallout

Im enjoying these a heap. to

Im enjoying these a heap. to bad i'm untalented in poem righting. snarbolax is going down when i get home tomoro/today i usually miss these things...

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 08:36

#32

Splinter

Into the Wildwoods

The Snarbolax has teeth meant to gnash
claws that cut deep and claws that can slash
but to travel alone
into great Wildwoods throne
I'll need only the tip 'my Final Flourash

IGN - Splinter

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 10:03

#33

Necrax

hmmm....

A lurking beast, Creator of havoc
Fangs of iron, claws a metallic
Eyes laying shocks and stuns
Fur shielding from thy guns
Snarbolax a beast of nature's magic.

IGN: Necrax
haha i put some thought into this

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 14:53

#34

tsaitha

Legacy Username

My knight grew curious to see

My knight grew curious to see the beast of legend in its hidden lair, so journeyed deep with greatest care. But alas, the update is not quite done, so my knight won't be the first to embrace this fun... And thus my limerick that I bring to you, shall only be an almost sighting of this perplexing creature new.

---

There was a lost knight in the wildwood
Who brave before dark trees and teeth stood
Their white lengths were laid bare
He wished not to be there
And so fled the lost knight from the wildwood

IGN: Dove
I've tried to keep this to as traditional a form as possible. Could easily add a lot more verses and turn it into a story, but that seems less like a real limerick to me then!

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 14:50

#35

Raspberry

A firm deadline! June 9

Downloading patch now ... everyone at the Obsidian Den is bubbling with excitement. Thebadger just groaned because he doesn't see the gate yet. LOL ... Poor Thebadger /comfort

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 19:13

#36

Teferi

I just saw Thebadger chillin'

I just saw Thebadger chillin' outside the gate. But he had been idle for 3 minutes when I tried to message him, and ne'er did respond.
So I delved for more tokens.
One or two more runs and I should have a new shiney! :D

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 20:05

#37

Raspberry

Lol

Thebadger was playing with his Chipika (Chihuahua/Pekinese) at the time. It looks a little like a Snarby/Wolver cross.
http://img3.lln.crunchyroll.com/i/spire1/b32f7e10019031720786ad283de0f1f...

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 19:35

#38

XTUX345

Legacy Username

LOLZ

@Credendo

Your entry is hilarious! I hope you win!

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 19:46

#39

pkninja

Legacy Username

YES

@Credendo

WIN.

Thu, 06/02/2011 - 20:35

#40

Bangslash

The Snorlax looks like a

The Snorlax looks like a beast out of hell
But we're giggling and laughing as well!
His weakness, we've found
Is a metallic sound
And he fights to the death near a bell

Fri, 06/03/2011 - 07:39

#41

Raspberry

The Blonde Saga

I wrote an epic limerick just for fun. It is not part of the competition as I am one of the judges!

The Blonde Saga

There once was a blonde from L.A.
Who spent too much time on eBay.
She clicked on an ad
That made her quite glad
Twas an MMO Free-to-Play.

She died many times as a newb.
From not shielding that pinkish cube.
Her M.E. depleted.
The blonde was defeated.
Aha! Let's watch strats on YouTube!

Free-to-play blonde armed with plastic.
Decided to go bombastic.
Less than twenty in cash,
Comes with Static Flash,
Energy, stuff, just fantastic!

The steadfast blonde went a shopping.
Trade chat and A.H. a hopping.
With sexier gear,
The jellies now fear,
Charge attacks from plastic non-stopping!

So new boss beware of The Blonde.
Your Frumious Fangs she'll abscond.
Wilder than Snarby
Meet Plastic Barbie
The Stunning Belle with VISA wand.

Sat, 06/04/2011 - 17:04

#42

Hairytickle

Thought long and hard on this one...

Unlike most 'laxes you'll find
This beast's in a terrilous bind
Thick black like molasses -
A relief when it passes
And drops a few tokens behind!

IGN: Hairytickle

[Edit: beast -> beast's]

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 10:06

#43

Raspberry

Deadline Approacheth

Just 2 more days before the Snarby limerick competition ends.

We will be tossing in some beastly 2* UVs and 10,000 crown recipe bounties to the honorable unmentionables. Not sure at this point how many unmentionables there will be. So many great submissions to chose from!

Judging will take place over the coming weekend or whenever Sir Snarblebottom releases a guest judge.

We will also be working on a permanent page to display the winners and entries. Most likely SK Wiki.

Best regards,
Raspberry and Thebadger

PS: Next Obsidian competition: Gremlin Haiku Hijinks

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 11:07

#44

gamegeared

Legacy Username

Oh thorny beast of woods most

Oh thorny beast of woods most wild
Your eyes they burn like a devils child
But lo you fight in shadows shell
Yet pierced so quick by a ringing bell
Defenses broken your woods defiled

ign Gamegeared

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 15:48

#45

Eurydice

Community Manager

> PS: Next Obsidian

> PS: Next Obsidian competition: Gremlin Haiku Hijinks

Ooh, I was hoping a haiku contest would appear. This is excellent.

Anyway. Carry on!

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 19:51

#46

Guardianknight

Oh Snarbolax so ugly yet

Oh Snarbolax so ugly yet fierce
Twas your mighty spikes with which you pierced
My only ally, my closest friend
Whom I had to revive once again
To help me fight it which disappears

Oh evil one your days are numbered
For that night we lost shall be remembered
We come with strength and swords held high
To your lair, the place where you lie
Take heed my foe we shall not be hindered

We've planned the battle, how it will begin
How we will fight and how it will end
We've trained long and hard for this day to come
In the cold of the night, in the heat of the sun
Beware mighty beast as we seek our revenge

Alas tis time for the battle to commence
For it's been many long days and nights since
My trusted friend was felled by your claws
And gave way for our mission, our great and just cause
Oh great Snarbolax, I can't take the suspense

We fought and fought as night fell upon us
Many were lost, from wolvers that ambushed
But we reached the beast's lair and started the fight
Ahh the stories that will be told of that night
From my cold iron sword, the beast fell vanquished.

IGN The one and only, Guardianknight.

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 20:25

#47

Darkgeek

Legacy Username

Limerick entry.

Oh Snarbolax, I fein
That you are not a bit vain
But when we are through
Chopping up you
All you will feel is pain.

IGN: Shadow-Nerd.

Thu, 06/09/2011 - 03:17

#48

Aglaija

Legacy Username

entry :)

Ok here's my try, sry for the bad English ;)

There is a knight called Leeroy
who always tries being a hero
but without Snarbolax' head
or with claws in his back
he will forever stay zero.

IGN: Aglaija

Thu, 06/09/2011 - 07:21

#49

spookas

Legacy Username

O Snarby

*ahemhemhem*

O Snarby, invincible monster,
Of killing me, no one is fonder,
But this bell I will strike
It'll knock off his spikes
And invincible, Snarby's no longer!

IGN spookas

Thu, 06/09/2011 - 17:37

#50

Raspberry

Competition Closed - Judging Phase

We are working on a SK Wiki page complete with wallpaper for this competition. We will be making a wallpaper for the winning entry as well. Thanks a bunch for making this a fun competition. We <3 the SK Community! You all rock!

Cordially,
Raspberry and Thebadger

PS: Now that the Limerick Competition is closed, Thebadger put up a temporary SK Wiki page on his own user page. We will republish the page in it's own category after the judging is over and we do a wallpaper honoring the winning entry. (Thebadger wants his User page back...lol) In the mean time, here is what the Limerick Competition page looks like:
http://wiki.spiralknights.com/User:TheBadger

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A Beastly Limerick Competition Heralding the Snarbolax--END