When I was born, I wrapped the OB-GYN in a blanket and handed him to his mother. While other toddlers were learning to walk, I learned how to rotate the earth with my feet. I dropped out of school because I was too good at schooling the teacher. When I hit puberty, it lost consciousness and was never the same again. By the time I was an adult, I had 90% of the world's testosterone supply inside my body.
I don't eat, but I chew discarded car tires for the flavor. I don't drink alcohol because I don't want to support the big oil companies. What most people call "night" is when I take off my shirt. I've never taken a life because life was already mine. The only reason I'm alive is because life's too afraid to leave me.

After realizing how tough I am, Changonanak kicked himself out the Salty Spitoon and planted his face into the ground with shame. From his face sprouted a tree that I chopped down with a single stare.

I defeated Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee over 9000 Times when i was a baby.

Imagremlin realizes how tough i am. And he takes a sword an stabs himself

I ate 500000 Bananas,, In 30 seconds, WITHOUT SWALLOWING.

I spit my banana peels at Sonosuke until he died

I walked on Lego's in my bear feet and didn't even flinch.

Sir-Henry-Cooldown witnessed it and fainted in pure awe.

I can't die. For I am a ghost. Also, I killed Frostylord.

I elbow Doc-Space in the face (heh, rhyme) before flinging him out of the Spitoon for using weapons to remove people from the Spitoon.

I'm the reason why Sonosuke has to have the #Sonosuks tag ever since last year.

My carpet is made of loose lego bricks with all edges up.

My spike bed is inch by inch with needles as thin as thread.

My Pillow is a rabid racoon I decided to beat up one day and stuff him with cotton... alive.

And this computer I'm typing with? Well, let's say Michael Bay won't be making too many Transformer movies now because they we're all just scrapmetal needing to be punched into a better system than looking like cheap knock-offs.

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/f0/f0ed471caea634d323c7e93b863bc25dc38cc405...

Then Sonosuke thought over how he should spell his name better with being #Sonosucks while Sir Henry is debating whenever or not I should appreciate his Chef's cooking of a bear having a swordfish stuffed in it's mouth, with a red hawk stuffed in the fish's mouth, punched to death, all 3 of them, for their land, sea, and sky special without it being cooked and the innards/bones in tacked. And you know what I say?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olN-V_sl4Aw

I sing Justin Beiber and Myst commits suicide.

IM SO TOUGH, I EAT SPIKES EVERYDAY.
I DRINK POISON

I'm a unikitty, and you all need to be more friendly.