Shadow of Shadows (Fanfic)
Fri, 08/01/2014 - 07:29
Prologue - Part1
The rain poured down the town like a barrage of arrows, moonlight peaked through the legion of raindrops, strong winds blew through the dark stone roads, devoid of life, a chorus of tinks and tanks could be heard as the rain poured harder and harder on the rooftops of the houses below. The night, they say shadows of a lurking creature appear around this time of day. The creature was no mere beast in the wild, he was considered the deadliest if the pack. Not even a single person has lived to see him. Yes, this Beast, was no mere beast, even knights of high orders fear him, though not much has seen him. Yet, many say he does things which are far beyond the normal standards, they even said he killed few high ranking commanders, high Gremlin commands and he is going to hunt some unlucky Isoran who crosses his path.
This Beast, not only he was talented at killing, he was a legend. But unlike a legend, he was indeed still alive,he has lived in the shadows waiting for another prey, he was a dangerous man, feared throughout the Orders. At the time of midnight, he lurks out of the shadows, face covered in darkness. Blue grizzly eyes, sharp claws, a shadow of a ghost and a hood of a reaper. The Beast up on a rooftop, crouching scrutinizing every single part of the road he could see. One man, heading back home, saw the Beast and ran away. The Beast showed his glinting teeth and rushed towards his house at full speed.
The night went on and so did the chase. The man kept on running here and there, alley to alley, road to road. The shadow is watching from the rooftops, knowing his every move. The old man, still running for his dear life, there was a motorcycle just a few meters away, he rushed to it, got on it and zoomed past the dark alleyways of the suburban complex. But it still didn't save him from the Beast's wrath.
"A runner eh? I love a good hunt." The Beast whispered as his teeth glinted under the moonlight, smiling like a madmen, face of a sadist, ready to kill.
The Beast lunged at a nearby rope and swung from it to the motorcycle. The man was clever, as a turn was a approaching, he drifted the motorcycle, making the Beast miss him only by a little. The man escaped, the Beast struck the rock hard road, face first and rolled onto a wall, face first.
"That's it... That's the last straw."
A death wish it was for the man, as the beast hopped on a rope and went to the rooftops once again.
Sun, 08/03/2014 - 10:06
#2
Next...
Prologue - Part 3
Rain continued to pour down outside, thunders roaring and the old man who once was predator was now prey. The shadow chased after him, each lightning strike seemed to make him disappear, like a ghost. It didn't take long until the old man, soaking wet, found a dead end. It was his doom, his nightmare, his time, its as if the Reaper has came to take his life.
As the shadow closed in, the man, already on his knees; pleaded to him. The rocky ground at his feet, the man looked at the figure with horror and panic. Every breath was going to be his last.
"Pleaaasee! Don't kill me!!"
Standing still the Beast showed his glinting claws and only gave an eerie smile, a blue glow from his sinister eyes also lit up like fire. Looking at the man from top to bottom, as he looked at his prey, he lost interest in it. Lightning struck for the last time and the Beast shown his glinting claws.
"... That's none of my concern."
Within a strike of lightning and a boom of thunder, the old knight was gone forever. The Beast returned to his house and burnt his home, killing his family. This only one of the many events he has done, the Beast has killed hundreds, even thousands. He has stolen lives of innocent knights, he did it only for one thing, for revenge.
As dawn approached, the rain started to end and the fire had been spreading throughout the whole block, near this block is a weapons facility, about to be engulfed in flames. The shadow went to the darkness never to be found, never to be seen. As soon as he left, a loud 'boom' sound filled the thunderous night and a siren from the HQ rolled in with it.
It was dawn, the Beast saw everything that was happening, fire was spreading, knights putting out flames and the raging sound of fire. The shadow was watching from a distance, face shone by sunlight, a knight wielding dual hidden blades and a white hood with a beak and leather armor, bearing a symbol of an ancient organization, the Shadows. The mysterious knight headed back to the shadows without a trace leaving all the chaos behind him.
Fri, 08/01/2014 - 07:46
#3
A Break
Well after a lot of sweat and hard work, I was able to make this, all of you who read this may criticize my story if its bad or good ( which I think will mostly be bad) and feel free to add in some characters in to the story, as I'm running out of good names for knights .__. , anyway I can't post these stories as much as I want to as, I am away from my homeland. But without further ado, enjoy the story so far.
Application Form :
Name:
Personality:
Bio:
Physical Features:
Combat Gear:
Other Stuff:
Fri, 08/01/2014 - 11:03
#4
Hm...? O.o
Well, to me, it seems awfully short.
In addition, I don't know quite exactly what is the premise of the story, so I don't know what kind of character I can make that'll fit.
As for your writing style...
Well, if you want me to sympathize for the Old Knight, I personally would've poured some salt into his wounds by either :
1. Killing his entire family before killing him.
2. Killing him in front of his entire family.
3. Torturing his family in front of him and then killing him.
^From years of writing, I've realized that if you wanted a character to be brutal, you'll have to make him / her go to some real, lowly lows. If you really want to make your character be infamous, list out a few crimes or make his style of execution absolutely visceral. <---On another note, do be careful not to write some overly 18+ stuff with explicit gore and so forth.
Also, you might need to keep a little tense consistency. Last line of Prologue Pt 1 was inconsistent with the rest of the text.
Fri, 08/01/2014 - 16:37
#5
Thanks for the info :)
Yes I do think it is gorey and very short. I also just realized it , I'm also trying to edit it from scratch again, so I'm going to try and rearrange stuff in the prologue , thanks for pointing that out though.
Sun, 08/03/2014 - 10:11
#6
Another Break...
Phew , it seems I made myself tired of all this reworking, haha. I hope now, it is more enjoyable as this took a long time to came out. I will be posting Chapter 1 soon enough. So enjoy the story :) and feel free to criticize on it too , the more the criticism the better the story will get :)
Mon, 08/04/2014 - 09:10
#7
Next...
Chapter 1 - Part 1 Dawn of Night
The day made way and the rain ended. Opening the window, which was torn in half, sunlight went in to my dark room. I sat on my bed, watching the life of knights and strangers outside of my room, trading, chatting, auctioning, even making friends. As I looked out the window, I decided to get out of the bed and get a cup of hot Forbidden Fruit tea, the sweet flavor reminds me of Isoran Spikecherries, smells like them too. I looked outside once again and decided to think about... Things. Things that I could've done to be someone that's praised not feared, but I guess that's impossible to change now. I grabbed a small bit of Toxic Core and fed it to Drak, the little guy never really liked Reaper Ribs for a Maskeraith.
I opened my HUD, which shone a bright blue light that almost blinded me, and saw a new message, I tapped on the 'Messages' button, I was needed for an important mission. Its been a long time I went on a mission, the last one was ugly, my squad got slaughtered by a Frostifur pack, I was the only one alive that was able to injure the alpha, knocking out two of its teeth, it was a cold and harsh snowstorm when I got them, then I used it to make these hidden blades. These blades were forged in the finest Sun Silver I could find, reinforced with Volcanic Iron to make that fiery effect that I always liked and to strengthen the blade. Then I had my trusty Argent Peacemaker and Setenza that was basked in sunligt shining brightly of yellow and purple, respectively. I never bring them until an urgent matter appears. In this case, I would call it urgent, as the message speaks for itself :
" Mr. Xenon we need you help with an urgent mission, our knights have spotted a nearby Gremlin factory, mass producing an array of new weapons, we also fear some Rebels have joined forces with them, also we have investigated strange energy signals from within the factory. We need your help and three more elite vanguards, take them out at once. We appreciate your cooperation with us.
Regards,
Commander Feron"
A squad, I don't do well in these conditions, but if I am needed then this must be dangerous mission. I sighed. Looking at my old and busted Azure Guardian armor, I served the Spiral HQ, but that was long ago, now I live up by the name of 'The Shadow' , ' The Beast' or 'Reaper', I had a lot of names. But it didn't matter, I went out of the bed, closed my HUD, equipped my Argent Peacemaker and Setenza, re-armed my hidden blades, called Drak over and headed out to New Haven, upon exiting the door I put on my hood and headed out.
As I went out I saw the mess I have made, the ashes I left, the memories of despair. It had to be done, I always thought, even if I didn't like it. I headed to the ashes and left a rose. A rose of respect, of honor, of vengeance, of justice. As I lay down the rose in the ashes, a certain man called out to me.
"Mr.Xenon, it's wonderful to see you out here." A familiar voice that has always ringed in my head the first time I got here.
"What do you want Mr.Morqoir ?"Mr. Morqoir, a blabber mouth, his ego is bigger than his words too, acting all elegant and such, boasting all about how rich he is. His words, may be the death of him, but sometimes, on rare occasions, the world just loves him and lets him survives any deathtrap thrown at him.
"I just came to see on your condition, due to your recent mur- activities, yes, activities..." I sighed, everyone is all the same, what I do is for something else than just plain old' murder.
"I wouldn't call it "murder"."
"Oh? Then what would you call it, sir?"
"Justice, and stop calling me 'sir', Mr. Morqoir" The sound of it makes my ears hurt, I was a 'Sir' but now not anymore. Leaving Spiral HQ changed me, a lot, I lived alone, a few friends, little money, no purpose, no goal. Until now that is, I got on my motorcycle and zoomed through the road, going to New Haven, leaving Rhundel Morqoir behind.
"Sir? Sir?!!! How dare he leaves me be, Huuh! I got better things to do!"
Prologue - Part 2
The Beast rushed towards the roof of an innocent man's house, in front of the door was a motorcycle he remembered. From his hands shown a glint of steel, a sword? A dagger? No one knows, all he knew was to kill. He swung down from the rope of the home and crashed into the house's window. A loud crash made it's way through the thunderous night. The Beast was ravaging through the dark room , only lit by the moonlight, then the door creaked.
It stopped.
"......"
Nothing came out of the door. Only the sound of footsteps.
Then a crash-bang of the door.
"Raaaaaggghh!!!!"
An old knight appeared from the shadows, wielding an axe, he smashed it to the old wooden floor, splinters flew in every direction and left a cracking sound throughout the room. The shadowed figure dodged the attack, by simply strafing left.
"Heh, you haven't lost that old touch have you?"
"Why are you here?"
The shadowed figure walked left and right, slowly scrutinizing his prey.
"Me? You have something I want and I need it, now."
The old man, baffled, stuttered, almost looked like he had a heart attack.
"Why would you want that? It has nearly killed all of us!"
The shadow stood still.
"'Almost', not 'Will', Now hand it over."
With tension growing each and every second, when they barked. The old man handed over an artefact, it glowed blueish-green in the shadow's hand.
"What are you going to do with it?" The shadow looked at the old man and gave him an eerie smile. The old man saw no mercy, rushed out the door and out to the rain. The shadow quickly followed and gave chase.