Forums › English Language Forums › General › General Discussion

Search

Paintool's Scientifically Calculated Conspiracy Thoery

6 replies [Last post]
Thu, 09/18/2014 - 05:05
Paintool's picture
Paintool

Three Cheerios is secretly a kiddy farming Chuck E. Cheese paradice hidden behind a token econonmy pay wall. The similarities are astounding! The entire store and game is set up to manip- coerce minds into a brightly colorful world filled with mechanical monstrosties and horrible, smelly little animals eating our pizza. The ball pit is all free to play in, but once you've decided "Vana's fire balls are fun to play with, but I'll be a gremlin's uncle if I can't pay this fine establishment REAL MONEY to play some nifty games in the "ARCADE". So you go the guy standing behind the prize booth counter, and his name is Kinc, because he's obviously king of the place, amiright? Now Kinc's been here a while and he's seen many a kiddos toss around their pizza prize boxes for their birthday parties because they got clothes and sock instead of the latest new NERF blaster. Kinc is cool. He wants you to have fun. And he's all like "Hey there fellow patron! How would like some tokens AND some pizza? If you get enough tickets, you'll win a prize! That sounds like a pretty good deal. Tokens AND PIZZA? PRIZES!? I haven't had this much fun since I left the hat store with more hats than I could ever wear. AND KINC IS GIVING ME PIZZA! You pay Kinc your money and get your tokens to play in the arcade, you rush in there trying to have a good time, and you do. Because the ARCADE is empty; it's yours my friend. Do you wanna ride the mechanically dead wolver ride, or how bout the blast network mini game? You have a spectacular time, but eventually you run out of tokens and you have to go back to see KINC with all these tickets to earn prizes. You stare Kinc straight in the face and say, "I WANNA PLASTIC SPIDER RING!" But Kinc is like "I wish I could you give you plastic spider rings, but management says I can't give them to you yet." So what are you gonna do with all these tickets! Dat new nerf blaster high up on the ceiling is collecting dust more than a Deadly Splinter Bomb in a Blitz Needle Stack. You get angry. the kid eating the pizza gets angry, and Vog be Gamned if your parents could see you now pouring money into Chuck E. Cheese like it's a [edited] and everyone wants to go but they can't because ~it's your birthday~ AND THEN YOU EXPLODE WITH THE FORCE OF A THOUSAND BIG ANGRY BOMBS!!! I PAID MONEY TO GET INTO THIS PLACE, I ATE YOUR PIZZA AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME? Where's a little customer appreciation? You toss your tickets to the floor and threaten Kinc. A tear of solemnity trickles down his face... because Kinc is blind... and a smoker... and spends what little money he can get working at Rinky Dink frozen stale pizza factory.

And Kinc looks you in the face and says, "I'm sorry kid, but rules are rules. If you like you should take it up with the management."

Who's the management you say?

And Kinc says, "The management is... DR. ROBOTNIK!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TL;DR
This is spiral knights:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqEq6uyPuU8

Thu, 09/18/2014 - 05:16
#1
Blazzberry's picture
Blazzberry
SCP-96

I don't know how you keep getting out of your padded cell but this will be the last.

Thu, 09/18/2014 - 07:06
#2
Zaffy-Laffy's picture
Zaffy-Laffy

Is it that time again? Hi, I'm the official (not) gravekeeper, here to assist this old hunk of metal to his grav... I mean his sanctuary, where he will be remembered for all eternity. Ignore that Grittle's grave, I have a more special place for you.

Fri, 09/19/2014 - 15:22
#3
Gbot-Vtwo's picture
Gbot-Vtwo
boo!

"Three Cheerios" Ok first you spelled that wrong. And second THIS IS THE WORST GUESS EVER!

Fri, 09/19/2014 - 16:27
#4
Paintool's picture
Paintool
Fehzor can make crazy

Fehzor can make crazy stories: http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/69363

Why can't I?

Fri, 09/19/2014 - 18:02
#5
Duskfinder's picture
Duskfinder
What's one thousand minus seven?

You're not Fehzor.

Fri, 09/19/2014 - 18:04
#6
Zaffy-Laffy's picture
Zaffy-Laffy

Because Fehzor is ded and buried in his grave. Now get back in yours!

Powered by Drupal, an open source content management system