This is journal entry 27 of the Knight; Boyjakey (Name will be changed to Amiroc once I get a name change pass).
I decided to go to the clockworks for a small mining expedition, as I was making may way around the clockworks I came across a gate with am energy lock on it, nearby the gate there was a warning note, that note made it clear that the area past this gate seemed very dangerous, I went with the warning and just moved on, but the idea just sits in my head, what would be past those gates, the warning said something about a reward as well but I can honestly say that I didn't fell very heroic, I'll leave it for another knight.
This is journal entry 28 of the Knight Elite; Boyjakey.
As I was wondering the haven the idea of that gate still sat in my head, I said to myself "Your a Knight Elite now, you can take'em!" but something deep down inside is still telling me no, maybe another mining run will take my mind of things.
This is journal entry 29 of the Knight Elite; Boyjakey.
While I was mining away I realised that I've been down in here for more than 2 days straight, I thought to myself it would probably be best to head back, as I was making my way back I came across that locked gate once again, it was a candy, just the thought of the prize made me feel rich, I know there's something in there that I want, I can feel it. I dropped my weapons and tools and went to open the gate, I pulled out one of the gold keys i found lying around but found that it did not fit, confused, I dropped the gold key and tried using a silver key, once again the key does not seem to open the gate, I put the keys away and take my weapons tools and I head back to haven, taking that as a sign not to open the gate.
This is journal entry 30 of the Defender; Boyjakey
While I was speaking to a stranger, I saw two Knights in cobalt like armour, it looked like cobalt armour but had gold outlining it, I've never seen armour like that before, I finished up talking with the stranger and decided to have a closer look at these 2 knights, the 2 knights appeared to be talking to Cort about something, I wasn't quite sure what through, but it wasn't my business really, so I stopped staying at these knights and moved on with my daily life.
This is journal entry 31 of the defender; Boyjakey
HQ contacted me about some anonymous threat, this threat has captured some researches and equipment, I was sent down to investigate and take out the threat, I saddled up and readied myself for the possible danger. HQ sent me to depths 3 where the researches were last spotted, I made my way through and found no trace of the researches, but I did find those 2 Knights in the shinny cobalt armour, the were quite far away but i could make out that they were just talking to each other, I didn't make much of a deal of it though, I see plenty of other knights around the clockworks just passing by, I went down to depths 4 where it seemed to be a gremlin base of operations, I knew then what I might be up against, as I fought my way through the area I came across a gate, I looked through the gate and found the research team, but I also saw a giant deconstruct figure messing with some buttons, I saw on his back it had the crimson symbol and 'The Collector', then the door suddenly opened and the collector turned facing me, I readied my weapon and charged to attack him.
After the fight I opened the gates to free the researches, I helped them out of the clockworks after leaving a flare for a Salvage Team to take the battle sprites and equipment taken by The Collector, once I made it out of the clockworks with the researches, I medical team was waiting to assist, the medical team took the researches to help them, when everyone else left I saw those two knights, this time they were right in front of me, they looked at me and then look back at each other and nodded at the same time, I think that was just to look cool, then looked back at me and the knight on the left said "Greetings, Defender, I am Rendorth and this hear is Onric, we are apart of an organisation known as 'Tri-Guard', Tri-Guard is a group of specially trained knights that go on missions other knights would not, I feel you have what it takes!" and then he said with a quiet voice "But Onric here thinks otherwise, he thinks fighting a giant robot with big guns is not enough!" and then Onric spoke looking at Rendorth "It's not that, i just thought he could've done it a little faster, you know?" Then Rendon raises his voice with a slight high pitch to top it off "Look, we may be specialists but we're not gods!" the two kept fighting for a while and i think at one point the forgot i was even there, finally they decided to call it even, Onric then looked at me once again and said "Now, just one more test, just to be sure you have what it takes!" Rendorth crosses his arms in clear anger at Onric, by this point I have made the guess that they are either brothers or an old married couple.
This is journal entry 32 of the defender; Boyjakey.
The two knights and I went down to depths 15, there we made are way to the gate that had a strange lock, Rendorth pulled out an Engery pod and used it to open the door, i thought to myself. "Right, that makes sense..." Onric looked at me and said to me with a face that has seen victory "You are to go in there and fight the enemies that tread those floors." and I replied "Only!?" Rendorth then said to me "Well thats my part of the agreement, I may assist you in the fight." Onric then told me "Go on now, move along!" As I make my way through this area I see around it is an arena, out of nowhere a large group on beasts and slimes apear around the Rendorth and myself.
This is journal entry 33 of the defender; Boyjakey.
After the what seemed like endless hoards of enemies finally ended, a gate opened and a slight glow of victory spilled out of the room, the knight and I moved towards the room, inside was a reward worse fighting for. The knight and I made our way back out of the arena and there stood Onric, he seemed as if he approves. we all made our way back out of the clockworks, once we were out of the clockworks Rendorth was speaking to someone through coms, he then looks at me and says "The Commander is looking forward to meeting you, Boyjakey."
This is journal entry 34 of the defender; Boyjakey.
The 2 knights took me to the hall of hero's and spoke to one of the warden knights, the knight then nodded and pointed to the elevator, the 2 knights and I went to the elevator and Onric activated it, to my surprise the elevator went up, once we stopped and walked off the elevator I saw a huge base of operations and running around were tuns of the golden cobalt knights, then a knight with Golden Wolver armour walked up to me, he then said in a deep voice "Greetings, Defender, welcome to the Tri-Guard HQ." and looks up to the 2 knights and says "Thank you for bringing him here, you are dismissed." Then they both saluted and left to a random position the the base, The Golden Wolver Armoured knight said in his deep voice "I am the Commander of Tri-Guard, those knights seem to think that you have what it takes to join this organisation, I trust that those knights are making the right call, should you chose to accept." after talking for a while with the commander he finally said to me. "Welcome aboard, Boyjakey."
This is Journal entry 35 of the defender Elite; Boyjakey of the Tri-Guard Organisation.
After I have returned from a recent mission I got a message, it was an invitation to a guild called 'Spiral Specialists', I accepted the invite and made my way to the guild hall to check it out, once i made it to the guild hall I saw Rondoth and Onric by the door fighting, so at least I know everything is still normal, I walk past them try not to take notice, as I went into the guild hall The commander and some other Tri-Gaud knights were sitting around a large table and looks of paper work and consoles set up, the knight next to The Commander indacated me to sit down, everyone was talking to one and other. The commander rose his hand and everyone silenced themselves, the commander began to talk and he said "Alright, it has come to my attention that the clockwork's activity has risen, let me ensure that i have a team checking it out now, I'm sure it's just nothing, but I have gathered you here not because of the rising activity but because of a strange energy reading, Spiral HQ has sent me word that they have lost contact with their recon team, they have sent a rescue team but they lost contact with them as well, not every a distress signal was sent, Spiral HQ wants us to check it out, Gonroth, the officer of this guild is going to break you into 2 teams, 1 is the rescue team, the other is incase things get a bit heavy." Then Gonroth split us all into two teams, I was put on Backup team. The Commander than said "Alright, your objective is clear, you need to go deep into the clockworks and find those knights, bring them back to haven, then you are to investigate the energy source, I want readings, am I understood!" We all shouted "Yes sir!" and then The commander said "Dismissed~!" and we all saluted and went out to the clockworks.
This is Journal entry 36 of the Defender Elite of the Tri-guard organisation, Boyjakey of the guild 'Spiral Specialists'.
As the rescue team moved up, the backup team slowly followed. The rescue team seem to have found a lot of slime creatures and the strange energy readings a very similar to the slime readings. we all moved up some more, we started to pick up a distress beacon, one of the knights picked it up, then suddenly all around us a huge group of slimes dripped from the walls, we all took up arms and battle the creatures. after the long fight all the slimes finally fall, but before we could sat to celebrate all the slime started to form in one giant being of slime, glowed red and suddenly spun around the room we all charged towards the giant slime hack and slashing away at it, as we cit it the smaller pits of slime formed smaller slimes, tiny purple ones, the rangers short off most the small slimes and the swordsman fought the giant slime beast, after a long an very hard fight, most of us were injured, some worse than others, our armour was coved in bits of slime, then one of the knights spotted the other knights that we came for. we helped them out of the clockworks, as we were on our way out all our armour and weapons started to melt from the acid of the slime on us. I radioed for medical assistance, I got no response. when we made it out of the clockworks I tried once again to call for a medical team, and again the was no response. once we made it back to the guild hall we saw that it was destroyed and raided, only the commander was found inside the guild hall, but he didn't make, they was a distress call console on the ground, I played the distress call console, it all i could hear was a knight screaming for help and a huge battle in the background.
This is Journal entry 37 of the Champion of the Tri-guard organisation, boyjakey
Me and the other 7 survivors of the Tri-Guard Organisation went to burry the one body we found in the blades of the fallen, we took what was left from the guild hall and made do with that. Now the Tri-Guard Organisation is only me, the other 7 decided that it was nothing now, but I feel I can bring it back to it's glory it once had. I leave this note a symbol that I wont give up, I, as the new leader of the Tri-Guard organisation will avenge those who tried to defend it.
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Thanks for taking the time to read this story, be sure to tell me with you think.
May glory follow your path.
~Aminor Garax
It follows somewhat closely, but that's not the point. There's only little to be known on the actual lore itself, so many fanficts often become mundane without some inserted content from the writer. You can believe whatever you want to believe, and write whatever you want to write, since this is a fanfiction. Of course, you can't detract a million miles away and include other franchises and call that your own content, but as far as using this game in particular for source, you're free to do whatever you want.
Now, for the real two cents...
I'd suggest that you polish your entire story a little bit to be more concise, as I'm seeing you write down really wordy segments like :
"I pulled out one of the gold keys i found lying around but found that it did not fit, confused, I dropped the gold key and tried using a silver key, once again the key does not seem to open the gate, I put the keys away and take my weapons tools and I head back to haven, taking that as a sign not to open the gate."
when it could've been shortened to :
"I picked up one of the many gold keys found lying around the gate, but it did not fit. Confused, I dropped the gold one and picked up a silver key; that, however, did not work either. I was a little dejected, but hey, I guess some things weren't meant to be opened. I picked up my equipment and left."
^This avoids run-on sentences, while adding a more realistic, personal tone to the story. In a first-person diary / journal, people don't expect to read accounts and experiences as stories. Include monologues, try to remove passive verbs, and really, just add at least SOME punctuation (or a lot). Also, you can up the ante with the vocabulary, or water it down to slangs. I find it that readers enjoy a colorful story one way or the other, and yours...is more than just a little lacking in color.
That being said, you've written at least this much, so the sheer quantity you have isn't something to take light of. Make use of that well, since a lot of good writers get lazy and can only pump out so much before they quit.