Spiral Knights - The Dwarf Mountain game

The Dwarf Mountain game

10 replies [Last post]

Fri, 11/14/2014 - 17:32

Tehepicwin

Before we begin, we must establish a few points.

1. I am the Mountain Master known as Ironhead BeardRipper, and I decide your fates.

2. I am omnipotent, omniscient, and completely immortal.

3. I can be reasonable.

4. I can be sadistic.

5. My mood depends on the decision making of you dwarves.

With those out of the way, it's time to start mining inside the mountain, settle inside, and become filthy rich! However, you can't mine without taking the persona of a dwarf. Since all dwarves are the same, the only thing to create is a name. Here is how you create a name:

First name: Generic dwarf name or anything dwarf related.

Last name first part: Dwarf-related noun.

Last name second part: Dwarf-related verb.

For example, your name can be Ingot ShieldBearer, Mine ExplosiveBlower, or anything along those lines.

Congratulations, you have made a dwarf! Remember, don't get too attached to them because I can kill them at will.

Painfully. Very, very painfully.

One last note: You don't have to make applications or that any of that crap. Just join in, but if you clearly try to troll I will just not incorporate you in the Events happenings.

Blah, blah, time to begin this mountain derp.
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EVENT #1:

In the beginning, there was iron.

The Ironhead BeardRipper was not impressed, so he added a bunch of new ore into the Earth. Then, he thought to himself, why not put in some dwarves so I can make them happy, then torture and mutilate them for fun? He did just that.

In order to give them something to do, Ironhead made the most magnificent mountain of all time. Taller than Mount Everest, larger than the largest animal, and richer than Paris Hilton.

He put a forest to the North, flat farmland East and West, and Mordor (Hell on Earth) to the South.

Then, it was time. Ironhead brought in the souls of dwarves, placed them beside the mountain, gave them basic tools, and told them to start digging. It wouldn't be long before they discovered his true intentions.
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This will be fun...for me.

Fri, 11/14/2014 - 18:22

Crazee-Pi-Forum

Nothing is scary when you add Tetris music!

"Wait, so I'm supposed to diggy diggy that-a-way? No way, I'll be heading this-a-way if ya all need me!" and so Dwarfern Crazee Pi headed South to Mordor.

((In all seriousness though...))

"Well we'll (me) be needin to go over some basic priorities before we go diggy diggy. First we make farms so all our Dwarfern bellies can be full," said Crazee Pi. With that Crazee Pi set off north to the woods in order to get wood in order to build a small farm near where the entrance to their future fortress would be located.

((What are the basic tools?))

Fri, 11/14/2014 - 18:55

Tehepicwin

Sadism: Temporarily Offline

Basic tools are pickaxes, axes, and most importantly, fake beards in case your old one falls off. These do not include breastplates, helmets, flashlights, motors, or swords. If I need entertainment and release a monster at you, you will either be dead or living in agony.

The reason it's called a game and not a torture simulator is because I don't necessarily have to torture. I only torture dwarves when:

1. Nothing interesting happens.

2. You spoil yourselves in your dwarf adventures, such as finding gold randomly. I might let it slide, but don't count on it.

3. You attempt to overthrow me.

Fri, 11/14/2014 - 19:19

Flame-Shinobi

Our Saga Begins...

With a young dwarf named Ale Flaskswallow. Young Ale loved digging, but always thought something was missing. One day he fell down a hole and found the ancient statue of Simon Honeydew, the greatest dwarf ever to exist. The statue played a melody as young Ale dug, and as he sung he obtained the amazing singing and mining strength of Simon Honeydew. He dug nad found nothing for hours, nothing but a small lump of coal.

Sat, 11/15/2014 - 09:31

Crazee-Pi-Forum

Nothing is scary when you add Tetris music!

((Wait, that 2, does that mean we choose what we find?

I could tell from the beginning there would be a lot of Yogcast references))

Sat, 11/15/2014 - 12:53

Tehepicwin

Yes, yes it does

Those Yogscast references though...

Anyway, you choose what you find when you mine inside the mountain and beneath it. But remember, it has to be reasonable. Thankfully for dwarves, the mountain is richer in ore than Paris Hilton. In order to provide you guys with some drive, I can put things inside the mountain and derp.
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Event #2
Ironhead looked down upon the dwarves. They were making good progress, and it had only been 18 hours. He thought about their lack of real dwarven motivation despite their situation. Hmm...

He discovered the answer while playing Dwarf Fortress. Somehow, running out of beer relates to treasure. Ironhead placed a gem known as the Infinity Crystal inside the mountain, then brought out his temporary author avatar to kick the dwarves in the nards for fun. After the groin attacks, Ironhead slapped the dwarves with his omnipotent hand and told them about the crystal. He was careful not to mention some of the other things inside the mountain.

Sat, 11/15/2014 - 18:30

Flame-Shinobi

Well Ale was digging

He found a strange gem labeled with a sticky note, it read: Infnty Cystaal. Ale dropped it in his pouch and was suddenly surrounded by lumps of coal! he took it out of his pouch and placed it in his flask, suddenly he was swimming in beer! Ale swam in and drank his infinite ale for the rest of his life.
HAPPY ENDING!

Sun, 11/16/2014 - 18:20

Crazee-Pi-Forum

Nothing is scary when you add Tetris music!

Crazee Pi looked as somebody kicked him in the groin, (causing him to drop his wood) slapped him, and told him about some crystal. (How do I talk like a dwarf anyway?) "What's his problem?" he asked. He started recollecting his wood when suddenly a bear attacked him! Using his axe he chopped the bear (Not after suffering a few wounds) and killed it. (Obtained leather, fur, and raw bear meat.) Crazee Pi gathered up his wood and headed back towards the mountain.

At the mountain, Crazee Pi built a basic farm with half of his wood. He then went up to the mountain and started digging into it, making sure to brace the tunnels with wood pillars he made from his other wood along the way.

Sun, 11/16/2014 - 19:25

Lukedc

Meet Thorin WineDrinker

Meet Thorin WineDrinker, a Forest Dwarf with humble beginings. He Lives in the north, and dreams of going to mine in the Great Mountain, as its reffered to in the north. He starts his journey as a Logger, trying to earn money for the 300 link journey(1500 miles)

Sun, 11/16/2014 - 19:25

Lukedc

Meet Thorin WineDrinker

Mon, 11/17/2014 - 20:27

#10

Tehepicwin

Readying for the third event aka first blood

Event #3
Ironhead looked upon the dwarves. All of them were hard workers except one: Ale Flaskswallow. He thought that he was one to easily find the source of infinite power, knowledge, and sex appeal. He should know better. Teaching Ale to make his actions more significant would take too much effort, so Ironhead took the fun way out.

Ironhead was sure that the dwarves knew about Mordor. The goblins, dark wizards, and Freddy Fazbear all rested in the flames, waiting for dwarven flesh. He knew what he was going to do. He created a temporary goblin avatar, told the goblins about some douche named Ale, and sent them to get dinner.

A few hours later, the goblins brought Ale back to Mordor in a bag with blood stained batons. The goblins liked fresh meat, so they were sure to keep Ale alive. They put Ale on a rack and stretched him a bit. The goblins called over the rest of their tribe. One of them ripped open Ale's stomach, allowing Ale to see his own insides. A few moments later when the tribe met up, they jumped onto the rack and ate him alive.

DEATH COUNT: 1

With the first problem out of the way, he realized that his attempt to provide motivation failed miserably. In order to fix this, he created another temporary avatar and had him kick a dwarf in the nards. The avatar explained that Ironhead would place the Infinity Crystal a hundred kilometres beneath the mountain. He was also sure to explain that if the dwarf randomly found the crystal effortlessly, there would be a special rack in Mordor.

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The Dwarf Mountain game