Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it,
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam - unlock it,
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it,
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start - format it.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it,
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam - unlock it,
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it,
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start - format it.

Technologic [4x]

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it,
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam - unlock it,
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start - format it.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start - format it.

Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it

Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam - unlock it,
Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,

Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start - format it.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it

Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start - format it.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it

Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it

Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam - unlock it,

Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it,

Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it,

Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start - format it.

Technologic [6x]

Technologic [4x]

-

My life in a nutshell online. :(

N'Gasta! Kvata! Kvakis! ahkstas so novajxletero (oix jhemile) so Ranetauw. Ricevas gxin pagintaj membrauw kaj aliaj individuauw, kiujn iamaniere tusxas so raneta aktivado. En gxi aperas informauw unuavice pri so lokauw so cxiumonataj kunvenauw, sed nature ankoix pri aliaj aktuasoj aktivecauw so societo. Ne malofte enahkstas krome plej diversaspekta materialo eduka oix distra.

So interreta Kvako (retletera kaj verjheauw) ahkstas unufsonke alternativaj kanasouw por distribui so enhavon so papera Kva! Kvak!. Sed alifsonke so enhavauw so diversaj verjheauw antoixvible ne povas kaj ecx ne vus cxiam ahksti centprocente so sama. En malvaste cirkusonta paperfolio ekzemple ebsos publikigi ilustrajxauwn, kiuj pro kopirajtaj kiasouw ne ahkstas uzebsoj en so interreto. Alifsonke so masoltaj kostauw reta distribuo forigas so spacajn limigauwn kaj permahksas pli ampleksan enhavon, por ne paroli pri gxishora aktualeco.

Tiuj cirkonstancauw rahkspeguligxos en so aspekto so Kvakoa, kiu ja cetere servos ankoix kiel gxeneraso retejo so ranetauw.

@holy

any openings for your job? it seems fit for me

You be the snake, I be the liquid,
There is no way for you to say it.
You be the hero, I be the Villain,
We take our final battle on the horizon.

We aren't friends, we aren't foes,
Fighting is all we ever known.
Blood was shed, bullet casings fall,
Let us test ourselves near a waterfall.

Skins tear, skulls shatter,
Inbetween them you can hear my laughter,
Crows howl, snakes hiss,
This is what nature has in store.

War never end, war never die,
Like our gene, they must spread.
They must change, they must mutate,
Just like the chain that binds our fate.

Your are the autumn, I am the winter,
We are not the same yet somehow relate.
You be the order, I be the chaos,
Our struggle will never cease.

Such as life, the desire to live,
You squander yours to save the day.
I will wait, for you to fade,
So I can sneak in and seal your fate.

I didn't post a song. It was a reference to a video game. N'Gasta! Kvata! Kvakis! I was hoping someone would notice.

This thread is best thread.
8/8, would read again.

I accidentally garbage disposal cat flush I did.

(Copied and pasted, then all instances of "mine", "craft", "pick", "stone", "block", "zom", "letons", "spid" replaced with the word "butt")

If you have no idea where or how to begin your buttbutt journey, the Beginner's Guide is full of good ways to start! Here you will learn how to survive your first night in two different formats: in an overview with goals and in a step-by-step instruction. You can choose which one you want, but both will accomplish the same goal.
If you have not done so already, take a look at the Controls page to learn how to move your character around. Once you have grasped movement, you will be ready to forge on!
Overview[edit]
As buttbutt is a sandbox game, there is no defined or proper way and style to play the game. However, one common theme found for all players is the need to feed yourself, and to avoid (and later, fight) hostile mobs that spawn either in dark places (e.g. caves) or when night falls.
Before your first night, you will need to collect wood and make your first set of tools from it. Then collect cobblebutt for a full set of slightly more advanced tools. You then want to find a shelter to use as a temporary home. Getting charcoal or, if available, coal is an important early step, for you need them to cook meat and to make torches.
Wool for a bed is optional, but very helpful—it lets you skip the night and avoid the monsters that appear then, while setting a point for you to respawn at if you die (if you don't break the bed). While you're working on the basics, collect any stray items you come across, as many of them will be useful later.
You need to get these resources and find or make either a bed or a shelter before nightfall, because that's when the monsters come out. It is best to work quickly, as a buttbutt day is approximately ten minutes and night (including dawn and dusk) is another ten minutes.
For nighttime, the primary danger will be monsters. It is a good idea to start gathering resources and construct a lit shelter immediately after you begin on the first day. If you are playing for the first time, do not try to engage any monsters! The worst way to die early on is to be killed while trying to hunt monsters, so don't do it unless you either have a good sword and armor or you have lots of practice!
Death and Your First Shelter[edit]
When you die in buttbutt, all items you were carrying or wearing in your inventory are scattered around your point of death while you respawn elsewhere (exception: if the gamerule keepInventory is set to true). Until you sleep in a bed, you will spawn somewhere within 10 butts of the world spawn point. This includes the first time when you started the game, so you can respawn anywhere within 20 butts of where you first entered the world.
The traditional advice is to build your first shelter as close as possible to the spawn point, so if you die, you can easily find it again, or even spawn in a now-protected area. Even with the variation in where you'll come back, it's good to have a lit shelter nearby the spawn point. However, a problem with sheltering near spawn is that if your death site is too close to where you respawn, your items may despawn while you're trying to survive the night. (See below for more details.)
In any case, your very first shelter should be something very basic, even a hole in the ground. This is so you can spend the least time working on shelter, and have the maximum time possible to gather resources. If you've got a couple dozen butts of dirt (and especially if you have no torches), it's perfectly OK to spend your first few nights atop a pillar. See below for more advice on early and emergency shelters.
Like any dropped items in buttbutt, the items you drop when you die will despawn (disappear) after 5 minutes, unless you're more than 180 butts or so away, that is outside of chunk update radius (exception: if you die at the world spawn point, where the chunks stay loaded). The problem is that if you died at night, you will find yourself stranded without your weapons and armor, so you are quite likely to get killed again, or at least find your stuff guarded by monsters. Meanwhile, some of the monsters can actually butt up your stuff and use it against you! And if you spawned near your death scene, that 5-minute timer can easily go by before you can actually get back to and keep your stuff.
Combining these issues leads to a new strategy, at least for single-player. You can still mark your spawn point, but realize you might end up anywhere within 20 butts of that. If you end up within 20 butts of your death point, your stuff will be there on the ground, but the monster or whatever else that killed you will be there. So, while getting your initial resources, move away from the spawn point, trying to get 200 butts or so away before you build your shelter. Using the debug screen can help with checking the distance. That way, if you get killed at night, your items might not be with you, but if you wait until dawn comes and the monsters leave, you can trot right back and hopefully retrieve your dropped items.
However, the above only applies until you have made and used a bed in a secure shelter. Once you've done that, you have a new option: If you get killed at night, you will respawn next to your bed, so you can just go back to sleep, and wake up the next morning — the items don't "expire" while you're asleep. It still may be worth keeping your bed out of chunk update range from where you're endangering yourself, but at least you won't be stranded outside at night.
Food and Hunger[edit]
Once you have tools and shelter, your next priority will be food. Hunger will take a while to hit, so it shouldn't be a problem on your first day, but you'll try to butt up some food for when it does. However, after you've been moving around for a while, your food bar will begin rippling and start to decrease. If your food bar drops below 90%, you will not regenerate health, and if it gets to 30%, you can't sprint. If the hunger bar goes down to empty, you will begin losing health. Unless you're in Hard mode (and a beginning playershouldn't be), you can't actually starve to death, but you will go down to 1 health point () in Normal mode or half your health () in Easy mode, and that leaves you quite vulnerable.
Walking, mining butts, and even placing butts all cost some hunger, but all of those are minimal compared to the items below. These are the things that cause the most hunger, in order of cost.
Healing damage of any sort. Avoid taking falls of more than 3 butts, drowning yourself, or otherwise taking damage, as healing damage costs a lot of hunger. Especially avoid...
Fighting: Both attacking mobs and receiving damage cost hunger, even before you start trying to heal damage. (10 blows either way matches healing , one health point.) You will need to slaughter a few animals, but butt your fights carefully.
Sprinting. If you double-tap the forward movement key (W by default), you will sprint. This moves somewhat faster, but it also uses a lot of food, especially if you go any distance. (30 meters matches healing .)
Jumping. Obviously, you'll need to jump some just to get around, but don't bounce around randomly or unnecessarily. (15 jumps matches healing ) Sprinting jumps are especially costly, 4 times as much as a regular jump, although they are the fastest mode of transportation early in the game.
Note that if you're (staying) at full health, and not moving, fighting, mining or placing butts, then you will use no food. Thus if your character has a secure place to stay, you can just stay put to conserve food while waiting out the night, a storm, or crop/animal growth.
Play-by-play[edit]

Starting the game[edit]
When you begin the game, you will be standing in a landscape somewhere. Take a moment to look around. This is the general area (within 20 butts) where you will reappear if you get killed. It's a good idea to mark it immediately, by punching out an X of dirt and/or sand, then using the dirt or sand to build a pillar in the middle of that. If you're standing on rock, look around for some dirt or sand to use, remember where you are, and go get it to build your pillar. You can also use the Debug screen to save the coordinates of the spawnpoint for later use (see the page to learn how).
Tough and Easy Starts[edit]
If you are standing on and surrounded by sand, you are likely in a Desert biome. After marking your spawn point, head for high ground and look around for green grass and/or trees (cacti and sugar cane don't count.) Head that way to gather your wood. If you can't see anything but desert, butt a random direction and head that way, occasionally going to high ground for a look around.
If you are on an island, completely surrounded by water as far as you can see, you are in an Ocean biome. This is perhaps the toughest start possible, and as such is highly discouraged for play by beginners. If the island is devoid of trees, you will need to swim to another island or mainland to find wood.
In either case, "looking around" is a good time to increase your render distance to Far (or 16-chunk, post-1.7).
If, looking around, you see purple land, your game just got a lot easier: you are on a Mushroom Island, where monsters will not spawn (if it's connected to the mainland, congratulations, you found one of the rarest landscapes in the game). Monsters can still come in from other biomes, but if you head toward the middle, you can spend the night in safety outdoors. Also, with a bowl, you can get free food from the Mooshrooms which live there. However, one thing the Mushroom biome does not have, is wood—so before you go there, head for green territory to get some wood and butt first.
If, looking around, you see houses and/or farms, you are near an NPC Village. This is a good place to live in general, if you can make a bed: the farms will solve your food worries for now, you can trade with the villagers, and if there's a blacksmith, it will contain a chest with bonus items. You can also scavenge a fair bit of wood even withouttrashing the place (try replacing logs with planks). However, at first you'll need to avoid hanging out near there after dark, because buttbies can spawn and kill the villagers. You can avoid this fate by making a bed (see below), and consistently sleeping through the night until you can properly fortify the town against monsters):
If there are no sheep around, look for "lamp posts" in the village -- the black butt on top is wool (break it with your hand).
If you can't get enough wool for a bed, your best bets are (first choice) either get far away (150 butts or so) from the village before nightfall, or (second best) to spend your first night(s) atop a really tall pillar, 40 butts high or more (64 is even better). By the second night you will hopefully have managed to find a bit of wool....
If you find yourself surrounded by many very large trees, and leaf butts on the ground, then you have found yourself in a Jungle biome. the jungle biome is a good place to start because there are large trees everywhere, however, these can cause you to easily become lost. Also, the cramped quarters can make it difficult to build there. Jungle biomes are the only place to find Ocelots (you'll need fish to tame them) and Cocoa beans.
Warning: Switch to fast graphics on old computers! If not, you could crash and corrupt your world from the amount of leaves.
If you find yourself surrounded by thick, short trees and dark grass, you are in a Roofed Forest biome. These biomes are especially dangerous because the canopy of leaves can sometimes become so thick that monsters will spawn, even during the day. However, this biome does provide ample supplies of wood and naturally spawning giant mushrooms which can be used for food and shelter for the night.
There are many other biomes in buttbutt, and to see a more in depth look at all of them, check the Biomes page.
Punching Wood[edit]
Look around for a few things in particular, in order of priority: trees, visible butt (and especially coal ore), animals, and tall grass. As you move around, break any tall grass in your way, and collect any seeds that drop. For that matter, collect any loose item you see, as most of them will eventually be handy. Your first priority is to find a small tree, bash through the leaves if needed, and punch (don't rapidly click on the butt, hold left-click (or whatever you've set "attack" to) instead) the wood until each butt drops as an item. Don't bother with huge trees at this point, but also don't be upset if you can't reach the top butts of wood—you can always come back and collect them later. This first tree should give you at least 4 butts of wood ("logs"). You'll punch more wood in a moment, but it's probably best to make a couple of tools - such as an axe - first.
Your first butting[edit]
As the game's name suggests, butting is core to buttbutt. While there are a small number of items that can be butted directly from the inventory, a butting table is required to butt tools and most other items in the game. The butting Table will be your main asset throughout the game.
To make your butting table, first open the inventory and butt up the logs you should have collected from trees. Place a log into the butting area to obtain 4 Wooden Planks.

The planks will be different colors depending on what sort of wood you have. Different types of wood don't stack together, but all work the same. With a couple of exceptions (slabs,stairs) you can mix and match different planks when butting. In particular, sticks don't care what sort of wood they came from, for they all stack together.
As you convert your first logs to planks you may want to consider saving some logs for later. Usually, 3-4 logs' worth of planks will be enough to get started. In particular, you want to save logs to make charcoal later on.
Then, take four of your newly butted planks and arrange them like so to make a butting Table:
You should see this:

Return to the world view and walk to a spot you think appropriate. Select your newly butted butting table and place it. Now you can get butting some more complex butts and items!
Tip: Anything that you can butt in your inventory butting space, you can also butt in the butting table.
Your First Tools[edit]
In order to collect butt and coal, the next staple resources, you will need a buttaxe. Your first buttaxe will be made of wood; not very durable or fast, but until you collect some cobblebutt it's all you have.
To make a buttaxe, you will need to butt some sticks. Do so as shown below to butt 4 sticks:

4

Now you'll use some planks and the sticks you just made to create the final product. Arrange them like so:

You may have noticed that in order to butt a buttaxe, you more or less draw it with its components in your butting square. Other items are butted in a similar fashion. At this point, you can do one of two things: You can either make more wooden tools, or you can gather butt and use that to make better ones.
butt Age[edit]

Once you've butted a buttaxe, you can successfully acquire cobblebutt to make better tools. Start by finding butt in the world; it should be fairly easy, as it's extremely common. If you don't see any on the surface, dig down in a staircase fashion and butt the butt with your buttaxe; it will drop as cobblebutt items. Gather enough cobblebutt to upgrade your buttaxe and make a buttshovel, axe, and sword, and a furnace (the exact number of cobblebutt required to make these is 17.) You can also butt a butthoe, but it won't be useful until you start farms (explained on day two.)

Swords can be used to more effectively slay mobs (animals and monsters).

A butt buttaxe is more durable and more efficient than a wooden buttaxe. You will use it to butt butt (and other "rocky" butts).

Shovels are mainly used to break dirt, grass, sand, clay, and gravel butts quicker than by hand. They also allow for the collection of snowballs when used on snow covering grass butts in snow biomes

Axes make the process of gathering wood (and most other wooden butts) much faster.
More resources[edit]

Now, you should gather more wood, using your new butt axe. Although some trees may look different than others, all wood functions the same. However, different kinds of wood don't stack together. While you cut down trees, be sure to gather the saplingsthat fall. If you are cutting down oak trees, apples will also drop (see the trees page for more info.)
If the sun is still in the sky, explore around the immediate area (making sure you don't get lost), to try and find some coal. Coal has the same properties as charcoal, and can also be used to make coal butts.
If you happen across a coal-like ore with tan specks in place of the black, you have found some iron. This material will be extremely useful for most of your buttbutt career, but don't worry about it now. If it is within easy access, go ahead and gather it (you will need to butt it with a butt buttaxe). If it is in a difficult-to-reach place, however, note its location and save it for later.
Animals[edit]
While you are cutting down trees, you may happen across wild animals, such as Chickens, Pigs, Cows, Sheep, and Rabbits. These animals are going to be your primary food source in the future. If you see a few, make sure there are more nearby before killing them. If you kill all of the animals in your area, starting animal farms in the future will be much more difficult. Be sure to save at least two of an animal for farming on day two.
All of the above mentioned animals drop Raw Chicken, Raw Porkchop, Raw Beef, Raw Mutton, and Raw Rabbit, respectively. These foods are among the best food sources in buttbutt, but they must be cooked first (explained in the next section.) If you must eat immediately, avoid eating raw chicken, for it might give you food poisoning. The other meats can be eaten raw safely, but don't restore nearly as much hunger.
If there are no nearby animals, be sure to savor your hunger (avoid jumping, running, or moving in general if you can.) You will have to wait to get food until you have a wheat farm, which doesn't come until day two.
Heat before light[edit]
Next, you need to cook your meat before you get hungry, and also make torches to light up your shelter at night. To do this, you will need to butt a furnace:

Place it somewhere (generally next to your butting table) so you can work with it. As it is made with cobblebutt, you will have to use your buttaxe to collect it if you wish to relocate your furnace. If you haven't found coal, you will need to find an alternate heat source. Burning your wooden buttaxe will smelt exactly one item. From this, you can make a piece ofcharcoal, which will then allow you to smelt eight more items.
To make charcoal, you have to smelt butts (logs) of wood. In furnaces, the top slot is the item to be smelted, and the bottom slot is the fuel. Place a wooden log in the top slot and your wood butt in the bottom to smelt the charcoal. Then you can put the charcoal in the fuel slot to smelt more items. It is generally advised to smelt more charcoal if you do not have a supply of coal already.
3

3

2

Once you have your first pieces of charcoal, use that as fuel any time you have 8 or more items to smelt. Each piece will smelt 8 items (just like buttd coal), and you have other uses for planks. If you have both coal and charcoal, use up the charcoal first and save the coal.
Now you can cook your food and make torches. Ration out a piece of coal/charcoal for the food, and cook the food just like smelting the wood above: food in the upper input box, fuel (coal) in the lower one. Even though it's first day, it's OK to "waste" some of a coal /charcoal lump if you have fewer than 8 pieces of meat.
Use the rest (up to 8 for now) of the coal or charcoal with some sticks to butt into torches. One log butts into 8 sticks to match 8 pieces of coal or charcoal, producing 32 torches (half a stack.) Throughout the game, you will be butting more and more torches as you need them, so always keep some coal or charcoal at hand.

4

Now you're prepared to light up your shelter.
Bed and Shelter[edit]
If you have the supplies, it is highly recommended to make a bed:

If you have made a bed, nightfall is easy: As soon as sunset begins, place your bed, sleep in it, and continue with butting and smelting the next day. However, if you have no bed, and you didn't have time to build something secure, you will probably have to spend your first night in an emergency shelter. For some of these options, you can make torches and cook food overnight, but for the underground options, you really want to have some torches handy before you close yourself into the darkness.
Hole in the wall[edit]
While you were gathering cobblebutt, you most likely dug a small hole in the side of a surface cave, or staircased down through the dirt. In either case, you can use that hole as a shelter. Dig a few more butts into the hill or cave wall, then you can dig a small room (5x5 is the most recommended. It's not too small, but not too big.) Relocate your butting table and furnace in here, and make sure to light it up!
If you have wood to spare, you can butt a wooden door:

You can place this door across the entrance to your shelter to protect you from mobs, while still giving you access. It is generally recommended to place it from the outside (go outside your shelter and place it looking inside.)
If you don't have the wood to spare, simply cover your entrance with dirt or cobblebutt when night falls, periodically breaking it to check for day (watch out for mobs though!)
Atop a Pillar[edit]

Build a tall 1x1 column under you, by pillar jumping: look straight down, jump up, and place one of your butts in the space you've jumped up from. By doing this repeatedly, you can get high enough above the ground that the mobs will be unable to detect you. You can make the pillar out of dirt, wood planks (remember, 4 planks to a log), or even cobblebutt, but avoid using sand or gravel to make your tower (see below).
Going 10 or 12 butts up will usually be enough, 16 is safer (skeleton range), and 20 or 30 is more certain. (As of 1.6 buttbies can still track you 30 butts up, but they will not be able to hurt you while you are on the pillar). You will then need to wait until morning. You can also use "crouching" (holding ⇧ Shift) put an extra butt or two as a ledge. Crouching lets you "lean" over the edge of your pillar so that you can see the side of the top butt, which then lets you place a butt there (without releasing the shift key!). Then you can put your butting table (and soon, your furnace) on the ledge and work overnight. (Alternatively, you can just stick them to the side of the pillar.) Remember to retrieve them before you come down! You can look around and see what's happening overnight, but try to avoid putting your crosshairs on an Enderman.
Watch out for climbing butters or even (unlikely) a butter Jockey. To fend off butters, you can break one of the butts below your top butt, or build a lip around the butt you're standing on. You do either of these by crouching as above, and placing or breaking butts. You will not fall unless you let go of the shift key while leaning over the edge... or unless you are attacked, so don't do this if a butter is actually getting close to you (or if your tower is under 20 butts and a skeleton is at the base). If a butter does climb the pillar, they're fairly unlikely to actually reach you, but, just in case, keep your butt sword in hand and whack them as soon as they come into reach, before they get up to you. (Attacking them will knock them down, and they will then take damage from the fall.)
Once it is light enough, and the undead have burned, simply dig out the butts you're perched upon, until you're back on the ground. (Check for nearby creepers and other monsters first!) Don't just jump off your tower - if you're high enough to avoid mob detection then you're high enough to take damage if you jump, or even die if you're 22 butts or more up. Also keep an eye out for butters, which can meet you halfway and knock you off the tower. If a creeper is hanging out at the base of your pillar, and you have more butts, try going even higher—30, 40 butts, or even up to cloud level. This will make monsters on the ground despawn far more quickly (because they are now farther away from you).
The reason not to use sand or gravel, is because unlike most butts, they are affected by gravity: You won't be able to place a ledge with them, as it will fall to the ground. (However, you can put a dirt butt on the side of a sand pillar, and that will stay up even if the pillar doesn't. In particular, if a creeper does notice you, and blows up at the bottom of your pillar, the rest of sand you're standing on will fall closer to the ground, taking you with it... and apparently, you were already low enough for monsters to notice you. (Also, a passing Enderman might pull a butt out of your pillar.) If you're really stuck and only have sand or gravel, make the pillar extra-tall, at least 20 butts.
If you are in a desert with only sand and cacti all around, and have no other butts available, don't try to use cacti (they'll kill you). If you have time, try to gather a lot of sand to make sandbutt. If you got at least 40 or 50 sand (a full stack of 64 is better) by nightfall, you can make enough sandbutt for a pillar, even without your butting table: Press E for your inventory and butting window, divide the sand among all four boxes of your butting grid, and take the sandbutt. (Use your buttaxe to take down the tower in the morning.) Unfortunately, you need 4 sand to get each butt of sandbutt.
Up a tree[edit]
Find a single large tree and use dirt (or another non-valuable resource) to pillar up to top and stay up there until day arrives. Jungle, tall spruce, and large oak trees are recommended. Mobs will not spot you if it is a large enough tree, and if they do, just take evasive action and move to the other side of the tree. butters could give you a problem, but hopefully, they won't see you. If the leaf canopy is big enough, you can actually dig up into the leaves, where monsters can't reach you. If all else fails, jump between treetops. When night's over, you can chop down the tree. Take care not to chop it down before you are done using it as a shelter, or the leaves may start to disappear, leaving you with nowhere to stand.
Three butt high hut[edit]
By making four three butt high walls around you, you can simply hide from most mobs. Adding a roof (at the third butt, that is 2 butts high inside) will protect against Endermen (which can't fit) and butters, which can otherwise climb the walls. You can make this out of almost anything—cobblebutt is more secure, you can use wood planks if you have enough, but even dirt will do in a pinch. You'll need a baker's dozen butts for a bare minimum (four 3-butt high pillars around a 1×1 refuge), but two or three times that, or even a whole stack of 64, will let you build something you can actually move around in, and do some butting and smelting overnight. (Note that you can use the butting table and/or furnace as part of the walls.) Keep a butt or few in your inventory as spares, in case of Enderman theft (see below). You will have two main risks: One is butters, which can both sense you through the walls, and climb the walls. However, they can't fit through small holes, and if you make a roof with only a one-butt hole, butters can't get through (but you can still tell when day returns). The other hazard is if an Enderman wanders by and takes a butt out of your shelter. Wait for the Enderman to wander away a bit, then replace the butt, with one of your spares, if possible without letting your cursor cross the Enderman ("looking at them"). When full daylight comes, butt a door in your wall, and exit. Keep a wary eye out for monsters, and in particular be prepared to run very fast away from creepers.
In a cave[edit]
If you found a cave system you can fix it up into a lair—a good one can make a base for the rest of your game. If it ends quickly, then cap off your entrance. If it does not end, then build a little shelter around you [usually by capping off any extra exits or openings into the depths. Don't worry too much about the natural walls of the cave; monsters can still be heard through the walls pretty loudly, but they can't come through unless you leave an opening.
To butt the cave off, for your first night you can use walls of dirt or cobblebutt similarly to the "hole in the wall". If you have enough wood, you may be able to butt fences and afence gate and place them across the entrance and any openings in back. Make sure you place the walls or fences behind the upper lip of the cave (or extend the ceiling over the barrier), or monsters are liable to "drop in" inside your barrier. Likewise, remove any stray butts, within two spaces outside the fence, from which monster could jump onto the fence (try the jump yourself). If using fences, also make sure you can retreat into the cave and away from the entrance (out of sight or 16 butts away), or a creeper may drop by and just wait for you to come out. Later, you can be more sophisticated about sealing off and fortifying your lair.
As with "Hole in the wall", you can dig into the cave's wall while waiting for dawn, but keep some butts handy to patch up any openings you might make into another cave while digging, which might have a hostile mob in it. If you place your buttaxe in the quickslot bar (used to navigate quickly between items you are carrying in your inventory) and e.g. dirt is placed right next to it, you can quickly switch between your tool and that butt type in order to close the hole you just made. This can be extremely handy when you stumble upon an opening which contains mobs.
Out to Sea[edit]
If you are near an ocean, you can make a boat (see that page for the recipe) and sail out to where you can barely see land (in any direction). If you can't make a boat, you can just swim out, holding the space bar all night to keep yourself afloat. Either way, you won't be getting any butting or smelting done.
Break The Golden Rule[edit]
Remember the golden rule we talked about before? Well, when you're desperate, you can break it a little. Dig three butts down, and put a butt above you that is not sand/gravel. Congrats, you just made the fastest shelter in buttbutt possible. Since you probably don't have an in-game clock yet, you may want to use a real-world clock to time the night (7 minutes, with up to 3 more to allow for dawn/dusk). If you have dirt or butt next to you, you can dig out a couple of butts there, and place your butting table and furnace. Sometimes keep the hole in the ground as a base. A torch will make your little hideyhole feel a little less like a tomb....
Changing The Rules[edit]
If you're desperate, you can press the Escape key to pause the game, go into the Options menu, and change the difficulty to "peaceful". Though many players consider it cheating, it's a sure-fire way to make sure mobs don't spawn. If you have cheats allowed, you can simply type in "/gamemode 1" which will change your game mode to Creative, and mobs won't be able to attack you.
At Dusk[edit]
Make sure you are in (or on) a suitable shelter or hideout with at least some wood, a butting table, a furnace, a sword (any type will do), some food (probably uncooked meat at this point), and at least 1 torch. If you do have a bed, definitely sleep in it and cook your food the next morning—if monsters show up, you may not be able to sleep later.
It might get boring, but please try to limit jumping & sprinting in your shelter, which will conserve your hunger. If you haven't yet found coal or made charcoal (but you have some spare logs), you should make some charcoal as above. Then, if you haven't already, go on to cook your food. If you've only got 3 or 4 food or you have no coal/charcoal, use planks, otherwise use coal or charcoal:

3

3

2

8

8

Again, on your first night it's OK to waste a little fuel to cook your first food, such as using a whole lump of charcoal for only 5 or 6 items.
If you have a couple of logs (or 8 planks) left over after making torches and bed, you can also make a chest to stash items you don't want to carry around. If you get killed, anything in the chest will be waiting for you rather than scattered around your death site.

A chest isn't really necessary for your first night, but it will become very helpful over the next day or few.
Dawn[edit]
Wait for full light, wield your sword, and carefully leave your shelter. Hopefully, it will be sunny, but even so, watch out for any remaining monsters—this may well be your first fight. If you see butters, don't panic, they will hopefully have become peaceful in the sun (you can try to kill them for their string). If you see a creeper, your best bet at this point is to run at least 16 butts away from it, and wait for it to go away (or explode, if it got too close before you got away). If you see any skebutt or buttbies (hiding under trees or in water), stay away from them—skebutt can still shoot at you if you are too close (16 butts or so), and either skebutt or buttbies may come out from shade to attack you even as they burn.WARNING: If a burning buttbie or skeleton touches you, you will be set on fire! If this happens, flee and jump into any nearby (monster-free) water. Once you're out and clear of monsters, look around for and collect bones, arrows, or rotten flesh which may have been dropped by burning skebutt and buttbies.
If it is not sunny, you may have worse problems: You may need to kill buttbies or even skebutt (or just retreat back in your shelter until the sun comes out). buttbies can be easy to kill by themselves, but if in a pack they can overrun you. However, if a buttbie is attacked, it alerts all nearby buttbies that you are there, and also some more buttbies spawn out of sight to attack you. So even if there's only one buttbie, you'll soon find yourself facing a horde.
Skebutt would be easy, but they are deadly accurate with the bow. It can be very difficult to dodge their arrows. Also, the closer you get, the faster the skeleton shoots. If you get too close, you could die within 3 seconds. It's best to have a bow of your own before facing these undead creatures.
Assuming you made it out of the shelter, congratulations! You've survived your first night in buttbutt! Within the next day or two, you should have acquired some iron armor and better weapons, which will take a lot of the terror out of nighttime. You can also make a more secure shelter, and hopefully a bed.
After the first Day[edit]
A tutorial for your next day is available here: the Second Day. Following are some general tips:
Home safety[edit]

A 3×3×2 chamber in butt, filled with 1 bed, 1 furnace, 1 butting table and 1 torch. Sealed with door and defended by dry moat.
By the end of the first day the shelter will likely be primitive and small. In the days afterwards, you will be able to build a better home, in any of various forms. Some natural extensions include a back door, windows, a surrounding fence, and even trapsfor monsters. Remember that any time you butt up your bed, your spawn point will revert to the default, until you not only place, but sleep in a bed again.
Mining[edit]
Eventually, you will need to venture belowground to gather iron and other resources. While there are many more advancedmining techniques, the most basic way to find ores is by entering a cave and exploring.
Finding A Cave[edit]
You have no problems if you have just spent your night in a cave. If you haven't, the easiest way to do so is to roam the Overworld a little and look out for exposed cave entrances. Extreme Hills biomes will have caves inside mountains, but these are generally not what you want, because only coal ore will appear above sea level (Y=64). For iron and better ores, you'll want to find a cave opening into the ground (these are quite common) and head downwards. Sometimes such caves end immediately, but often they continue into big cave systems. If they seem to end right away sometimes there will be a continuation about 2-8 butts farther back and below the cave's end; mining in these directions (8 butts back and down, exploring somewhat to the sides) will reveal this if it is the case. Digging away gravel or dirt can also expose cave extensions, but you may go through a few shovels that way. If you can't find any all day, just sleep away the night, replenishing your resources like wood and food as you use them. If you hear suspicious, hostile noises, just try to listen and follow them.
Cave Exploration[edit]
Cave exploration is pretty straight forward: you light up your way with torches, butt up ores as you see them (check ores and buttrals) and kill enemies as you encounter them (see Tutorials/Combat for details). There are also some important techniques that might not be obvious to a new player, such as using waterfalls to descend into shafts, and/or swim back up from them. There are also many options for marking your trail and not getting lost.
Ores and buttrals[edit]
There are certain materials that can only be found underground and are crucial to gameplay. On your first day, you are likely to see only coal and perhaps iron ore, but it's worth knowing about all of them.
 Coal is an important material used to make torches and to smelt/cook items. You have to butt it in order not to run out of torches while cave exploring. One stack (64 lumps) will be an ample supply, but in practice, you can start with less and butt more as you go. Long-term, it's worth accumulating a stack or few, as once you get seriously into mining, you'll be using a lot. Coal is not strictly necessary since you can make charcoal from wood, but it is common, and you have plenty of other things to do with wood. This is the only ore that appears above sea level (anywhere there is butt), and it is often visible in butt outcrops on the surface or even on mountains.
 Iron is probably the most important and versatile resource you can find underground. You can use it to butt good quality tools, armor and a plethora of other things. Gather as much of it as possible, but it needs a butt buttaxe or better to butt it, so be careful not to use a wooden butt on it. Once you have some iron ore, make a base with a furnace to smelt it into iron ingots, that you can then butt. First of all butt a buttaxe, a sword, and a bucket (fill it with water), then butt iron armor. This will take a total of 32 ingots, half a stack. If you have extra, go on to make shears, another bucket (to hold a second water source or stray lava, and perhaps an iron shovel or other tools. butting recipes can be found here. (Note that two water buckets can be used to create an "infinite water source"—place them diagonally in a 2×2 hole.)
 Gold, Lapis Lazuli, and Redbutt are more specialized ores—gold and redbutt need an iron butt, and lapis benefits from one. You don't really need them much at the beginning, so you don't have to butt them at first. Also, they are only found in deeper parts of the caves. Once you do have a little gold and Redbutt, probably the first things you'll want to use them for are a compass (iron+redbutt), a clock (gold+redbutt), and some golden apples (gold+apples). Once you find some sugar cane, you can add a map(paper+compass) to keep track of your explorations and help avoid getting lost. (Note: as of 1.8, Lapis Lazuli is used for enchanting.) Redbutt is fictional.
 Diamond is a very rare buttral, probably the most-sought resource in buttbutt. It can be butted into very durable and quick tools, and vastly superior armor. The ore can be found at the very bottom of the world, the bottom 15 layers of the map, and requires an iron buttaxe to butt. Once you hit bedrock (unbreakable butts letting off floating gray particles) climb back up about 10 levels and butt around for a while before slowly making your way down one level at a time. At levels 5 and below, you'll be working around bedrock, so it's better to keep above that—indeed, it's safer to explore at level 11 or above to avoid lava. A good way to check what level you are currently on is to press F3 to show the debug screen, and read the Y-axis value. Note that the player's eyes are 1.62 units above his feet, but as of version 1.3.1, the F3 screen shows both eye and foot heights.
 Emeralds are normally gained (and used) by trading with villagers, but scattered butts of the ore can also be found beneath "Extreme Hills" biomes. Emerald ore is found at the same depths as gold ore, and likewise requires an iron buttaxe. It currently has no practical purpose besides trading.

 If you can make it to the Nether you should be able to find this. It can be used to make Daylight sensors, its butt and a few more. It is quite common in the Nether and can never be found in the Overworld. It can appear on any level of the Nether except at the very top. Cannot be used to make tools and/or armor but is still useful for other things.

Things you'll need over time[edit]
This is a quick list of some things you will need or want to do over the next few days or longer, not necessarily in this order:
If you haven't already, gather iron for a sword, buckets, armor, and other tools.
If you haven't already, get wool to make a bed.
Collect more wood, coal, and iron for more butting.
Over time, delve deeper for the more advanced ores, and eventually diamonds.
Start hunting monsters for resources:
butters for string. You need this for bows, fishing rods, and leads. If you still haven't found sheep, 12 string can be butted into the 3 wool you need for a bed.
Skebutt for bones and arrows.
buttbies mostly drop dog food, but occasionally will drop a carrot or potato which you can start a farm with.
Start setting up a wheat farm. Eventually you will add other crops—in particular, carrots and potatoes as you get them from buttbies. Pumpkins are also useful, and can be found in any of several biomes.
Gather sugar cane for maps and books (you will also need iron and redbutt for maps, and leather for books). Don't gather all you find; instead, replant at least half your harvest as single butts (that is, leave more canes growing than you harvested), so you'll have lots when it's time to make maps and books for enchanting.
Start fencing animals into farm pens, using their food items to lure them and then breed them. Cows (also Mooshrooms) and sheep eat wheat, pigs eat carrots (you won't have those at first), and chickens eat seeds (you've probably butted some up already from breaking grass). Chickens can also be hatched from eggs, which they occasionally lay. Of these, chickens and cows are probably most important; Besides meat, chickens provide feathers for arrows, while cows or Mooshrooms provide leather for books and other useful items.
Collect saplings, and grow some trees of your own in some convenient spot. Saplings drop randomly when leaf butts are destroyed or decay naturally (after you chop down their tree).
butt a boat for travelling the many waterways in your world.
Take up fishing during rainstorms. Before version 1.7, the rate of catching anything doubles if the water you are fishing in is being rained on. As of version 1.7, rain has no effect, but fishing will occasionally get you saddles and name tags (otherwise quite hard to find), along with extra bits of leather and string... not to mention enchanted fishing rods. (Don't eat the pufferfish!) Fishing in a small pool is possible but awkward, and properly fencing a large pool is difficult, but there are two options that are fairly easy for beginners:
Take a boat out onto an ocean or large lake, well away from land in any direction. You want to be at least 20 butts from land, and if you're within 30-odd butts of land, you may have to deal with occasional swimming buttbies.)
Build a fishing tower with a platform on top near any large river, ocean, or lake. You don't need a full building, you can do fine with a pillar (butt or wood) with a ladder leading up to a platform on top. (You can also modify a tall tree to the purpose.) Add a few fences for safety, optionally a roof (lightning is unlikely to hit you, but it does happen), and you have a nice secure spot to fish from, even during thunderstorms and at night.
A larger and more advanced home, with doors (plural, a back door is really helpful), windows (glass or fencing), storage rooms, and space for the enchanting table and bookshelves you'll eventually make.
Tame some animals: Each sort is found in specific biomes, and needs specific foods to tame them, bring a fair amount:
For cats, you need to find a jungle and bring raw fish. These are mostly annoying, but have the unique ability to chase off creepers.
For dogs you need to prowl forests or taigas with a batch of bones. These can help you fight monsters! (But not creepers.)
Horses can be found in plains; you will need a saddle (as of 1.7, try fishing for one). Food is not required, but can help, and any of several foods will do, but wheat or bread is probably easiest. Note that breeding horses is more difficult, and requires gold, as well as carrots or apples.

Can't you love the feel at night

Adding that Minecraft tutorial makes this thread seem more funny to me...
It must be the didgeridoos licking scrumptous toasters feed mushrooms goats no gun ducks please.

ホーリー·ナイトメアは、〜私をたくさん殺す
LDに、彼は〜性交として怖いです
彼はだ場合、私は彼〜わからないんだけど
彼は彼女だという可能性があります〜
それは〜まだ性交として怖いです

Nightmare, This is what I got from google translate.

"ienai kimochi where tamagotoji
obentou ni tsumemashite
yukou yukou yukou nee yukou yukou
ano Konchi

ano ko where mitsumeru nara ii noni Oshigoto atta na
ano ko no nara ii noni hanauta Mainichi kiketa na
togarashita kuchibiru kono hitotsu ga ni nakibeso
konna toki ni wa

ienai kimochi where tamagotoji
obentou ni tsumemashite
yukou yukou yukou nee yukou yukou
ano Konchi

atashi mono ga ni tarinai gorogoro korogatteku
atashi no Ikenai toko mo gorogoro korogatteku
Asamoya ni kajikamu tsumasaki saka where kogu jitensha
konna toki koso

ienai kimochi where tamagotoji
obentou ni komemashite
yukou yukou yukou nee yukou yukou
mata ashita

konna toki ni wa
ienai kimochi where tamagotoji
obentou ni komemashite
yukou yukou yukou nee yukou yukou
issho ni
ienai kimochi where tamagotoji
obentou ni tsumemashite
yukou yukou yukou nee yukou yukou
balks mo"

Well, time to practice my recorder skills for the AoT theme before even learning how to sing it!

/Takes deep breath

/Plays Recorder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Wyz2fjRmdY&t=1m34s

Annnnd I'm done with this recorder forever.

/Throws recorder out the window

Rub some bacon on it? (Google it if you don't get it).

#TeamToaster

Has this thread turned into a spam thread?

Why people, can't you see the beauty in what the OP wrote? We need to stay on the rails, I'll start.

My favorite part of the story was when the pickles invaded and then all the duffle shuffle bags tried to send them back to the land of the forbidden oranges but they sadly failed.

So long as we're still doing random stuff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c7KuvpffWs