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Topo's Short Stories. (Yes, Thinslayer approves.)

33 replies [Last post]
Sat, 01/10/2015 - 05:53
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming

One Last Stand:

Grantz’s PoV

30 ASC (After Skylark Crash), Depth 29.

We finally made it to the Core. It wasn’t very big, compared to the other depths. Just a small space with some abandoned computer terminals. As Rulen linked up with one, and tried to hack into it, shadows began to manifest.

“Stay behind me!” I ordered, as I slammed my shield onto the ground, creating a bubble, protecting my team mates. As the shadows drew closer, I swung, slamming them away. Most disappeared in one hit. The rest looked more angry than hurt. They growled and charged at me. This time, I swung in an overhead swing, slamming them into the ground. They too, disappeared.

“That was easy.” Euclid remarked, sheathing his Leviathan blade, and placing a hand on Rulen’s shoulder, “We’re counting on you, buddy. Let’s open this thing and contact the Spiral Order.”
Just after Euclid spoke, the elevator which we came through rumbled, and a group of Darkfang Thwackers walked at us menacingly, as a Mender behind them cackled evilly. I slowly stepped forward, and raised my shield in preparation. They charged, and I smiled as they collided with my shield. It was one of the best shields, an Ironmight Plate Shield. I covered the only entrance, and they started to swing at my shield, slowly chipping at it, as I held them back. The elevator rumbled again, and another party decided to join the fray. As they too collided with me, I grunted in effort.

“Hurry up! I’m not going to last all day!” I yelled, as I pulled away my shield for a split second, and swung my gigantic sword, pushing them away, as I continued to hold my position. The elevator rumbled once more, and they collided with the shield. For a split second, I thought I could hold them back, but suddenly they surged forward, pushing my shield away, and clambering onto me.

“Grantz!” I heard Parma scream, and a Peacemaker shot.
“You might hit Grantz, Parma!” That was Euclid.
I struggled to push the Gremlins away, as their weapons and claws tore into my armour, and into my flesh. Pulling my sidearm out, I fired the Ultra Magnus twice into the crowd. Reloading, I fired twice again.
“Grantz!” I heard Euclid yell, and there was a distant thud.
“Stay away!” I yelled back, as one of the Thwacker’s axe sunk deep into my flesh. I howled, and with inhuman strength I pushed them off. I grabbed my blade, and I was in the crowd, slamming my sword into their bodies, crushing heads and vital organs.
Pain is only mental. I reminded myself, as they continued to attack. I continued attacking, and heard Euclid and Parma tried to help, but there simply was too many.

I let out a oof, as a axe slammed into me, and I fell onto my knees. I closed my eyes, and waited for death. It didn’t come. As I gingerly opened my eyes, I saw what had just come out of the elevator.
The Crimson Order Guardians. They were basically the Wardens. With a shield larger than my own, and a rocket hammer, they were intimidating, and impossible to beat. I struggled to get on my feet, and grabbed my sword and shield.
I laughed maniacally. It was impossible I was going to survive this encounter.
Slowly, in my head, I said the Guardian's oath.
I will protect my squad. I will put their safety before mine. I will make the last stand.
A last stand. That was what I was going to do. I yelled at them, and charged.

Critisim and stuff will be appreciated. I was thinking of what Grantz would have done, if he was surrounded, and the Core was opened. I know the writing sucks, but hey. I will improve. So maybe give some comments, some critisim? Thx! :D

Sat, 01/10/2015 - 09:00
#1
Saucce's picture
Saucce
Is evry1 on forum vanguard?

That was a good story! I saw u on enemy mine saying something happened in your life. I'm glad to see it kind of cleared up!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 07:50
#2
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
@Saucce

thx! Would be writing some more if ppl actually noticed :(

And yeah, things are better now. Thx for caring. :)

BUMP!

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 08:08
#3
Saucce's picture
Saucce
Wut is Bumping XD

Wut is Bumping XD

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 08:14
#4
Colray's picture
Colray
It's a thing.

Whenever you or other people comment on a story thread, it is moved to the top of the forums. When one is on the verge of being inactive, one(like Topogaming here) can put a small comment and 'bump' the thread to the top of the page where more people will likely see it.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 08:22
#5
Ember-Break's picture
Ember-Break
Hm, hm, hmm.

@Saucce
It's making a post on a thread which went back a page in order to bring it to the front page -- so that whatever is bumped is seen. I think the actual "Bump" is from something like Pinball, to make the ball start rolling when it gets stuck, which can be carried over metaphorically to Forum Posts and the like.

@Topo
Write the Fan-Fic because you want to write it, not because others are watching. Chances are, lots of people have come to this post and read over the Fan-fic, but simply haven't responded. Heck. I read over it and didn't respond -- I don't have a lot of time to spare as of late, and I'm already involved with a handful of other threads here.
I could critique this, but I've found myself holding myself back from any legitimate critiquing here in the Treasure Vault. Why? Because if I do, I might seem harsh, and my suggestions might be taken as "a reader trying to take someone else's story."

I might just be paranoid. But it takes time I don't have right now, anyways.

Furthermore, you should expect silence in the forums if you're writing a fan-fic. At one point or another, even if you're a really good writer, there are only so many synonymous ways of saying "Good job!" and "Keep on writing!" in existence before it just becomes arduous to click that "Preview" and then "Post" button.
That's the curse of Fan-Fics. You want responses, but more likely than not, you won't get any; so I point to my first statement.

Write the Fan-Fic because you want to write it, not because others are watching.

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 09:15
#6
Saucce's picture
Saucce
@Colray @Ember-Break thanks

@Colray @Ember-Break thanks

Mon, 01/12/2015 - 09:34
#7
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
Criticism is hard.

Hey Topo! I read your fanfic. Considering your long hiatus from the forums, the writing itself doesn't suck. The story is cool, but something feels off about it. Alpha Squad was the Spiral Order's finest, and none of them, let alone the heavily-armored Grantz, should be coming close to death this quickly into the battle.

I'd always imagined them to be making their last stand in the Unknown Passage, stuck in a hopeless battle with no escape against an enemy that's playing with their minds. They would share a few final moments of bonding over their fond memories of home, then make their last stand for each other.

Tue, 01/13/2015 - 05:32
#8
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
Ugh

@Thinslayer: Thanks. But meh. Sudden writing is sudden writing.

@Ember-Break: Well, the lack of commenters was..... sad. And I talked with Thin, and Thin told me to start small, something like this.

@Colray: Yes, thanks for that explaination! :D

I might write something else, but it will be combat oriented. Something short, of course. :D

Thx everyone!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 07:09
#9
Hearthstone's picture
Hearthstone
I'm Skye-Lightning, if you remember that little idiot. c:

Damn, you've improved a lot. IMO, you're a lot more "word-thrifty" now and you give characters a lot more vivid description now. At least, that's what I got.

~Meth

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 07:24
#10
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
Skye-Lightning

Hey, nice to see an old former back!

Wed, 01/14/2015 - 20:12
#11
Hearthstone's picture
Hearthstone

It's nice to be back, but personally I don't think I'll be writing Spiral Knight stuff much sooner. The "feel" of writing SK fan fictions has become distant with me :T Although I still do remember how to use forum tags...

Usually I get off pretty well with just prompts, but sometimes the prompts aren't just what I'm looking for.

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 02:34
#12
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming

Well..... huehueuhue. @Skye I know what you're writing..... Huehuehuehue

And I will be posting another short story this.... week? Anytime now!

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 02:34
#13
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming

Well..... huehueuhue. @Skye I know what you're writing..... Huehuehuehue

And I will be posting another short story this.... week? Anytime now!

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 19:14
#14
Hearthstone's picture
Hearthstone

And if you disclose that information, I will brutally murder you. I will shank your head several times your brain will become mush. I will meticulously slice your body parts off. I will tell my Maskewraith to attack you with poisonous salt shards. YES. SALT. SHARDS. c:

Well, aside from 'that' I've been trying to brutally murder Divine in in-game chat.

Looking forward to that next story.

--

Side note: I have a pun regarding my name. Assuming we are all mature-minded here can I use it? xD

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 20:11
#15
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
@Methamphetamine

I suppose we could all appreciate some "high" class humor, assuming we don't first "trip" over its subject matter.

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 22:11
#16
Hearthstone's picture
Hearthstone
If you somehow had sarcasm in that text, I can't get it xD

@Thinslayer - I suppose.

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 22:23
#17
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
@Methamphetamine

It wasn't sarcasm. It was a (failed) attempt at humor.

Whatevs.

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 22:29
#18
Ember-Break's picture
Ember-Break
It was puns.

I laughed, Thinslayer. So it wasn't a complete failure!

Fri, 01/16/2015 - 19:08
#19
Hearthstone's picture
Hearthstone

Goddangit I'm so bad at getting jokes.

Tue, 01/20/2015 - 07:45
#20
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
Hahahahaha

Jokes. Meh.

Here's a new story!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LIFE GOES ON
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark fired his Sentenza once, twice, three times, four, five and six, emptying it into a charging line of Gremlins, watching their bodies get hit with the bullets and falling to the floor, lifeless. He quickly ejected the spent cartridge, and rammed a fresh one into his gun. He was about to reload, when a dark shadow was cast on him.

He rolled out of the way just as a mortar exploded in the spot he was just in, blowing the remaining sandbags out of the way, destroying the only cover for Gamma squadron.
“Retreat!” Mark heard a familiar voice, his squad leader, in his COM unit. Firing backwards into the crowd, he ran.

A Gremlin sniper unslung his sniper rifle, and zoomed onto a running Spiral. He thought he could escape. He thought wrong. It pulled the trigger.

In Haven, Mark’s wife had suddenly become a widow without knowing. She will be a single mother, struggling in Haven.
Mark’s son, Mark Jr., had suddenly become fatherless.
Haven was still the same busy city was it was before. It did not stop because of one death.
Life went on.

Thu, 01/22/2015 - 03:29
#21
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
Ugh

BUMP

PLus, I will be writing something like a batman parody of Spiral Knights. Hmmm?

Thu, 01/22/2015 - 08:24
#22
Saucce's picture
Saucce
Oohhh Batman

Speaking of batman, do you watch Gotham?

Fri, 01/23/2015 - 02:00
#23
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
Yep!

Yea, but just one episode? I forget. hahahahaha.

/me does not receive any comments on story and is sad.

Fri, 01/23/2015 - 08:06
#24
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
@Topogaming

If you can handle criticism as well as praise, I may comment.

Sat, 01/24/2015 - 01:35
#25
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
@Thinslayer

@Thinslayer

I can handle ANYTHING.

Well, not anything. But make it as harsh as you want. :P

Sat, 01/24/2015 - 01:56
#26
Hearthstone's picture
Hearthstone

Good story, living up to the thread name.

Tue, 02/03/2015 - 04:41
#27
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
ARGH

Writer's block is stopping me! Help!

To help, vote on which on idea I should continue to write:

1. Batman Parody

2. No man left behind.

BUMP!

Tue, 02/03/2015 - 06:14
#28
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
2

No man left behind.

Tue, 02/03/2015 - 08:09
#29
Colray's picture
Colray
2

No man left behind

Thu, 02/05/2015 - 19:26
#30
Saucce's picture
Saucce
Weird... I thought u did this a while ago

BATMAN/BUMP

Wed, 02/11/2015 - 02:19
#31
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
BUMPING

PLus, Saucce, doesn't mean I'll give up on the batman idea.

Plus, it's hard to somehow to 'no man left behind', but if it's ok, I could do something CS:GO related? Urm. Idk.

Wed, 02/11/2015 - 07:50
#32
Saucce's picture
Saucce
YEAH! BANANA

YEAH! Totally CS:GO! Or AC:3 maybe, except the main character is like, a gremlin? And the knights are the british? I thought it would be interesting to see the knights as the bad guys when I had this idea.

Sat, 02/14/2015 - 05:05
#33
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming

Happy Valentines Day!

Urm. It's just a bump.

BUUUUT! I will be posting a ship, (Feron and someone else) tommorow. Hope Valentines haven't ended yet. :P

And Saucce, I love your idea on AC.

<3.

No Homo.

Nice.

Bai.

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