Corrupt A Wish

Let's play corrupt a wish! If you've never played before, here is the playing process:
1. User 1 makes a wish
2. User 2 creates a scenario where user 1's wish comes true in an ironic twist
3. User 2 makes a wish
4. User 3 creates a scenario where user 2's wish comes true in an ironic twist
And it goes on. So, I'll start!
I wish to live forever.

Granted, but now you have to take meds that keep you living forever! Hope you don't run out! Also the side effects are VERY Bad!
I wish for wings!

They fall off.
I wish that my wish would be corrupted.
If you corrupt it then it isn't corrupted so it has to be corrupted etcetc

Paradox happens, awakening Deathwing the Destroyer.
I wish Deathwing would DESTROY THE NEXT POSTER! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ACME! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Since you posted, you are the next poster, ergo Deathwing the Destroyer destroyes you.
I don't wish anything.

Deathwing technically would've destroyed you, so he does it to YOU.
I wish for the next person to slip on a banana peel.

Denied, I walked past the banana peel.
I wish to have a Pet Snarbolax.

Granted, but after you return to Haven it began eating other knights. You're no longer allowed in Haven, anymore.
I wish to discover Cradle's surface outside of Haven (and The Crash Site where we started)

Granted, but once you go back to the Crash Site and investigate your old Escape Pod, you kept pressing buttons and got trapped inside your escape pod.
I wish to have everything I want for My main knight, and my Alts.

you get banned for hacking.
I wish, I wish, I WISH...for video game characters to come alive and visit my house.

The Combine are stopping by to say hello. And also to kill you.
I wish for a nice bowler hat!

It has an inbuilt Lobotomy theater, you are now a shankle.
I wish for Lord Vanaduke to be my wingmate.

He accidentally sits on you out of a joke and crushes you to death due to his weight.
I wish for the Royal Jelly's royal jigglies.
Did you even look at the first page of GC?