Spiral Knights - A Minor Problem

A Minor Problem

21 replies [Last post]

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 18:05

Quintinius-Vergnix

Okay, so someone in my guild (Divine Wolves) named [REDACTED] brought back these weird stone jars from a Graveyard. The jars have an arch above a circle with three smaller circles below the main circle engraved on them. Plus, the jars emanate this weird spooky pinkish mist. Anyway, a new member named [REDACTED] joined the guild, and I threw all of the jars into a utility closet on the second floor of the right wing on my guild hall because I thought they might scare [REDACTED] off the guild if [REDACTED] entered the guild hall. They landed kind of hard, and made a bunch of dull thunking noises when they landed in the utility closet. Anyway, I think some of the jars broke, and when I went to get the jars out of the utility closet, there was this really thick reddish mist floating out, and a mop with the same symbol engraved on the jars floating above it started whacking me with its handle. After I sliced the mop in half with my Leviathan Blade, a bunch of other mops, buckets, detergents, floor waxes and other cleaning supplies started streaming out of the closet and started attacking all of the Knights in the guild hall and we had to evacuate and then we called for a security detachment of Knights and right now we're in the Garrison and aiming various weapons at the entrance to the Guild Halls and I'm writing this from my mobile com unit and I need help.

Any ideas?

P.S. Please remind [REDACTED] to never bring back artifacts from the Clockworks again. Thank you.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:52

Gbot-Vtwo

ก☝️~(❤️ ✉️❤️ )~☝️ก

THROW A RAVE AND INVITE THEM. RAVES FIX EVERYTHING. ก็็↩️(☯_☯)↪️ก็็

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:23

Malware-Exe

inb4 divine RAVERS

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:38

Hexzyle

I think you've been watching too much mickey mouse.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:42

Gbot-Vtwo

☢♜☠I ΛM ƬΉΣ BӨI-ӨΉΛZΛЯD!☠♖☣

what do you mean too much mickey mouse? oh... now i get the reference...... ก็็↩️(☯_☯)↪️ก็็

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:46

Quintinius-Vergnix

Close, not quite.

I mixed a bottle of Mountain Dew with a bottle of 5-hour Energy and drank it. Then I played some SCP: Containment Breach.

I guess this is the end result?

You'll have to elaborate a bit on the Mickey Mouse reference a bit. I'm afraid I don't quite follow what you're trying to say.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 19:52

Gbot-Vtwo

☢♜☠I ΛM ƬΉΣ BӨI-ӨΉΛZΛЯD!☠♖☣

he's talking about mickey mouse and the wizard reference, you know with the buckets and moving broom, appliances, etc. ก็็↩️(☯_☯)↪️ก็็

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 20:08

Quintinius-Vergnix

By the way,

In Scribblenauts you can make any inanimate objects sentient by typing "Living " or "Hostile ".
I ended up shooting hordes of hostile toasters with a Gatling gun mounted on a Colossal Ridable Pocket Watch, which was tied to a Large Winged Polka Dotted Bathtub with a rope.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 20:23

Gbot-Vtwo

☢♜☠I AM THE BOI-OHAZARD!☠♖☣

That was one of my favorite games! Too bad i lost it! o.O

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 20:37

Quintinius-Vergnix

You can buy it on Google Play

You can buy it on Google Play for $0.99 USD.

Anyway, who wants to help fight the possessed cleaning supplies?

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 20:51

#10

Gent-Soopakoopa

Sympathy.

Honestly I have to take the mop's side. How would YOU like it if somebody grabbed you by the neck, dipped
your butt in cold water and then rubbed it back and forth across the floor for 15 minutes straight? Yeah, go
have somebody do that to you, THEN come back and whine about how mean your cleaning supplies are.

Tue, 05/26/2015 - 21:30

#11

Gbot-Vtwo

☢♜☠I ΛM ƬΉΣ BӨI-ӨΉΛZΛЯD!☠♖☣

ก็็↩️(☯_☯)↪️ก็็ LETS RAVE INSTEAD! ก็็↩️(☯_☯)↪️ก็็

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 12:45

#12

Liminori

An explanation.

What really happened isn't that big of a mystery.
Those were Jars filled with the Cursing substance- Which causes you to do damage to yourself when applied because of a forceful chemical reaction. Curse is a failed byproduct of the swarm, because unlike the Swarm, Curse goes away over time.
The reason that Curse can effect inanimate objects is because curse really is just a little part of the Swarm taking control- The reason you don't take damage when you don't (Attempt) to swing your weapon when cursed is because the Swarm Byproduct is too weak to make you do things you wouldn't do yourself, but is strong enough to make you unable to use your cursed limbs.
Because the Mops, Brooms, and everything else were not living, the Swarm was able to take control of your Utility Closet, and make an army.

GG.
Never use Curse Vials on anything but enemies.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 14:19

#13

Quintinius-Vergnix

Observations

- The jars used to inspire extreme paranoia in nearby Knights before I threw them into the utility closet and they broke.
- The possessed cleaning supplies deal Shadow damage.
-The knights who were present in the guild hall at the time along with the security detachment managed to destroy most of the cleaning supplies but a few managed to curse all of the furniture in the guild hall as well.
-Strangely, all of the potted plants that were possessed are withered and dead, although the maintenance constructs report the sprinkler systems in the guild hall are working fine.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 14:28

#14

Archemiday-Thebard

Well, at least your guild doesn't consist on diggers. Then it would be a *miner* problem.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 14:28

#15

Gbot-Vtwo

☢♜☠I AM THE BOI-OHAZARD!☠♖☣

Well there is only one way to fix this problem. BURN EVERYTHING POSSESSED IN THERE.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 16:42

#16

Archemiday-Thebard

No Gbot, don't burn everything. I need this to be a clean kill.

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 17:15

#17

Quintinius-Vergnix

Status Update.

Garrison has been overrun by possessed sentient furniture.
Remaining Knights ordered to retreat to Haven's Town Square through the Garrison Entrance, which is now barricaded with surplus Dark Shards bought off the Auction House. I have a bad feeling about the Dark Shards.
Requesting Mecha Turret support from Spiral HQ.
Defensive perimeter surrounding the staircase leading to the Garrison Entrance assembled.
Awaiting additional reinforcements.

Thu, 05/28/2015 - 22:43

#18

Xteri

WE HAVE A BREACH, I REPEAT WE HAVE A BREACH!!!!... THE CAPS-LOCK IS GETTING THROUGH!!!!

Fri, 05/29/2015 - 15:33

#19

Quintinius-Vergnix

Status Update.

Defensive perimeter reinforced with 10 Mecha Turrets.
Sentient cursed furniture and remaining sentient cursed cleaning supplies have consumed the Dark Shards and have grown to immense proportions, cracking some of the floor tiling in the process, which the Strangers probably won't be very happy about.
Still awaiting reinforcements.

Fri, 05/29/2015 - 15:39

#20

Liminori

I just realised of the Ironicness of the situation

Cursed cleaning supplies.
You now have nothing to...
Clean the mess.
-
More importantly, Why'd you eat all my Ramen, and spill the last pack in the utility closet?!?!?

Sat, 05/30/2015 - 11:13

#21

Leafblader

moo

I have sent some of my guild members and some mecha knights to help defeat the sentient cursed inanimate objects.

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A Minor Problem