People had been taking the other items on the list too seriously, so I'll stick to the one that could actually be practical.
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Flamethrowers - The Flamethrower shoots large cones of fire at opponents, each particle having a low chance of moderate fire. Flamethrowers require to be charged before having the ability to spray fire, and normal attacks fire a mere pathetic cloud of flames that does minimal damage and has extremely low chances of fire (and short range). The charge would be somewhat similar to the Antigua's, except with a much greater spread, less projectile range (around 3-5 tiles), and much less damage per shot. (But, of course, many more particles and nice status chance).
Normal and charge attacks can penetrate through multiple targets, but they do have limited range.
Weapon itself would deal pure elemental damage.
Unlike the Mixmaster, it can't fire through walls. Because that was intentional.
Can move around while firing and unleashing a charge attack.
The faster your attack speed, the faster the charge will come out. However, this will decrease the amount of time it will be spraying, and could be viewed as negative. (But, you could of course withdraw it faster and deal status faster.)
Very long charge time.
Normal attacks would have a higher damage per hit on the projectiles since there is a lower count, but it would have less range than even the charge attack and lower status chance. Overall, it wouldn't be too much worth using.
Charge attacks can set flames to the ground that will linger for a couple seconds, allowing you to pop some damage in the enemies whilst recharging or switching.
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I may legitimately add onto this later, and if the devs actually do look through the suggestions (and add some), I doubt the end product would actually be a full on flamethrower.
Rocks - So now I have to equip a completely pointless weapon to get rid of a weapon slot just to be able to get a new consumable of some sort that's basically a slightly stronger version of a stun vial?
Maybe make it drop from destroyable blocks instead (not respawning ones though)?
Laser pointers - Oh, great! Now I can't accessorize my armor to look the way I want it!
ACCESSORIES SHOULDN'T AFFECT GAMEPLAY, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ONLY GIVE NEGATIVE EFFECTS.
Flamethrowers - So normal attacks are almost useless, and charge attacks are just about a copy of VP? No thank you.