Spiral Knights - Words that will strike fear into your soul. (And words that will make you have hope)

Words that will strike fear into your soul. (And words that will make you have hope)

18 replies [Last post]

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 06:04

Paintool

Feel free to add to this horrifying list of very scary things.
Presented to you without commentary:

"Changes - Drop rates of fire crystals have been adjusted"
"These items have no cash or redemption value"
"For a limited time only"
"In the Supply Depot"
"Make your way to the summit to find special 4* Solstice Ring trinkets. Combine them together to make the 5* Grand Solstice Ring trinket!"
"14 boxes for $49.95"
"<1% chance for the following:"
"Spiral HQ has created new costume gear and accessories featuring the colorful gemstone"
"Bring balance to your knight with a new Celestial Vortex"
"This new UI features a number of new features and enhancements that we're sure you'll appreciate, including:
- A visible character portrait and new health display "
"Feel the Love... Forever!"
"Moonstone + Valestone"
"February 21, 2011 - Wolvers"
" I have resigned from my position at Three Rings - Nick"
"Changes - Behind the scenes changes"
"Our new release date for the Gunner Update is therefore: "When It's Ready."
"Changes - More behind the scenes changes"
"Java"

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 07:39

Tobutori

I must agree with...

the last one ;-;

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 08:38

Spiralka-Chan

>_<

"this game still exists?"
"just let this game die already"
"make new content and we'll spend money"
"pay2win model"
"it was a cool game 2 or 3 years ago but now..."
"it looks like the last patch somehow broke SpiralSpy v1.5 and I have no clue what exactly went bust"

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 09:58

Lordcalvinheins

oh god...

/faint
(is that even a real command?)

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 10:57

Ogygus

"New missions" "New forge

"New missions"
"New forge system"
How many years we gonna call it new?

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 11:39

Sir-Pandabear

"Please also note that it is not our intention to reduce the power of these bombs in any way."

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 16:57

Leafblader

Moo

Q: Will you change any of the existing game mechanics such as the revive system from how it is now to how it used to be?
A: We have no plans to change the revive system.

Q: Will you implement the old revive system or add it to the new one.
A: No.

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 17:16

Fangel

"While looking for the perfect balance of items, you may also find variant tickets and some Confetti!

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 19:34

Teddysmacker

Lmao

"I'm sorry, this is not enough to afford the item."
"I can't even see the missing heat portion of the bar."
"Your Trinket Slots/Weapon Slots have expired."
"I found three eternals from one box."
"I just rolled CTR VH on a Gran Faust."
"50 Radiant Fire Crystals for 700 Energy."
"You need three Ultimate Evo Catalysts per pet."
"The Kataclysmic Event"
"Energy Prices are at 10k crowns."
"Punch"
"4,000 Energy for unbinding."
"Your item on the Auction House has not sold."
"Deleted a character"
"X quit the game."
"Server Maintenance"
"Disconnected from the server."

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 19:38

Melonfish

When you thought you weeded the big one out of the group...

"Arise!"

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 19:57

#10

Midnight-Dj

Shameless self-advertisement

'Ruined childhood'

Tue, 02/21/2017 - 21:13

#11

Draycos

"Cosmetics are considered playable content."

Wed, 02/22/2017 - 08:45

#12

Umbra-Lunatis

"hey guys we should add a marriage mechanic"
"invincitinks"
"[sounds of thwack hammer hitting you in the face 5cm before it vanishes]"
" " -mods (circa 2014)
"winmillion will never get 5*" -guy who's probably right
"[buzzing noise made by audio lag]"
" " -battle sprite that stopped dead 2 minutes ago due to lag

Wed, 02/22/2017 - 11:56

#13

Corporal-Shade

Hello Darkness, my Old Friend.

"Dual wielding"
"Legacy achievements"
"Grinding"
"Reading"
"Meow"
"Lucky!"

Wed, 02/22/2017 - 12:25

#14

Crazee-Pi-Forum

Remember, don't shoot food.

"Banned for buying Prismatic Bolted Vees"

Sat, 02/25/2017 - 21:02

#15

Paintool

In wake of how depressing

In wake of how depressing reality is considering all the above, let's have an optimistic list of things that we would like to hear (but prolly never get).
Feel free to post things you wish* you could hear from Grey Havens.

"Changes - Drop rates of fire crystals have been BUFFED"
"Permanent additional content (no more extinct costumes)"
"In the Supply Depot: old prize boxes"
"You can now craft 4* Solstice Ring trinkets with materials. Combine them together to make the 5* Grand Solstice Ring trinket!"
"14 boxes for $19.95"
"100% chance for the following: (Gourmet Prize Box Anyone?)"
"Spiral HQ has created new costume gear and accessories featuring Beta Armors***"
"Bring balance to your knight with a new Celestial Vortex (Now a permanent recipe!)"
"This new UI features a number of new features and enhancements that we're sure you'll appreciate, including:
- Toggable Old UI settings "
"Feel the Love... Forever! You can now health rev team mates again!"
"Moonstone + Valestone = can be sold in Bazaar"
"February 21, 2018 - Wolvers now attack like Gorgos just like they were originally meant to be"
" We now accept community involvement via STEAM WORKSHOP"
"Changes - Behind the scenes changes... just kidding here's what we're actually changing"
"Our new release date for the Gunner Update is therefore: "When It's Ready. (At least you were honest)"
"Changes - More behind the scenes changes... just kidding, I want to have an honest relationship with my customers"
"Java -> sweet death"

Sun, 02/26/2017 - 15:20

#16

Umbra-Lunatis

oh boy this is a good prompt i like this prompt gimme a minute

"Take to the Skies! Players using armor with Valkyrie or Dragon wings can now access the cosmetic /fly command via the chat window"
"The Ocean Awaits! A rogue band of Gremlins has amassed a fleet of seafaring craft and taken over Cradle's waterways. We leave it to you to figure out how to deal with that. Yarr"
"Echoes of a Kingdom long past resonate within the Clockworks. The Souls of Almire, led by a freed Duke, have joined forces with the Spiral Knights to save the heart of Cradle from the looming darkness that threatens it. New tales reveal themselves as you progress through added missions"
"Rise of the Seven. The remaining Gremlin Warlords of Cradle have banded together under their King once more to challenge the Spiral Order. Battle their machines of destruction and reap the rewards of their armories!"
"Announcement - Spiral Knights will transition from its former Java scripting to a polished Unity platform by 2018"
"Return of the Jelly Bomb! Blast Jellies will now explode upon death once again"
"Alert! Jelly Cubes have begun to use fallen weapons as their own, posing a (quite severe) threat to Spiral HQ's operations. Dodge energy blasts and Autogun fire as you eliminate this new hazard!"
"Scalding Subordinates! Firebrander Devilites have found their boss' stashes of coffee and taken it for themselves! Firebranders will now hurl coffee pots at unwary Knights"
"Valve of Friendship! Spiral HQ and the developers of Team Fortress 2 have banded together to give the Mann Co. mercenaries Isoran headgear in exchange for a few of their armaments. You can now craft several Team Fortress-inspired weapons and armors at the Mysterious Alchemy Machine"
"The First Spiral HQ Armored Vehicle division has been formed! You can now purchase Tank and Mech armor recipes from Basil in Clockwork Terminals"
"How many wins does it take to defeat the opposition? More than a Million. The Spur's lineage has reached a pinnacle with its new 5* form"
"There's nothing better than slicing robots apart with a sword...unless you have TWO swords! The Cutter line has been re-imagined with a toggleable dual-wielding animation and new upgrade options"
"Small fix - Battle Sprite Recolors now display differently colored attacks based on their element. The Black Kat Seraphynx's attack will now be violet-colored, and the Snarblepup Maskeraith's quills will use the Snarbolax Spine model"
"Small update - The Snarbolax Cap, Snarbolax Coat, 4* and 5* Thorn Shields, and the 4* and 5* Thorn Blades will now display Prismatic colorations. To counter this, we have also released a "Wildwood" Personal Color to fill in the color gap between Red and Orange"
"Glorps from Beyond the Grave! Necro Jellies have begun taking control of Zombies, and Soul Jellies have turned aggressive. Battle your way through their shambling, squishy ranks to seek an audience with their King, the massive Bone Jelly!"
"Calling Knights of the Square Table! Chess has become a commodity in Haven, and the Strangers have capitalized on it. Purchase Chess Set usables from vendors in Haven to challenge your friends (or enemies) to a game of intellect for honor, bragging rights, and bet money (Spiral HQ does not condone gambling of a non-prize-box nature). Knights may now additionally purchase Medal accessories that display chess victories"
"Fight with Ivory! The Flourish now has a new Shadow line in the style of the Almirian Spear"
"Treasure Recalibration. Loot dropped in Arcade levels will now increase with the level's difficulty"

Tue, 03/07/2017 - 20:58

#17

Grittle

I'm a former husk of myself

"Why did I visit this forum after nearly 5 years of inactivity?"

Thu, 03/09/2017 - 15:29

#18

Agentz

BLARGH

I was fine until the line about Nick.

That hit me hard for some reason ;~;
~Z

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Words that will strike fear into your soul. (And words that will make you have hope)