AN: Sorry hadn't had the time lol. In case people care.
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Feron was falling at a speed of 3,000,000km/h. "noooooooooooooooooooo," Feron typed again once he saw that he was a kilometre away from certain death. Below was Emberlight, with its dimly lit torches marking Feron's grave.

The speed Feron fell at was so intense that he felt he was going a bit too fast. He barely had time to process the thought as he landed on a torch and died.

Just kidding. Feron can't die that easily. Realizing his strength, Feron readjusted his armour and walked over to the Gremlins, after climbing out of the crater he left of course.

That random Gremlin who sells vitapods (btw is the vitapod vendor in Emberlight a Gremlin?) entered a mystical trance. Curious, Feron approached them. Vita-Gremlin said, in a speech bubble, "Feron. Proceed no further. Death awaits you." As suddenly as Vita-Gremlin entered the trance, he/she left it.

"k lol," typed Feron. Feron walked a few steps when, GASP!

Vita-Gremlin takes out a copper slicing knife!

Feron takes out his Warmaster Rocket Hammer!

Vita-Gremlin slashes at Feron's neck, but the shot is deftly parried by the Warmaster Rocket Hammer!

Feron bashes Vita-Gremlin in the head with the Warmaster Rocket Hammer, driving the skull through the brain, and tearing apart the brain! Vita-Gremlin has been struck down!

Feron checked the ground for any crowns or heat the Gremlin may have dropped, but failed to find anything. Upon publicly displaying his strength and dominance by not only killing the Vita-Gremlin in a single strike, but by looting his/her body, another Gremlin approached Feron. Gremlin 2 speech-bubbled, "Greetings traveller. You...yes, you might just be the perfect candidate."

"ok give me money nub," typed Feron.

Gremlin 2 speech-bubbled, "No, that's not what this is about. You see, I'm not actually a Gremlin."

"lolwut"

"I'm actually... DESNA!" she typed (she didnt speech-bubble see how smart i am for changing that?) as she took off her disguise. "Long time, no see, huh?"

"yeah"

"You see, I need you to forget about the Gremlin-Lagbots for a second. Or maybe for the rest of this fic."

"k"

Desna stood on Vita-Gremlin's corpse and checked his/her body for loot. After this brief, random, unnecessary detail, Desna continued, "You see, my guild, Recon Raid, is in default."

"uh huh"

"If you would donate, um, 1kcr, I would really appreciate it."

"1k?! i just spent my crowns on a chair"

"Just do it. Also, join the guild so I can continue to leach money from your parents' wallets."

"k fine"

Desna, years ago, and as Feron knew, relocated Recon Raid's guild hall to Emberlight after discussing it with Grey Havens. She marched through the streets of Emberlight, and Feron followed closely behind. Soon enough, they arrived in a modest guild hall with nothing but a bed in a room labelled, "Desna's Room: Don't Enter."

Feron gave Desna the 1kcr, and the Guild Hall came back to life. Desna sent Feron a guild invite, but before Feron accepted, he had one more question.

He typed, "who else is in recon raid"

Desna typed, "Is that important?"

Feron typed, "/me nods."

"If you really care, you wouldn't care once you met them. They're so generic, you could find out everything about them just by looking at their god-awful character designs. I'm looking at that pink-haired twin-tailed tsundere."

Feron sighed, then typed, "ill just join nub you better be grateful"

Desna didn't reply immediately. Instead, she went onto Microsoft Word, copied a speech she had typed up, and prepared to paste it into guild chat once Feron joined. Her tale went as thus:

OOOOOOOOOO
Akame ga kill/spiral knights crossover: The spiral relics

by desna-knightTeamChelsea

once upon a tim the leader of the spiral order was a night named rhendon. rhinendon was an amazing kght, surpassing the strength of night raid, alpha squad, and the justice league combed. he knew that he wood not live fourever so he set out to create the "spiral arms" which would last and protectect the spiral order for eternality

he sit out gathering all of the greatist armorsmiths weaponsmiths and bombsmiths in order to craate his amazeing colection. the kindom set its entire infrareducture on fetch quest inorder to git stuff since project was that cool. rhendpn managed to makr 48 pieces of stuff before the fiscal cliff came but teh bigr issue was that rendon was ded. tearz

the end
OOOOOOOOOO

Feron typed, "wtf did i just read"

Desna typed back, "I wrote it when I was, like, twelve."

"nerd"

"shut up prick im trying to save as much face as i can"

There was silence in the chat for moment. Desna regained her composure and typed, "Sorry about that out-of-character moment. Anyway, the point is that in order to EVENTUALLY defeat the Gremlin-lagbots and EVENTUALLY get the plot back on track, we need to get some Spiral Arms."

"ok lets do this" typed Feron.

Of course, they had no idea where they were going, but that's something for the next chapter. Unfortunately... DUN DUN DUN!

Herex appeared before our heroes! He aimed an AK-47 at them and speech-bubbled, "Prepare to die, spiral scum!"

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?!?

"well that was bs" Feron typed once they were gunned down.

Desna typed back, "Thank the lord I happened to buy a 10-pack of sparks a minute ago."

"can you rev me"

"We're going to go on a vana run after this, for the crowns, y'know?"

"sure lets just rev"

Desna gave Feron a spark of life. At the same time, they revived themselves to stand against their deadly foe. Herex speech-bubbled, "Mwahaha! Recon Raid, justice has come! This is my special Spiral Arm, the AK-47!"

"wtf am i seeing" typed Feron.

"Your nonsense is unnecessary," Herex speech-bubbled, "justice will be swift!" Herex fired a shot at Desna' face and five piercing-damage bars fell from her body.

Desna typed, "wtf"

Feron typed, "shouldnt you have your own spiral arm"

Pondering what Feron just said, she typed back, "Oh yeah, how could I forget that?" Desna reached into her pocket and took out a sword the size of her body. It looked like a Combuster except cooler/hotter/whatever word I should use. Desna, slashing the air, typed, "This is my Spiral Arm, the Incinerator! Death shall come to the evil empi-I mean, the Gremlins!"

Herex then shot Desna in the face again, killing her. She typed, "omfg" After swearing at her computer, she used another spark of life. For the sake of the narrative, let's just say that things were about to get significantly more serious. Meanwhile, Feron went afk to get some popcorn and also so i won't have to write in his actions since it would be too hard.

Desna charged at Herex, preparing to slash him with the Incinerator. She pressed left ctrl to toggle on auto-target. Since Desna rolled hundreds of thousands of crowns worth of UV's on her sword, it had both ASI VH and CTR VH. Herex, since he was lagging from the massive spam back up in Haven (he is a f2p scrub ass), could not possibly react and received a 9th degree burn to the face.

Herex speech-bubbled, "Why are we hitting each other in the face?"

Desna typed, "How should I know?" as she struck Herex with another AT attack.

However, Herex would not give up easily. Even though half of his face was hanging off, he mustered the will to aim the AK-47 at Desna's face. He loudly speech-bubbled, "Prepare to face my trump card, the bullet beam!" Instead of shooting bullets, the AK-47 shot a green beam.

Desna typed back, "Oh no you don't! Prepare to face MY trump card, the Super Flame Coronal Awesome Impact!" A red beam shot from the Incinerator. The beams met in mid-air like in Harry Potter. The two pointed their weapons as hard as they could.

Herex, struggling, speech-bubbled, "RAAAWWRRR! I can point harder than you!"

Desna typed, "Nuh-uh. My auto-target shall defeat you!"

"What if I told you that my AK-47 can increase it's power setting?" Herex then pushed a button on the side of his AK-47, and the green beam became bigger. The green beam began advancing towards Desna, with the red beam getting pushed back.

Desna typed, "What if I told you that my Incinerator has CTR VH?"

"MASAKA!"

Feron was watching the fight while eating his popcorn. He typed, "this is so dumb lol all youre doing is one upping each other"

Herex speech-bubbled, "Have you even watched Akame ga Kill?!" as the red beam grew large enough and blasted him away. Herex's head was blown off, and he speech-bubbled, "It's not over yet. I have one last trump card in store."

Desna typed, "omg this is even worse than the show"

Herex speech-bubbled, "My last trump card is... BARREL IMPACT!" He threw the AK-47 and it hit Desna in the face. She died instantly.

"wtf" typed Desna.

Herex ran to the entrance of the guild hall and speech-bubbled, "I'll be back some day. My name is Herex, and don't you forget it!"

"Well," typed Desna, "that was a waste of sparks."

Feron typed, "u just suck"

Desna refused to reply. Instead, she revived herself and walked out of the guild hall. Feron typed, "arent we going on a vana run"

Desna typed, "Yes. One of our comrades in Recon Raid is on the first depth."

"k lets go"

Desna joined the Recon Raid member, and Feron followed soon after. As soon as he joined, he saw...

TO BE CONTINUED?!?!