I like this game to bits. I really do. I recommend it everywhere and I'm very glad to have finally found a Diablo-like that is actually fun. I can move directly using WASD or play with a gamepad instead of clicking places and telling this distant dude where to go! I can do combos and aim manually and charge up attacks and dodge enemy swipes!

In theory.

In practice I might as well put on a blindfold and cover my ears because what I'm seeing on my screen and what's actually happening is only loosely related. Swords will randomly not connect to monsters. I can run away from a telegraphed attack and still end up being hit even though I'm several tile away. Sometimes I'll just arbitrarily teleport back into an attack or further ahead onto a spike trap. It's not always that bad, but even at its best I still get hit by things that have absolutely no business hitting me at all. I can block hundreds of milliseconds in advance of an attack and still get hit right through the shield.

As a huge fan of action games, I want to like this game. It's Zelda 3, only with online co-op that I can enjoy for a couple of hours each day. The lag is ruining it though. I can't play it like an action game at all. I can only play it as a wimpy scaredy-cat who always stays at least four tiles away from anything and blocks at the slightest suspicion of danger game. I want to frame-block. I want to dodge enemy strikes by a hair and go "phew, that was close. I want enemies to get hit when I can clearly see my sword passing right through them.

I don't buy CE. I think it feels like cheating and deprives me of the all the adventure I'd otherwise have doing runs earning the crowns for that energy. I don't mind grinding at all. In fact, I welcome it. As long as a game is fun I'll repeat the same fun task over and over as much as the game demands of me and still stays fun. So here's my proposition: Please sell me fun.

I. The Totally Awesome Suggestion You Probably Won't Even Consider:
Let me buy the game. I can name four people who would pick it up in an instant. Sell me a non-MMO Spiral Knights that can be played offline or directly connected to other players as opposed to the proxy servers that only add to the lag.

2. The Runescape Suggestion:
Let me pay $5-$10 a month for playing on dedicated servers that guarantee <100ms ping (and while on this subject, why the flying fudge is the game not showing my ping anywhere?). I would hop on it in a heartbeat.

3. The Stop Being So [Freaking] Mystical About Everything Suggestion:
I live in Norway. When I hop onto the game and experience lag I try to switch to a Spanish or German haven only to find that it doesn't actually help anything. Where are the servers located? What's my ping to them? Does the haven I use affect the server I'm on when doing dungeons? Tell me stuff! Give the players a list of servers and show their ping to each one. Show where they're located. Let the players pick between them while in dungeons.

Anyone else got anything?