I can't read this. It needs line breaks. Paragraphs.

An interesting tale. It would be nice if we had more (canonized) stuff like this coming from the Devs, but I s'pose they're too busy with petty matters like "improving gameplay" and "additional content". Pfeh! :P

Anyway, I found your work to be quite engrossing, except for the fourth sentence in the second (big) paragraph, starting with "With the extremely long lifespan..." While a majority of your writing flows easily, and is easy to read and comprehend, that sentence alone seemed comparatively clumsy in it's delivery. Perhaps it's merely because I believe that the long lifespans of the Creators would hold little bearing on whether or not the Spiral Knights eventually undergo design changes or upgrades. Progress is only natural, after all...

But aside from that minor quibble, I applaud your efforts, and eagerly await more. :)

Hey, man! That was some crazy sci-fi! It was very nice, especially the free-will thing, although I wonder if it's possible for something to be completely intelligent and not free. I usually don't like sci-fi very much, and I'm more interested in the interesting details of the setting of Spiral Knights than its universe, so I wrote this:

SPIRAL KNIGHTS - 1. THE CRASH

Martin’s pod landed with a crash onto the sandy earth. The door sprang open and he stumbled out into the sunlight, shielding his eyes. His pod barely hit a grassy hill to his left and he decided to climb it and look around. From up there he could see a sparkling pond, around which there were other crashed pods, many with their owners standing or sitting in front of them. He could see that some of these people had spotted him and one of them even raised his hand and waved in the distance. Martin made to start climbing down the hill, when he looked up at the glorious sun and it exploded—

He was violently shaken awake from his dream by the impact and he felt his body rolling around as it was thrust back and forth. And then he was launched again solid wall and it caved and he was lying on warm metal, his face pressed against something hard. He opened his eyes to a dusty, dim light and coughed. Still coughing, he limped back to a standing position. He looked around the grey surroundings and the first question that came to his mind was not “Where am I?” but “Is this where I’m supposed to be?” For some reason this was much more important and he couldn’t remember if there was a place he should be, nor where it could be.

After the dust settled he could see another crashed pod further ahead. The man sitting in front of it kept staring at the sputtering fire for some time, clearly pretending to not see Martin, before he raised his eyes and looked at him. The man stared piercingly into his eyes for long moments, his face unmoving and his look vacant, even though Martin was sure that his own dusty, confused expression certainly conveyed that he needed help or a greeting. But the man looked back down into the fire, over which a fat carbonized bird span slowly. Martin recognized the man’s Skylark outfit and stumbled in his direction, eager for some answers. As he moved closer, the man still stared into the fire.

When he had walked half the way towards the man, Martin spotted two people talking at a distance. They had been concealed by a tree, but he could now see a heavily-armored woman talking fluently to a very tall man. Martin observed them for some time, unsure of what to do, and took in his surroundings. There were very few trees and the sky and air were a dusty grey that seemed to match the strangely dark water that ran down the stream to his right. Much further ahead he could see the outlines of what looked like a small city, surrounded by birds that seemed to be able to hover in the air. He glanced back to the pair and saw they were still talking. Now that he looked properly, he wasn’t sure the tall person was a man – he was much taller than any man he had ever seen and his head was covered by a large hat. A native, perhaps?

Martin slowly approached them and was glad to realize that he could understand what the woman spoke – she was saying something about the birds and seemed to be quoting prices, even though she uttered complete sentences of what sounded like gibberish. When he reached them, he addressed both in what he supposed was a loud, strong voice:

“Where was the Skylark going? Where are we?”

To his surprise, the tall man turned abruptly to him and clearly told him off for being interrupted, even though Martin could not understand the language. He assumed the man would understand him, since he had been talking to the woman. He turned to her for help, but she gave him an annoyed look.

“Move along!” she said, gesturing at the distance.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand…” he said.

“Go!” she demanded, now pointing to the city.

Martin left the two and started to walk towards the city. On the way he could see that the birds hovered in mid-flight by strangely flapping their wings in a circle around them. He spotted many other tall men when approaching the city and many of them had some of these birds perched on their shoulders. Some children were running after some of the birds, laughing and playing.

When he reached a white wall and what looked like a gate, a passing man who was holding a large sword looked over his shoulder at Martin and stopped. He turned at him, looked down at his clothes and dusty hair and said, “What are you doing here?”

“I have no idea,” replied Martin. “I don’t know where I am.”

“This is Haven. You’re not allowed here.”

“What do you mean? What is this place?”

“You just in?” asked the man curiously.

“What?”

“Are you new here? Just crashed?”

“Yes!”

“You’re in Cradle, but you’re not allowed into Haven, go away.” And the man stormed away.

Martin did not leave, but did not dare enter the city. He stood there, by the gates, peering into the cobbled streets and the sparkle of a fountain very far away. Not many people other than the tall, standing strangers were visible, and many of them were walking busily around carrying weapons. One or two seemed to be struggling to move around heavy sacks full of things. Suddenly he heard a voice behind him.

“Hey, here.”

He turned and saw the same woman, who handed him a large silver coin and said, “Okay?”

“What is this?”

“What, weren’t you begging?”

“No! Where are we? What is Haven?”

“You’re just crashed?” she asked.

“Yes, my pod is back there, and I don’t even remember where we’re going. How come am I so lost? You’ve crashed here, too? Were you in the Skylark?”

“Yes, of course I was,” she said, a little impatiently. “And you’re not the only one who’s lost, nobody remembers where we were going.”

“What are you wearing?” he asked, noticing her armor. “Why am I not allowed to go into the city?”

“Haveners are only interested in the Clockworks or in crowns, they don’t want you here.”

“What about you? They don’t care you were in the Skylark?”

“Don’t you get it? Everybody here was in the Skylark,” she said, before pausing for a little while she looked at him. “But I guess for some reason the pods have crashed separately, in different moments. I have been here for years. I was one of the first, I think.”

Martin was shocked. “What happened to the Skylark? What made the pods disassemble?”

“Nobody knows… Listen, I have to hurry. Like I said, they only care about the Clockworks here at Haven, so unless you want to become a Spiral Knight,” her tone dripped contempt, “you have no business here.” And she turned and walked into the city.

“What are the Spiral Knights?” Martin called after her, but she didn’t hear him.

Forgot to mention: regarding the art direction in a live-action adaptation, I picture something closer to steampunk than the colorful craziness of the games. Something like that:

http://randommization.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Steampunk-mechanica...

Ah, you're right, the quirky cartoonish look is definetely what drew me to the game. The first impression I had was, "look, they made a cute multi-player RPG!" I confess I was a bit scared the first time I saw Snarbolax, LOL! But I still see it a fun, funny and quirky game. Life is already too serious for those creepy suspenseful games, IMO.