Time to sleep at the moment, will start tomorrow, sorry for the delay.
Trenny the Tortodrone; Sequel to Blue Skies Forever/second in a series. [Zettalux's Fanfic Contest; September.]
Sat, 08/27/2011 - 17:25
Mon, 08/29/2011 - 16:33
#2
Part Two.
The last of the search parties disappeared down the elevator.
And for the sixth time, Gransio frowned and said, "I don't know. The Tortodrone might be trying t-"
"Here's your reward for saying that a thousand times."
"Sarcasm, eh? I wish it didn't work so well on me."
"Are we going to join Trenny or not?"
"We might as well. It's been a long time since I fought the Growlmulus Twins."
Remilia stepped on the elevator. Firemetal, nicknamed Fire, followed and then Gransio. Blenny came last, as it seemed an obsession to do so, and, as Fire remarked to Sereon, he probably got it from Remilia.
"Okay....Tier 2...create party...invite only...friends and guildmates...."
-
For the second time that day, the Growlmulus Twins dropped into the abyss beneath the platform. The four knights walked towards the elevator.
"Trenny?" said Remilia.
Trenny peeked out from behind the elevator.
"Oh, hello," she said.
"Permit me to introduce myself; I am Gransio, the head of Spiral Knights."
"I'm Trenny," she said, in a more confident voice, albeit a little shaky.
"I've heard of you. Why are the Gremlins collecting strong creatures?"
"They say they plan to make a last stand, and avenge King Tinkinzar. Since the head of the Crimson Order died in the doom-battle, as they call it, the most ruthless Gremlin in the Order, let alone the whole Gremlin race, has been made head. His name is Lusten."
"Oh, the one who thought of the Roarmulus Twins, and afterwards the Growlmulus Twins?"
"Yes. Not only ordinary strong creatures. He plans to gain the other Great Ones' help."
"You mean bosses?"
"Yes....we call them Great Ones."
"Anything else?"
"Only that another pair of creatures similar to the Growlmulus Twins joined them."
"Gray instead of black?"
"Yes- why?"
Gransio looked at the others. He turned to Trenny.
"Do you think you can wait here for a short time alone again?"
"I think so, wh-"
"We may have traitors on our hands. We have to leave, and quickly."
"I don't see what we can do if they-"
"We can prepare against an attack."
"An attack?" Trenny was trying to make sense of the conversation.
"Tell you later. We have to go."
They ran to the elevator, pausing the least possible amount of time to open treasure boxes and break crystals.
-
They reached the Boss Houses, as they were called, and split up, each going into a seperate house. They came out with the same answer, all looking grim, Gransio most of all.
"They've gone," they said at the same time.
"Traitors. In Haven. This is the worst event tha-"
"Judging by my instincts, we have about 14 seconds to warn the guards."
Wed, 08/31/2011 - 16:00
#3
Part Three.
"Har!" A Gremlin swung his weapon, then snorted in pain as a Leviathan Blade cut him down.
"He didn't deserve to be cut down by this great blade," Gransio boasted as he pulled the sword out of the dead Gremlin, and picked up the loot dropped. He then turned to a stray jelly who was bobbing towards him.
"Oh well. Even the greatest swords must be put to low use," he said as he swung the sword at the jelly, who hardly responded.
"Yay, a Tier 3 creature, finally!"
Remilia rolled her eyes as she slashed it with a Barbarous Thorn Blade.
Blenny ran towards her. "How is the defense going?"
"Not so well. The guards-" she paused to slash at a Mecha Knight, "-are barely keeping most of them out. You'd best unsheath your sword and do some work."
Blenny nodded and hacked at a Silkwing who was, in the normal way, with a Lumber, and turned to face a Zombie.
The communicator on Gransio's belt beeped. He slid it out and continued fighting.
"I've found it!" shouted someone at the top of her voice. "Or rather, we found it."
Gransio held it as far away from himself as possible. "Squad name and digit?"
"Delta, number four."
"Okay. We're sending down a party." He clicked the end-communications button and turned to Remilia. "Take some people down."
"I can't come, I guess," said Blenny.
"You're doing quite well here," said Remilia.
Blenny brightened up at this, and started to slash his way towards a Trojan.
Remilia went off to find Fire and the others, fighting when needed.
-
Trenny fell over, an inch away from falling off the ramp. It was good, as she said herself, that she had a good sense of balance, or else she'd be loot by now.
"Almost there....yes!" Trenny stepped off the ramp, and moved towards the four Knights.
They were next to an enormous elevator, the very one Trenny had been talking about.
There was a thin ramp just before it, and Trenny could hardly fit on it. She had worked hard to get across it.
The five of them stepped onto the elevator, and shot up.
Up to where? Glancing above, Remilia saw no light.
Wed, 09/07/2011 - 17:29
#4
Part Four.
"Of course!" Remilia said. "The elevator in the abandoned workshop, where we discovered the materials needed for the Skylark's rebuilding."
Gransio walked in. "I was watching you over in section 5. The defense has been breached in several Havens, I need you four to go over and help out. I'll see about Trenny."
The four knights nodded and looked at the Haven lists, and jumped to the ones in which the defense had been breached.
Gransio turned to Trenny. "There's a part of this workshop that isn't being used for the Skylark. It's through the door just over there." He pointed to the left. "Also, if you can help with the Skylark, through that door ahead of you, we'd be grateful. We're almost finished, but there's a hard bit that we can't figure out."
Trenny started walking towards the Skylark door. "Hey- wait! They haven't been warned you're coming! They'll think you're an enemy!"
Trenny stopped. "Okay."
Gransio took out his communicator and contacted the rebuilders of the Skylark. After a few minutes he looked up at Trenny. "Alright," he said. "They need someone strong anyway, and a good brain, and I've heard Tortodrones have both." Trenny laughed and continued towards the Skylark door.
-
Remilia cut down a Giant Lichen Colony, and posted a new guard, having the other taken to Haven Healing House. She opened the Haven lists and joined Fire's one, as he needed help.
She smashed down a Toxilargo, and revived Fire, and switched to Section Five, as its defense had been breached.
There was ruin in Section Five, and all the people, including Blenny, were dead. Remilia revived Blenny, and together they forced Nova the former Wolver, and now known as Snarlbolaux, to return to the Clockworks for the time being, then revived the other people.
They collected at Haven 1. "All is well?" asked Sereon. An alarm beeped on Remilia's belt. "Seems not. I'll be right back."
She returned ten minutes later, with considerably less health than before. "Just a tangle with Lady Eriphsa, the Curse boss."
"She- she's here? We must be doomed now."
"She left. I think she went to gather Vanaduke and a few other creatures. That is our doom, unless we can lock the elevators, which, the Strangers assure us, is impossible."
Gransio emerged from the Workshop. "Trenny's done it," he said. "She's fixed the problem with the Skylark."
"So, it's completed?"
"I'm not sure, and she says that the slightest damage will destroy it. But we have no time now to run tests for the problem. We have to leave. Now." He turned to all who were gathered at Haven 1. "Find everyone you can, and return to the Workshop."
-
A little less than an hour passed, and everyone was there. Every Knight on Cradle and a few "traitor" creatures, traitor, that is, to their own kind, including Trenny, and a few other Tortodrones who had done the same as her.
"There are many doors, so as to use the least amount of time in getting in. We must now bo-" He broke off as a rush of Knights eager to get into the safety of the ship ran in. "As I was saying, you may now board," he said to a space empty except for some Knights and the creatures.
They got in, and after a moment, they felt a rumble. The ship was taking off.
-
Half an hour later, they were almost out of the atmosphere, when disaster fell.
Some well-aimed rockets and laser beams, spikes, Royal Jelly Minis, and fire-streams tore the side of the ship, and it toppled over, spiraling downwards.
Trenny slid out of the ship through the hole in the wall, clutching fantically, Remilia following her. For a moment they hung in the air, Remilia holding tightly onto Trenny's left forefoot, fearing the wind that might be their death, and then they fell, Remilia being forced to let go of the terrified Tortodrone, and shutting her eyes to put off the moment in which she would slam into the ground, and feel the pain only the dying, it seemed, could feel.
And then she felt it.
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Thank you for reading Trenny the Tortodrone. This story was created by EcoRTB666.
Please leave comments and critiscism below, and please notify me of any typos or spelling mistakes you find, so I can correct them.
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Tue, 10/18/2011 - 15:29
#5
A very nice read.
I myself am impressed, it's a good storyline, has a good theme throughtout it, and overall was executed rather well.
I have some critisicm, but its to help make the story better...
1. Some sections semed rather rushed, such as the the Skylark taking off only to be met with disaster, my suggestion would be to lengthen it a bit, take some time to read it over and add some details. Even the most minute of details can paint a picture, and with this picture we can invision this storyline. This is what makes reading enjoyable, we want to be able to envision what people put into words in our own ways.
2. While acurate to Spiral Knights, some things doesn't seem to fit too well. For example, being revived in a storyline should be something that is dramatic. When you have in there that you revived Blenny, it was rather sudden, as if nothing happened. In addition, you dramatized your character's own death so as to make it seem as if your character was more "important." The thing about this is that it contrasts to Blenny, he had a very simple major action, and you had a dramatic one. It would feel more rewarding to read if some of the actions whiched seem lesser were emphasized. Overall the whole invasion of Haven was rather rushed, which can be linked to #1.
Besides these two points, I thought you put some good effort into this storyline. I look forward to reading any other stories you may create in the future.
"Blenny, you're hopeless." Remiliaoftheearth "let out a deep sigh". She had found Blenny wandering around Haven trying to sell useless materials to get to Tier Two, and was training him, fearful that he could make mistakes such as the one that had crashed the Skylark.
"Not my fault," he replied, "I'm doing my best."
"I know." She sighed again. "But as soon as I correct one mistake, you make another."
Blenny scrambled out of the Shufflebot area to speak. The mistake of not doing so had already been corrected.
"I'm better than I was before."
"So you are," she admitted, "but you still make mistakes."
After a few minutes, she announced it was time to train in the Clockworks. Blenny had now reached Tier 2.
The four "bosses" now lived in Haven, as their subjects believed they were too soft, and had gotten rid of them.
A new wolver, the fiercest of the pack, evolved into a new Snarbolax, the Gremlins had built new Twins, this time the Growlmulus Twins, a cousin of the Jelly King had been made king, and the deity had found another, namely Lady Erifphsa (the name she was given when she became the new "undead" leader of Firestorm Citadel).
So delving went on as normal, with plain fighting and boss-fighting, and a new area of Haven was built for the former bosses. It was rather funny to see the Roarmulus Twins hopping on their turrets, which was the only means they had of getting around.
-
The Growlmulus Twins gave a death roar, though it sounded more like a growl.
"I did it!" shrieked Blenny. "I survived through the fight! I didn't die once!"
Remilia covered her ears. "Okay, so you survived. I still did most of the fighting."
"Whatever."
They walked to the treasure boxes.
"Did you hear something?" Remilia asked.
"No, I- Yes! I heard something."
"It's coming from over-"
"I saw something too!"
They slowly advanced towards the elevator, then jumped back as a huge creature emerged from the back.
"A Tortodrone!" whispered Blenny.
Remilia stepped forward. "What are you doing here?" She was surprised, because the fight was supposed to be finished, and Tortodrones don't appear in a boss fight - not even in a boss stratum, as far as she knew.
"Please help me!" the Tortodrone.
"What?"
"I'm being chased by the Crimson Order. They want to gather Tortodrones and all remaining strong creatures. Most of us went to their side, but a few of us escaped. We were seperated by traps to make catching us easier. By the way, my name's Trenthesla. Call me Trenny."
"I'm Blentor, known as Blenny."
"I'm Remiliaoftheearth. Nicknames for me are Rem, Remi, or Remilia."
"I say again, please help me!"
Remilia and Blenny looked at each other, and Remilia said "We would be happy to, if we can find a way to."
"I heard there's an old abandoned lift. It's huge. It's somewhere near the core, but there's no known gate for it."
"Hmm." Remilia thought for a minute, then said "We'll notify Spiral HQ and-"
"No! Don't!"
"They'll help. Tortodrones don't fight unless provoked, right? That would make them better in the eyes of Spiral Knights, and besides, if search parties are sent out, it'll be easier to find the elevator."
"Alright, just do it if you're sure it'll help."
"But first, let's find a hid-"
"They're coming!" she all but breathed, and disappeared behind the elevator with a carefully aimed rush "attack".
And Remilia and Blenny disappeared up the elevator.