Grimalkin ( short fanfiction)

I got bored so.. wrote a story
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his footsteps echoed in the dark of the halls as the murmers grew louder with each passing moment. His sword was rended from his hand he had ran, and they had chased him. As he turned the corner the black mass bubbled before him and he fell over himself running away. The screeches and groans emitted from that bubbling mass passed through his mind at every darkened corner, and every unlit hallway. As the knight rounded what seemed like the milllionth corner, he spotted the small ember on the pedistal. Greedily, he grabbed at it, throwing it at the hollow lamp sitting forelornely in the corner, and he basked in the warmth it provided. Smiling triumphantly, he turned and saw it watching him. Its great sunken eyes gazed deeply into him, through him, judging him for all he would be. As a cold sweat slowly crept up his spine, the thing opened its gaping maw, and let forth a moan of dark passage, detailing in no words the darkness of the world, the pure fear of the darkness that the world felt. and it waited. with the torch light keeping the beast at bay, the knight slept. and dreamed. He remembered his friends, he remembered their deaths. Azule first. pulled beneath the floor, eyes filled with fear staring out at them as she was pulled into the dark mass. Then Blaze. As it appeared, he rushed, ready to claim vengence for his fallen friend. and then, as his blade passed through, the thing opened its gaping, toothy mouth and he was gone. no much as a sound. Last Jin, running after the poor fate of Blaze, only a quick, final shriek ending her misery. and now him. only him. in the fading light. with it staring. waiting. it looked like it smiled at him. and he smiled back. and then darkness.
so anyway that was my first trip into Owlite academy, I think it went fairly well.

Wow... this is actually really good. Better than most Fanfics on here. why no comments?

I liked the part where there was a fanfic.

by the way, when can we expect an update on yours? I'm still waiting on those action figures I ordered.
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and Ferf, I dunno, I don't really consider myself that great of an author, I just put this up because I didn't want a thought to go to waste. Whether or not other knights care, I just put it up for my own amusement.

I'm still waiting for Valve to respond to my e-mail asking for a Duke Nukem Spiral Knights Mama Luigi Orson Welles Team Fortress 2 friends of Odin's Wrath cross promotion with Team Fortress 2.

with the whole "make your own nation" side project, I worry about the continued success of Duke Nukem Spiral Knights Mama Luigi Orson Welles Team Fortress 2 Friends of Odin's Wrath... you need to show Valve you mean business before they'll consider your cross promotion!
EDIT: I would consider making a full-fledged story based off of this, but I'd need support from others.

This is good, but I think it should be kept as a short story, it kind of gives off a poetic type feel to it.
keep your fanfiction in the offtopic forum.