Lockboxes are OverPowered. This needs a fix.

4 replies [Last post]
Xylka-Mkii's picture
Xylka-Mkii

We need a key to open it, instead of knocking the lid off with our weapons.

Dear Gremlins,

The knights of Cradle are of no threat to you! We only rage kill for locking boxes that we cannot figure out how to open!

Sincerly, a Spiral Knight

P.S Roarmulus Twins are defective, fun to kill, and require hours of maintenance.
Hurry up or you're fired!

Oh wait thats for my devilite co-worker.

this is a joke thread if you haven't found out already :3

Credit goes to the other forum posters for inspiring this.

/salute

~Xylka

Snorunt's picture
Snorunt
Dear SpiralKnights

"Ooh, a letter from the Gremlins!"

*opens letter*

Dear Spiralknights,

Are you really that stupid? We expected more of you. The point of our cleverly designed boxes is to get you to spend your energy unlocking them, rather than spending that energy on making your gear better!

By the way, those cat ears look absolutely silly on you.

Sincerely, The Gremlins.

P.S The Roarmulus Twins were a distraction. Can't you see they can go nowhere but that petty platform they fight with you on?
Opps. I wasn't supposed to write that. Opps, why am I writing what I am thinking?

Astrobug's picture
Astrobug
To whom it may concern

Kanyn-yn-yn-yk,

Alishka'nyl kanijka yiphilia id. Ishna'lida kamind a liph'd lok-bokz, id ik sky'phln kaynak.
Ilshinka'na id ny'phial sky'ik shinies.

Da'nishk, The Strangers.

Xairathan's picture
Xairathan
@Astrobug

I realize that's the phonetic pronounciation of stranger-speak (or so I think), but do you by any means speak Mando'a? It looks an awful lot like Mando'a. Just saying.

Starlinvf's picture
Starlinvf
The knights of Cradle are of

The knights of Cradle are of no threat to you! We only rage kill for locking boxes that we cannot figure out how to open!

Dear... whatever you things are,

Don't close a box if you can't remember how to open it. None the less, we recommend using high explosives since the Strangers stole all our keys.

Also, please stop breaking all our stuff. They barely work as is, and now Rivet and his team won't shut up about having to work triple overtime to keep fixing things across the planet. Also, I heard Punch and Vise moved into Haven. Don't let Vise touch your stuff. He breaks things as much as he fixes them, and they still haven't found Sproket's left foot from the last incident. Oh, and tell Vise he still owes me 50cr.

Sincerely,

Widget
Logistics Lead
Sector 57, Ring 23-36
Supply Division