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Marielle and the Love Puppy

6 replies [Last post]
Sat, 10/29/2011 - 13:58
Littlerbit's picture
Littlerbit

A.K.A Love Puppy Creation Story, Gun Puppy Creation Story and Spookat Creation Story.

This was the Kat's Revolution. The Mewkats enslaved to help with building machinery had finally revolted, and all major Gremlin outposts were under siege by the angry Mewkats. The current Gremilin king, Ardentola, had devised a turret, a Gun Puppy, that could hold off the Mewkats, now Spookats. All the Gremlin engineers got to work on these new guns at once. However, one Gremlin engineer's daughter, whose name was Marielle, didn't want to create war, but instead love. As Gremlin women were not allowed to be engineers, Marielle had to sneak down to her father's workshop late at night and work on her own creation, a Love Puppy. The Love Puppy would create a general aura of peace and happiness, which was Marielle's intention. After many days of secret work on her Love Puppy, Marielle had finished it. So, late at night, Marielle deployed her Love Puppy in the town square, and sent several others to deploy themselves elsewhere. When everybody had woken up the next morning, every single person in the outpost was happy and cheerful. Of course, no one but Marielle knew who had put the Love Puppy there. When King Ardentola heard of this, he thought he could use this to make peace with the Spookats, and band together to make an even more powerful kingdom. So, King Ardentola told Marielle to make another Love Puppy to deploy on the battlefield. So that's what Marielle did. However, a Gremlin rebel heard of this, and thought he could plant a bomb into the Love Puppy to blow up the entire Gremlin kingdom. When no one was in Marielle's workshop, the rebel snuck in and planted the bomb in the deployment box. When the time came to deploy the Love Puppy, the box was opened, and they found the bomb inside the box, one second before it exploded. Everyone around the box was killed, including the Spookats and the Gremlins. The Gremlin kingdom was buried in the rubble, and it wasn't until many years later, King Tinkizar rebuilt the Gremlin kingdom.

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 16:30
#1
Littlerbit's picture
Littlerbit
Bump

Bump

Mon, 10/31/2011 - 12:32
#2
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Ah...

The Legacy of the Lovepuppy. So THAT'S how they came around.

I suggest you paragraph it to make it easier to read. I dunno about you, but people find reading a large block of text kinda annoying, no offense.

I suggest you paragraph at each new idea. For instance, war, guns etcetc [Paragraph] Gremlin daughter. Workshop, making stuff, finish lovepuppy, [Paragraph] What Lovepuppy does.

^Like that. Or like what I'm doing throughout my post ><

That aside, nice story. Though it seems like a setup for a story. Do you plan to make a sequel?

It's good though, all things considered. Good job ^^

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 16:50
#3
Littlerbit's picture
Littlerbit
Thanks!

Thanks for the constructive criticism! I was actually thinking about expanding it into a full on story. I might get started soon...

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 22:24
#4
Psychorazer
Np

First: I am Psychodestroyer. I can't log on with it for some reason. It's a steam account.

Second.

I just came up with some random concept Idea for a story based on this.

Wanna hear? Its here if you want it.

Random person (knight or gremlin, it matters not which), notices something strange, or just wants the world to be more peaceful. He/she finds clues, which after a grueling quest with loss, hardship and much making of friends, he/she discovers the secret room where the secret of the Lovepuppy was kept. Marielle turns out to have become the goddess of the lovepuppy, and after some random event, the Lovepuppy's power is upped, and they appear everywhere or something or other.

I leave out the details so you have plain ideas to work with.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 16:00
#5
Littlerbit's picture
Littlerbit
Hm...

Thanks for giving me some ideas. I'll try to play around with them with the free time I get, and possibly have a full on story, or even a chronicle of Gremlin history.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 20:37
#6
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
No problem

Always happy to help out a fellow amateur fiction writer :)

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