I'll start with the story, from where I believe it all begins
My friend and I purchased Shadow Keys; if it's a one-time special we might as well, right? We get our other two friends on board for what we think will be an adventure and a challenge.
"What, there's some lag? Nothing we haven't dealt with before!" "I haven't had much lag with this game, we might be alright." "This should be tricky, tricky but fun!" "Besides, it's just Snarby with poison"; all thoughts going through our minds as we start our journey down. We reach the Shadow Lair Hub, and after a minute or so, I promise my friend that I'll put a key in the IQ gate.
We aren't quite surprised by what we first see; everything has a pinkish glow to it, there are wolvers scattered here and there with the occasional lumber. But what happens is a bit of a wake-up call. The lumber smashes my Grey Owlite Shield, landing a harsh poison and stun on me, with one attack. Err, right. Watch out for those; not so tough. Howlitzers sprout up. A little out of place, right? Ignoring my Divine Veil and +21 vitapod, a single bullet knocks an estimable half my health. Or perhaps it was one of those rotating bullets that Snarby installed thanks to the recommendations of Bowser. Is that where the insanity comes into play? I think I've missed it otherwise.
Oh but no, no no no. That's just the beginning. The lag kicks in.
"So I'm in spikes now?" "Woah, where did he come from?" "Why am I on the other side of the screen and then back again?" "Where'd my shield go!" By the first floor I've acknowledged that I must have missed a memo. The FSC is probably being fumigated. Zombies bumping zombies with Lumbers wading through the crowd, Howlitzers firing off from odd corners, and the occasional dreaded yellow aura of an Alpha Wolver about to smash you into a corner. Oh, and there's a Snarby that you can't kill and are also supposed to keep track of. I mean, you know when random spikes are going to shoot at you from any end of the fields right? Oh, and Alpha Wolver right behind you.
The Energy costs have scaled out of control by this point, but that's obviously the name of the game for OOO. 1500 CE plus elevators wasn't enough, oh no.
After an insane battle in floor two iirc, with the exciting choice of pretending that your shield can take an alpha wolver, or a block of spikes with a bunch of zombies and a lumber closing in from that direction. And every other direction too. We truck on through, barely getting through a section with zombies, kats, and lumbers. Nice to know that this is where Kats will get to shine; out of place.
We might not have made it if we hadn't met a Love Puppy. We were shocked to get to the boss floor. Shocked, exhausted, and burning out of CE. The boss, or should I say, bosses, is the end of us. The Swarm is hard to control with spikes flying here and there, and long chains of attacks from the Snarbi, at least double the bites of an Alpha Wolver. The cost is deemed too high, and we all hover around awkwardly acknowledging that the butterflies are healing them up and undoing our work as we speak.
A few tips for Shadow Lairs
-Your armor, shield, everything, it probably doesn't matter. There's enough stuff to kill you if you're prepared or not.
-Cruel to first timers, and a bit expensive for second tries.
-I hope you can fight at close quarters and see through herds, hoards, auras, and other particle effects.
My words to OOO
Eurydice, I hope there is enough evidence abound for you to take into consideration how unhappy everyone is with the current state of things. OOO, stop denying the problems on the game's end and fix them; otherwise this is a complete scam to everyone who doesn't own a supercomputer.
Answering predictable comments from other players
"No one made you run a Shadow Lair"
No, you're right. I'll go back to farming T2 and T3 like players have been doing for at least half a year like a good little, mockable, casual drone. I'm sorry for trying something new and looking at the content I've been given.
Can't think of any others really, but I can see that comment coming from a mile away.
your very VERY late to the shadow lair rage party