Spiral Knights - underestimated

underestimated

26 replies [Last post]

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 22:08

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

I have decided to start my own Fan-Fic
Later on i will ask for characters, names, and cheesy pick-up lines(don't ask, just wait and see), but right now i'm just going to deveelop the main character.

Prologue: "What do you mean he will make a good knight? He's thirteen years old!"
"He is quite good at bombing, though, a prodigy I might say."
"Prodigy or not, he wouldn't fit in with the rest of the trainees, it's all eighteen and up"
"Please trust me, he HAS to be recruited, PLEASE!"
"Oh well, alright, but he's YOUR responsibility."
"I understand."

Chapter 1
It's amazing. Never underestimate how convincing a nitronome in the bedroom can be. I'll finally be a knight. He thought of this as he walked into Alek's house. "Hey Alek! I'll be a knight soon." He shouted to the merchant.
"I guess you won't be doing us favors anymore" The stranger replied.
"I hope not. I really want to put that part of my life behind me. I am starting to regret my actions you know."
"Hmmph, and to think we raised you to have morals. Who found you in the middle of the bazaar one night, and took you home?"
"You did..." It was true, the boy was an orphan, raised by the strangers as one of their own, even though he belonged with the other members of the spiral.
"Still, I feel bad and I hope that maybe I can make up for what I did if I work for the Order."

I know the chapter is short but the next part has to be its own chapter. If you ever think I am not giving very much information on the character, trust me, it is on purpose. I hope you like this so far 0:-)

Tue, 11/01/2011 - 23:32

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

Students

Okay, I need some knight trainees.
this is the character sheet

Name
Equipment/battle style
personality
other

(for now i picked everything else out already, mua ha ha ha)

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 13:26

Windsickle

You're adding characters?

You're hiring/adding characters? What's your protagonist's name?

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 13:39

Valorai

Name: Blue ( Just like the

Name: Blue ( Just like the name I put in whenever I apply for fanfics lol)
Equipment/battle style: Ash tail coat, ash tail cap, heavy plate shield. Always rushes in when allies need assiastance, also doesn't think when she rushes, so she is easily trapped, and tricked.
Personality: Caring, helpful, listens to her friends.

Other: Gender: Girl

Also, I would like Blue to have a crush on one of the other trainees. :D

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 17:04

Windsickle

Oh that's how?

Name: Riefs

Equipment: Blazebreak Armor, Blazebreak Helm, Swiftstrike Buckler, Blazebrand, Fiery Pepperbox, Flamberge

Battle Style: Fire equipment (obviously), leaning towards swordsman, charges and rushes foolishly into packs of enemies, rarely shields, very fierce and fast, willing to take damage if he can take down others with him.

Personality: Generally agreeable and nice person. Nearly fearless and actually enthusiastic to take one for the team. Actually quite intelligent with a talent for tactics but he completely disregards it along with any common sense, probably won't find it until he's an old geezer with nothing better to do. Has a heart for those who are teased and bullied. Tries to treat everyone equally but actually has more respect for the creatures of the Clockworks than his fellow knights due to how he's treated himself. Very independent.

Gender: Male

Color: Red

Small Biography: Follows an ancient tradition of a small family of knights in which the retired would pass down their equipment to their heirs, equipment which happened to be those that Fiers has inherited. He lost a lot of equipment to gambling including a Drake Scale Helm, a Magma Driver, and a variety of other fire-style equipment though he has now quit gambling because he's horrible at it and lost so much. He now reluctantly wears a Blazebreak Helm to follow the creed but is constantly mistaken for a female knight. Explaining that he's male only lead to teasing, bullying, and fights which have resulted in him spending the majority of his time stewing in corners by himself working out, reading "Do-it-yourself" books, playing online fantasy games, reading novels, and earning enough Crowns to get a Drake Scale set.

Other: Is currently only interested in proving who he is and helping those who are oppressed similarly; he doesn't really care about anything else. Helped start a club for Clockworks creatures and knights alike who are sick of being judged and bullied. Prefers environments where he can be himself.

EDIT: Changing Bio. and Equipment due to new art update. It used to be that he had a Firebreak Helm but wanted a Blazebreak Helm because the Blazebreak Helm had similar art as the Circuit/Volt/Surge Breaker Helms series.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 17:34

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

Character

Okay, for now I need two more characters, an antagonist. He will be zephyr's enemy/ rival, so make this one good. Also I will need a professional knight to teach the class. Make sure you give me some good stuff to work with, as the class will soon be taking a field trip. which I hope to fill with jokes. I'm depending on you guys! Also I can't start chapter three without either of those guys. If you have already made a character, you can still make another. But first make sure I actually need characters. I do not want any unless I ask for them. If someone else has already made the antagonist, you may make a character to be in his 'posse' all though that is optional. Also optional is more students but only three more students (not including the bully and friends).

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 20:18

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

Chapter 2

First day of knight school.

I can't wait! he thought as he went to class. He saw a teenager in the corner reading. He decided to have some fun.
"Oh! I love that book, but I wish the main character didn't have to die in the end." He said to the teen.
"Really? He dies?"
"Yup" Zephyr replied
"Aww... based off he title I thought it was going to have a happier ending" The teen whined.
"Really? What is it called again? I forget."
"It's called The History of Blast Bombs and How to Craft Them,"
"Oh..."
"Yeah, don't lie to me again, ever. By the way, name's Riefs, and aren't you a little young to be a knight?"
"No, I'm not, and my name is Zephyr"
"Well I like you Zephyr, If anyone ever bothers you, I can help."
"Don't worry, I don't need help"
"Are you sure? Your'e so little and weak..."
By then Zephyr had his ascended calibur up against the guy's neck, "I...Don't...Need...Help..." He muttered
"Okay Okay, you don't need help, so let's be friends"
"Okay"
At that moment an annoyingly cheerful and positive looking girl strode up "Hi, I'm Blue, and you are?" She asked, smiling the whole time.
"I'm Riefs, and this is my friend Zephyr"
"Isn't Riefs a guy name?" she asked
"Yeah, well, I am a guy," He said, taking off his helmet.
"Why won't you stop asking questions?" Zephyr asked.
"Why are you being so rude?" She replied.
Riefs, for the second time that day, used his trick for getting out of awkward situations, "So do you wanna be buddies with us? The more the merrier."
"Sure, I guess"
"Riefs, don't speak for me," Zephyr said
"So you don't want to be mt friend?" she sniffled, while somehow still smiling, almost as if she was faking the tears.
"No, no, of course I would like to be fiends with you."
"Well then, I guess that settles that," she said.

I just thought I would say, If it says soeone's name at the start of the chapter, it is in their perspective, but if there is no name, it is by the narrator, as the first two chapters have been. I appreciate feedback and will try to make this story funny. I will also try to post something every one or two days, so If it has taken so long that you plan on asking me when I post my next chapter, I am probably about to, so there is no point in asking. The only reason I might not work on it is that I need more characters, and i will say when I don't need any more.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 19:28

Doggies

I will be the teacher

Name: Doggies
Final flourish, ascended caliber, heavy decon, Snarlbolax armor, royal jelly shield.
Friendly, pro at fighting, calm and collected, expert strategist, loves using his final flourish above all other weapons.
Gender: male
Other: has toasty bombs on his armor that actually function as hand grenades that cause fire status A.K.A. Throwable firecrackers.
They aren't actual weapons more of a distraction of sorts.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 20:46

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

doggies

you want to be the expert/teacher, right?
please answer by editing your post to add that. Don't make a new comment

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 21:10

Nechrome

I'll be the guys rivalName:

I'll be the guys rival

Name: Necro

Gender: Male

Equipment/battle style: Has Khorovod, Jalovec, Blast Bomb (soon to be super blast bomb so just give him a super), cobalt helm, cobalt armor, magic hood, shockburst brandish, bristling buckler, noobie stuff that he likes to wear as a costume, shocking, checkered, azure, and spiral bombhead masks. his fighting style is basically to just charge in and smash everything with his heavy sword charges, and then use his bombs if he's being chased by a horde of monsters and has very little health that he cant afford to go melee. Thinks most guns are weak, fail. But enjoys Pulsar line.

personality: a very hard worker, powerful fighter. he doesn't understand why others hate the Troika line and Fiends, as he finds them both interesting and awesome. ALso enjoys smishing Zombies into dust. can be sarcastic at times, and has a lot of pickup lines.

Pickup lines:

random guy: what's up?
me: the sky

Random guy: what's your problem?!
me: you

random guy: age before beauty
me: pearls before swine *then goes first*

me: says [insert words here] to a random guy
random guy: that's [insert words here] sir !
me: why thank you! but I don't think that the sir was necessary.

and so on and so forth. stuff like that

colors: green with red

other: loves fiends, has a tamed yet dangerous pet greaver (a mixed breed of the Ruby greaver and the greaver that can cause shock status), likes explosions. He is decended from the commander of the Almirian Crusader, which means that he is not a real Spiral Knight (gasp!) and why he has such rpo fighting skills. He is intersted in anything abbout Almire and the Crusaders, and often is seen reading books about them, and looks down at anyone who like doing Vanaduke runs.

this is like the 10th fanfic i have a character in (not including my stories). derp.

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 22:46

#10

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

Necro

Two things, one, i like your fanfics, two, i have enough pickup lines for now and also i don't really get yours. I think I can right one or two more chapters bfore I need a new male student. You hear that people! I am planning my fanfic ahead of time! I am forcing you to be a part of it! Please contribute as I am impatient. (I mean the last part to everyone, not just necro) My next chapter should be done tomorrow afternoon, although I may not be able to post for a while after that as my uncle is getting married this weekend

Wed, 11/02/2011 - 23:58

#11

Za-Ck

I guess I'll be the next student

Name: Zack

Gender: Male

Color: Ultramarine Blue

Equipment:
Angelic Helm and Raiment, Horned Owlite Shield, Voltech Alchemer MK II, Antigua, Vile Striker, Iceburst Brandish, Graviton Charge

Battle Style:
Cautious and calculating. He prefers to wait for opportunities to strike quickly and retreat before the enemy can attack. However, he will not hesitate to charge headfirst into a battle for a fallen ally or if the last standing. He also is the guy that tends to sacrifice his health for the team, acting as a "pseudo-medic" at times to help up fallen teammates. He prefers to fight with his sword, but isn't bad with a gun either.

personality:
Cool and calm most of the time, and a bit on the quiet side. However, he is friendly enough and is glad to chat if someone wants to. He is also very loyal to people he knows, and will stand up for them when they need it. He is also a bit of a bleeding heart; he likes to give crowns and such to less fortunate or less experienced recruits to give them a bit of a boost. He has a small fascination with Constructs and machinery, and tinkers with them a bit from time to time.

other:
He is secretly tampering with and modifying official Spiral Order weaponry (Blaster, Alchemers, Caliburs, etc) in an effort to make them more powerful/useful. The results can be surprisingly effective... and unstable. His most recent project is a common Blaster that had been modified with various attachments to it. It has tremendous power, but the recoil could very well leave one embedded in a wall. Not to mention it smokes and sparks dangerously every now and again. He carries this with him secretly, but will only use it in dire emergencies.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 21:41

#12

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

Chapter 3

BLUE
So when I got to class I saw this little kid(don't tell him I said that) talking to Riefs, whom I have had a crush on forever. I went over there and teased him, playing dumb, and he actually asked me to be is friend! Isn't that great? Well after that class started and this is how things went.

"Okay class, aise your hand if you know how to fight," The teacher said, and we all raised our hands. "None of you know how to fight. OK? Now raise your hand if you think you can fight," We all put our hands down, but then noticed that Zephyr had hi hand up, the teacher noticed soon afterward.

Some tall, red-haired, just plain out evil-yet-somehow-not-mean kid raised his hand. "Yes Necro?" The teacher said.
"Why is there some little kid in our class?"
"Good question, I have no idea,"
That's when I decided to try answering, "He's a trainee, just like the rest of us!" Everyone laughed.
That's when Zephyr jumped on his desk, called the class some things that I should not repeat to my worst enemy, then grumbled something in a foreign language, threw a shiverburst at the ground, said never to underestimate him, and stormed out. We all spent the day recovering, partially because of the bomb, but mostly because of the words-that-should-not-be-said. After school that say Riefs walked up to me(can you believe it?) and said he recognized the foreign language we heard Zephyr cursing in. He said it is the one the strangers use when talking to each other. I thought that was a little strange, I mean, how would he know that language, but still, Riefs talked to me!

Chapter 4
The next day Zephyr went to class as if nothing happened everyone but his two friends and one other boy looked at him in fear. The not-scared boy looked at him in awe. That boy walked up to him and said, "Hey, I'm Zack, So you're into bombs? That's awesome, me too, well actually I like everything, here can I see that?" He then grabbed Zephyr's nitronome right out of his hand. He turned around and for a few minutes you could hear strange clinking and whirring sounds. When Zack turned around he said, "Here you go, your bomb should now have a radius exactly 1.23749967458321880 times as large as it used to be."
Zephyr was shocked, and the boy prattled on about mechanics and weapons and so on. When Riefs came up, he heard what Zack was talking about and immediately joined in the no-two-sided-although-it-was-only-one-sided-before conversation. Then Necro walked up and teased Zephyr, "Aw... you're so cute and little, little Zephy-wephy, did you get lost on the way to kindergarten?"
"You do realize I'm thirteen years old, right?"
"Quit making fun of him" asked Riefs
"Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it? You're all talk."
"Actions speak louder than words" Said Zack, as he pressed his Voltech Alchemer MK II against the back of Necro's head.
"Fine, I'll leave you alone, but mark my words, this isn't over."
"I'm shaking in my shoes at the very thought," Zephyr said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He would have sworn he heard a girl giggling behind him.

BTW I know the chapters are all really short, but thats because it is either the end of a scene or change in perspective, I still need a few more characters: Posse for bully and 2 more students, 1 boy and 1 girl preferably

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 18:42

#13

Nechrome

"Posse for bully and 2 more

"Posse for bully and 2 more students, 1 boy and 1 girl preferably"

I'm a bully? I thought I was just the guy's rival enemy. Meh, whatever. It's your story.

"Some tall, red-haired, just plain out evil-yet-somehow-not-mean kid raised his hand"

I have hair?

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 19:16

#14

Daiq

Hi Zephyr! Looks awesome so far :D, keep up the good work!

If you want, you can go ahead and add me to it.

Name: Daiquiri

Gender: F

Color: Razmatazz.

Equipment:
Pink proto pigtails, angelic rainment, Nova driver, Umbra driver, Callahan/Blitz?

Battle Style:
Gunner. :D. Enjoys staying back and shooting charges for the alchemer ricochets.

personality:
Fun-loving and risky. Loves to be that one insane person that is willing to dive behind a huge cluster of zombies and shoot them, to draw aggro away from the main party. Doesn't really care about dying, and probably is a little too nonchalant/playful about training. Does not take bullies/tough guys seriously. Enjoys hating on polaris users, and is not afraid of a good fight.

other:
Really. Hates. Shock. Otherwise, is probably too happy/nice for her own good. :D

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 20:20

#15

Windsickle

School

So a knight school huh? Are they like, rookies in a Rescue Camp training school? Or are they veterans attending some sort of advanced establishment in the Haven?
@Lordofnecromancers: I'm sure there will be character development. Especially in the midst of action-packed, emotionally traumatic battle scenes against true evils. As for hair, you said red and green.

Thu, 11/03/2011 - 21:42

#16

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

@windsickle

I couldn't have said it any better, also, where do you think knights go before they become knights? If there is an advanced training center then surely there must be a beginner training center, right?
@necro Don't worry, he won't become a bully for at least two months, I promise! And u werent supposed to know that, it was a fraudian slip that gave away a big part of the story. But yes, i was planned as part of the character development, but still, you shouldn't be upset because in your own, your an evil dictator/ tyrant, so you have no right to complain.
@Daiquiri no offense, but what the heck is razmatazz? if i already asked you in game, you don't have to answer this.

Fri, 11/04/2011 - 18:06

#17

Nechrome

"@Lordofnecromancers: I'm

"@Lordofnecromancers: I'm sure there will be character development. Especially in the midst of action-packed, emotionally traumatic battle scenes against true evils. As for hair, you said red and green."

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

i thought that was for armor colorz...

o well. I don't mind red/green hair. =D

Sun, 11/06/2011 - 07:30

#18

Duskfinder

augh im late :'(

Name: Dusk
Gender: Male
Color: crimson
Gear: Divine veil , grey owlite sheild, grey feather mantle , acheron , volt driver , bolt brand , daring rigadoon , plasma capacitator
Personality: nice , friendly
Other: rich , expert fighter ( graduated trainee school)

Mon, 11/07/2011 - 16:52

#19

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

@duskfinder

good news, ur not late

Bad news@ everyone who reads this, He is not late because I haven't even started the next chapter plus anybody who wants to submit a character can as long as I need one. I still need some characters but duskfinders is not one of them, so when i need one like duskfinder's i will just use his.

Mon, 11/07/2011 - 20:55

#20

Doggies

Hmmm

Maybe Dusk can he my assitent teacher or intern kinda think were collage students come I to your class and watch so they become teachers, maybe Dusk could be like that and then you can fit him in.

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 06:39

#21

Duskfinder

:'C

Wed, 11/09/2011 - 18:17

#22

Travid

i'll be another student

name: Travid
gender: male
equipment: dusker coat, elemental hood, tempered calibur, sealed sword, blast bomb
battle style: hack-shield-hack-random bomb behind you-shield
personality: nice and friendly

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 15:50

#23

Zephyr-Ww-Ww

great ideas guys

thanx for the suggestions, and I actually lost the entire chapter I had been working on, (nervous laugh), and have to start over for the third time. From now on I will write it in microsoft word and copy and paste. Expect it by this weekend, maybe sooner because i am stuck at home sick today

Wed, 11/16/2011 - 21:27

#24

Windsickle

...

What happened Zephyr? Is everything alright? We've been waiting so long.

Sun, 11/20/2011 - 07:11

#25

Travid

where

where's the new chapter?! did something happen to your computer?

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 17:00

#26

Windsickle

Well with the new art update

Well with the new art update I guess I'll have to change ol' Riefs. By the way, where have you been Zephyr-Ww-Ww? Is this thread practically dead now (well not anymore of course after me posting this)?

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