In the beggining there was nothing...except Boswick
There once was life on Mars, then Boswick sneezed in its direction
Boswick has seen the inside of a black hole
Boswick Facts.
Tue, 12/06/2011 - 15:52
#52
In the beggining there was
Tue, 12/06/2011 - 17:58
#53
What Dark Ritual?™
Boswick doesn't play guitar with his feet like the guy with no arms, Boswick plays guitar with his ears.
The reason there's no free-for-all PVP in SK is because Boswick hates being alone.
Gun Puppies turn to Love Puppys when Boswick is around.
You know the Impost-a-cube? It's hiding from Boswick.
The Snarbolax turned rabid because he sneezed on her.(Yes Snarby is a she)
The Unknown Passage? Boswick's dreamland.
There is NO Grim Reaper, just Boswick in his Halloween costume. The reason he kills people is because they stare at him too long and melt.
.50 cal Chainguns ain't got nothing on Boswicks autogun.
The antigua damage change in the future is because Boswick wil have thought of it the day before tommorrow, and it will come to be yesterday.
Boswick made the Divine Avenger, and nicknamed it DA. DeviantArt copied his abbreviation.
Boswick places spheres in Minecraft.
Boswick know for certain that the meaning of life is 43.
Boswick takes photos with white-out.
We are really Boswick's avatar on the game of Life.
Like them?
One more,
The apple that landed on Isaac Newton's head was thrown by Boswick because he felt it wasn't worthy enough to be eaten. It never was.
Tue, 12/06/2011 - 18:37
#54
What Dark Ritual?
Just one for now:When Dorthy threw water on Boswick she melted
Tue, 12/06/2011 - 18:37
#55
^_^
Boswick bowls overhand. < this is the only plagiary Ill commit you noobs
Boswick doesn't have a mist tank, after all would you pay for something you owned?
Boswick once tried to heat a calibur. He ended up with a Divine avenger and a Gran Faust.
Boswick would use trinkets if they weren't all negative effects.
Boswick laughs at the Kathat, he prefers his Grimalkin Cloak
Boswick Stopped using the lift after he put his mist energy in and ended up In the core. Either way he prefers just jumping of the sides and landing where he wants to.
Boswick's favorite Boss fight is The Queen Jelly. Not because shes in the shadow lairs or difficult to kill, no, its because shes makes a great bean-bag chair and keeps his soda cold.
Boswick would fight Vanaduke again, but you've seen what happened after the first 2 times. Vana just keeps sinking deeper and deeper into depression and Boswick doesn't think he can take much more.
Boswicks Gaurd Dogs used to be the Roarmulus twins and their shadow lair brothers, but he found his kickin boots do a better job.
Thu, 12/08/2011 - 19:16
#56
...
Boswick heals Love Puppies.
Boswick takes a spoon to the Royal Jelly boss battle.
Boswick uses SpiralSpy when taking on Vanaduke and Roarmulus Twins at the same time.
Boswick prefers WickedBoss
Boswick already killed the Devilite CEO.
Boswick once threw Heavy-Duty in the Graveyard Thread.
Phantoms don't die because Boswick waits at their aftergraves.
Boswick IS Alpha Squad, they just don't know it yet.
Boswick's trinkets glow.
Boswick already has Aura automatically.
Lockboxes are broken open by Boswick. He doesn't need keys. Same for gates, and the faces on the monster gates turn sad when he comes by...
Boswick uses the Ice Queen as a cooling pad, not for him, but for the unlimited times Vanaduke keeps getting crushed.
Sprites come to Boswick.
Stun makes Boswick faster, freeze makes Boswick unstoppable, fire lets Boswick share the love, and shock reduces lag for Boswick.
When Boswick plays Blast Network, he bankrupts Krogmo.
Retrodes keep in their sneeze when Boswick is nearby.
Thwackers throw Health Capsules at Boswick.
All Suggestions go through Boswick. Ones that fail on him don't enter the game. Snarbolax Coat was just lucky, and Boswick liked it.
Boswick put "Spiral Knights" in his application and got free entry into Harvard.
Boswick finds Mist Energy in the shower and Crystal Energy in his soap.
Boswick's crowns are Diamond.
Fri, 12/09/2011 - 06:49
#57
Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boswick won a bet against Vanaduke that the loser would have to burn his kingdom and himself. The end Result was FSC.
Sonic is the fastest thing alive? Hah! Comedy! Boswick moves at the speed of light!
No copyright law in the world will stob Boswick!
The Owlites don't appear in game because Boswick stole their magic and souls.
Kano stole Boswick's heart rip fatality. Boswick went into Kano's warehouse and came out with half of Kano's face.
JG Quintel is Boswick's alter ego.
Knives are made in the likeness and material of Boswick's finger and toenails.
When Boswick hangs someone, they don't sufforcate, THEY SPONTANIOUSLY COMBUST!!
Boswick doesn't use weapons, he uses his bare hands in garderning gloves.
Boswick's spit are NINJAS
Boswick is the lead singer of Crush 40
Boswick doesn't drink. He asorbs it via aquakinesis
Boswick's tears are made out of Tearium. He doesn't cry that much.
Boswick's eyes are sentitve to n00bs!
Boswick can dual wield ingame.
Boswick has his own steeds. 9 to be exact.
Boswick has every weapon ingame and ones that have been removed.
Pit bosses work for Boswick. There are Pit Boss overtimers.
Boswick killed Cable in Second Coming because his power was almost as high as Boswick
Boswick composed Guile's theme. That's why it fits with everything
Vog Clubs were hunted to exinction by Boswick
Boswick can smash his hand through 15 double glazed windows with out bleeding. He then tried the same with 15 sheets of titanium. After bleeding, the sheets went home with alot of their blood lost.
Stan Lee is Boswick child.
He can rip two arms off while holding their fingers.
Boswick forged the blades of Chaos by forging his tears and blood.
Chuck Norris is Boswick's father.
Boswick controls the forces of nature.
Pym Particles are boswick's eye crusts.
Tattoos are Boswick's Blood. They turn black because they turn into permanment acid once in the air.
Boswick can see everything. He knows you touch yourself.
Boswick uses a level 5 HEAT blast revive without dying.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now give me three cookies!!
Fri, 12/09/2011 - 07:27
#58
Boswick fought Jackie Chan,
Boswick fought Jackie Chan, Jackie Chan ran away screaming after he saw Boswick's face.
Fri, 12/09/2011 - 16:25
#59
...
@Atrum/Dama
Must be completely linked to Spiral Knights. Boswick's name doesn't count, because he created Spiral Knights before it even existed. Therefore, Spiral Knights was copied. O_O
Fri, 12/09/2011 - 16:46
#60
Shenanigans?
On Christmas Eve Jesus was born... or at least that's what Boswick remembers
Halloween started because Boswick had some heads on stakes in his yard, his neighbors thought he was setting up decorations
St. Partrick's day is about a leprechaun and all that Irish stuff, yadah yadah, and if you find Boswick's pot of gold on that day he'll give you three wishes.
Valentines started when Boswick scoured the globe asking every girl if they'd be his valentine, he was too tired to hear them say yes so he kept going. It wasn't until he got home that he noticed they all followed him.
Uncle Sam was Boswick in disguise
Fri, 12/09/2011 - 17:04
#61
@Heavy-Duty
Boswick kills anyone who criticzises Boswick Facts, both ingame and real life. You better watch your back Heavy.
Fri, 12/09/2011 - 18:53
#62
...
@Atrumvindex
Boswick also kills people who make threats that people make for him. (Paradox alert)
Fri, 12/09/2011 - 20:50
#63
Guns don't kill people.
Guns don't kill people. Boswick kills people.
Boswick's HUD has no danger indicator, because it would never get used.
Boswick cannot play Lockdown because all of his loadouts are tier 4.
Boswick's Divine Avenger can curse enemies.
When Boswick gets 'cursed' by his Gran Faust, he gains life. He's just that awesome.
Sun, 12/11/2011 - 07:14
#64
Boswick doesn't rely on
Boswick doesn't rely on souls. Souls rely on boswick.
Boswick has the fish set gathering dust in his closet.
Boswick has a Love Puppy and Trojan Armour
Boswick uses Trojans as his horses.
Boswick has Gauntlets that shoot all effects and creates bombs. He calls them 'Gardening Gloves'.
When Grimlakins look at Boswick, they turn into Mewkats.
Boswick used the Falcin punch at the swarm, Cradle was destroyed. That's why the preview event ended.
Boswick hates Paradoxes. The last time someone done this, they were hanging on a noose on the AH.
Thu, 12/15/2011 - 16:19
#65
Boswick can kill a phantom
Boswick can kill a phantom permanently twice
boswick's bush burns trollsters, not the other way around
Jim-Dale is Boswicks 3rd great great great grand nephew (MAN! I JUST BLEW THE SECRET!)
GodofSkype1 hated SK, Boswick made him leave
the roarmoleus twins used to have legs, them boswick turn them into arms
spiral knight scouts didn't find IMF, boswick found it by blinking
the zombie doorman in moorcraft used to say bad things about boswick... he never talked again
Polyps are Cherim's tears from fighting with his twin, Boswick
Boswick made lordofnecromacers evil.
Boswick visited pluto, pluto is not a planet anymore now
Boswick can make all spookats mewkats, jellies impostocubes, and gun puppies love puppies
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 13:39
#66
I am a carrot
Boswick is the one who caused Titanic to sink
Boswick is the one who destroyed the Aztec empire
Boswick goes to the live sea, thats why its called the "Dead Sea" now
Boswick can make a lumber into a toothpick with a single snap of one finger!
Vanaduke isn't actually weak to piercing, Boswick makes him do weak to piercing!
6vs6 Lockdown battle, 5 person abandoned Boswick, Boswick wins.
Boswick doesn't need fire resist, fire resist HIM!
Boswick can make spookats turns into spooked-kats
King Krogmo doesn't need bribing when Boswick arounds
Bombs doesn't explode, because Boswick was there
Final Flourish doesn't kill Trojans, Boswick's blink kills them
Boswick doesn't have food to eat for 20 years, Eat 200 burned oilers for breakfast, 300 slag guards for lunch, 400 shadow fire for dinner
Why you need weapons when Boswick is around?
Boswick didn't do anything to Darkfire Vanaduke, YET.. Vanaduke dies
2000 division of lumbers and menders? Boswick can kill them with just one proto sword and no shield
Doesn't have sugar for pancakes, goes to the store and buy one for FREE!
Running out of bacon, grows a pig farm for daily uses
Help help! My cat is stuck at that 5000m km height beanstalk, only tooks 0.00000000000000000000.01 miliseconds for Boswick to get there
Poptart cats? Why not Waffle Spookats?
Boswick doesn't need metabolism, metabolism needs him!
P.S: I'm sorry...
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 17:58
#67
...
Impostoclaus doesn't hand out Christmas Gifts because Boswick took 'em all.
It's only snowing in Haven because Boswick left his refrigerator open.
Boswick's first weapon was the Leviathan Blade.
Boswick's suggestions come true.
Boswick's Divine Stranger Hat matches his Vog and has three Snipes on it, ghost of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.
Boswick founded the Explorer's Pack.
Boswick found the Gold Drones' weak spots.
Boswick used a Protosword to crack open a Trojan's shield.
A normal Drone always has a weak spot for Boswick.
Boswick makes Drones run away.
Featured Auctions are stuff Boswick's throwing away. OOO's just taxing it.
Krogmo bribes when Boswick's around.
Boswick might be the next boss.
Mon, 01/09/2012 - 18:55
#68
bump!
bump ^_^
Mon, 01/09/2012 - 19:57
#69
...
Boswick doesn't bump his own threads. He gets others to do so.
SEGA owns OOO, but Boswick owns SEGA.
The FSC's Flame Wheels were Boswick's old spare tires for his tricycle.
Boswick had an Impostocube spawn instead of the Jelly King.
Boswick put all the walls down in Ironclaw Boss Battle on his first try.
Boswick made ALL the Santy Hats.
Boswick's Event HUB always shows TAKE OVER THE WORLD, but he's having too much fun with slaughtering anyone right now.
FROSTBITE arena is Boswick's freezer.
Boswick wears his Crowns.
The Wiki is all we know about Boswick's past.
Retrodes were nerfed because one sneezed in Boswick's face, so now they have to check that they aren't sneezing on him anymore.
Zombies and Retrodes now walk slower to make sure Boswick can't hear them.
Boswick ridiculed Menders for wrench thwacking.
Boswick almost fired the Devilite CEO.
Tue, 01/10/2012 - 04:17
#70
My turn!
Boswick created the Allspark.
Boswick plays Spiral Knights on a Gameboy.
Boswick uses the U.S.S Enterprise as a lawnmower.
Nobody can find Atlantis because It's on display on Boswick's bookshelf.
Tue, 01/10/2012 - 08:47
#71
Boswick
When a lockdown game started, Boswick just type ''/sit'' and won the match.
Boswick can buy something from the Auction House instantly which don't have a buyout price.
Boswick owns a prismatic rose regalia set.
Tue, 01/10/2012 - 19:21
#72
"Boswick made
"Boswick made lordofnecromacers evil."
OI! I take offense at that. I was always evil. He made me insane. That's why I crafted an Arc Razor.
Dang you Boswick, oh you...
FSC is Boswicks mini-microwave.
The Jelly Palace is where BOswick puts his desert.
Boswick uses Vanaduke's Mace to pick his ears.
When the SNarbolax(s) bit Boswick, they got rabies. (wait, I think that's been posted before...)
OOO works for Boswick. He pays them by allowing them to live.
Lichens are Boswick's snot. The meteor from whence they came is one of his boogers.
Atlantis sank when Boswick played water wars with the Atlantians and shot them with his water gun.
Boswick doesn't bribe King Krogmo; King Krogo bribes him to play.
Boswick bribed King Krogmo and instantly won the game. (wait, this and the one above contradict each other. XP)
The Tortodrones are gone because they're hiding from Boswick.
Boswick uses the Death Star as a laser pointer.
Tue, 01/10/2012 - 19:57
#73
:S
...I still don't see why we're all worshipping Boswick... can someone remind me what he did thats so amazing? (No, really)
Tue, 01/10/2012 - 19:59
#74
^
I have no idea. I just go
^
I have no idea. I just go with the flow.
Tue, 01/10/2012 - 21:24
#75
Boswick...
Is head environment artist. He was the one who designed the environment, fields and places you see throughout the whole of Spiral Knights.
Cherub made the monsters.
But people worship Boswick just because.
Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:25
#76
I have some!
Boswick fell into the Grand Canyon. After certain death, the Canyon barely crawled away to safety.
A rocket puppy fires at Boswick. The rocket, after finding out who it was headed to, it immediately turned around and hit the rocket puppy.
Pink Panther always wins either because Boswick is on his side, or Boswick hates the big nosed guy.
All the wind is Boswick's blowing.
Boswick can make a "Bosswich" out of Pit Boss meat.
Boswick applauded Nintendo for making the second video game with a story in, his game called [REDACTED] being the first.
Hope you like 'em. ;)
(And I hope Boswick gets a laugh out of all these jokes.)
EDIT: Fixed misusing a word...finally! (It's March of 2013 now!)
Sun, 03/17/2013 - 23:16
#77
Boswick mated with a trojan to create arkus.
Also.
Necrosis as I am a vector.
Mon, 03/18/2013 - 19:34
#78
Boswick......
Boswick walks his pet everyday.......the Snarbolax.
When Boswick wants chocolate-cookies, he simply scares the chocolate out of the cookie.
Boswick eats jelly monsters as his jelly. The spikes are simply flavorings to him.
Boswick gave some of his fingernails to the army. After 2,000 scientists casualties, they finally launched it. We know this as the atom bomb.
When a robber tried to rob Boswick's house, the robber was the one who called 911.
Boswick once went into Moorcraft Manor, that's why everybody's not hostile anymore.
When a zombie tried to attack Boswick, the zombie didn't make it back to his coffin.
When you are stunned, it's simply caused by Boswick whispering to you.
When Boswick wants broccoli, he shrinks trees.
Boswick played Pac man, that's why you see ghosts instead of living things.
Tue, 03/19/2013 - 09:27
#79
this is too funny
When Boswick was born, he didn't cry, everyone within a 1000 mile radius screamed.
His tears make you invincible. Too bad he never cries.
His personnel weapon is a level 9001 proto sword
The Horseless Headtaking Horseman in TF2 is Boswick's son.
He disbanded a guild named "Noobs" many years ago. Too bad they're back.
He makes water boil by staring at it.
When he is going to send mail, he doesn't lick the seal shut, he stares at it and makes them pee their pants.
When he dropped a tissue down the toilet, it created a global clog and flood.
Tue, 03/19/2013 - 10:08
#80
The alchemy cost for Boswich is 0.
the alchemy machine is too scared to charge him.
Tue, 03/19/2013 - 19:23
#81
...
Boswick punched holes into the wall, so OOO decided to cover them up by calling them Guild Hall Expansions.
Boswick had Vanaduke as his battle sprite.
Boswick had to start with the level 20-11 missions.
Boswick uses Cradle's clockworks to run his watch.
Whenever Haven is empty, Boswick appears. Don't believe me? Try it yourself. But never try it at home.
Boswick got a Mist Tank. He used it to shoot down the Crimson Order. That's why Nick has to postpone their release. Boswick was very merciful.
Boswick got in this game mode called Free for All. That's why it's now called Lockdown.
Boswick skinned those Grimalkins. Lucky ones got turned into hats.
The Sanctuary is where Boswick keeps his old clothes. You need a Shadow Key to get into his closet. You need his approval to survive.
Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:00
#82
Revs
Boswick is awesome. Undeniable.
Boswick built the Shadow Lairs, and split the snarby into 2, Put the Jelly palace into the fridge for a makeshift cake, sneezed onto the IMF, and looked at FSC.
Boswick's best friends in college were Saxton Hale And Chuck Norris.
Hen someone necros a thread, Boswick flicks it to the first page.
Boswick's mentor died when Boswick accidently took a step on his foot.
Boswick's mentor was Pluto, no longer a planet.
Boswick cannot visit Cradle, or else he obliterates everything.
Boswick set the FSC on fire when he sneezed on it.
Oilers are Boswick's tears, so if you have a AoA while visiting him and make him sad, youre dead.
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:03
#83
Boswick once jumped from the
Boswick once jumped from the 3rd floor of a building. He landed on the 5th floor.
Boswick was born in a house that he made himself.
Boswick can count to infinity and back.
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:54
#84
How about these
Boswick's tears cure cancer. But Boswick never cries.
When Boswick flicks someone off, he isn't insulting them, he's telling them how many seconds they have to live.
Boswick proved to M.C. Hammer that he could touch this.
Boswick uses cheese graters as toilet paper.
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:45
#85
Boswick doesn't learn recipes. He stares them down until they give him the materials he needs.
Wed, 06/26/2013 - 19:00
#86
self destruct in 5 minutes. have a nice day!
when life gives Boswick lemons, he makes orange juice.
Boswick is so awesome, he killed 2 stones with one bird.
Boswick is so strong, when he does a push-up he pushes cradle down.
When Boswick and Vanaduke went to battle.Boswick one and made Vanaduke the core of Earth.
When you go to the Help!Igot hacked link,you turn on Boswick rage mode
(having trouble thinking of something :P OH GOT ONE!)
Boswick doesn't think.Thinking is for wimps.