Spiral Knights - [FANFIC] The Clash

[FANFIC] The Clash

111 replies [Last post]

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 13:48

#51

Pow-The-Commando

GO FANFIC GO! Reserved for

GO FANFIC GO!

Reserved for the Prologue

The Prologue:

Infernus looked at a jellycube with an intense firestorm in his eyes. He swung his Fang of Vog to threaten the jelly. Pow then jumped, made an aerodynamic shape, and cut the jelly cube in half. Bull shot a far away jelly in the core from a mile away. Clasher chopped a Lumber's arm off with his Leviathan and finished it with his Valiance. Pow killed jellycubes until a purple gate opened. He rushed for the statue and threw it onto a pressure pad with all his might. Perfect throw.

To be finished.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 06:31

#52

Varsian

i saw this post on embrace

i saw this post on embrace the dark, and i thought this would be something good. so far all i have seen is one flame war, a spam from the MAKER of this forum topic, and nothing to do with the story...

Also, you gave Kajuhunter 0% chance of getting in because of a "wall" of text? That wall was a pretty decent character post. If you want some in depth characters, you need some fleshed out character applications. Also, you admitted all of Isekubbe characters (which i'm not saying is a bad thing) but his wall of text is around three times the size of Kajuhunter's.

Pow, i think your idea of this fanfic is in the right place, and i hope for the best here, but i think you need to be more fair on all of this

- Varsian

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 07:15

#53

Isekuube

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I agree with Varisan, yes, I didn't put a huge wall of text (I am smart, playing to the judge :P), for one, Pow would've rejected my characters, two I am not very good at that :3 I've read Kaij's "wall of text" and I have to agree with Varisan. You make many good points my friend! Yes, I am not trying to be mean, I am trying to construct you that you will stop spamming other people's threads incuding your own!

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 08:07

#54

Softhead

PFFF..

I'm put off from this fanfic due to the spamming on other threads, hence that troll request.

I swear, if this flops, I will go mental.....

At the moment, this guy has posted on some dudes topic that his fanfic is better that that dude's topic, even though he hasen't even DONE the prolouge.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 11:05

#55

Pow-The-Commando

This is because I have seen

This is because I have seen the many adventures of my character and I am revising that in this.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 11:06

#56

Pow-The-Commando

Well, Ise, ur chracters were

Well, Ise, ur chracters were good without me reading their bio.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 11:16

#57

Softhead

Can't you use your own characters?

I mean I woulden't rely on Playerbase made Chars as peole woulden't want them to die.

Also bios flesh out the character, gives them a motive.

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 18:49

#58

Varsian

wait....

wait a sec.....

you didnt read Ise's character bios pow? Not to be mean to Ise, cuz i did read them and they were pretty good, but you need to READ or else you're going to make characters that arnt even close to the character applications at all! Don't bite off more than you can chew here Pow, think this through....

-Varsian

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 09:11

#59

Pow-The-Commando

I actually did read them -_-

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 09:22

#60

Iskender

"Can't you use your own

"Can't you use your own characters?"

Jesus Christ, stop reading my mind!

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 10:00

#61

Softhead

@Iskender

NEVAH!

On a serious topic, 'Artini' was made to flesh out Varisan's character for ETD.

Interestingly enough, you [Pow(*6)] made this after posting your character.

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 13:12

#62

Pow-The-Commando

Well, this is gonna be even

Well, this is gonna be even better than the game once I can get Spiral Spy workin'.

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 00:17

#63

Softhead

...Seerusly??

You have said class A bullcrap.

If I owned this thread

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3PGbF87hNw

EDIT: FIXED IT! NVM, I just put the link itself....

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 16:11

#64

Outnuendo

Pow

No matter what "special stuff" you do with your story, if your story sucks, then not one person will care about you "special stuff"

THEY WILL TELL YOU YOUR STORY IS TERRIBLE.

If you cannot comprehend this, then leave this place and come back when you're older the 6.

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 16:21

#65

Isekuube

@Pow Sorry, not trying to be mean, but...

LOL PWNED! :D

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 16:23

#66

Regal-The-Soverine

@Atrumvindex

your link dos not work.

Mon, 03/19/2012 - 16:27

#67

Isekuube

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 01:14

#68

Playerman

Back onto topic.

Name: Player. Yeah a derpy name, but whaaateveer.

Gender: Male

P. Colour (leave blank for random) Blue.

Armour and Helm: Skolver.

Shield(optional): (leave blank for none) Swiftstrike Buckler.

Costume(s): (leave blank for none) A Magic Hood and a Vog coat.

Personality: Always in the mood for humor, but shows no mercy in battle. In battle he thinks and kills quickly, and knows what to do in most situations. Has a brain and can use it quite well.

History/Bio: (Do NOT put a giant wall of text here or I won't read it) Nothing known about his past until up to the point where he appeared in a deconstruction zone where a squad was fighting a losing battle againest a group of gremilins. Managed to destroy the group and bring the squad to safety in a matter of minutes. Decided to stay in Haven and see what he could do to help.

Twist Degree: (How much your character develops/changes over the course of the story) He'll fight harder and more violently as the battle goes on. When talking he'll still act the same I guess.

Expendability: (Want this character to live or die?) Live if you don't mind.

Accessories: (e.g. Cobalt Crest on Cobalt Armour) Magic Hood with Toasty glasses, headband, and side helm guards (glasses and headphones) and Toasty Dragon Wings on my Vog coat.

Class: (e.g. Scout, Recon, Guardian, Striker, Knight) Striker.

Weapons: (e.g. Calibur,Blaster) Final Flourish, Divine Avenger, Gran Faust, and a Sentenza. Yeah I'm a bit of an elitist...

Additional Facts: Likes shiny things. And explosives. And shiny explosives.

Role: (e.g. Pow's friend) Elite Squad I guess.

Faction: (good or bad?) Good.

Theme song: (you put the link here and the track's name, you leave it blank if you don't have one) Nope.

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 05:00

#69

Varsian

hmmmm

this will be a fun thread to keep track of....

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 06:05

#70

Azure-Orbit

I think we're being trolled...

Pow*6, I'm really starting to doubt as to whether you are actually going to write something. You keep on telling people about how "awesome" your fanfic is going to be, but where is it? If you're gonna brag about something, at least bring it with you. Every time you make a new post without even writing the sotry itself, I suspect even more that you are simply trolling us (You guys can go ahead and tell that was obvious if you knew it was :) ))

If this DOES turn out to be a story, it better not be worse than my 4 year old cousin's writing...

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 06:39

#71

Iskender

Real trolls never say that

Real trolls never say that they're trolling, so he'll prolly never acknowledge any troll talk.

But something tells me that this is genuine and he's just very deluded, though the troll thing is still very viable, too.

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 12:34

#72

Pow-The-Commando

I'm making the prologue!

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 13:56

#73

Softhead

ZOMG!

MY STOMACH! IT BURNS!

Dashes my head against a concrete wall....

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 16:08

#74

Isekuube

Comments on your paragraph of a prologue

Who the HECK is Infernus? He was never mentioned, and frankly... I had no idea wh Bull or anybody else was (even though I DO know who they are), you never described there gear, this line makes no sense: Infernus looked at a jellycube with an intense firestorm in his eyes., Jelly Cubes (capitalize "Jelly Cubes") from what I know do not have eyes OR a gender and Infernus (whoever this guy is) would have to CROUCH down and look into the Jelly CUbe's "eyes" and do you even know what "aerodynamic" means? (It looked like it was used in the right context, but idk) Oh yeah, and is that ALL you have in FOUR DAYS? (That is kind of sad if you ask me)

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 16:30

#75

Scamall

Oh... oh no. Brace yourself.

Sorry, Pow, but I agree with most of these people particularly Ise, who seems to be the only actual critic here so far. All this hype, time delays, advertising, and blatant spam, and the end result is this. Half the people you admitted I didn't even see on this thread. The writing in your (unfinished) prologue was choppy at best. No proper introduction for the characters, and each gets only one line or two. No dialogue, no development, nothing of interest but everything I've reviewed. It IS unfinished, though, so you can probably work around that. I will advise you to avoid spamming threads and work on your writing if you want it to be well-received.

Still on the fence about if you're trolling or not, and about which option I'd prefer.

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 16:41

#76

Outnuendo

You tell, you tell, you tell...

Literally the only description we get is "With an intense firestorm in his eyes." Aside from that, it's "X did Y. Y did S." Like scamall said, the prequel is incredibly bare bones: it reads like a script, not a story.

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 16:42

#77

Outnuendo

Ignore this

The comment here was so amazing, SK forums ate it up for the sake of preserving the world.

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 16:53

#78

Krispycake

78 comments later....

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 17:03

#79

Isisdelltion

ZOMG indeed...

I'm a bit confused (not about the quality of the story, I kinda already figured how that would turn out ) of what's going on. You give little to no sense as to what is going down, but I'll guess that it involves Jellies in some way shape or form. You just describe what a few knights are doing... there's no dialogue our anything giving us a clue as to where these peeps are and what they're trying to achieve.
What I understood from this:

Some guy I have no clue about stared at a Jelly. You cut it in half. Another random guy shoots a Jelly, although we don't know where, or if he's even an ally to the others. Another guy is fighting a lumber somewhere. Again, we don't know if he's on the same side or where he is in relation to the rest of them. Then you, who's apparently with that guy with the FoV kills the rest with your uber skills, then grabs a statue and throws it, even though we don't know why.

So for all I know, it could be a group of sworn enemies fighting the Gremlins in the Vogzosholm Crypts ( try reading someone's story before putting fifty troll posts on it ) or they could be hundreds of miles away from each other, and just happen to be fighting the monsters in RJP.

Also, the prolouge was about a paragraph ( and a small one at that ) long and Azure hoped wrong.

I'll give you a B+ in effort, cuz it seemed as though you sorta tried to make it bearable, but for everything else really fell under my expectations... and that seeriusly saying something.

Sorry Pow, but my best advise is to:
1. Read some other stories.
2. Make a new account ( a non steam one ).
3. Rename yourself something completely new ( not Pow*5 or something stupid like that. )
4. Start a NEW fanfic ( idk, [The Crash] maybe? ).
5. Don't be one of the most annoying trolls ever ( you are beat only by Fallconn and Nyan ).
6. And write something truly good.

Maybe once you are socially accepted you can admit who you really are... if you ever stop your trollery.

Some other advise is to start off with some chapters down, it's what I did ( and although they were short and not very good, at least I didn't wait a week to actually write something ).

I can't believe I wasted part of my life writing something he's never going to read. -_-

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 17:13

#80

Isekuube

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 21:42

#81

Shue-Donnym

Mhm

If you want to start a fanfic, at least start it on the first page. Seriously.
/lrn2fanfic

Wed, 03/21/2012 - 12:29

#82

Pow-The-Commando

I'VE MADE A SECOND FANFIC

Wed, 03/21/2012 - 13:24

#83

Softhead

So..

You ending this horrible trainwreck of a thread!?

Wed, 03/21/2012 - 13:28

#84

Pow-The-Commando

No.

Wed, 03/21/2012 - 18:01

#85

Varsian

Artini?

On a serious topic, 'Artini' was made to flesh out Varisan's character for ETD.

Interestingly enough, you [Pow(*6)] made this after posting your character

I made Artini the fanfic, cuz i wanted to expand like you said, are you saying it was much better?

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 01:06

#86

Pow-The-Commando

P-P-P-P-POW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P-P-P-P-POW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Varsian gets pow'd off then topic*

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 02:33

#87

Varsian

still here....

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 20:20

#88

The-Rawrcake

My character's name is

My character's name is scrapples, and he is a hardcore parkour.

Sun, 03/25/2012 - 04:17

#89

Pow-The-Commando

U DIDNT POST A CHARACTER RAWR

Sun, 03/25/2012 - 05:56

#90

Valorai

D: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!

Mon, 03/26/2012 - 02:45

#91

Pow-The-Commando

PPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE

Pie.
Reserved for Chapter I

Mon, 03/26/2012 - 20:43

#92

Nechrome

I feel left out... Pow*6

I feel left out... Pow*6 didn't advertise in my thread yet... :(

I think I'll post a character for the heck of it.

Name: Necro

Gender: Male

P. Colour (leave blank for random) Green

Armour and Helm: Wolver Coat, Magic Hood

Shield(optional): (leave blank for none) Bristling Buckler

Personality: An experienced Recon who enjoys using his Khorovod and Jalovec to smash the brains out of his enemies. Has a profound interest in Greavers. Not very sociable, but a good team player when needed.

History/Bio: (Do NOT put a giant wall of text here or I won't read it) Just a normal Knight who anjoys Greavers, Blast network, and being invisible. :)

Expendability: (Want this character to live or die?) Live

Class: (e.g. Scout, Recon, Guardian, Striker, Knight) Recon

Weapons: (e.g. Calibur,Blaster) Twisted Snarble Barb, Shockburst Brandish, Khorovod, Jalovec, Crystal Bomb, Super Blast Bomb, Spine Cone, Lightning Capaciator.

Additional Facts: Like Greavers. Breeds them for fun. Has about 15ish of them ATM.

Role: (e.g. Pow's friend) Secondary Squad

Faction: (good or bad?) I want to be bad, but... Good. I'll be good.

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 10:06

#93

Pow-The-Commando

A rather good submission

A rather good submission there Necro, just tell me if you're ok with your character being downed but revived and I'll confirm him. The whole secondary squad has to face that. :P

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 20:32

#94

Nechrome

/shrug Sure, that's okay.

/shrug

Sure, that's okay. Your story.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 09:09

#95

Happyapathy

I don't know who you are but

I don't know who you are but I'm reporting you to the police for murdering Pow and assuming his identity, he would never post a sensible comment like that.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 10:45

#96

Iskender

He's just proven himself to

He's just proven himself to be a troll.

And yet we continue feeding him.

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 08:27

#97

Pow-The-Commando

bump. (WTF!? BY OWNER OF TOPIC!?)

BZZZLARGHT!

Thu, 03/29/2012 - 08:42

#98

Iskender

Great, he's turned into

Great, he's turned into Deceased Crab. Get Slowbeef and Diabeetus on him!

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 07:30

#99

Pow-The-Commando

No, that's the sound of Pow's

No, that's the sound of Pow's revive. Instead of "NEUUU! BWAM!" it's "BZZZLARGHT!"

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 14:51

#100

Isekuube

Really?

Is that supposed to make you more powerfull? -.-

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[FANFIC] The Clash