Spiral Knights - [Fanfiction]: Breaking the Routine (Rolecasting)

[Fanfiction]: Breaking the Routine (Rolecasting)

27 replies [Last post]

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 03:10

Awesomesock

Prologue

That was not in my plans. Instead of returning home and chilling in front of a television screen, I'm slowly crawling through mud, all bloodstained, almost pushing up the daisies. That was supposed to be another routine day at work, but they came -I think four of them- Slaughtered everyone. Well, not me, but it's only because I managed to pretend dead after he shot me, but I'm bleeding out real fast. I suddenly hear something; It's one of ours! I squint my eyes to distinguish his silhouette from body piles. He seems to be terribly hurt, supporting himself on a banner. "Long live king Tinkinzar!" He shouted just before recieving a bullet to the throat.

I see one of them; Knights approaching me. I'm not sure if they realise that I'm alive. I lie down, trying not to move, breathing heavily. I can't hear anything 'cause of my heart pounding. The next moment I felt a terrible pain in my ribs. I'm trying to hold back the shout, but I can't. I'm letting out a loud cry. The only thing I know is I'm being tied up- Didn't even resist.
The bleeding, the pain, confusion. It's too much at once. I fainted.

-
So, yeah. I decided to try something different. This time it's a fanfic. Not sure if you'd like it, but this is mainly to test my writing skills. Tell me what you think about it. Should I continue?

EDIT
Slightly edited it, so now it's more clear and easier to read. Don't expect chapter one to come up soon. I'm busy animating with 3ds Max. If you want to see my feeble trials at animation, hit my Youtube chanel

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 04:36

Awesomesock

No one comments?

Damn. Is it really that bad or did I choose a bad time for expecting feedback?

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 04:58

Tevokkia

Bad timing, man

Well, you posted about 6am, my time. Tiny tablet at work is not good for posts more than a line or so. Looks good so far, but will have to leave actual feedback later.

Sat, 04/07/2012 - 17:18

Nomadk

Its Good

Keep on writin'.

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 04:40

Tevokkia

Going to continue?

I like the first-person perspective and I'm interested in seeing what happens to this guy, although you could format your sections to make them a bit easier to read (just putting full breaks between them usually helps a lot). I'm assuming that English isn't your first language, if you're using dashes rather than quotation marks to denote dialogue, so do correct me if I'm wrong, but it may be a bit confusing for your English-speaking readers. Not that you have to change it.

But yes- I'm looking forward to seeing what happens to our poor protagonist!

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 05:25

Awesomesock

@Tevokkia

Welp. I kinda tried to use present simple, but failed miserabely. You're right; English is not my native language, although I'm doin' my best to make it at least understandable. x____x First person narration seemed like a good idea, but I'm not sure if you can simply adapt Polish writing pattern to English just like that. Either way, I should have wrote it in past tense.

Sun, 04/08/2012 - 05:37

Tevokkia

It's cool.

It's perfectly understandable- I was referring more to the differences in punctuation usage between languages. And you can always switch to past tense for later parts. I don't think you failed miserably, really.

... as long as you don't write in stream of consciousness. That stuff is awful. XD

Mon, 04/16/2012 - 05:50

Awesomesock

Reviving!

So, I didn't have much time lately, but now I decided to continue this story. Stay tuned.

Okay, here goes nothing!
---
Chapter one.

I slowly started to wake up. I felt handcuffs binding me to a chair and on top of that I couldn't even move any of my limbs. I carefully opened my eyes. To my relief the room was dark. They took my goggles, so I could barely see anything, but I looked around, anyway. The room was kind of small, equipped only with a mirror on my left and a chair I was sitting on. I looked at the mirror, but all I could see was a blurry silhouette of myself. After squinting my eyes I could see a bit sharper, but still not as well as with my goggles. After closer examination I noticed a bandage wrapped around my bullet wound and a lot of blood covering my mender uniform. What did I even do to diserve all this? All I could do now was wating for someone to eventually come.

I completely lost track of time. I may have been here for days,as well as for hours, but someone finnaly came. I couldn't see well, but I noticed him carring a device of some sort. As he waled up closer I realised he was holding two devices. He put them on the ground and pressed a button one one of them. "You probably wonder why they kept you alive this long. I wouldn't." the knight said. I perfectly understood his every word. This device was a translator. No doubt. "It's obvious you want to know something." I replied, trying to sound calm. "Then you probably realise what I want to know. If you won't tell me, I will personally spill your guts on the wall." He responded in an almost maniacal tone. I unwillingly guled. "What can you possibly know about Seerus's new toys?" The Knight asked. "Seerus? You mean; Warlord Seerus? Eh- I don't know I'm jus-". "No, no, no. Of course you know. And even if you don't making you remember is still going to be fun." He threw in unexpectedly and grinned. Then he started to press some buttons on the other device and walked away quickly. I had a really bad feeling about this. Then it begun. The inexplicable sound coming from it at an extremelly loud volume has instantly made me regret that I live. My ears were bleeding, my brain was melting. This was by far the most terrifying expirience in my entire life. I wanted to thank heavens when it finnaly stopped, but it played itself all over again. I'd do anything to make it stop.

"So, how was this little concert?" The Knight sarcasticly said with pleasure and amusment. "I think I'm gonna throw up..." I mumbled. "Well, that was just a warm-up. I have much more of these. The bastard threatend me. "No, please no... Alright. My name is Arthyum, I'm a Tenderfoot mender- Or used to be now. I'm tied to a chair and in one room with some sadistic maniac trying to make me say things I don't know!". "So you are a Tenderfoot? Well, you are kind of useless for me, then." he said while sligtly stinging my throat with his Valiance bayonet. "Fortunately for you I can't make this kind of decision." He frowned. "I guess I'll have to take you to your temporary new home". He started to untie me and put some kind of a collar on my neck. Then pushed me forward and told me to hasten.
---

Alright, this was now completed chapter one. The second part will arrive when I'll get enough characters. As for now I'm rolecasting!

Seerusly, guys. I need those characters to progress.
Here's the format:

Name:
Gender:
Race:
Weapons:
Armor:
Personality:
Biography:
Twist degree (How much would you like your character to change over the story):
Misc:

As for now I need about four knights and that's all. You CAN, however post applications for other races, but they will have to wait a bit.

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 03:28

Shue-Donnym

"The hot knife cut the butter like a hot knife through butter."

Name: Martel
Gender: M
Race: Spiral
Weapons: Acheron, Nova Driver, Dark Briar Barrage
Armor: Valkyrie Helm, Dragon Scale Mail, Swiftstrike Buckler. Fallen Crown as helm costume. Red personal colour.
Personality: Sociable, crafty, no real allegiance.
Biography: Martel's a sociable nice guy at first sight, but he can turn a nice day really bad really quickly. To him, there's no such thing as taking one for the team. There's only the team taking one for you. A fallen teammate equals a shield. Heck, even a living teammate equals a shield. His acts have resulted in him becoming a reviled figure in Haven. He doesn't care much for that. He's lost everything and everyone he ever liked anyway. Lately, however, he's decided to suck it up and just make some new friends. But that isn't going to be easy when you've got a rep like Martel's trailing behind you...
Twist degree (How much would you like your character to change over the story): All is in your hands, but I'd prefer not for it to change too radically in a short timespan.
Misc: He can fight well with his weaponry, but he sometimes goes hand-to-hand combat on weaker enemies like Gremlins and Wolvers.

I just made this guy up so you could get closer to continuing with the story. Seems nice so far. Keep going, and I'd advise you not to get ahead of yourself next time. (Referring to how you can't continue with Chapter One without getting four knights.)

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 15:48

Shue-Donnym

sus

/knock
You there bro?

Sat, 04/14/2012 - 21:06

#10

Kaijuhunter

Can i join

Heres an app

Name: Satoshi

Gender: male

Race: Spiralian

Weapons: Leviathan, Grand Flourish, Valiance, and the occasional Master Blast bomb

Armor: Ash tail set with Mighty Cobalt as costume. Mighty defender and Dusky Com unit accesory.

Personality: a bit of a wise guy, can crack a joke even in extreme pain. otherwise, very helpful and fun to be around sincr he jokes around so much. In battle he is merciless

Bio: Satoshi had once been captured by Gremlins before and almost throws up whenever he sees them. He was brought to Tinkinzar but was fearless, even kicking one of the kings Crimson Order in the crotch on his escape out. He was raised as a swordsman but has talent with firearms and explosives too. He is good friends with Feron but annoys him with funny pranks. He jokes around a lot, which can get him in trouble, but has a way with words that gets him out. He comes through for his friends when they need him.
Twist: not much to add. U make it up

Misc: he has a craving for candy and sometimes rushes into battle with crumbs from Cake slices and goo from Jelly Gems on his helmet and shirt

Sun, 04/15/2012 - 02:23

#11

Awesomesock

Didn't post in a while.

@Xplad Herp. I'm here. Just been terribly busy with some stuffs. Your character has a colorful personality with an interesting backstory. I see some fairly important role for him, although I'd save him for later chapters.

@Kaijuhunter Huh. Based on his biography I can tell he'll be playing a major role in this chapter.

Sun, 04/15/2012 - 02:26

#12

Shue-Donnym

sandwich

Thanks! I'll be waiting...and watching...and drinking iced tea...

Mon, 04/16/2012 - 06:19

#13

Awesomesock

Heads up!

Chapter one has been finished.

Mon, 04/16/2012 - 06:44

#14

Tevokkia

You seem to have gotten your sadist character, so ...

Name: Kasseta
Gender: Female
Race: Spiralian
Weapons: Ascended Calibur and Supernova
Armor: Vitasuit Deluxe (custom colored to the Divine scheme) and Valkyrie Helm.

Personality: Kasseta is a soft-hearted Knight who would rather stand in the back as medic support than actually kill things - she won't raise a weapon to something unless it actually attacks her first, so she's not often taken into the Clockworks unless an actual medic is needed. As a general rule, she's quiet, timid, and sympathetic, but she'll do a complete 180 if you get her angry; she'll get all up in your face to yell at you. This tends to take people by surprise. People being cruel to something that can't defend itself is the fastest way to make her mad.

Biography: Kasseta didn't even want to join the Spiral Order, but her older sister and brother dragged her in with them. She focused on rescue rather than combat, and took some time to do some charity work in Emberlight (she was pretty upset to be called back from that, as she was really enjoying it). Her weapons and armor, being of high level, were gifts from her siblings, who firstly wanted her to fit in, and secondly, wanted her to be protected since she didn't seem inclined to see to that minor detail herself.

Twist degree (How much would you like your character to change over the story): Whatever you'd like; it's your story.

Misc: She really likes to tell stories, and will do so for hours if she has an interested audience.

... I'm tired. I'll come back and add a bit to this later if I can think of something a bit more interesting to add to her.

Mon, 04/16/2012 - 07:08

#15

Awesomesock

@Tevokkia

Your charchter is fabulous, but... You're making things too easy for me! Yup, she is certainly going to be featured.

Mon, 04/16/2012 - 10:31

#16

Tevokkia

Silly boy!

What, you thought I'd try to be difficult? >.<

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 09:41

#17

Awesomesock

@Tevokkia

Writing fanfics's easy enough as it is. :3 (Hence my crappy quality). Okay, okay. It's not easy. ;_; What is, after all?

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 09:41

#18

Awesomesock

New chapter!

Chapter 2
Me and that knight were walking down a tight, long corridor, then walked up the stairs. The bright light of Cardle's surface blinded me for a second, but I resumed walking after being pushed forward. The day was really hot and I thought I'd melt like an ice cube. I looked around; We kept on walking through the busy streets of Heaven. Everyone stopped for a minute to stare at me. Well, you couldn't have seen a gremlin here often, after all. We stopped in front of a tall building; Possibly their headquarters.

Inside it felt somehow chilly, thanks to the air conditioning, I think. This corridor I was stainding in was long, wide and had a lot of doors on both sides. We were just about to go left, when suddenly I herd a female voice coming from behind.
"Satoshi! Wait!"
"Huh? Oh, it's you, Kass." said the knight interrogating me.
"I'm here to take the pr- What in the world did you do to him?!" the female knight exclamed.
"Nothing?" he mumbled back.
"Oh, I can exactly see what kind of nothing." said Kass in a flurried tone.
"You know I don't like them, little freaks much, Kasseta." Satoshi declared hesitantly.
"I knew it was a bad idea to let you do the interrogation. Gosh, by the looks of it he's just a Tenderfoot. He doesn't know much." Kasseta hit her palm.
"Hey, I'm good with interrogating and stuff. I just dislike those... Things..." Satoshi replied.
"This is why I'm going to do it." Kass said firmly.
"Fine, geez. Don't kill me for it. Sheesh!" Satoshi said back while giving her the translator device and walked away.
"So, what's your name, little guy?" Kasseta's face instantly brightened.
"Uh- Arthyum..." I told her in response.
"Well, then Arthyum. I'd like you to go with me and I'll ask you a few questions." she said in a suddenly friendly tone.
"Alright... I guess..." I replied with slight hesitation.

***
This room was dark, too, but had a table, with two chairs and something like a recorder on that table. Kasseta led me to the further one and clamped my hands in to the armrest.
"Sorry 'bout that. Standard procedure" she said.
Kass sat on the other end of the table and turned on the tape recorder device.
"So, once again. What is your name?"
"Arthyum" I replied.
"Okay. Where were you right before you were- *Akhem* taken away?"
"Jigsaw Valley, I think..."
"What role you had? What were you doing?"
"I was a mender, I was supposed to help others in case of an injury."
"What was your previous expirience with the Spiral Order?" Kasseta asked in a calm, warm way.
"Well... I didn't have any- Up until now, but I was told a lot of bad things about the knights..."
"Things like?" she asked curiously.
"We've been told you want to steal the Core and destroy our planet..." I answered unsteadily.
Kasseta didn't say anything for a second, then said: "It's not exacly like that. We... We're trying to get some enegry from the core, so we can get back home."
I nodded.
"Alright. I think that's enough for one today." she said, then turned off the device and freed my hands.
Kass gently grasped my hand and told me she'll show me my cell. It wasn't so bad now. I can almost say I like her... But, still those knights slaughtered my friends. How can I even trust them?

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 10:09

#19

Tevokkia

Aww, I like what you did with

Aww, I like what you did with Kasseta. It's cute.

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:47

#20

Awesomesock

@Tevokkia

Yay, thanks. I was trying that approach, but I think I kinda overdone it. :U

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 11:53

#21

Happyapathy

"Twist degree" seems to be

"Twist degree" seems to be popping up a lot on role casting threads now, I seem to have pioneered a new phrase.

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 12:17

#22

Awesomesock

@Happyapathy

Is there anything you haven't pioneered/perfected? Seerusly.
Also, how do you make those maps so dark?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 03:28

#23

Awesomesock

Doctor, are you sure this will work?

Chapter 3 (1/2)

"Wait- I get to sleep... Here?" I pointed at a tiny, rusty metal cage that would seem to be able to house only one half of me.
"Yes... I was trying to convince the HQ to- To give our prisioners better conditions." Kasseta bit her lip. "Better than those."
I looked at her with full understanding of given conditions. She obviously can't get over the fact how hard it must be in those wet, dark dungeons. Many of ours have been taken away, yet few have returned. Those who have lived to tell, were saying about slavery, sickness and death. I've almost put my hopes of surviving the night up when Kass said: "Maybe... Well, maybe you could live at my place..." I slowly tuned my head her way and nodded shyly. After all a sleepover at your enemies' witout being cuffed into a wall doesn't happen often if it happens at all. I felt flatered, slowly began to find a friend in her... Well, more of a friend than in other Knights, that is. But something made me take a step forward and my hands timidly clasped around her, which was supposingly a hug. Kasseta answered with another one of her warming smiles and pressed me against her armor. This was the first time I could relax my body ever since I got here.
"There is one problem, though..." I herd from above "You'll need to spend one night here before I actually get to convincing my superiors to let me keep you. If it's not a problem" She added.
"It's fine, really." I continued to nestle into her Vitasuit.
Kasseta let out a short burst of laughter and said: "Okay, little guy. I'll do my best to keep you at my place, now get some rest."
I obediently slipped into the hutch, layed down in a corner and almost instsntly fell asleep.

Mon, 04/30/2012 - 13:03

#24

Tevokkia

^.^

Cuddly gremlin is cuddly.

Sun, 05/20/2012 - 02:23

#25

Angelic-Tear

lovely...

so lovely that i keep on forgetting to do any real playing xD

Name: Yire

Gender: Female

Race: Spiralian

Weapons: Divine avenger blitz and when ever she gets 4 weapons: Final flourish and

Armor: skinny Valkyrie set with...glasses, recolour com unit (Colour is amber)

Personality: Fight's fiercely, but really just wants to get off this planet. Tries not to be to cruel. but that basically means give the thing a quick death. Is understanding.

Biography: (I use to be good at these... Ծ_Ծ...thank god i just remembered this gal already has one :D) Her parents died on the crash to cradle, so she was left alone at Haven. She was sitting on the pool thing in haven when a woman came and asked her why she was crying. She told her, and after wards she was told, that the woman was called Iris and that her parents had also died. She had been orphaned by a nice couple, and when she was older they died as well. (/cry) The woman told her to join her guild, and she grew up cared by the guild etc etc etc.

Twist degree (How much would you like your character to change over the story): Well...I dunno. Realize the meaning of life, the universe and pizza maybe?

Misc: I'll come back to this. I really have exhausted my brain making this.

if gremlin gets to get out, gremlin will probably be thinking I ♥ you xD

Mon, 05/21/2012 - 05:51

#26

Verid

fine then, I guess I wont

fine then, I guess I wont contribute my character.

Sun, 05/20/2012 - 22:12

#27

Awesomesock

Seerusly

Guys... Why do you dig up my old and shtoopid stuff? .__. Minefield was an upgrade to this. But on the second thought I don't have a lot of time to work on my comic so I'll consider reviving this fanfic.

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[Fanfiction]: Breaking the Routine (Rolecasting)