A Great Snipe of enormous size hath appeared in Haven - larger than any seen before!
http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/595841084619799507/C03722B60D8357C7D8B...
But heed my words, fellow knights; this snipe of great magnitude is not merely a glitch or a joke. This Fat Snipe is a warning! A prophet to warn us of our greed and folly! Heed the Fat Snipe - lest you fall victim to its power.
Look around you, fellows of Haven! The Fat Snipe is not the only gorged entity. Direct your gaze but a few paces north, and lay eyes upon a veritable feast of self-stuffing. See your fellow knights hoard tokens of cake slices, diving into the clockworks again and again in order to slaughter the horrid mutations created by none other than the hands of their masters. This mass and wasteful slaughter culminates in the exchange of the gluttonous symbols for a hat made of cake. This hat serves no purpose, but to fulfill the bottomless vanity of it's wearer! And it's made of cake, the very symbol of excess!
Look north yet more, and ye shall see the looming visage of the Haven Auction House. Woe, lay thy eyes upon your fellow knights around that dreadful building! Watch as they stand, idle in motion except for the odd twitch of the arm, to squabble and bid with their crowns over each others' possessions. See your compatriots spend and spend and spend for the latest accessory, or the pair of shadow dragon wings, or a temporary Love Puppy disguise. And for what? A nonfunctional symbol!
Do you not see the truth, my comrades? Do you not see that the Fat Snipe, in its large and bulbous form, is itself a symbol of our meaningless gluttony for crowns and cake? Do not doubt dear friends that this herald of Haven, this celestial creature of the clockworks, is a warning to us all! A warning to cease our meaningless bickering over symbols, while the entirety of Cradle beckons! And just like any warning that is to be taken with the utmost seriousness, the Fat Snipe hath already given us a glimpse of its power! With its righteous might, the Fat Snipe reached out into the crowd of onlookers around itself, and at whim struck down two of them! Behold!
http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/595841084619925539/82520A3899E5265BA2D...
Yes, as you can see at the bottom of that screenshot, the Fat Snipe has smote not one, but TWO knights with the most horrible of all afflictions - a broken connection! And that is but an example that the Fat Snipe hath made to us. Imagine, in its anger, that of which the Fat Snipe is TRULY capable!
But do not despair quite yet, good knights of Haven, as there is yet time to reform your ways! Cease your cakediving expeditions, and return to wholesome FSC spamming and recipe runs through the clockworks! Withhold from bidding on that Divine Halo that's been in the featured auctions 43 times in a row now, and put your crowns towards that new armor set, or the acquisition of superior Unique Variants on your favorite weapons! Throw down your symbols of excess - don your unmodified Skolver with pride!
Hurry, Knights of the Spiral! Only by heeding the warning of the Fat Snipe can we hope to stave off its terrible wrath upon us and our world!
The swarm of doom was an omen that we were running Fire Storm Citadel too often. Now we have moved to haven, so the snipe of doom has appeared to guide us back to FSC.