*Pawn enters the room on a stormy, bitter evening*

"Let me have your attention please. So you're talking about what? You're talking about--you're crying about that sell you shot? Somebody doesn't wanna buy accessories, somebody don't want buy what your selling, some pug your carrying, so forth. LET'S talk about something important!"

*Looks at his mist energy crafting alt*
"Are they all here?" *--all but one, Pawnsmistenergyslave responds* "Well I'm going anyways. LET'S talk about something important!."

*Pawn glares at (Name withheld) Knight#1 buying a 100 lot of CE*
"PUT THAT CE DOWN! Ce is for Confirmers only." (confirming is clicking confirm to consummate a trade)

*Knight awkardly /lol's, not sure if Pawn is serious*
"You think i'm TROLLING with you? I am not trolling with you. I'm here from down-core. I'm here from the Alpha Squad. AND i'm here on a mission of MERCY. Your name's (withheld because shaming is not allowed on the forums). You call yourself a salesman you son-of-a-noob?"

*(Name withheld) Knight#2 is offended and says he doesn't have to listen to this crap*
"You certainly don't pal, because the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you've got-all of you got just one week to regain your right to merchant. Starting with tonight! Starting with tonights /whispers!!"

*Turns around dramatically*
"Oh have i got your attention now? Good. Because we're adding a little something to this months sales contest. As you all know first prize is being able to afford to roll any max UV you want. Anyone wanna see 2nd prize? 2nd prize is regal barrel belly. 3rd prize is your fired...we get the picture? You laughing now?...You've got leads. The Alpha Squad paid good money for the baazar. Get there names to sell them! You can't close them leads--you can't close Crap! YOU ARE CRAP!! Hit the bricks pal and beat it, because you are going OUT.

*(Name withheld) knight#3 claims the bazaar leads are weak*
"The leads are weak? The trolling leads are weak? You are weak. I've been in this business 15 years (well 6months)--"

*Knight#2 asks what is your name*
"TROLL YOU! THAT'S my name. You know why mister? Because you drove a NO UV azure gaurdian set to the clockworks tonight. I drove a 100k ce multi max UV vog/coa/seerus mask--THAT'S MY NAME. And your name is 'you're wanting'-you can't play in the man's game-you can't confirm them. Then go home and tell you wife your troubles. BECAUSE only one thing counts in this Spiral Knights. Get them to confirm on the screen which is TRADING. You hear me you TROLLING qq'ers? ABC. A-Always. B-Be. C-Confirming. Alway be confirming. ALWAYS BE CONFIRMING. A.I.D.A. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention-do i have your attention. Interest-Are you interested, I KNOW you are because it's troll or walk. You confirm or you hit the bricks. Decision-HAVE YOU MADE your decision for CRADLE. And action--A.I.D.A.
"Get out there, you got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get out of the clockworks? A guy don't type on the tradechat unless he wants to BUY. They are sitting out there WAITING to give you their CE. Are you gonna take it?...are you man enough to take it?"

*Knight#2 trying to save face mutters 'incredible' under his azure guardian helm*
"What's the matter pal?"

*Knight#2 still trying to save face says -you are such a hero, you are so rich, how come you're coming down here and wasting you're time with such a bunch of bums*
"You see this prism halo?" *drops halo on the fountain in front of knight#2* "You see this prism halo? That halo cost more than your entire loadouts. I made 970k ce last year, how much did u make? You see pal, THAT's who i am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a crap. Good guildie? TROLL YOU, go to guild chat and play with your recruits. You want to merchant here. Confirm. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse you snipe-chasers. You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a /tell? You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, the items you got and make myself 15k ce. Tonight. IN 2 HOURS. Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise. A.I.D.A. Get mad you son-of-a-noobs. GET MAD. You know what it takes to sell inventory?" *Obscene imagery* "It takes brass balls to sell inventory. Go and do likewise gents. The CE is out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't i got no sympathy for ya. You want to go out there on those /whispers (/tells) tonight and Confirm. CONFIRM, it's yours. If not? Then your gonna be shining my Wings. And you know what you'll be saying? Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar, 'oh yeah, i used to be a merchant. It's a tough racket.'. *Pulls out bazaar forum nodes, and tradechat mssgs* "These are the new leads. These are the 'PawnRommil leads. And to you, they're gold......And you don't get them....Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away." *Hands the leads to Pawn's mist crafting alt* "They're for Confirmers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it."

*Walks back over to knight#2 @ the fountain, picks up Prism halo and puts it back on*
"And to answer your question pal, why am i here? I came here because the Alpha Squad asked me to-they asked me for a favor-i said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your Trolling butt because a loser is a loser."

*Pawn leaves the room*

TL:DR
I went back in time and made a youtube approximation of my post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUqo5tPZjrM

P.S. The Knights in the story are not you guys, my fellow knights of spiral knights. They are the chumps in the youtube link.