Spiral Knights - A New Fanfic, Seciles’s Revenge

A New Fanfic, Seciles’s Revenge

9 replies [Last post]

Mon, 07/09/2012 - 19:14

Soul-Bringer

First off, i only constructive criticism or just random complements and stuff. I will eventually have people submit character bios but first i want to get the plot thickened up a bit. Ill update the story 1 chapter every 10 days ish sometimes more or less. So far this is what i got.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Seciles’s Revenge, Prologue~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My name is Blaze, well my codename is and a week ago I was space traveling. Now I’m fighting beasts and jellies. That’s right, Jellies. Anyway back to the story, I was on a spaceship called the S.S Vanguard when it was hit by a laser. In a shorter version of this story, it blew up… I was able to get away using my escape pod and I crash-landed on a planet. Unfortunately, it happened to be Cradle.
Chapter 1: The Rusted Brandish
The pod landed in an old cemetery. I got out and went up a hill near the graveyard and saw a rusted sword on a grave, I thought to myself, “I wouldn’t take that in 50 years!” I turned around and saw a pale white skeleton wielding a rusty Brandish, I ignored it. I was about to walk away but then the exits closed off! There wasn’t a way out in plain sight, so I climbed a giant statue. I was going to jump over the gates, but then I realized I was climbing a Trojan statue and it started to move. I leaped away right when it was trying to stab me. I landed and quickly drew my Dran Model, an updated Proto Sword basically, and charged it. Big mistake, I was shield-bashed…. In the face. So I flanked him, I immediately saw a purple gemstone on his back; I thought it wasn’t important and aimed for the legs. Another mistake, my sword broke on contact. Before it could swing around and slash me into bits, I took a step back and feigned to the right. I saw the rusted Brandish and had an idiotic thought. I ran towards it again and when I tried to hit me with its shield, I slid under it and struck the gemstone. The Trojan quickly reverted back into stone. “You didn’t see anything.” said Blaze to the dead Trojan.
Meanwhile, in the Great Colony, other things were happening. Vog was a gremlin orphan after his parents died from a Spiral Knight raid about 20 years ago. Now, he wanted revenge on all the knights and planned to destroy their home planet, and he probably could have, being a gremlin leader, but he had a problem.
“I wanted to destroy the Knights when It was June, Now it’s May!” said Vog
“Sir, we have no crystal energy!” said Vog’s butler, Gan
“I know already idiot! Now why are you here, if it isn’t important, I’ll send you away with my hammer!”
“Spiral Knights have reached Cradle’s surface, sir.”
“This should be fun, then.” said Vog with a slight grin.
“Other news, your girlfriend has arrived a minute ago.”
“She isn’t a girlfriend, she’s someone from my childhood!” Vog bickered.
“Okay, Sir, whatever you say..” said Gan with a smile on his face.
“Get out now!”

seems kinda short... :P remember constructive crit >:O

Mon, 07/09/2012 - 19:38

Myqpalzm

Another fanfic...

Its a bit short. You should use more in Enter. Learn more from other fanfic. But actually, the story is interesting. I thought the only ship that crashed on Cradle is Skylark. Anyway, its just a fanfic.

Mon, 07/09/2012 - 20:55

Nechrome

BLITZHAWK *hint hint*

._.

Interesting. Seems I'm not the only guy who thinks there's more than one Spiralian ship. The Vanguard. Now, that's a good name for a ship.

Mon, 07/09/2012 - 21:00

Soul-Bringer

oh hai

Hewro Necro, check ur email :3

and myqpalzm, the next ones are gonna be longer prbly, about 2-3 paragraphs moar. I also dont want to take the fame for this, my friend uses this account when i dont craft with it, so this is his fanfic.

Necro, i saw that subject >:O

dont tell them that

Mon, 07/09/2012 - 21:05

Nechrome

i CHECKED MY EMAIL AND derp

i CHECKED MY EMAIL AND derp my keyboard is still on caps lock from chatting with my friend. Check yer email.

So, the guy writing this story is your friend who uses your crafting alt? Om nom nom.

Tue, 07/10/2012 - 12:32

Soul-Bringer

mhm

YES NECRO, THAT PERSON IS MY FRIEND WHICH USES MY CRAFTING ALT AS AN ACCOUNT. BLARG

Tue, 07/17/2012 - 18:23

Soul-Bringer

Chapter 2- Haven

After 3 hours, the gates finally went down. I didn’t need to go back to the escape pod because there was nothing there, so I kept going. I saw a rusty elevator, it was old, but it looked like it would work. The elevator had a button with “Go back to Haven” printed on it. “Haven?” I asked myself. A voice said “It was a base camp for the Spiral Knights 23 years ago, idiot!” I responded by shouting “Shut up!” Then I turned around and saw an old gremlin. The gremlin greeted me and I answered with a “Hello?” My name is Dairsei, please follow me.
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you later, follow me.”
A few moments later, I arrived at Dairsei’s house. She offered me some tea and said it was good for wounds.
“I need to tell you about something” said Dairsei.
“What are you trying to tell me?” said Blaze.
“Vog, the current gremlin leader, made a giant beam cannon, It was designed to destroy your home planet by shooting through its core.”
“Why does he want to destroy it?”
“20 years ago, Vog’s parents died when the Spiral Knights invaded the Great Colony. Tinkinzar was about to retire from his royal position and Vog’s father was going to become king. There was an inheritance ceremony. Then, those Spiral Knights crashed in and killed countless gremlins including Vog’s parents. He is out for vengeance and will accomplish that from destroying your home. Luckily for you, he only has the technology for collecting mist energy and it takes a while for it to convert to crystal energy.”
“Why doesn’t he just use mist instead crystal energy?”
“Because traveling with mist isn’t very efficient and traveling with crystal energy is much easier. Also, I have noticed that Spiral Knight suits are very advanced than the old ones.”
“Yeah, the suits can convert extra mist to crystal energy making it more conservative. One more thing, what is this?” said Blaze holding a pot.
“That’s a fire pot! Crap!”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I dropped it!”
Luckily, I didn’t burn up. However…. “I’m on fire, help me already!” said Dairsei. I took the tea pot and put Dairsei out. “Get out..” said Dairsei. As she was pushing me out the door, she told me to use the elevator, put energy inside and press go to haven. Then, I was outside again. I was about to say “Thank you, Sorry or HEY! Or all of the above, but the door was gone.
Since the trip to the elevator was eventful, I don’t feel like talking about it. How to describe Haven other than desolate, ugly or dark, it was empty. I went to the nearest house. First I checked the cupboards for supplies or a shield (since I left mine in the Vanguard) but I only saw weird stuff. I found some goodies in the back because it was a workshop. I took sandpaper and sanded the Brandish and was going to leave when I found something. It was a recipe book belonging……to my father.

Remember, constructive crit, tell me if this isnt long enough or short enough. Gimmie suggestions tooz.

Mon, 07/23/2012 - 18:58

Soul-Bringer

._.

Is anyone reading this.

Mon, 07/23/2012 - 19:41

Luguiru

Someone is somewhere

I can read it tonight/day/something, hopefully after this headache goes away.

Apparently headbutting people in the gut is not a polite activity.

Thu, 08/02/2012 - 16:06

Soul-Bringer

Delay

For anyone who is reading this fanfic, chapters might take a little longer to post cuz of school. It may take around 2 weeks to post chapters now or more.

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A New Fanfic, Seciles’s Revenge