The story of Myqpalzm (Chapter 3 is out!)

Hey, guys! Actually, I want to make a fanfic but I don't have an idea. So, this great idea came out of my mind. You have to know that I'm sucks at making story like this so expect some grammar error.
Myqpalzm presents...
The Story of Myqpalzm! !
---------------Prologue---------------
"I'm bored!" says me when playing Super Mario Bros. on Gameboy.
"I want something new!" after I say that, my brother came out of his room.
"What is it?" says my brother.
"I want to play another game that are hard to play." says me while going to my room and turn on my laptop.
"Wanna search through the internet, huh? If you got a cool game, tell me." my brother answered.
Then, I search for popular MMOG and found Spiral Knights.
"Looks boring, but worth a look"
I checked the SK site and take a look at the video. Looks fast. I don't thing my laptop can handle that.
"I should try playing it."
Then, I begin downloading it.
A few minute later, the game has done downloading.
I logged in with my account that I have made.
I begin making my character. The most hard part of making char is... Name.
I really confused by the name because all of my favorite name has already been used.
Then, I got a weird name, "Myqpalzm. That's a bit weird but I think its good." I laughed.
My knight's personal color should be orange because its my favorite color.
Then, I made my character and press "Create".
"Here we go. This is going to be fun!" says me.
---------------Chapter 1 out now---------------

Cool? I don't even think my story is cool. Its very short. Anyway, I'm making chapter 1 now.

---------------Chapter 1: First Step---------------
"What the..." says me while looking in a round metal.
"Escape pod maybe." Said my brother in my back.
I got suprised when my brother said that.
"How long have you been here?"
"A few minute ago." said my brother.
Then, I start playing and my brother helped me when I got really confused.
After more than 10 minute playing Spiral Knights, I reached the Rescue Camp.
"They make resting place using escape pod?" says my brother.
"Yeah. I think their fate are the same with my knight." answered me.
"Look! Its a cool knight that talked to us before we made it here. What's his name again?" said my brother.
"Rhendon." answered me.
I made it to a mission that have to use my bomb (I forgot the name).
Then, I go to "Crossing the Chasm" mission.
"The only way to get to Haven is to cross the chasm." said me.
---------------Chapter 2 coming soon---------------

Looks good. Been a while since I read a good biography. There were a few grammatical mistakes in there but overall, I enjoyed reading it.

write it up :P I use Microsoft word. The main mistake i think is tense, and that's pretty easy to spot :P Anyway, nice story :P you don't often get ones like these, or at least i don't read them.

I know there will be some grammar mistake.That's because I never check my work twice :P. I will fix the mistake later. Also, I will try to write it on Ms. Word.
I will make chapter 2 now.

---------------Chapter 2: Crossing the Chasm---------------
The elevator has stopped, time for the real challenge.
My knight has stepped out from the elevator and kills monsters very fast.
"My knight is strong! But Rhendon is much stronger." said me, jealous.
"You will get better equipment later, right?" said my brother.
"Yeah, you right." answered me.
After a few minute, a gremlin named Razwog showed up.
"That should be the boss on this mission." Said me
After a conversation with the gremlin and a monsters fight, I got the generator for the camp.
"Victory is ours!" said my brother, happily.
"There are still one more floor before we made it to Haven." Said me.
"Then, what are you waiting for? Lets go!" said my brother.
--------------- Chapter 3 coming soon---------------

Good job. Might wanna say that ch2 is out in the title.

---------------Chapter 3: Hot Situation---------------
"Here it is. The last floor." said my brother.
"I know." said me.
After a few fight, once again Razwog showed up.
Razwog said that Rhendon have to give the generator or Razwog will blow the place.
Rhendon decided to give the generator to Razwog.
"No!" said me.
After Rhendon give the generator, he detonated every bombs in there.
"He lied to Rhendon, right?" said me.
No answer.
Then, I see my back. My brother is not in my back. I think he go somewhere.
Back to the game. After the bombs exploded, I escaped the place.
After I get out from the place, I see more knights that are waiting for me, especially Feron.
Lieutenant Feron is in the front of the elevator to Haven.
After Feron talked with me, I go to the elevator and proceed to Haven.
"I thing Haven is gonna be very cool!" said me.
---------------Chapter 4 coming soon---------------

I'm making chapter 4 right now, but there are no other post after I published Chapter 3. So, I only want to post another chapter every 2 post.

Make next chapta NOA¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!!¡!¡!¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---------------Chapter 4: Welcome to Haven---------------
My knight has made it into the other side of the rescue camp.
"This is what they call Haven? It doesn't look like a town, but a camp!" said me
Then, I see a long stair.
"I thing that's where the town located" said me.
After I get into the top of the stair, I see a beautiful town in front of me.
"Wow." said me.
I decided to go explore Haven.
When I was walking in front of the Auction House, I saw many cool knight.
In the Bazaar, there are many creature called Stranger.
They sell many weapons and armors.
After I buy many equipment, I proceed to the mission.
Almost all of the mission is just a boring conversation.
But, I read them all.
After I completed all of it, the real mission has been unlocked.
"I think I should go to Sky under Cradle mission before I do the other one" said me.
Then, I pressed Start.
Sadly, there are no available party right now.
So, I started another party and go solo.
"This is going to be piece of cake!" said me.

lol nice job, I saw some grammar mistakes but still great job :D
Cool