Spiral Knights - Dr. G.H.Ret's "How the hell does that function?!" ask thread on all things Clockworkian

Dr. G.H.Ret's "How the hell does that function?!" ask thread on all things Clockworkian

8 replies [Last post]

Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:48

Ghret

<_Session_01 Begin
GH: Is this thing on? Is it on? The lights are blinking. Does that mean its on?
NK: Yes.
: *exasperation*
: That means that the thing is on.
GH: Excellent! I assume this means that you've activated the AV-feed?
NK: Sort of.
GH: Sort of? What do you mean, sort of? Either the system is active or it isn't.
NK: I mean that Audio part is working; but the Video part is...
GH: What's wrong with the Video part? I swear if Bosco ripped me off with a broken A-Pad, just so that he could-
NK: No! It's not his fault at all!
GH: Then whose fault is it?!
NK: Well... You are the one who bought it.
GH: *incredulity*
: Are, are you insinuating that this is my fault?
NK: I mean, just look at the thing.
GH: Okay, I'm looking at it.
: What am I looking for?
NK: What can you tell me about the interfaces pitted aroubnd its sides?
GH: Well... There are omni-directional miscrophones at each end, for capturing sound no doubt, and these recessed grooves inbetween the microphones, can't imagine what they're for.
NK: And what else?
GH: Nothing. There's nothing. So how does it recieve visua- Ooohh.
NK: Exactly.
GH: Well... Guess I'm an idiot.
NK: *cheerful*
: Guess you are.
: So... Do you still want to do this?
GH: I've gotten this far, why the hell not?
NK: *extra cheerful*
: Yay!
GH: To all those who have listened to this, let me expplain what is going to happen.
NK: We want one million in Crystal Energy or we'll-
*NK is pushed away by GH*
: Hey what's that for?
GH: Ignore her. Anyway.
: I understand that there are many, many, many Knights out there who, whilst being paragons of fighting valour, have little-to-no understading of the weapons we use, or the mechanics behind some of our systems, nor even the items we pick up in the Clockworks!
: Therefore I am now creating this thread within the Forum section of the LAN system Spiral HQ has set up, so that any Knights may ask me anything concerning this world or our own.
: So, ask away fellow brothers and sisters. Let Dr. G.H.Ret - unofficial Scientist,Explorer and more by (unofficial) command of Feron himself! - fuflfill your intellectual needs!
: And if anyone wants to ask anything, and I do mean anything, about me or my many illustrious achievements, well, who am I to deny such people what they so obviously want?
NK: God! You are such an egomaniac!
GH: Don't you have a wolver to skin or something?
NK: Don't you have a Big Angry Bomb to stop exploding or something?
GH: What are you talking a bout?
*high-pitched whistling sound increases in frequency*
:Oh &*^$%
*GH runs off around the corner*
NK: *quiet chuckle*
: He's so silly. Well, better upload this. Cya later guys!
<_Session_01 End

Okay guys/girls/others, let me clear some stuff up so nobody gets it wrong. What we have here is a question thread. You post questions, preferably on mechanics/items of the Clockworks/ Dr. G.H.Ret, and I'll try to answer them as fully as I can through My player-character - G.H.Ret - and his wolver-tailed 'helper'. So! Just to re-iterate: You ask questions; I answer them in-character; We all get a laugh. Got it? Good. Have Fun! ... Also, All out-of-character posts will be written in the font you are currently reading at this very moment.

Wed, 08/15/2012 - 07:52

Angelic-Tear

Isn't this,

just like HowStuffWorks thread?

Wed, 08/15/2012 - 11:58

Ghret

In essence. However, I will

In essence. However, I will make every attempt to make my explanations/responses as humorous as they are explanatory.

Sat, 08/18/2012 - 05:02

Angelic-Tear

Hey, lets see.

How does a shield pigment the energy dome, and how can it pigment it red, when there is no functioning shield?
How to trinkets work?
How do Alchemers work? (Don't think it's been said)
How bombheads flame without burning down the wick? Tho, I think even if they did they wouldn't blow up.
How can gear speed your movement up?
How can helms help gunning, or any other task that isn't connected to the helm?
How do shard/splinter/dark matter/crystalbombs work?
How do gravaiton/ electron bombs work?
How do Dark retributions work?

I asked this to the other thread as well. :D Bonus:

Recon, striker and guardian mods.

Sat, 08/18/2012 - 09:00

Ghret

Oh my! Well, guess I did ask

Oh my! Well, guess I did ask for this. So, time to get crack-alackin' with some Muzak, Russian Style! Internet connection, don't fail me now.

{{How does a shield pigment the energy dome, and how can it pigment it red, when there is no functioning shield?}}

<_Session_02 Begin
NK: Hmm?
: *NK looks closely at screen*
: Ghret! You've got a question!
*GH skids into view*
*GH skids out of view*
*GH falls flat on his face into view*
GH: Is that true?!
NK: Yep. Sure looks like it.
GH: Excellent! I'm sorry to the rest of the people eagerly reading this thread, but I'm afraid that my guns will have to wait another time.
NK: For the love of Vog! No-one's cares about your damned modified guns Ghret!
GH: Hahaha. Of course they do silly Kat.
NK: I'm a Wolver!
GH: Who care's? Not me!
: Now, onto the ardous task of enlightening a poor young Knights mind.
: The first problem here is you thinking that the shield is is a pigment. That is a big no-no. What you perceive as a pigment, is the shield itself. It's just that as the shield takes damage it's colour moves from blue to orange to red. When the shield is at red it means that the coherence of the shield is so low that any attacks can get through it, conversely when the coherence of the shield is high a blue light is emitted.
: The coherence itself is the frequency at which the shield vibrates, the more damage the shield takes, the more its frequency red-shifts. This is because the energy dome created is maintained by a generator which cycles the shield constantly to make sure that it absorb damage fully, not partially.
: Although, I suppose it may be possible to create a shield which doesn't cycle, thereby making it last longer the cost of not absorbing damage fully.
: Wolver-girl! Put that on the list of stuff to invent: "A shield which doesn't cycle its energy barrier".
NK: Do you even know my name?
GH: Anywho, all of that boils down to: the shield is a constantly oscillating barrier of energy; when it takes damage its frequency slows; this change of frequency is what "pigments" the shield; when the frequency gets low enough the oscillation "breaks" and become nothing more than a technicolour light-show; eventually the generator will build up enough cycles to put up a coherent shield.
NK: Speaking of technicolour light-shows, look at what I made!
: *NK shoves a Proto-shield into GH's face*
GH: Well done. You crafted a proto-shield, despite the fact that we don't have recipes for that. How did you make that?
NK: I made it out of yours!
GH: Youwhat?
NK: Anyway, that's not the awesome thing I wanted to show you. Watch.
: *NK turns a dial behind the shield and sets it on the floor*
*The shield starts emitting a technicolour light-show in all the colours of the rainbow.*
NK: Amazing, huh?
: *Cat smile*
GH: How-?
NK: I plugged a data-jack into the shield generator and set it to do this fancy thing whenever you pressed 'go'. You can even program new light-shows if you really want to.
GH: When-?
NK: And I even had time to put in a Stereo system into it. Check it out!
: *NK stamps on the shield and some funky music starts blaring out.*
: *NK starts busting some well wicked moves whilst GH looks on, utterly confused as to what he is observing*
GH: Well... this has occurred, in its entirety.
*NK keeps on dancing, oblivious to GH.*
GH: I think now is a good time to end this session.
<_Session_02 End

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 10:08

Ghret

{{How to trinkets

<_Session_03 Begin
*Intermittent screaming is heard throughout*
NK: Oooh, seems like we've got another question. Ghret, Do you mind if I take this one? I mean, you are incapacitated from all those Blaze Pep-
GH: NO! JUST DO IT! AAARRGGH!
NK: Okay then. Just give me a minute to remember how they work.
: Hmm.
: If I remember correctly, each trinket works on their own principles. So I guess I'll have to explain each of their lines individually.

<_Post_editing: Collating audio into separate headings

Katnip Pouches
: First off is my favourite; The Katnip Pouches.
: *Takes out Purrfect Katnip Pouch*
: These are my favourite! For obvious reasons.
: *Cat smile-wink*
: Just keep it around yourself and every time you take a sniff you'll immediately wake up. Of course you can choose to eat it, that'll really wake you up. I really like that, although Ghret says that I'm not allowed that for some reason.
GH: IT'S BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU HYPERACTIVE!
NK: Oh yeah. Because they make Kats really angry.
GH: THAT'S BECAUSE ALL KATS ARE ANGRY!
NK: Whatever you say, sir.

Silver Amulets
NK: What's next? Hmm... What about Silver Amulets? They seem pretty.
: *Takes out Blessed Silver Amulet*
: From what I can feel when I wear them, it seems as though a benevolent spirit has blessed them. I suppose that's why they repel curses.
: *Throws Blessed Silver Amulet away*
: Don't know where Brinks gets them from though.

Hearthstone Pendants
NK: The next Trinket I want to talk about though is Hearthstone Pendants.
: *Takes out Toasty Hearthstone Pendant*
: These ones work just like having a miniature hearth on you at all times, definitely keeps the freeze off you. Just beware that it doesn't burn you, that's something which I learnt the hard way.
: But of course Ghret doesn't care, he just breaks them open and uses the insides to make heating coils and the like. When he gets burnt I won't be standing by with some Frost Gel.

Wood Bracelets
NK: What next? Ah, how about Wood Bracelets?
: *Takes out Wyrmwood Bracelet*
: These work by insulating and grounding the Knight, nothing else to say about them. Although, Ghret says that disobeys "several laws of reality" and busts them up trying to figure out how they work; he especially likes these Wyrmwood ones though, don't know why.
: I myself use them to stop myself getting electrocuted whenever I'm harvesting Static Clingers.

Skelly Charms
NK: *Sigh*
: Might as well get these out of the way.
: *Takes out, and holds at arms length, a Sinister Skelly Charm*
: These creepy things stop you getting hurt by Shadow damage by absorbing it themselves, thankfully they don't appear to get stronger for doing so.
: Don't know why Ghret keeps them around.
GH: FOR SCIENCE!

Crystal Pins
NK: Whatever. Where was I?
: *Flings Sinister Skelly Charm away*
: Oh-yeah. I was talking about Crystal Pins!
: *Takes out Radiant Crystral Pin and places it into Tail*
: These things glow so bright that they refract any energy attacks fired at it into harmless light.
: I like them because they're so shiny. He hates them because they're too shiny.

Jelly Bands
NK: What next piece of fashion should I show? I guess I could show Jelly Bands.
: *Pulls out Jelly Bands*
: These things are definitely made from Jellies - don't know how Brink gets them in this shape though - which means that they basically just do their Jelly thing to piercing things to stop you from being turned into pin-cushiony things
: Look way too tacky to wear, but they do help to add flavour to Rock Salt Stew.
: *Puts Jelly Bands away*

Wetstone Pendants
NK: I guess I should get these things out of they shouldn't I? *sigh*
: *Takes out a pair of Soaking Wetstone Pendants*
: These things basically just make the air so moist that any fire either won't ignite, or struggle to stay lit.
GH: THAT'S NOT HOW THEY WORK!
NK: I don't care! You're not doing the explanation and these things are making my fur wet!
*NK slings them over the wall and into GH's face*
GH: OH GOOD LORD! IT'S IN MY FACE!

White Laurels
NK: I guess the next things to talk about should be White Laurels.
: *Brings out a pair of White Laurels*
NK: These leafy things seem to counteract poison with their very presence, don't know how though, and I very much doubt that Brinks would tell me.
: Hey Ghret! Can you figure out how Laurels work?
GH: AAARRGH!
NK: Oh well.
: *Chows down on the White Laurels*
: Taste like super mint!

Modules
NK: As for those Modules that brute King Krogmo sells, the only thing I know about them is that the Focus Modules help to channel energy - or accelerate the MIU impulses faster.
: The others, I don't have a clue. Ghret always keeps the Mod Calibrators to break up to see how they work. He's certain that they work on hacked Spirilian Tech.
GH: THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!
NK: Well it's not anymore!
GH: GODDAMNIT WOLVERGIRL!

Heart Pendants & Love Lockets
NK: And again, whatever!
: Anywho, the last thing on the list of Trinkets I've got here are Heart Pendants. Now, I would just like to remind everyone the difference between Heart Pendants and Love Lockets.
: Love Lockets are borne from the remains of a slain Love Puppy.
: Heart Pendants are made from Enamorock and Krogmo's Machine.
: They both fulfill the same position of generating a feeling of being loved that enables us to carry on through even the most terrible of wounds-
GH: LOVE CAN'T HEAL BEHEADINGS!
NK: Shut up! I'm being poetic!
: But only a Love Locket can impart the true feeling of care, borne from something whose love transcends space and time and even the boundaries of love itself.
: *NK begins to sniffle*
*Screams peter out around this point*
*Inquisitive robotic buzz-click is heard off-screen*
NK: Nah, I'm okay Kleft. Just remembering.
GH: I think now is the time to end this session.
<_Session_03 End

Wed, 08/22/2012 - 11:05

Ghret

{{How do Alchemers work?

<_Session_04 Begin
GH: Another one? Guess people can't get enough of me.
: All of them work off the exact same body. Just remove the energy container underneath the barrel of any Alchemer Mark I and then you'll have the basic stock to create create your own Alchemer!
: Strongly recommend against this though, if you don't know what you're doing then your liable to blow yourself up, or worse.
So leave it the professionals, like me.
: Talking about energy containers, allow me to explain the full importance of them.
: You see, whilst the Alchemer body is able to tolerate the stresses of having that much power pouring through it - thanks in no small part to its simple and sturdy design - the true power lies in the types of energy containers connected to it, and what type they are.
: Whilst it is relatively easy to just craft and attach new containers to the body, which will increase its power linearly, along with secondary materials to ensure its integrity is ensured, combining energy tanks is dangerous as all hell and generally leads to explosions when the trigger is depressed. Which is why you never do that. Unless you're me.
: So, recap!
: Alchemers work by having containers of various types of energy attached to them - more tanks mean more power - and mixing tanks generally means explosions. The tanks themselves are usually shards floating within a medium of liquids, so that the differential energy change is maximised to its fullest potential - well, as much as possible - and provide the energy type to be channelled through the Alchemer itself.
: Now, onto something much more important and more than just tangentially so.
: *GH brandishes a utterly over-modified and complicated Gun of unknown origins. It appears to have the barrels of other guns attached to it lie flush with the rest of the body, so that the whole thing resembles an extremely large, unwieldy Antigua*
: Yeah, I have to hold this thing with both hands, see here?
: *GH shows the handles at the rear and on top*
: This is where I need to stabilise it so that it doesn't fly off. Now, let me show you what it can do-
*Kleft walks into view*
GH: What the hell is that thing?
*Kleft builds up a static charge and aims at the screen*
GH: Wolvergirl! Wolvergirl! Your pet is being weird agai-
*Kleft releases charge and hits-

<_ WARNING! DAMAGE INCURRED! _>

<_ Shutting down
<_ Ending Session_04
<_ Saving alldata
<_ Entering repair mode
<_ Shut down
<_ End.exe

Mon, 08/27/2012 - 18:53

Ghret

Changing to standard story

Changing to standard story format for now whilst the A-Pad is repairing itself.

'Goddamnit,' Ghret started, 'you mechanical piece of Kleptolisk-'
'Hey!' Nekomi intterupted,'What are you saying about Kleft?'
'He blew up the damn A-Pad, Wolvergirl!'
Nekomi took one look at the smoking remains of the thing and then looked Ghret straight in his face, 'So what?'
Whilst it is true that Wolver helms block most of the wearers personality with their covering, the sheer incredulity in his voice could not be denied, 'I spent over one hundred thousand Crowns on that thing. Do even know how much that is?'
Nekomi just kept looking him straight in the eye-level and shrugged. 'It's only that much because you never ever do any real work.' Ghret responded to this statement of his less than excellent fighting as he always did, by spasming and then blacking out, his mind refusing to deal with it.
Nekomi let out a sigh before dragging his rigor-struck body to pile of sacks and left him to recover.
Guess it's up to me to finish up his "question-time" thread, she thought as she undid the clasps on one of the many Toughbox computers and booted it up. She cracked her knuckles, minding that they did not accidentally activate her Spurs, and navigated the thread where his questions where posted.

'Okay, this guy wants to why Bombheads don't explode. Easy.' She then quickly tapped out her answer. 'Dear, Mr. Angelic-Tear, the reason why Bombheads don't explode is because the wick is fake! Silly Mr, Angelic-Tear. It's made out of metal and a holo-emitter. See?' Pressing enter she sent here reply disguised as Ghret, He really should log himself off of some of these things, she thought as she brought up the next question.

'How can gear speed your movement up?', was what the next question said. I wonder why Ghret always complains about this? This is easy!
'The only things which speed up movement is the Mercurial set. And the set does so because it is a very special set. The helm generates an electro-magnetic field which accelerates all neuron activity in your mind, it speeds up your perceptions so that your movements are no longer confined by them. The suit itself is just a straight-up combination of suit servos being supercharged by the massive generator on its back, resulting in twitch-reflexes. Hard to get used to, but you'll eventually get used to cracking your glass when you hold.' And with another cheery tap, she sent another answer to the thread.

'Another question? This one about how can helms help with various thingies? No problem!'
'Certain helms have in-built software-hardware packages installed. These packages can do anything from identify general or monster specific weaknesses and highlight them for the wearer. Others just provide helpful hints as to how to get the full damage potential from your weapon. There are even some Helms which interface with the weapon directly to increase their attributes. I am doing some things with sticking several packages in one helmet, but most of them end up sploding :(' And then the answer was sent off with another tap of the enter key.

She looked back at the corner where she had put Ghret and as sure as as the Clockworks kept spinnin' he was left in his state of rigor. Except now Kleft was attending him with sniffs and licks. She laughed inwardly at this and let a small smile grow as she turned back to the terminal.

'Okay, this person wants to learn how those crystal bombs work. Shouldn't be that hard.'
'The Dark Matter, Salt, Crystal and the other lines of bombs which work upon the principal of crystalline structures exploding also, surprisingly, work almost-exactly the same as each other! They all shatter into charged pieces which then shatter in turn. The only difference between them is the composition of the crystal. And what the shaped charge is made of is also something which changes a lot. All of these differences add up to a very different reaction every time!'

'And the next question is about, bombs! Ooh, the gravitron and Electron ones to be exact.' Nekomi took a step back and contemplated on what she knew about these mysterious bombs, 'Hmm.' She thought back about all the things she knew about these mysterious artifacts. They were made from similar materials, with just a few differences, but just enough to change what energy they emit. And both of them were based on unconventional science and methods, one followed those of darkness and mystery, the other follows a science whose fundamentals aren't fully understood. But now how could she express it in a way which could fully express the sheer inability to comprehend the workings of these mysterious devices. And then, it hit her.
'Lol. It's magic, silly! =^.^='

She took a step and did some stretches. She never truly understood why he was so cranky whenever he finished stooping over his computers, but now she knew. And then she saw that there was one final question left to be answered, a question about dark retributors. Making an audible groan she went over and stabbed at the keys, wishing to get this over with.
'Since these things have not been created by us, and actually been discovered in the stratums of the Crimson Order, we don't know how the hell this damn thing works. And after the fifth time getting my hide set on darkfire I very much doubt that anyone is going to find out how it works without dying in the process. Do you even know how hard it is to wash out Darkfire?! It's very friggin' hard! I needed to find a Sprite to get rid of it!!' As she stabbed the enter key she almost immediately regretted it. But right now she was cranky and needed a catnap. As she stalked off, one final question flashed on screen:

Tue, 08/28/2012 - 16:18

Ghret

'Goddamn it! How long was I

'Goddamn it! How long was I out?' As Ghret came out of his stupor the first thing he did was stretch and look for wolvergirl. Usually she would be using him as a impromptu bed and when he woke up there would ensue a very loud argument about personal boundaries and the like. But now there was no sign of her, nor even the whirs and buzzes of that damned Kleptolisk which always seems to be everywhere.
From the side of his eye he saw the glow of an active Toughbox computer. He had no recollection of opening one up, but he still went over and saw the statement blinking on the screen.
{{Recon, striker and guardian mods.}}
Letting his hands hover over the keyboard he thought about just ending the threads right then. He had way too many things to experiment with, and not enough time to waste on banal questions.
That was a lie. The only work he ever did was wildly speculative modifications that never yielded anything which could be used by the wider Spiral Order. He would never be able to live up to the great adventurer-scientist like Avlein or Guyinshinyarmour.
Letting out a sigh he began typing out his reply. Might as well do something useful.

'The Strike Booster is just that a set of equipment which envelopes the user in field which accelerates their movement for a short while. The lightness of the booster means that it is extremely easier to swing swords; although the shape of the booster also means that it is slightly harder to arm bombs... it also means that you shouldn't depend on it to intercept any damage.'

'The Guardian Shield is, as expected, used by Spiral Guardians. But I'm sure that you already knew that, I'm also sure that you are more interested in how these things perform their duty, correct? I'll assume I'm correct and continue. Whilst I am not privy to the internal workings of these shields, I have observed them long enough to discover how they operate. As can be expected of a shield designed to be the pinnacle of all shields, its construction is of peerless quality. Thus leading to its massive shield strength. But the real strength of the shields lies in the fact that they can project their shield onto other Knights in an expanded radius. This is achieved through a resonance effect which the Spiral Order had developed long ago. This technology allows a shield to broadcast a signal which resonates with other shields, essentially allowing the Guardian Shield to not only enhance, but also surpass the shield barriers of other Knights. Also, the weight and shape of the shield may help or hinder the usage of certain weapons.'

'And Recon Cloaks work by having the backpack shield the Knight by turning the shield barrier into a light-refracting one. The Shield helps to shape the barrier; it is also where the Recon Marks originate from. These "marks" are actually shield-pattern disruption pulses; the first mark makes shield -barriers wobble, the second one makes the shield collapse for a few seconds. And once again, the shape and weight of the shield will make using certain weapons harder or easier.'

As he typed in those last words and hammered the enter key, he thought about what he was doing. All those failed experiments. He took a long, hard look at himself and said, 'I need more Rocket Hammers.' And so he went off to his "private" Elevator and descended to the depths to seek Gremlin and steal their stuff to make his Rocket Hammers. And when Nekomi came back from here catnap with Kleft in tow, and saw that Ghret was nowhere to be found, gave a shrug and sauntered up into the depths of the clockworks, to steal from Knights and Gremlins alike.

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Dr. G.H.Ret's "How the hell does that function?!" ask thread on all things Clockworkian