Spiral Knights - Entertaining LD excuses

Entertaining LD excuses

34 replies [Last post]

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 05:29

Sir-Didymus

I took a short break from the game and have come back to play a bit of lockdown lately. "Shockingly" the game is still full of complaining, rage, and excuses. So it made me wonder has anyone heard any good LD excuses. I am not talking about the normal whining and complaining such as: Lag, spammer, you have 4 bars, or the mysterious “phantom range”. I am looking for quality reasons to die regardless of the skill of the other team.

The best I can come up with is when I used to play with a controller from time to time my kid would walk past and pull the cord out.

I may toss in a prize for the best excuse you have made or heard another player make.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 05:59

Canine-Vladmir

i believe there is already a thread for this but I might be wrong....

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 06:16

Fallenhope

Lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag Lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag Lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag Lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag Lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag Lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag Lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag Lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag

You are so lazy you didn't read all the "lag"s above and you also didn't notice one of them is "Log"! Now you're trying to find the "log"! And you're disappointed because you didn't find it. *trollface*

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 06:23

Sir-Didymus

Canine- saw something close

Canine- saw something close but it appeared to be mostly whining about lag and spam: see fallenhope's response above for an example.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 06:24

Fallenhope

Kinda dated, but

Not-Jim-Dale is not amused by the troll by Not-Jim-Dale.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 06:25

Sir-Didymus

Not-jim-dale will forever be

Not-jim-dale will forever be tied to these forums.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 06:48

Enclavean

@Fallenhope: The thing is....people who lag badly gets so annoyed that they just cuss at lag openly. Its kinda of someone relieves them of the frustration of dying not because of lack of skills, but just because they happen to have a bad connection to the server.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 06:56

Canozo

"You AA hammer spammer!!!!! you noob!!!!!!111!1"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFtBiAhXNE4

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 07:28

Trollingyou

Lag can be a real issue

Especially in large amounts, you'll find out that the spur line is not the only line that can shoot you at gun shot distance with the normal swing...

Other than that, the 9001 threads on LD balancing bring up valid points.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 07:58

Rangerwillx

Once, I unfroze a guy with a alchemer shot.
It didn't damage him.
I wus like wut da frack!?
Dat's the deal wit alchamaz, dey dun alweys du wut yu wurnt.
Another one is that sometimes my 5 yo brother puts the computer to sleep.
Nuuu.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 08:04

#10

Sir-Didymus

Why is that key with a moon

Why is that key with a moon on it so appealing to children? I have been struck by that one also.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 08:28

#11

Bella-Donna

One match someone says "no

One match someone says "no body move! I am DCing" xD

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 08:49

#12

Serell

LOL

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:05

#13

Wodanct

Lag and phantom range are

Lag and phantom range are somewhat valid excuses if they are running on a low end computer or bad connection. Lockdown is one of the most resource heavy things in SK especially if you are in a big match. Unsure what causes phantom range besides the SK client failing to update peoples spots correctly when told by the server where people are but meh. I prefer reading the excuses about trinkets, armor, and shock UVs.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 12:28

#14

Derperer

Hmm

Invisible mist bombs and "valiance is spamming".

~Bobxloblaw aka Steph

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 14:07

#15

Nhabotuax

Best I've ever heard

It must have been when a "pro" skolver got shot by me and said: what the hell? I dudn't walk there my jeyboard is just lagging cause the battery is low.

I loved that excuse so much that I can still remember it about 3 months later

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 14:33

#16

Midnight-Wing

Voltdege Charge....

When i was a noob to T3 LD (still, somewhat am) all i had was dusker, gigawatt and Voltegde, so i decided to charge Voltegde. There would be....XD.......this one dude who keps running in to my Volyedge charge.....XD. Finally he said " DUDE, U be HACKING!!!!! UR voltedge is making me draw to IT!!!" im not sure if he was joking or not, but it was a funny sight to see.

Wed, 09/19/2012 - 20:57

#17

Lightyourfire

Aha!^

So it was you I was poking repeatedly earlier today!

Best excuse I've heard was "no fiar, your invicnible"
The spelling makes it all better :3

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 08:08

#18

Roth-Man

i hate voltedge

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 08:25

#19

Jmsa

I hate it when people have to tell the world about there lag over and over again. :l

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 09:27

#20

Raisinfist

Hm.

My personal favourite is probably 'Hey, Y U kill me? I was AFK 'cause I had to load the dishwasher.'

I just made that up.

From an actual 'excuse' seen here.

If you just clicked on that video link, Punkbread, you just got TROLLED.

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 09:49

#21

Sylveon

"Alchemer gunning is

"Alchemer gunning is spamming"

LOL?

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 10:38

#22

Motorcat

"You're trash kid." -

"You're trash kid."
- Motorcat

"Fight me irl."
- Motorcat

"Look at this 13yr old kid, look at him; waving his rapier around like a fire hose and holding down his AA button, dancing 270 degrees around me without noticing my nitro. This kid must be 9"
-Motorcat

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 17:15

#23

Laylla

free hugs!

"Your polaris spam makes me lag!!!!!!!!!!!! You noob!!!!!!"

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 17:23

#24

Grittle

My favorite: "Dud serisly

My favorite:

"Dud serisly crystl bom Op dud, Op, Grittle is hackz, nic, if u her me, plz ban Grittle for using hvy crysta bombz."

I loled off my chair after that. That concussion was WORTH IT!

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 18:51

#25

Bert-Banana

Spam.
Lag.
AA.
Teleporting.
Noob.
Shock.
Stun.
Bomber spam.
OP UV's.
Comboed.
Hammer.
Valiance.
Skolver.
Polaris.
Umbra.
Hail.
Storm Driver.
Toothpick.
Gran Faust.
Uneven teams.
2v1ed.
3v1ed.
4v1ed.
5v1ed.
6v1ed.

I respond to these with 'k.'

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 19:41

#26

Bella-Donna

CALLAHAN!!i!

I died tring to screen cap a rock jelly... Then they killed it before I could get it.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 04:45

#27

Redblades

ehhh

danyx once called me a "FF" spammer although I clearly killed him with around 3 ff first swings and 1 gf swing..
he was like you spam FF man! autoaim spam!
and I wasn't playing with autoaim. Y U NO UNDERSTAND
GOOD AIM =/= autoaim.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 17:17

#28

Guyinshinyarmour

The thing about the hammer is that you can easily dismantle people using it if you yourself know how to use it. Since I wield it chiefly in the clockworks, I totally destroy people that dare use it on me. As such, I never got the rage over it.

But AA seems to be the punching bag these days instead of UVs. Guess there's a cycle to these things. Good thing I tend to ignore the chat. If only there was a way to hide it outright...

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 19:25

#29

Incendere

Better Lockdown

I came up with a design I see as far more tactical and fair. The thing is to remove classes entirely and instead have power-ups be bought by earning heat.
Heat is earned by capturing platforms and defeating rival players.
Like in the clockworks heat adds up, however, there would be a limit in lockdown how much heat can be stored at once. With this one would be able to trade the heat for power-ups like + health, + attack, +speed, etc.
Power ups are selected by clicking the on one of the options would be selected using the number keys or the icons which are displayed at the top of the screen.
Power-ups are limited to one per type but can all be obtained.
Capturing platforms gives all players in a team heat enough for half a power-up.
Players defeating others gives the player who defeated the other half the defeated players heat. Players who participate in defeating one enemy but do not defeat them themselves also gain some heat.
Players with no heat do not generate heat when defeated for the other player.
Power-ups are lost one at a time from the oldest to the newest when defeated ( unless reviving using energy).
Platforms gain power random power ups when captured. These include healing, attack up, defense up, and stealth.
Players gain access to these power-ups by being on the platform.
Stealth- gives friendly players on the platform invisibility only when not attacking or charging an attack.
Attack up- gives friendly players on the platform an attack boost for all weapons. The attack power is displayed similar to attack power-ups used by wolvers which show a red ring around the player.
Defense up- gives friendly players on the platform max defense for all damage types (this has no effect on shields; only direct damage). Defense power is displayed with a blue ring around the player.
Healing- friendly players on the platform heal at a quick rate.
Platforms do not give effects to foes.
Defending a platform also gives players extra heat when in the platform.
Possible player power ups:
+attack- boosts players attach for all weapons
+defense- boosts players defenses to max
+speed- boosts speed and movement
+charge- max charge time for all weapons
+radar- shows players directions and shows invisible players.
+Health- Similar to a heath capsule.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 19:29

#30

Wulfeknight

People who complain about

People who complain about "Spamming" swords are my new favorite.

Bonus points if they type it "Spaming".

Wed, 09/26/2012 - 11:55

#31

Good-Spirit

"nobody move i'm d/cing" gets

"nobody move i'm d/cing" gets my vote for best

my best legit one is my daughter was smashing the space bar (change weapons). nothin like trying to shoot someone with a triglav

Wed, 09/26/2012 - 17:27

#32

Yirumi

"Yurimu hacks!! bullets

"Yurimu hacks!! bullets bouncing everywhere and hitting me from behind@@!@!!"
-don't think he liked my alchemers, didn't even get my name right :l

Wed, 09/26/2012 - 19:02

#33

Dhmorgousbord

Once a guy who wasn't doing

Once a guy who wasn't doing too well said he was doing so because "He was playing on an airplane and the guy next to him was snoring distractingly loud." I asked him why he would try to play LD on a plane. He didn't reply

Thu, 09/27/2012 - 07:43

#34

Sylveon

Here's another

"Gunning is for girls"

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Entertaining LD excuses