Okay, so everyone knows what the most epic weapon in the game is, right?
So yeah, it's the epic crowbar. Obviously I am not so fool as to suggest implementing the actual damage values in the game for all players, since I'm pretty sure that they are over 9000 (or at least 8000, which is the point at which pretty much anything has given up under the tremendous asskicking you just gave it).
Here's what I propose:
A reskinned weapon, made to look like a crowbar, with bright silver colouring (the same shade and texture as the standard Leviathan's blade).
The actual official banstick is mainly a mauve colour, with dull iron-grey ends to wrench apart boxes, enemies, allies, Vanaduke, stray headcrabs and pretty much anything else you would care to name, a la Gordon Freeman.
Crowbar prices would be exactly the same as the original Scissor Blades (1.5 million). Before anybody complains about the price being high, that's the point; it's a 5* weapon that is essentially designed to function as a piece of awesome bling.
Please note none of these weapons are going to do 8k per hit.
Option 1: the weapon has the same functionality, attack speed and damage values as an equivalent Leviathan Blade. It does normal damage, nothing particularly special, three strokes at medium speed and a spin on the charge attack (like the actual banstick, except without damaging allies).
Option 2: We've already got a reskin of Levi in the Scissor Blades, so why not use its lesser-known cousin Cold Iron Vanquisher, a reskin instead? It's a normal damage zombie smashing crowbar with marginally less damage against all non-undead enemies, and a bit more versus all undead (intrinsic damage bonus High vs. Undead). It gets the same three-stroke medium standard attack, and its charge features marginally less knockback. Surprise, just like the CIV in that respect!
tl;dr: crowbar reskin = epic looking crownsink.
Feedback?
Crownsink good.
Crowbar good.
Doc approves.