Yeah, fanfic! I know I said I wanted to write a comedy, but this was written months ago. And I know its not that long, and some things might not seem to make sense, but I was bored when I started, and I've had school and chores and game playing time (Borderlands 2 FTW! Same for ACIII) slowing me down, but I thought I might upload it now anyway. So, here you are.. And I might copy Artist a bit here. Sorry, Art.

Spiral Knights Presents...

A Frostrex Fanfiction...

In Association with the Treasure Vault...

Produced and Directed by Frostrex...

After the End of Days

Ain't No Place for a Hero

Scarf held the sniper rifle upwards in his right hand and glared into the distance with his left hand above his purple-blue eyes. He wore a dark grey coat, a faded red scarf wrapped tightly around his head, face and neck. A bandolier filled with sniper bullets was clipped around his chest and back and another filled with shotgun shells was around his waist. He wore worn leather boots, razor blades as spurs. He leapt down from the rocky outcrop, kicking up a cloud of dust. He walked forward, toward a tall, slanted building with red and silver flags draped from railings. That meant civillized Knights. Blue and gold meant Bandits. Good thing it wasn't purple and grey. He kept on walking rifle in both hands and a shotgun tied to his back. He heard the hum of motors in the distance and rolled into cover behind a raised rock, listened carefully. The hum became a growl than a roar as a truck covered in Bandit markings flew overhead, sand blanketing Scarf. He coughed and gagged as the Bandits drove around in circles again and again, creating a large cloud of dust. Scarf ran around the spasming vehicle and rolled into a cave. He walked through small tunnel until he was bathed in daylight again. He climbed the large rock in front of him and took aim at the Bandits, heading toward the Remnant settlement. He stared through the cracked scope, zoomed in, held his breath, counted to three and fired. The bullet tore through the driver's head, blowing it up like a hammer greeting a melon. Scarf pulled back the bolt, the casing falling to the ground, pushed the bolt back. The truck swerved and hit a rock that sent it spinning. It slammed into a rock and stopped. A Bandit stayed on the machine gun while the five others piled out of the truck, waving shotguns, pistols and assault rifles. He took aim again and the first Bandits head exploded. He pulled the bolt back and pushed forward, but it was jammed. The sand. He quickly pulled the shotgun from his back and slung the rifle in its place. He pumped it and fired a blast into two approaching Bandits, killing one and blowing the arm off another. He smacked the disabled one in the face and pumped the gun again, swinging the barrel towards another approaching Bandit, separating his torso from his legs. The last one fired off a few shots, hitting the sand around Scarf. He punched the Bandit in the face, spun him around as the gunner fired a spray of bullets. The meat shield was quickly riddled with lead and the Knight threw his bleeding form at the gunner, disorienting him for a few moments. Scarf clambered up the truck, blasting the Bandits head off at point-blank. He threw the dead gunners body off the truck and leapt into the driver's seat. He got ready to drive, then quickly reached into his pack, draping a flag over the front of the truck, same colours as the one on the building. He then drove toward the building until a piercing pain jabbed into his arm. The truck swerved and he fell into darkness as several blurred figures raced to stop the truck and pull Scarf out of the seat.

Scarf woke up bound to a steel chair, two other Knights staring at him. The one on his left held a hammer in his hands, tossing it back and forth between them. "Mornin', Sunshine!" the one on the right exclaimed. He spoke with a Western accent. "If you'll just tell us why you were drivin' around our home in a Bandit truck, pretendin' to be a Remnant, we might only break one of your legs before we burn ya." He truned to the hammerman. "Whaddaya say, Met?"
"If you can get me off him, that might happen, Vex." Met's voice was very deep.
Scarf sighed. "I'm sorry, there's been a great misun-" The hammer slammed into his face harder than the time he fell on a rock after falling twenty feet. Fluro blue blood sprayed everywhere.
"We didn't ask you to speak, my friend." Vex laughed. "Met here isn't very docile." Scarved coughed. "I hurt him, can I go again?" Met asked.
"Well.. Uh, what do you think, my friend?"
Scarf grunted in response.
"Go ahead, Met." Vex smiled.
"This is gonna be fun and hurt."
The hammer smacked into his shoulder, his left leg and his face again. "Why won't you scream? SCREAM!" The hammer hit him again and again and again.
The blows would have killed any other Knight. But Scarf just laughed. He looked up. What should have been a face mangled beyond recognition was a perfectly fine one. The rest of his body returned to normal, too. No shattered bones, no ruptured organs. Met stared, dumbfounded. "Why you no dying? Why you not scream?!"
As it turned out, Met was not the sharpest tool in the shed. He raised the hammer again. "Hit me again and this whole place'll go up in flames."
"Met, you better keep going, he's making death threats!" Vex yelled, laughing and enjoying everything.
"I warned you." Scarf tore from the rope bindings and leapt on Met, knocking the hammer away, and laying down punches.
"Yell stop if you still want your face." Scarf whispered.
"Stop! STOP!" Met yelled through gritted teeth.
"Alright." He got up and held out his hand to Met. Met just stood up. Vex stood next to him, shaken. Scarf turned to him. "My weapons and my vehicle. I also want what you looted from those Bandits."
"What Bandits?" Vex asked shakily.
"Nevermind. Take me to your Commandant."
"Y-yessir."

Commandant Kretel shook his head wearily. "Didn't I tell Lock Dam that we have barely enough food ourselves and that we can't trade?"
"You did, but they're persisting. Saying they have no food at all and water's gonna go next." Lieutenant Angel replied.
"Just.. Tell them that we can help them find food, but we can't give them any." Kretel sighed. The end of the world was just stressing. Angel left and Vex and a stranger walked in. "Made a new friend, have we, Vex?"
"Pounded the hell outta Met."
Kretel instantly pulled out his revolver.
The stranger sighed. "Why can't we just be peaceful about this? I thought the whole point of the Remnant was to rebuild Spiralian society? I don't think they pulled guns on everyone they met in the old days."
"You beat our toughest guy. You're dangerous." Kretel didn't point the gun away.
"Look, I killed some Bandits, drove their truck with a Remnant flag draped over it towards here, got drugged and smashed in the face with a hammer by a mutant. The reasons I'm talking to you, one, I want my stuff back, the vehicle and my weapons. Two, I want to know if I can help out. Maybe stay here."
Kretel considered what the stranger had said. "Alright, Vex, go grab his stuff and fuel the vehicle. We're going hunting." Vex left and Kretel turned to the stranger. "Welcome to Steelhaven. What's your name?"
He held out his hand.
The stranger shook it. "They call me Scarf."

The truck flew off a cliff and revved down a dirt path towards a Bandit camp, a small house surrounded by a couple of shacks and a few tents in a gully. A bridge connected the two ridges. "You sure these guys have food?" Kretel turned to Scarf. "Bandits always have food, since they kill anything. Just.. make sure what you gather is.. animal." Kretel made a sound of disgust. They rode in slowly, attempting to fool the Bandits into thinking they were with them. "This'd better work..."
"Don't worry. With Zero, Twitcher and Mickel disguised as Bandits in the back, we'll be fine."
The Bandit at the gate signalled them to stop and Kretel looked over to Scarf. "We're not dressed like Bandits."
"You aren't, but I can pass for one. I'm not wearing any colours. I'd hide if I were you." Kretel ducked.
The Bandit looked in at Scarf and looked around to the back at the fake Bandits. "You're good."
Scarf smiled. "You aren't."
While the Bandit was confused for a few seconds, the Scarved Knight punched him square in the face and quickly dragged him in the truck while choking him. After a few tense seconds, Scarf tossed him in the back. "I'll drive in, start shooting."
Twitcher nodded and cocked his revolver. Zero tightened his grip on the sword as Mickel pumped his shotgun. Scarf put his foot down as hard as he could and they went zooming through the gate. The Bandits didn't know what was happening until a spray of pellets blasted two of them to pieces and the truck rammed three into the shack, plowing through its walls. Scarf swerved the truck around and shouted to Kretel. "Get the stuff now!" But Kretel was already moving, scrambling over rocks to get to a fire guarded by a Bandit. "Want our food, huh?" He was a big guy, standing a foot taller than Kretel. "Yeah, if that's not a problem."
"Oh, it's gonna be a big problem." He laughed, thumping his fist into his hand.
A pistol appeared in Kretel's hand. The tank lunged at him with both hands, but grabbed nothing. Then he crumpled to the ground, the top of his body toppling off. Kretel stood, spinning the revolver on his finger. "Didn't know what hit 'im." He holstered the gun and gathered the cooked food and tins of other food and stuffed them into his bag. Zero and Twitcher were running towards the truck with food, as well as Scarf. They reached the truck and threw the food in the back. Frost reached it and did the same. "Where's Mickel?"
Twitcher stared at a group of four Bandits stomping on something. Or someone.
Scarf leapt off the truck. "Kretel, drive!"
Frostrex got in the driver's seat and swerved out of the encampment, Bandits firing at them from the bridge. Scarf ran as fast as he could towards Mickel. He picked up a discarded hatchet and called to the Bandits. "Hey, metalhead!" The one with the helmet turned, and Scarf threw the hatchet at his face. He went down on top of another Bandit. Scarf pulled a large knife from his belt and jumped onto one of the Bandits, stabbing him through the chest. He sliced at the next, but the Bandit blocked with his left and punched Scarf in the face with his right. Scarf brought the blade back and stabbed downwards at the Bandit. The Bandit moved to dodge the attack but Scarf flipped the blade and brought it up through the bottom of the Bandit's skull. He quickly abandoned the knife and snapped the neck of the remaining one. He grabbed his knife, and looked down at Mickel, who'd had his right arm and side badly damaged, his left leg broken and his face mangled. Scarf checked for a pulse then retreived a blanket, a relatively clean one, from a tent, draped it over Mickel's corpse and carried him back to the truck. "I'm sorry." He said quietly as he placed the body in the back of the truck. "You got a graveyard?"
"Yeah." Zero jumped in the passenger seat. "Not far from here. Follow the path then turn right at the White Rock."
"Gotcha."
Twitcher turned to Scarf. "You don't seem very phased..."
"Death is rather frequent in these times. And I barely knew the guy. Was he nice?"
"Yeah. He was a nice kid."
"The good die young... How did he even end up that far away?"
Zero chimed in. "He ran out in the open, gun blazing."
Scarf sighed. "This ain't no place for a hero either..."

They reached the grave site and Twitcher and Kretel jumped out with shovels to bury Mickel. His tombstone was his assault rifle, firing mechanism taken out and unloaded with his Stranger Hat, with a broken light, on it.
They promptly left and when they reached Steelhaven, Scarf pulled Kretel aside. "Hey, uh, I just wanted to ask you.. Any chance I could borrow some fuel to get to Lark Station. I gotta catch a train to Sanctuary."
"Well, you did help us help Lock Dam, and they have plenty of fuel they could trade us for food." Kretel thought. "Sure, but I'd like to accompany you to see if that's where you actually go. Plus, I'll keep the Technical safe."
"Sure, whatever." Scarf said reluctantly. Kretel called for the Technical to be fuelled up and Scarf stocked up on all the ammunition he could carry. Then they set off.

A Train to Catch

When they arrived in Whiteburn Divide, they instantly noticed the contrast between the Sand Seas and Whiteburn Divide. One was the massive, snow-capped rocks that lined the dirt roads and the brown grass. It was brown, but it was grass. They also noticed the cooler air. It felt like the Sand Seas at night. They found Lark Station, a small Remnant outpost for travelling to Sanctuary. The track was no secret, but it was hidden from the Regiment. The Bandits never dared to attack it. It was one of the strongest outposts the Remnant had, due to it being of vital importance. "Well," Kretel said. "Was nice meeting you. Thanks for the help."
"Your welcome. Sorry about Mickel."
"Not your fault. Not your fault."
"Whatever. Thanks for getting me here."
Scarf jumped off the truck and climbed the steps to the station. The guard looked at him. "Huh.. Don't get many Nomads 'round here. I'll get you a pass inna sec." He turned to the owner. "Got another one here. "Name?" He turned to Scarf. "I get called Scarf." He responded. The guard said. "Would you like a room in Sanctuary to be reserved for you? Helluva lot better than tents, you ask me."
"Yeah, sure."
"That'll be ten Shields or two Locks."
Scarf handed over two keyhole shaped pieces off silver. "Thank you." He handed Scarf a card with his name on it. "Valid 'till the end of the year."
"Thanks." Scarf nodded. He boarded the train and took a seat on the right side on the front carriage. Few other people climbed on after him. The number of people in his carriage was about twenty six. The train started up, gaining speed. It turned right, left, right twice, then the rocks ended and an ocean stretched far into the horizon. He feel asleep a few minutes later, tired from his day.

"Open up!" The muffled voice from behind the door jolted Scarf awake. It was followed by thumps on the door. He was on the floor, which was weird. He dragged himself up and saw another Knight propped up against the wall opposite him, bleeding. She was barely alive. "Are you alright?" She whimpered. Scarf turned to see the cabin full of Knights. Some he recognized from when they boarded. "Does anyone know..." He faltered when he saw several corpses and many more injured. "OPEN UP!" The voice behind the door pounded again. Scarf stepped to the person holding the door closed. "Who is that out there?"
"Regiment troops, my friend." Scarf nodded then the man said. "They're looking for someone who looks.. They want you!"
Scarf stared him down. "Don't get any ideas, old man..."
He whimpered. "Yes.. Sor-"
"You hear that?" Someone cut in.
Scarf pressed his ear to the door.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep-beep.
Beep-beep-beep.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
"Oh, [scrap]. RUUUUU-" Scarf dove.

KA-THOOM!

After the dust cleared, he saw Regiment troops step in. He tried to move, but his leg was stuck under the heavy steel door. "Son of a [wheel]." He looked around, his ears ringing. He saw his shotgun and rifle lying on the ground under a seat. Too damn far. Then he saw the old man's body next to a revolver just out of reach. "Might as well try it." He was blasted right to the other end of the cabin, so he had alot of time to try and retrieve the pistol. He stretched as far as he could. The tips of his fingers tapped the grip. "C'mooon." The Regiment were shooting the survivors. They wouldn't shot him. His fingers could now sliding the gun toward him. "Almost there." So was the Regiment. Three survivors left. He would save them if he could. "Yes." He held the gun now and sat up. "Suprise, suckers!" He pulled the hammer back and pulled the trigger, hitting a Regiment trooper in the face. The next one was wearing a face mask, so Scarf aimed for his chest, hitting the trooper between his armour plates. He went down, still alive. He fired at the last one, hitting him in the shoulder and neck. He aimed at the downed trooper, but all he got was a click. He began to wonder what the old man'd shot, before a boot hit him the face. The Regimental looked down upon him, eyes blazing with fury. Scarf used his free leg to hit him in the side of the leg, knocking him down. Scarf jimmied his leg, trying to get the door off of him. The trooper was starting to get back up. "Goddamn it."
He was almost out, so he tried lifting the door. He got it up only a little, but it worked. He slipped his leg out and had his faced smashed by the trooper's gun. Scarf wiped the blood off his face and looked up. The trooper stepped back. "What the hell? Your face should be mincemeat."
Scarf smiled and leant down to reach for his shotgun. He pumped it and aimed at the soldier's face. "Yours is about to be." The trooper's head was blasted clean off and replaced by Sergeant Pierce's. The body feel to the ground. "Oh, hell."
"Scarf, we meet again. Or should I say 5C-4RF."
"This will be the last time we meet."
"I will visit your cell whenever I can."
"I have a shotgun." Scarf retorted.
"I have a train full of troops." Sgt. Pierce said.
"I have a shotgun." Scarf repeated.
"I don't think you understand."
"I understand completely."
"We own you, so you have to come with us."
"Think what you want, Pierce."
Pierce spun two pistols around his fingers and aimed the both at Scarf. "I think you are going to die. A very slow, painful death."
"Like I said, think what you want."
Pierce fired and hit Scarf in the shoulder. Scarf slid behind the seat that his rifle was beneath and slung it round him. He loaded another shell into the shotgun and pumped it. He waited for the wound to heal. He'd pull the bullet out later. He held the gun around the corner and returned fire. Pierce rolled behind a seat. Scarf looked up and saw the window above him. Then the door. The door would be easier but expose him, the window would be harder, but not expose him. He chose door. He rolled out and turned right, slamming into the door.

He had to quickly grab the side bar. The train was still moving! He swung to the left and grabbed the horizontal bar and climbed to the top of the train. He was surrounded by snow capped hills and mountains. Snow sped towards him in the air. He stood slowly, arms out to keep his balance. He holstered the shotgun. He sprinted forward and leapt over the gap. Pierce was below him and fired, clipping Scarf on the foot, causing him to roll off one side of the train. "Ah, crap!" He hauled himself up and saw a group of seven Regiment troops approaching. He looked behind him as Pierce climbed up. "Oh, c'mon!"
"Give up now, bandit!" A trooper cried.
"Like hell I will!" Scarf called back.
"You've lost, 5C-4RF, give yourself up!" Pierce held the gun at the back of his head and pulled the shotgun from its holster and unslung the rifle, tossing them over the side. "Those had sentimental value." Scarf whispered angrily.
"What?"
Scarf flipped over Pierce, landing behind him. He kicked Pierce in the back, sending him sprawling into the Regimentals, knocking a few off the side. A trooper aimed his gun at Scarf, quivering. "Cease and dissist!" He said shakily. Scarf briskly grabbed the barrel of the assault rifle and swung him off the train, flipping the rifle into a proper grip. Several more were approaching from both sides. "This is gonna be one a those days, eh?"
The sun was setting. The sky was purple.
Scarf's eyes narrowed and turned an impossible shade of purple. "Let's dance."
He turned and fired at three troopers behind him and did the same to the other side. He threw the gun into the face of an incoming soldier, who lost his footing and slipped off the train. He unsheathed his blade, put his fingers in the brass knuckles and swung toward a trooper climbing up from the carriage, making him fall through the gap. Pierce appeared behind him and punched him in the back of the head. "Coward!" Scarf snarled. Pierce reloaded his guns and aimed at Scarf. "I was simply giving you a reason to kill me."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I'm not the best at epic lines, okay?" Pierce sighed.
"No, but you certainly are stupid."
Scarf kicked a revolver out of his hand and leapt over him. Pierce was stunned for a few moments and Scarf disarmed him. "Goodbye, Pierce."
"One last thing, 5C-4RF: we killed the driver."
Scarf shot him in the head and quickly rolled down into a cabin as the train derailed and tumbled down the side of the cliff.

Ice, Snow and Blood

Scarf was half-buried half-frozen in snow. His injuries had healed, which he figured out were a broken leg, a fractured arm and a ruptured lung. He sat up and looked around. A blizzard was raging, so he could only see about ten feet in front of him in each direction. He walked a while in each direction, finding cliffs, mountains, ridges and canyons. "Brilliant." He remarked. "A tundra."
He walked in the one direction that he thought he would find something. He knew he could trust his insincts. He was walking for about a half hour before he found a natural tunnel. He quickly clambered inside, going further into the tunnel. The snow level began to decreases and he could clearly see the ice now. Blood was on the floor. He followed the trail until he came to a split path. "Left or.. right..." He thought to himself. The blood went left. "Is that a good sign?" He mumbled. He went left, promising himself that he would come back and go right. The tunnel took him into darkness. "Fun." He kept going and it eventually led to an opening. A half-dead Knight leant against the icy wall in front of him, holding a deep wound in her stomach. "Oh, you're the one they're looking for." She coughed.
"Yeah.. I.. am."
"Well, after you killed the sergeant, that Pierce guy... I.. uh, I managed to grab one of his revolvers. It's completely full."
"And you want me to take it even though you need it more?"
"Well.. well, yeah. Will you?"
"I dunno. I mean, it'd be... useful, but Frostifurs..." Scarf considered.
"Look at me. I'm half-dead. I'd be surprised if they didn't find me, what with all this blood." She exclaimed.
"Look, I'll take it, but I'll look around for a settlement, get some medical supplies and take you to Sanctuary."
"If you can. Take your time." She handed him the revolver. "I'll come back, I promise."
He went through the next opening. It led to the outside, the snow'd died down a little and he could tell it was night. He clambered atop a small ridge and looked down. He saw a shanty town filled with Bandits. "I guess it would've been TOO easy if I found a non-murderous town." He sighed and leapt from the cliff, spinning the cylinder and pulling back the hammer of the revolver.

He landed at the gate and walked toward it. "Here we go." He knocked. "Little pigs, let me the hell in or I'll burn your goddamned town down."
The leader of the Bandits spoke through a set of speakers behind the gate. A low-tech camera was between them. "Who do you think you are to make demands?!"
"I wasn't kidding when I said I would burn this [scrap]hole to the ground, you know..."
"Hey, guys, we got a hero who wants his [bucket] kicked. Go and half-kill that sucker and bring 'em to me!"
The gate lifted halfway, stopped, then hit the ground. "Hey, I think ya gates broken."
"Shut up!" A Bandit yelled at him.
"Just saying." He aimed at the Bandit and put one between his eyes, aiming to the left of him and hitting another in the shoulder, sending him sprawling. "What did Pierce do to his guns?" He fired at three others and took aim at another trying to hit him from a balcony. He pulled the trigger but he didn't drop dead. A sniper got him in the head. All was black. His thoughts weren't what you think they'd be. "I see what you did, Piercey. Increase the calibre and size of the charge, but sacrifice a bullet."

End of Part One

Ice, Snow and Blood: Part 2

"How'd he survive?"
"How am I to know? Maybe here wears some kind of protection under the scarf."
"I'm not so sure. You'd be able to see it.."
"You wanted a reasonable possibility, dincha?"
The two Bandits dragged Scarf down an alley to a blue tent with a skull-crossed-sword-and-gun insignia on the flap.
Everything was blurry and dark. "Great, captured again." He mumbled to himself.
One of the Bandits kicked him in the gut. "Shaddap!"
"You'll regret that." Scarf said coldly.
"Oh, will I?" The Bandit sneered.
"You just wait."
The Bandit laughed and he and his companion threw him throught the flap, walking in after him. "We found this joker, the one who disrespected you. The leader turned around. He was tall and rotund, wore a blue armoured coat and a horned helmet with blue hazard striped steel plates covering his face. His eyes were small and red. "Huh.." He remarked. "You don't look like much. Not much at all." He had a gruff voice.
"I assure you, I am one of the best killers in this world." The leader punched him in the face. "Did I say you could speak?"
"No, but I intend on continuing." Of course, his face was normal.
"Odd. But if I hurt you enough, you will not have time to regenerate."
"You, sir, are the first to realize that. Kudos."
"Don't make me hit you again." The leader said through gritted teeth.
"May I ask your name?"
"Call me the Frost Overlord."
"Fancy."
One of the Bandits turned. "Oi, don't diss the Overlord."
"What're gonna do?"
"I'll beat ya!"
"I'll feed you your teeth."
The Bandit lunged at Scarf, as he merely dodged and punched the Bandit in the face. The second one joined in and kicked Scarf in the stomach. Scarf returned by punching the Bandit in the gut and kicking him in the face. The other swung a chair at him, which he ducked under. He kicked the Bandit down and knocked him out cold with a punch the other ran. The other put his hands up, scared. "Stop, please!"
"Aww.. Already?"
The Bandit looked at him with fear in his eyes.
"Fine." Scarf mumbled.
The Frost Overlord smashed him in the face, knocking him out.
"Again?" He asked himself while he drifted into nothingness.

Oh and some facts:

Scarf was originally going to be referred to as the Scarved Knight all the damn time, but that was irritating for me to write so... Yeah.

Frostrex was originally going to run Steelhaven, but I thought I might save him and other "Legacy" characters, as I like to call them. They appear in other, unuploaded fanfics. (Tevokkia, Sol, Isis, Kaiju, Atgatg, Varsian, and Isekuube). I hope you guys don't mind me using you as characters, but you will appear in pretty much every fanfic. The Legacy characters will appear in this, either cameo, or full role.

Pierce was originally to be Lieutenant, but I thought otherwise, wanting Scarf to kill his enemy's leaders in a rank order.

I'm Australian. JK.

Good luck to all the people in New York and other areas affected by the superstorm. Even if you can't read this.

That's all for now.

Thanks.