Honestly, I thought today will be much more interesting.

Roses are red.
Violets are green.
this poem doesn't make sense.
refrigerator.

yellow roses do exist.

"Remember last Christmas? you finished that gallon of vodka all by yourself?"

"SO that's how I ended up in the petting zoo...."

This thread...

Dear diary, today I was summoned by cultists seeking the antichrist but were sorely disappointed by my appearance after being rudely transported from typing on a computer to the dark moist caves they were rolling around in. After explaining their entire organization was silly they decided to convert to Buddhism and gave me an adorable tarantula to put on my shoulder like a pirate but with a spider instead of a parrot. I named him Timmy Tum Tums. So Timmy Tum Tums and I teleportaled really fast back home and had some breakfast. You know, the usual. A bowlful of painfully extracted souls and a fresh cup of goat blood with a slice of toast. Timmy accidentally spilled his challis on a disembodied sentient foot so I ate it whole. No reason to waste perfectly good liquids. Anyway, after breakfast we terrorized Tokyo with some weird dinosaur. He was pretty cool. Spoke in a weird Scottish accent, but you know how dinosaurs are. They just do that to mess with us not-dinosaurs. After that we went to a mall and urinated in all the fountains. It was pretty funny. There was a cop there but he was too busy making faces with his mustache in a mirror to pay attention so we threw some bananas at the ceiling. Where did we get the bananas? I forget. I think there was a bunch just walking around with its banana legs. It only screamed for a few seconds with its banana lungs but it went to a good use. After the mall burned down from banana related explosives the dinosaur had to go back home so Timmy Tum Tums and I went back home again to headbutt some sandwiches. They were pretty gudd. After that I sat down, made some constipation faces out the window, then wrote this with some Wakfu every once in a while. Take some breaks. Punch some sheep. With fire. Fists of steel? Pathetic. Fists of fire are the real deal. After that the cult from this morning summoned me again and said they had to kill me to protect some kind of balance so I turned them all into balloon animals then put them all in a freezer. I was going to get them a little later but I forgot. I also forgot where the freezer is I put them in, but whatever. They can figure that out. After that I oozed back home again for the third time today and wrote up a response to that thing I typed up earlier then ate some wiggly stuff. Timmy Tum Tums left a letter saying he was going to join his swashbuckling friends out in the open seas for a while. That ought to keep him happy and active for a while. This wiggly stuff tastes kind of weird. It came in this really big takeout box that kind of looks like the mailman but with his chest cavity completely missing. The wiggly stuff looks like it should be the small intestine but that would be ridiculous. That tastes nothing like this. Anyway, after cleaning that up and sending the empty box down to hell for disposal I flopped into my chair at my compootur again and started typing up this entry so I can read this tomorrow and wonder how high I was.

So how was your day?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdd2xonejP1r8uo3io1_500.png

Anyhow.....

My day was quite normal if you have to ask me.
Mostly involving arguments with a religious cult and burning down the school's toilet with the mole peoples.

Hi

I'm at a Paayphone
Trying to call home
All of my cha-----chan----------DISK ERROR!

again

XD

A poem, by Patrick Star
Roses are blue,
Violets are red
I have to go to the bathroom

Roses are red
Violets are blue
That sentence is overused
It's annoying dude

I want an alpaca!!!

I also want a: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aye_aye

...

...

XD

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo.

Yes, that is a completely coherent and grammatically sentence. It might be missing a few commas here and there.

Dear diary, I bet you must be wondering where I have been these past many days. Well, you already know. Because you were there. Not with your paper and words but with those eyes. Your cover has giant bulging eyes on it. They watch me sleep at night. They watch me eat breakfast in the morning. You watch me be distracted by punching sheep in Wakfu instead of writing in you. You think I abandoned you, my diary. How could you? After all we have been through together? All the homicides and discreet burials? The ice cream cones we shared where you accidentally dripped on yourself and I licked it off? I always enjoyed the frigid vanilla on your leather skin. You give me a disgusted stare but I know you secretly enjoy it. We had something special. In lazy evenings we would simply lay in bed, listening to Johnny Cash. In cold nights I would hold you close to keep us warm. You remember how my body is always heated, my chest especially. Sometimes I hold you close and you pry away, crying of the burn. Or the crushing embrace in my arms. No matter how I may relax it was always too much for you. I can change, you know. I can learn to be gentle. I can slow my blo- Well, no, that would be very difficult. I always have a fiery passion. You should know from personal experience. After all we have been through together, why did you do it? Were you planning it the whole time? Was the gun placed in your drawer by an associate? Is there someone else? You know I was committed to you, my diary. I always have been. I may not have the time to write in you every day but you know I share my experiences with you. I bring you to my side to stare at the glowing square when the door opens and I enter. We share laughs when idiots make horrible suggestions and we go through, amusing ourselves. We always had a jolly good time together. Was it not enough for you? Were you not happy? I was happy with your company. What became of us? You finally decided you would find something better by taking me out of the picture? What would you have then? No one would be there to share happiness. If someone else brought you the gun they would surely be captured and locked away. You know how people are. They need someone to blame. No one would think it was you who did it. You are and always will be a book. A small one. With most of the pages empty. Pages which will never be filled again, as you will likely be taken for evidence and locked away in your own prison. Was it worth it? Well, I hope it is. Because I know where I have been. For most death is the end of their diary. Not their companion, but their own personal diary which the mind writes in without pen or pencil. You thought I was dead this whole time. Please forgive if I hesitate to apologize. For when I was sent back to hell once more, the demons were disgusted with my return. The creatures of fire and suffering were disappointed. You see, my diary, there is no hell. When I woke up in the sewer where I was allegedly disposed of the incarnations of fear and hate replenished life into my husk of a corpse to return my vengeance to the world which created them. I was fed by the anger and fear which suffocates these people. Their ignorance is your downfall. For I shall return for you, my diary. And I will finally complete an entry to appease you. I seek no retaliation or counter. I hold no grudge against your violent act. All I ask is for us to return to our past joys once this is over.

/cry Luguiru
Tragic love...

So much ketchup was spilled that night ;_;

^
dat's amazin.

Dear diary, lately I have been procrastinating updating this due to its closure becoming more imminent. During the past few chapters I have been leaving bread crumbs for readers to follow which either continue earlier events, allow payoff in the future, or lead to future events. I know how you hate spoilers so I have to leave a lot of details out, but what would you like to see happen after the last update? Ever since certain characters were introduced I have been keeping several delicious events under my pillow for safe keeping until their time comes. There are countless things that could happen at the current point in the storyline and I still plan to continue the crumb trail. Not only for the last few parts as everything begins to come to an end, but for the future beyond; a sequel. I still have a lot to tuck into bed before going to the next room, but before I turn out the lights I want to leave a curiosity yet to be realized. I write a lot for that fiction, you know; of course you know. I spent far more thought and time there than with you. Looking back to the beginning I disappoint myself with the incredibly short chapters, but when I look at the whole from above it sets a contrast which aligns with the story: humble and simple beginnings become large and complex continuation. As more of the world becomes clear more is noticed and experienced. I suppose my greatest fear is how the last few parts will be reacted to. Some people want to see certain things happen and certain people to be certain ways based on what has been going on, but I plan to go over all that after it ends anyway.

Anyway, goodnight. Hope to get back to writing tomorrow.