Well well well, what have we here?

"Guardian of the Shadows Helm
Stats: Somewhat better shadow resist than Snarbolax Cap and Dread Skelly Mask, but would decrease your move speed by medium and your attack speed by low. Fire resistance similar to Firebreak's, with an even vulnerability to freeze."

So it has better shadow defense than both Snarbolax and Dread Skelly, but it gives -2 movement speed and -1 attack speed. But wait, it also has 1.5 bars fire and -1.5 bars freeze resistances. Why does a freeze themed boss have fire resistance and freeze weakness?

"Guardian of the Shadows armor
Same stats as above, but makes you weaker on the back and INCREASES your attack speed by medium to counter the helm's downside."

So its shadow defense is still better than Snarbolax and DSkelly, the second of which is supposed to be the best at defending against shadow damage, makes your back vulnerable, and gives +2 attack speed? Is that speed bonus universal to all weapons? Why would anyone use the helmet when it has no benefits other than more shadow defense than other shadow helmets? Do you think having more defense makes it more valued? Compare DSkelly to Snarbolax or Shadowsun. Which do you think people prefer? A tiny bit more defense which hardly matters (it might save you 1-2 bars of health) or +2 of a weapon specialist bonus?

"Shield of The Ur
Instead of protecting you itself, this shield generates the Dark Reprisal-like bullets around you. Each bullet deals as much SHADOW damage as one Acheron charge explosion. (Same as the charge on each stratum)."

A shield without defense, you say? And it attacks for you?
"Each bullet deals as much SHADOW damage as one Acheron charge explosion"
No. Do you have any idea how much damage that is? You want the effects of a bomb with the damage of a sword on a shield.

"Blade of The Ur
Same stats as Cold Iron Vanquisher, but instead the damage bonus is against Gremlins and is Very High."

Vanquisher only gives a +3 family bonus. You want a +4 bonus.

"Lucky Trojan Ring
Slightly decreases the damage taken on the back while wearing Shadow Guardian armor. Useless with anything else."

Trojans and knights work differently. Trojans are completely invincible on their shield side and only take damage from their back. Knights are vulnerable from all directions unless they activate their shield which makes them invincible from all directions so long as their shield is active and alive. Why would anyone want to use an armor that makes them get hit harder, lose movement speed, has a stupid set of status resistances, and only has +1 attack speed and "more shadow defense"?

"The armor/helm would have a 45% chance of being picked as the drop at the end of the battle.
The blade/shield would have a 35% chance of being picked as the drop at the end of the battle.
The trinket would have a 20% chance of being picked as the drop at the end of the battle."

What?

What?

"The drops are not AS rare as Darkfang Shield, True Love Locket, or the Humbug Hat"

Do you even know what Darkfang is? Do you know how many have been found at this time right now? Less than ten. Want to know what a 45% drop rate means? There are going to be at least two hundred of them within a week.

"There is only one drop per run, unless the game decides to very rarely grant the party the entire set."

You just gave us drop rates and now you say it guarantees a drop every run? How many joints have you smoked today?

"The party is guaranteed to get a drop. If this does not happen, they get 2,750 crowns."

No. No more of this trip out nonsense.

"If an item decides to drop, all party members get it."

Did you hear that? It was the sound of Nick calling a hitman to collect your head. Or his mental health therapist. Because this is all stupid.

As if the items themselves were not bad enough already, not to mention the reason ("because I want it"), but they drop 45% of the time but only one per run but there can be four per run because four party members but you get the entire set sometimes but other times you essentially get the payout doubled but you get free everything for no reason but you also g-

No.